The Irish Question - Solution

[Olly]

I have been giving this serious thought over the last few days and I think I have a solution that'll end over 2000 years of conflict.

So I started at what makes people angry about politics and war in Ireland. I did this by primary research. I decided to walk down a road with loads of loyalist and royal parafenalia. Well, I felt like torching the houses that had them. So, no flags should be on show at any time. I'm sure there are good Protestants who go clean mad when they are driving through Burren and see Down flags or tricolours in Dunloy. Get rid of all of them and prosecute anyone who hangs anything out of their windows.

Secondly, get rid of religion completely. It needs to be destroyed in Ireland. I, when walking down the loyalist road, saw a Church with no crucifix on it and i wanted to bomb it there and then and I'm not even religious. Get rid of all religions and religious leaders. But these people into the dole and get them retrained say as therapists of public speakers. Use the religious building as homes for the homeless, alcoholics etc. Or even do markets in them. To be honest this needs more thinking as Armagh catherdral would be wrecked if you allowed alcoholis drinking buckfast into it at the same time as a market.

Thirdly, just tell everyone to start again. No religion, no loyalties, no nothing. It's not even Ireland anymore. Don't even call it that. Change the flag or maybe have no flag at all. Maybe call it Peaceland and for football matches the national team could wear dove costumes or strips, all white. No emblem or maybe a dove or scales. No one has any history, no background. There is no culture or language. Make up a new language etc and different types of dancing or singing styles. Call the new language Peacish and say use xylophones etc as a national instrument. Gays and lesbians are to be regarded as normal. All colours are allowed too.

This will take a lot of work but if we all pull together it can work.

Does anyone have a better solution? Thousands of years is too long for fighting about flags and whodunit.

[under the bar]

I have been giving this serious thought over the last few days and I think I have a solution that'll end over 2000 years of conflict.

It's all the fault of the Judean People's Front!

[Hardy]

Olly, sometimes you make sense, whether you mean to or not.

[118cmal]

I have been giving this serious thought over the last few days and I think I have a solution that'll end over 2000 years of conflict.

So I started at what makes people angry about politics and war in Ireland. I did this by primary research. I decided to walk down a road with loads of loyalist and royal parafenalia. Well, I felt like torching the houses that had them. So, no flags should be on show at any time. I'm sure there are good Protestants who go clean mad when they are driving through Burren and see Down flags or tricolours in Dunloy. Get rid of all of them and prosecute anyone who hangs anything out of their windows.

Secondly, get rid of religion completely. It needs to be destroyed in Ireland. I, when walking down the loyalist road, saw a Church with no crucifix on it and i wanted to bomb it there and then and I'm not even religious. Get rid of all religions and religious leaders. But these people into the dole and get them retrained say as therapists of public speakers. Use the religious building as homes for the homeless, alcoholics etc. Or even do markets in them. To be honest this needs more thinking as Armagh catherdral would be wrecked if you allowed alcoholis drinking buckfast into it at the same time as a market.

Thirdly, just tell everyone to start again. No religion, no loyalties, no nothing. It's not even Ireland anymore. Don't even call it that. Change the flag or maybe have no flag at all. Maybe call it Peaceland and for football matches the national team could wear dove costumes or strips, all white. No emblem or maybe a dove or scales. No one has any history, no background. There is no culture or language. Make up a new language etc and different types of dancing or singing styles. Call the new language Peacish and say use xylophones etc as a national instrument. Gays and lesbians are to be regarded as normal. All colours are allowed too.

This will take a lot of work but if we all pull together it can work.

Does anyone have a better solution? Thousands of years is too long for fighting about flags and whodunit.

[Nally Stand]

Peaceland 

Don't say it too loud or it will be appearing in Alliance and Stoop manifestos at the next elections! Reminds me of Fergal McKinney's interview on the Politics Show during the british general election... "we want to move forward, a shared future, with our arms around unionism, holding hands together"

[Banana Man]

wow wow wow, did mckinney actually say that! He would be perfect for a 6 county version of the office with him as david brent, that is priceless!!!!

[Nally Stand]

not a direct quote but was something very similar and the same phrases were used! Stomach churning shite!!

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

I have been giving this serious thought over the last few days and I think I have a solution that'll end over 2000 years of conflict.

Just throw in a random time period why not.