What's your relationship with alcohol?

[Boycey]

Always had a healthy life, ran swam and cycled regularly.
Laughed and reached out to all my friends who had the need emotionally(was basically the go to guy!)..however in recent times it's all gone Pete Tong.
My wife is having some personal issues and my eldest child is causing some serious problems.
So to relate to the thread in question I've started drinking fairly regularly at home to escape all this shit which is crumbling me very slowly indeed. I'm far from happy in my life. That's a shit thing to say as any outsider who looks in would probably say I have it all. I'm sorry for ranting a bit but it's just how I feel. I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm scared

Bar the healthy bit my experience is the mirror opposite of you, my other half has had medical issues and our lad has had major issues over the last few years with school, add to that an unhealthy work environment for myself has pushed me away from drink rather than towards it, I'd say I'm afraid to drink. I find it only takes the annoyances away for so long and brings them back in the morning twice as bad...



If your scared you need to talk to someone.

[whitey]

Always had a healthy life, ran swam and cycled regularly.
Laughed and reached out to all my friends who had the need emotionally(was basically the go to guy!)..however in recent times it's all gone Pete Tong.
My wife is having some personal issues and my eldest child is causing some serious problems.
So to relate to the thread in question I've started drinking fairly regularly at home to escape all this shit which is crumbling me very slowly indeed. I'm far from happy in my life. That's a shit thing to say as any outsider who looks in would probably say I have it all. I'm sorry for ranting a bit but it's just how I feel. I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm scared

Get every drop of alcohol in the house and pour it down the sink....tonight (and dont let another drop inside the door).

Reach out to a friend, a priest or someone who can get you to an AA meeting TOMORROW

As bad as things are, it can and will get a heck of a lot worse if you dont seek help

[Eamonnca1]

Always had a healthy life, ran swam and cycled regularly.
Laughed and reached out to all my friends who had the need emotionally(was basically the go to guy!)..however in recent times it's all gone Pete Tong.
My wife is having some personal issues and my eldest child is causing some serious problems.
So to relate to the thread in question I've started drinking fairly regularly at home to escape all this shit which is crumbling me very slowly indeed. I'm far from happy in my life. That's a shit thing to say as any outsider who looks in would probably say I have it all. I'm sorry for ranting a bit but it's just how I feel. I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm scared

Get every drop of alcohol in the house and pour it down the sink....tonight (and dont let another drop inside the door).

Reach out to a friend, a priest or someone who can get you to an AA meeting TOMORROW

As bad as things are, it can and will get a heck of a lot worse if you dont seek help

Could not agree more. Some people think alcohol will cheer them up when they're having mental health problems, but it has precisely the opposite effect. Alcohol is a depressant.

Spoofer, you need to seek help from your health service. Right now. Mental health is as important as physical health, and the medical profession will treat it accordingly. Nobody will think less of you.

[easytiger95]

Tremendous thread lads. Reminds me of why I started posting here in the first place.

From the time I was 15, I liked a pint. Loved the social aspect of it, definitely picked that up from my Dad. There wasn't a lot of drink taken in the house, but he was out at the pub a lot.

Drink made me feel invincible as a young fella - couple that with being a bit (a lot ) of a smart arse and having a quick enough temper, made sure I got into a fair amount of scrapes. Thank the Lord Jaysis I was completely crap at fighting (the thought of putting my fist in someone elses face always made me queasy) so the only person ever hurt was me.

I prided myself on holding my drink, never getting sick, never slurring, always being the one to speak to the bouncers to get us in. It was only the following evenings when someone would rock up and say they were chatting to me the night before, with no memory from me, that I would realise I had blacked out. Lights on, but no one home. Again, thank God I got myself home safely (mostly!) most nights.

I would never have thought of myself as having a problem. Sure couldn't I drink more than most of my friends? This continued into my early twenties, when two things happened.

Firstly, I got badly assaulted in Liverpool whilst I was over at a Premier League match. Some gombeen came over to me and my buddies in a pub the night before and threatened us because one of the lads had apparently been chatting to yer man's girlfriend. We told him to get lost, but to save ourselves some hassle, we left and headed back to the hotel. He followed us and ten minutes later, when I stopped to tie my lace, he smacked me in the back of the head. Never saw him or his fist coming. Anyway, he fractured my skull. I was laid up for a couple of weeks after going home.

