Depression

Started by Eamonnca1, October 25, 2013, 09:11:55 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

changed my name

Thanks very much for the responses i really appreciate it.

I do feel a bit stupid at times and try to consistently live by the mantra "there are so many worse of than me etc etc". Sometimes that helps slightly and other times it just doesnt even come close to helping.
I would generally always have been a happy enough person and whatever life put in front of me i dealt with and moved on and at all times tried to keep a smile on my face. I dont know what exactly has triggered this but it is tough going and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. Its getting to the stage now that everyone i meet im envious of as they seem normal and id give anything to have some normality and peace in my head.

In a way i hate writing this as i honestly dont know if im depressed or just going through a bad patch (if it is a bad patch then its as bad as it gets in my head). Its like an intense sadness and crying constantly. Sitting at work now trying to keep going cos what else can i do? Am not particularly keen on going to GP as i would prefer not to be put onto any medication/ antidepressants etc.
I suppose its something i keep hoping will pass itself and that i will bring myself through it.

Its nice to be able to talk to people on here as i have noone else i will talk to about it.

Thanks for the replies

Asal Mor

Changed my name - Hope you are able to speak to someone. If you could tell anyone it might be a big help. Also, I don't know if you'd feel up to it but I found running to be a great help, even just running for 20 minutes could change my mood for the better. I understand the urge to stay in bed and hide away, but it will just make things worse and forcing yourself to do some exercise will help. I don't mean to be firing advice at you, just speaking from my own experience. I wish you all the best anyway and fair play to you for sharing.

God14

Changed my name  - if getting it off your chest, in an secure anonymous way like this helped in anyway then its a good thing & to be commended. I think that's what this thread was started for, to share experiences and helpful hints & pointers also. Ive been following the thread since it went up regularly.

I don't suffer from depression thankfully, but id slipped into an awful rut this past 3 or 4 years of heavy drinking at weekends. Itd start with a mildish session on a Friday after work. Pure over indulgence all day Saturday & the cure watching football on a Sunday in the pub.
On a Monday & often even into Tuesday id be fragile as hell. Dark moods. Unable to sleep properly. Constantly questioning myself, going over silly mistakes id made maybe 10 years previous. My mind seemed to focus on all the negative aspects of myself, mistakes id made. Id be questioning where I was going in my life, career, relationships you name it. Going over in my head a random argument with someone id had yonks back. Generally feeling so low & down in the dumps. Feeling vulnerable as well.
Im so lucky that by Wednesday itd be over, but unfortunately come Friday evening the cycle would start again.

Since this thread has gone up, its really made me think about my drinking & the impact it has on me mentally. Ive challenged myself to tackle it, and for the past 3 weekends now ive restricted my drinking to a 6 pints on a Saturday night. I feel so much the better for it.

Hardy


DennistheMenace

Quote from: God14 on November 18, 2013, 12:07:53 PM
Since this thread has gone up, its really made me think about my drinking & the impact it has on me mentally. Ive challenged myself to tackle it, and for the past 3 weekends now ive restricted my drinking to a 6 pints on a Saturday night. I feel so much the better for it.

This part stands out for me and is something I can relate to. Drinking is many peoples trigger, as is the dark winter nights. I find running a great release.

SLIGONIAN

First of all I hope people post publically on here with replies rather than pming and I'll tell you why, there are people reading this thread that wont post for whatever reason and may need some help and your post in reply to the above could have that little nugget of advice for them enough to turn the tide. It helps me post on this thread if im honest.

Changed my name, You're the opposite of a coward btw, its doenst matter a jot whether you post anonymously or not, you had the balls to post your story, simple as that. It matters to everyone what others think of them, we all compare to others lives and we all want to be liked. This is your ego and everyone has one. Your not alone, far from it. The general consensus I get from the above is your having difficulties accepting aspects of yourself and your external life situations. You seem to have gone to war within. These reactions are getting stronger and stronger because your becoming more aware. This is again an awakening story which always painful as we let go of the old and allow the new. When your crying at night this is actually a good thing, letting it all go physically, let it happen, accept it all. This is life passing through you. Allow yourself to feel all of this, your ego wants to you to be asleep so its in charge, your fighting back I can see that but you have to make it your allie not your foe, allow and acknowledge everything. The funny thing is you already have, you just don't know it yet or else it wouldn't be already happening.

