Hitting/Slapping Children

[saffron sam2]

Pints

Do you have any children?

Slapping / hitting children certainly isn't for me, thank you.

[pintsofguinness]

Pints

Do you have any childern?

No, do you?

[Gnevin]

No you are just advocating physical violence on a helpless toddler - in other words you are bullying someone weaker than yourself; not that that surprises me.

Whereas allowing a child to do what they want is a sign of love?

You should be able to control a child with out hitting them.

[pintsofguinness]

No you are just advocating physical violence on a helpless toddler - in other words you are bullying someone weaker than yourself; not that that surprises me.

Whereas allowing a child to do what they want is a sign of love?

You should be able to control a child with out hitting them.

I use to argue that point too until my brother and sister started to have children and seen that was only true for some children.

[saffron sam2]

Pints

Do you have any children?

No, do you?

Two, but my point would be that my attitudes have changed since they appeared and that whilst you found the behaviour on the flight objectionable, I may have been more understanding.  Certainly I would prefer that to an obese person encroaching on my space.

[Gnevin]

No you are just advocating physical violence on a helpless toddler - in other words you are bullying someone weaker than yourself; not that that surprises me.

Whereas allowing a child to do what they want is a sign of love?

You should be able to control a child with out hitting them.

I use to argue that point too until my brother and sister started to have children and seen that was only true for some children.

I've never encountered in my admittedly limited experience with kids a child i had to resort to smacking

[Hardy]

I rely on personal experience from my own childhood in figuring out the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty. For me it was always preferable to get a slap than to be given some long drawn-out punishment like detention or lines in school or some form of privilege deprivation at home. For one thing, the slap always seemed to me a human response and was the best lesson of all in the effects of pushing people beyond their limits. Whereas the premeditated deprivation or enforcement type punishments always seemed to me peevish, bad minded and cruel.

Deiseach mentions the number of people who have seethed throughout their lives at unjust physical punishments. I must say that's not my experience at all and most take the rough with the smooth, balancing all the times we got away with stuff against the times we were framed. Apart, that is, from the Frank McCourt ilk who have made a living from the misery industry.

Of course this norm of behaviour in the Meath of my youth may be what has turned us into the psychopathic assassins that the rest of the country recognises.

[lynchbhoy]

a wee slap now and again when they misbehave does no harm

abuse is a different matter

But what is a wee slap - a 14 stone man hitting a toddler a wee slap could cause real harm - ffs shaking a toddler could kill them

common sense. a wee slap is a wee slap.
I have an unlcle who slapped his kids when they 'got out of hand'.
the same man actually knocked over a horse with a punch (true story)
I know he didnt do any damage to his kids. He could have , but obv common sense with a wee smack prevailed.

I think it depends on the child and the situation - whether they need a sharp sting of a slap to bring them to heel.
If the kid doesnt need it, then they dont obv have to get a slap.
Easy.
The parent/guardian doesnt have to exert much force in a slap. Its a shock tactic rather than a force tactic.

I think people think of 'slapping' and think of the extreme uncontrolled abuser type of scenario.
While this exists for a minute fraction of a percentage, I would expect the majority can controll themselves.
No one would tell me what I can / cannot do to control my kids.

Looking at society, you see the lack of parenting skills that are to be witnessed every night around the estates/houses up and down the country.

[pintsofguinness]

I rely on personal experience from my own childhood in figuring out the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty. For me it was always preferable to get a slap than to be given some long drawn-out punishment like detention or lines in school or some form of privilege deprivation at home. For one thing, the slap always seemed to me a human response and was the best lesson of all in the effects of pushing people beyond their limits. Whereas the premeditated deprivation or enforcement type punishments always seemed to me peevish, bad minded and cruel.

That's an excellent point and I hadn't thought of it like that until now.  I would have always got a slap/clip around the ear at home but as I got older of course that stopped and I'd be roared and shouted at followed by the silent treatment - that was always worse - I'd rather a slap and be done with it! 


To those who don't believe in slapping, what forms of punishment would you advocate? 

[Aerlik]

I use to argue that point too until my brother and sister started to have children and seen that was only true for some children.

When I first read that Pint, I had images of banjo-playing wanes staring down from a tree-hut, near a babbling brook in a mountain range somewhere in country Ireland. Phew.

