Great Phrases

[Quagmire]

"I've a horn on me that would bate donkeys out of a ditch!"

[SidelineKick]

"Enter it with your hand and bate it in with your hole"

[Tyrones own]

"2 pound a shite in a pound bag"... for a lady of the larger kind dressed rather scantily.

[DoYerJob Linesman]

Fella rings into our work one day and says he cant come in cos he's sick.

Boss asks him "Well how sick are you?"

His unforgettable reply...

"I'm brave and sick... I'm in bed with my sister..."

Close to wind but I thought it was a cracker!  Needless to say the boss asked no more questions.

For my money thats the funniest thing i've read on gaaboard.   

[hitzelsperger]

for a big woman/ man

'more chins than a chinese phone book'

[Tyrones own]

"If it Flies, Fcuks Or Floats... it's better rented"

[Quagmire]

Watching a match in the pub - lad shouts to a fella at the front "would ye sit at peace; your up and down like a whore's draws!"

I heard the boul Gordon Ramsey adapt that line for Rebecca Loos in an episode of Kitchen nightmares one night. Such an abrasive chap.....

[SLIGONIAN]

2 phrases i heard at games recently....about shite team and player,

"There are about as useful as shredders footsoldiers"

"hes about as useful as a monkey f**king a football"

[Lothos]

It's my first post so go easy please

"Daz wouldn't shift her"

"I wouldn't ride her with your C**k"

"Sweatin like a paedophile in a Barney suit"

"she's a face like a bag of busted hammers"

[SLIGONIAN]

It's my first post so go easy please

"Daz wouldn't shift her"

"I wouldn't ride her with your C**k"

"Sweatin like a paedophile in a Barney suit"

"she's a face like a bag of busted hammers"

[longball]

when a footballer is constanlty transferring away ie Defoe or Diarra
' hes had more clubs than tiger woods'

on someone who can drink none (c-Berg316):
' couldnt drink Ballygowan on a hot summers day'

[longball]

On someone who is rather relaxed about work (DD12, Blewuporstuffed, C-Berg316)

' He wouldnt work on batteries'

[Lothos]

"if I'd a bag of bruised d*%ks I wouldn't give her one"

[downgirl]

She'd do for a poke if the telly's broke

As popular as nuns in the Playboy Mansion

Angrier than a bear with a sore head

[laceer]

I'm that hungry i'd eat a gypsies toenail