It is absolutely no point in praying to GOD to go back to Normal, how do you know you were normal before, (is it normal because society/tv tells you it is) he is giving you an opportunity to wake up to life. What you mean by normal is want to go back to sleep and live within the prison of unconscious behauvioural patterns like most on this planet. You can heal all of that now by accepting everything that comes up and taking it as far as you can.

Here is the cycle your going through, a negative thought/feeling/situation crops up , you go f**k off to the negative thought/feeling/situation, then more negative thoughts/feelings/situations crop and they get stronger and stronger until you finally do something, this comes in the form of telling someone like you have done here, or go for a run etc...too much pain, now here is the trick if when that next negative thought/feeling/situation crops up, accept it, and by accept I mean want it, and instead of releasing adrelanine which is stress, wanting it will release endorphins, and the trick when you get what you want you are happy and when you are happy you release endorphins, its breaks the cycle of negativity and stops you chasing your own tail. I know you are only pretending to want it but it works, Try it next time you have a negative thought, say I want this mentally to yourself, it will pass a lot quicker trust me because you stop the rot and start allowing instead of resisting. There is actually nothing wrong with negative thoughts, the only problem here is your reaction to them. Allow yourself to compare and allow yourself to be jealous, let it flow through you in that moment, in time these will pass a lot quicker and in time you start to notice the positive thoughts a lot more, you've come out of that programming of noticing the negative only.

Life is also turning your attention to the present moment aswell, that's why seeing no future which is actually a good thing believe it or not, primary focus on now (this is what the pain is showing you) but have goals or plans as secondary. Your inner voice is quite negative at the minute so you've told yourself the story of your family and friends reactions will be negative, maybe your wrong?.

I know a lot of folk don't like to accept and allow negativity, and you may get angry reading the above, but sometime whenever in the future you may just decide to turn and face, allow and accept(want) and then you'll notice jees where did that negative thought go, where did that panic go, and then you'll know it works, and just let stuff pass through, rather than holding on,  see how changing your reactions changes your life and your relationship may become easier .

I am speaking from experience above but may not have articulated well enough, its hard to explain, apologies but i hope you get the jist of what i say. I suppose i hope other can realise it for themselves and pass through there own stuff.

Good luck
"hard work will always beat talent if talent doesn't work"

orangeman

Martin Breheny– 28 November 2013

THE GAA could play a significant role in reducing suicide among young people, while also improving general mental health, according to a leading expert in sports psychology.

Dr Tadhg MacIntyre, lecturer in sport, exercise and performance psychology at University of Limerick, believes that the GAA is uniquely placed to confront an issue which is becoming increasingly problematic in Irish life.

"The GAA, with its huge nationwide community presence, could provide psychological training in resilience, optimism and social support of young players," he said.

"There is no better organisation on the planet than the GAA for reaching into the heart of the community. It has a presence in every village, which is the ideal starting point for this type of initiative."

Much of the interaction would take place online, but workshops would also be held, involving players, coaches, parents and other interested parties.

"This would help change the landscape," he continued. "As the greatest sporting body on this island, the GAA has the capacity to drive this change. It would set the Association apart from other sports for decades.

"Potentially, it could reduce adolescent suicide and enhance the positive mental health of thousands of people."

MacIntyre believes that providing preventative mental health care is crucial at a time when there's evidence that depression and other associated problems are on the increase.

"The capacity is there to use the GAA engine to promote a positive mental health programme," he said.

MacIntyre has been outspoken in the past about the quality of some of the advice being provided for sportspeople, especially in the GAA where the use of psychology and motivation techniques has increased dramatically in recent years.

He expressed concerns that some players could be getting the wrong advice, which carries serious risks.

"Mind coaches, performance architects, motivational coaches -- all these terms reduce the mental side of sport to something that equates with 'mental fitness' and a naive focus on performance enhancement," he said.

"Some of those coaches are former players or coaches with experience and possible insights but not necessarily with expertise. There are risks there."


The big fear is that the relentless drive for success leads to a focus on winning and which doesn't allow for anything else.

CHANGE

"Psychological support in sport has the capacity to change, but that change can be both positive and negative. Without specialist training and without a holistic focus, it can be a train wreck.

"Most of the recent cases of depression highlighted in the media (rugby and GAA) had mental coaches working with the teams. Could they not have recognised the symptoms among the people involved and referred them to appropriate personnel?"

MacIntyre believes that, in some cases, psychology is being used solely as an aid to boost the prospects of winning, which can leave residual damage.