I got a wallop (actually many wallops) from my ma.  My da never touched me, he just spoke/growled/roared and the point was made.  Mam punished but never injured me.  Mini-me is a great wane.  He does overstep the line and on a couple of occasions I have smacked his arse and the back of his hand.  But he is 6 now and knows right from wrong.  And when he makes a genuine mistake I take time to explain to him that it was a mistake and that he has done nothing wrong and that I love him.    I suppose his mother and I have been lucky as there are wanes at his school that need their arses warmed.

[deiseach]

Deiseach mentions the number of people who have seethed throughout their lives at unjust physical punishments. I must say that's not my experience at all and most take the rough with the smooth, balancing all the times we got away with stuff against the times we were framed. Apart, that is, from the Frank McCourt ilk who have made a living from the misery industry.

I'm not saying these people are scarred by the experience or anything so dramatic. Just that everyone I have spoken to who has had experience of corporal punishment can point to someone who was totally unfit to be given such responsibility. And that's why the responsibility was (correctly, in my opinion) removed from their profession

[Snowed Under]

No you are just advocating physical violence on a helpless toddler - in other words you are bullying someone weaker than yourself; not that that surprises me.

Whereas allowing a child to do what they want is a sign of love?

No but teaching a child from the very early stages with patience and love will negate the need for him/her to act up for attention as all kids need and crave it.  Just hitting them a slap when you can't be arsed or they are annoying you is a cowardly and abusive act.

[Gnevin]

I rely on personal experience from my own childhood in figuring out the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty. For me it was always preferable to get a slap than to be given some long drawn-out punishment like detention or lines in school or some form of privilege deprivation at home. For one thing, the slap always seemed to me a human response and was the best lesson of all in the effects of pushing people beyond their limits. Whereas the premeditated deprivation or enforcement type punishments always seemed to me peevish, bad minded and cruel.

Deiseach mentions the number of people who have seethed throughout their lives at unjust physical punishments. I must say that's not my experience at all and most take the rough with the smooth, balancing all the times we got away with stuff against the times we were framed. Apart, that is, from the Frank McCourt ilk who have made a living from the misery industry.

Of course this norm of behaviour in the Meath of my youth may be what has turned us into the psychopathic assassins that the rest of the country recognises.

How is a smack the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty for you when you go on to admit it meant nothing to you but a momentary pain. Where as it seems the other forms of punishment made you think as you wanted to avoid them?

[Gnevin]

I rely on personal experience from my own childhood in figuring out the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty. For me it was always preferable to get a slap than to be given some long drawn-out punishment like detention or lines in school or some form of privilege deprivation at home. For one thing, the slap always seemed to me a human response and was the best lesson of all in the effects of pushing people beyond their limits. Whereas the premeditated deprivation or enforcement type punishments always seemed to me peevish, bad minded and cruel.

That's an excellent point and I hadn't thought of it like that until now.  I would have always got a slap/clip around the ear at home but as I got older of course that stopped and I'd be roared and shouted at followed by the silent treatment - that was always worse - I'd rather a slap and be done with it! 


To those who don't believe in slapping, what forms of punishment would you advocate? 

10 minutes is a long time for a young child to think about that they did. Sitting in the corner always seems to work for me , if the behaviour isn't that bad just more annoying , ignoring it works wonders as espically if their are other kids around and they carry on playing.
As i've said no expert here just whats worked for me

[pintsofguinness]

No you are just advocating physical violence on a helpless toddler - in other words you are bullying someone weaker than yourself; not that that surprises me.

Whereas allowing a child to do what they want is a sign of love?

No but teaching a child from the very early stages with patience and love will negate the need for him/her to act up for attention as all kids need and crave it.  Just hitting them a slap when you can't be arsed or they are annoying you is a cowardly and abusive act.

That's all well and good but some children don't take a blind bit of notice to what is said to them. 

You didn't answer my question - what forms of punishment do you advocate?

How is a smack the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty for you when you go on to admit it meant nothing to you but a momentary pain. Where as it seems the other forms of punishment made you think as you wanted to avoid them?

IMO Becasue you'd know not to do it again as you didn't want the slap.  It's the long drawn out punishments that cause unnecessary misery.
Ignoring must have been what the mother on the plane was doing!
I've a nephew whos four and you'd have some hope of getting him to sit in a corner for 10 minutes to think about what he done!