"What we need is a recognition that psychology in sport is not simply about readiness to perform (in effect to win), but about understanding that each person is an individual, not just an athlete," he said.

"Psychological support should be a preventative system that enhances the resilience and coping strategies of the performers and indeed the coaches too."

He has concerns that the labelling of teams and/or individuals can be damaging. Winners are deemed to have got everything right, whereas losers are made to feel as if they are mentally weak, even when that's not the case.

That easy classification can have a negative impact on individuals if their identity is so wrapped up in sporting achievement that they regard themselves as failures when don't reach their goals, even when there are perfectly logical reasons why that happened.

"Are we trying too hard to exploit the mental advantage rather that look after our players?" he asked. "There is a fundamental challenge about labelling people 'winners' and 'losers'. It's never that simple but much modern-day commentary tend to treat it those simple terms."

The use of sports psychology has become a major growth industry in football and hurling over the last decade. And while many of the practitioners are excellent, MacIntyre has in the past expressed fears that it's an area which is open to exploitation.

"There's a real risk if the wrong person is being used. You won't let a physio go near your hamstring unless he or she is properly qualified. It should be the same with psychology. You shouldn't let anyone near your internal world unless you really trust them," he said.

His call on the GAA to use its vast club network to provide psychological training broadens a subject that has had attracted lots of attention in recent times.

"The GAA is the ideal organisation to lead the way on this issue," he said. "It remains one of the great pillars in Irish life, reaching into every town and village in the country. That puts it in a unique position to play a major role in such an important aspect as mental health."

muppet

Just read this and given the post-Christmas blues, the weather etc I thought it was worth posting.

http://thereispowerinspeakingout.blogspot.ie

Monday, January 6, 2014

So here goes nothing....

In June 2011, I walked out of hospital after a suicide attempt and I haven't looked back.
I still remember how that day looked.
It was a beautiful June afternoon, the sun belted down on my mam's car and I took one final look at St John of God's in Stillorgan, Co Dublin - a place which had become my home for over a month.
That was a week before my 22nd birthday.
I walked back into college with my head held high, spent two more years working on my journalism degree and strutted out with one of the highest marks handed out that year.
Less than a week after finishing my studies and I was working for a national newspaper.
For the first time in my life I felt proud of myself, I was successful.
Fast forward nearly 19 months and here I am contemplating taking my own life again.
I don't know how I got here but here I am.
I have everything anyone could ask for - great friends, a wonderfully supportive family, the respect of this industry I'm in, a penthouse apartment in Dun Laoghaire, iPad, iPhone, new car and and what should look like a bright future.
But I can't see that - all I can feel is how sweet and peaceful death would be right now.
The balcony 10 feet behind me seems more tempting than taking a shower in the morning, than walking into work with an exclusive under my arm or texting the girl I'm currently seeing.
My role in life has always been to make others feel happy. I'm the joker, the friend, the pal who'd never see you stuck.
I'm that sad clown, a cliche wrapped in another f**king cliche, sitting in a living room typing in the dark.
I never thought my mental health was that bad - even when I was placed in a locked ward as psych staff took my belt, shoe strings and lighter.
Even the cold thud of a dead lock clicking into place as I watched my family tearfully walking out of my hospital room couldn't open my eyes to the reality.
But there it was in all its painful glory.
When friends came to visit me I would smile and crack a joke pretending to be oblivious to the fact I was surrounded by some of the sickest people I had ever met - and I was one of them.
It would be months later that my friends told me I was speaking complete gibberish to them.
It was only then that I copped something wasn't really right.
In a strange way, it validated me. I was confused as to why I was put in that hospital. I knew deep down there was something seriously wrong with me but I couldn't accept it.
But back to the now.
I'm writing this as someone who is ill. I'm not looking for sympathy, it's just something which needs to be out there, that it's ok to tell the world you're not ok.
I'm not going to work tomorrow, I'm going to see a counsellor. I'm going to beat this little p***k in my head who's trying to tell me I'm not good enough.
There will be many of you out there who don't understand how it feels to go through something like this.
That's not to sound high and mighty or what not, it is what it is.
But then again there are those who will know exactly the excruciating pain I'm feeling right now.
There's one way I can think of explaining it.
Imagine having a negative thought about yourself, be it your appearance, intelligence, whatever.
Now imagine it sticking with you all through the day pounding you every chance it gets. It's relentless in its ferocity, its cruelty.
You can't think of anything else.
It tells you you're worthless, it mocks every positive thought you try and retaliate with, it shoots down any thought of getting better.
And you can't get rid of it.
So, in my case, I drank. I drank to try and rid myself of the constant waves of negativity crashing over me, washing out the good of the day.
But then that will stop working and you'll be left drunk and alone, hating yourself even more.
The day I tried to kill myself in April 2011, I found myself in the corner of my room with a bottle of whiskey balling my eyes out.
I began drinking socially again after six months off it. I drank not because I wanted to forget but because I enjoyed it.
But now I'm doing it for the same old reasons. The most important thing is that I've caught it in time.
The recent Donal Walsh documentary on RTE opened people up to talking about mental health.
Here was a terminally ill young man telling people to cop on and not take your own life.
To be honest, it infuriated me.
Suicidal ideation, to many, is a terminal illness and something which can't be fought with medication.
If you're set on taking your life, then you're going to do it.
But there are support structures out there designed to pull you from the brink
It's in no way black and white.
You don't see how much you're loved, you don't see the pain and hardship it would cause your family.
Even now I'm racked with guilt over my own attempt. My mum is a shell of the woman she was, constantly worrying about me.
My sister thinks I'm too ill to live a regular life and my friends are now texting me after a night out telling me 'to ring when I get in'.
Everybody's worried about me - and I guess they're right to.
The stigma of mental health in Irish society may be loosening its grip, but the guilt of having tried it will always remain.
I don't want to be known as  'that guy who tried to kill himself'.
In fact I'm that funny, intelligent and caring guy who actually wants to know how you're doing.
There's a part me that wants to just delete this entire message and go to work tomorrow and pretend everything is ok.
But I'm sick of living a half life, one that's just going to knock me on my arse as I try and plough ahead.
So this is a moment for me to take stock, lay a solid foundation, take a breather and then move forward once again.
This is not a cry for help, it's more of a success story. I've spotted the danger signs and I'm fighting back.
I'm not going to let this darkness define me and let it win.
I'm stronger than that.
So for anyone out there who's thinking similar things, I'm pleading with you to tell someone; family, friends, the Samaritans.
This is because I'm one of the lucky ones, I've survived suicide.
You only get one go around.
To be honest, I'm feeling a hell of a lot better after writing this.
Take her handy,
Garreth MacNamee
MWWSI 2017

orangeman

Fair play Gareth.


It takes guts to write down that sort of stuff.



orangeman

Ian Thorpe - most would have thought he had it all but not so :



Five-time Olympic swimming gold medallist Ian Thorpe is in rehab after being found disoriented in the street by police in the early hours of today.


Thorpe was affected by a combination of antidepressants and the painkillers he was taking for a shoulder injury, according to his manager James Erskine.

Police spoke to Thorpe after residents near his parents' home in Panania in Sydney's south west reported a man allegedly breaking into a van. He was taken to Sydney's Bankstown Hospital for assessment and was later transferred to a rehab facility.

Mr Erskine said: "He is in rehab for depression."

He said Thorpe thought he was sitting in his friend's car.

"The owner of the car basically called the police and the police came," he said. "They realised it was Ian Thorpe. They realised he was disoriented."

Mr Erskine said Thorpe, 31, had been taking antidepressants and medication for his shoulder but had not been drinking alcohol.

"He hadn't had a drink," he said. "He had zero alcohol in him."

Police said no official complaint has been made and no further police action is anticipated.

Thorpe, who lives in Switzerland, has been staying with his parents over Christmas.

Mr Erskine's admission that Thorpe is in rehab comes only days after his management company denied reports that he checked into a rehab facility while fighting depression and alcohol abuse.

In his autobiography, published last year, Thorpe said "not even my family is aware that I've spent a lot of my life battling what I can only describe as crippling depression".



muppet

Bumping this thread given the weather, time of year etc.......

Be well all.
MWWSI 2017

Tony Baloney

Quote from: muppet on February 14, 2014, 11:28:42 PM
Bumping this thread given the weather, time of year etc.......

Be well all.
You alright muppet?  ;)

muppet

Quote from: Tony Baloney on February 14, 2014, 11:36:21 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 14, 2014, 11:28:42 PM
Bumping this thread given the weather, time of year etc.......

Be well all.
You alright muppet?  ;)

Sound Tony.

Getting nervous for tomorrow but that's for other threads.

MWWSI 2017