You get a lot of time to reflect in a hospital bed. Was I in the wrong for what happened? According to my friends and witnesses and the police, no. But would I have been able to have been jumped like that if I hadn't had a skinful of pints and vodka and red bull? And why was I drinking so much at any one time? Where was the enjoyment if I couldn't even remember it?

Secondly, after I recovered, I went into a new career, in sports television. I was completely energised by the work which made a big difference to me. I was working weekends, which made big nights on Friday and Saturdays a thing of the past. But I definitely reduced my intake and started to enjoy the nights out that I actually did have, more.

I've gone through loads since, as we all have. A sick child, a marriage ending, navigating a new life and a new relationship, various ups and downs in my career. But I am so lucky that when all those things did happen, I had already come to a reckoning of sorts with alcohol in my mid twenties, so that it didn't seem to be an option or a crutch when I needed one.

I still drink and enjoy my drink. But the reason I enjoy it is because it is a by-product of seeing friends and family rather than the other way round. I can drink far less now - I'd get a hangover looking at a short, let alone drinking one. But given that all of my buddies have families and kids, the odd night we do get out, we really enjoy it - but we're in a taxi home at closing rather than into McGowans as used to be the way.

I have a detached relationship with alcohol now- I don't count the times I drink because it is not often enough to worry about. I keep some in the house to offer guests, but it would be very rare that I would drink at home - maybe a couple of glasses of wine on a summer night out the back after dinner.

I am very lucky and know myself enough to know that things could have very easily gone a different way. Good luck to everyone who shared on this thread - I hope you all find a way to come to some peace with it.

[BennyCake]

"Why was I drinking so much at any one time"... Something easytiger said.

I'm not a drinking man so I don't know. But why drink to get into such a state where you don't even know where you are or what you're doing. Do people not have a few then say, ok that's enough I'll dtink a few lemonades now. Still have the craic and be able to get home and know where I am and what I'm doing. And still land home to the family in a decent state.

Also, same logic applied to drinking and driving. People moan about they can't have a few drinks and not drive home. What about having your pint then stay on in the pub withh a few lemonades.

Maybe a drinking man could give me their opinion

[Eamonnca1]

"Why was I drinking so much at any one time"... Something easytiger said.

I'm not a drinking man so I don't know. But why drink to get into such a state where you don't even know where you are or what you're doing. Do people not have a few then say, ok that's enough I'll dtink a few lemonades now. Still have the craic and be able to get home and know where I am and what I'm doing. And still land home to the family in a decent state.

Also, same logic applied to drinking and driving. People moan about they can't have a few drinks and not drive home. What about having your pint then stay on in the pub withh a few lemonades.

Maybe a drinking man could give me their opinion

That's more or less my system. One drink, possibly a second, but after that it's sparkling water for me.

One of the things that probably makes it hard for people is peer pressure. I've told this story before on here so sorry for the repetition, but I've been known to have lads see me taking a drink and then standing up another for me when the next round comes around. I had to tell them to count me out of the rounds but they wouldn't take no for an answer and they put another drink on the bar for me even though I categorically told them I didn't want it. I just left it sitting there.

Then there's the times when someone insists on buying a drink.

Him: "What do you want?"
Me: "Soda water."
Him (dumbfounded): "What?! I'm not asking for a soda water! What do you want?"

It's almost like people have no qualms about going up and ordering half a dozen pints of beer but would be mortified if one of their six drinks is a non-alcoholic one. Seems to threaten their sense of manhood, or something. I've even had barmen say "for f***'s sake" when I've ordered water at the bar in a nightclub after dancing and working up a thirst. I used to wonder if they got paid less for serving water or something, always seemed like a bit of an over-reaction.

The moral of the story is, when someone says they don't want an alcoholic drink, just respect their wish and don't try to force them to take something they don't want. If you see your mates trying to brow-beat someone into having one more drink, tell them to cut it out.

[From the Bunker]

To add to that - I've often been out for pints bought my round. A new round starts up. I'm asked what am i drinking. I say ''I'm finished''. Friend walks away and comes back with a pint in the round for me. I look at him disgusted and tell him I told him not to get me one.

The reality is although I told him not to get me a pint. He is afraid that he will look tight if he leaves me out of the round. And it is easier to waste the money on a pint that will be left there going flat on the table.

I know people who would see me as tight for leaving myself out of a round! Mad!

[Champion The Wonder Horse]

99% of men drink less than you.

www.drinkaware.co.uk

[screenexile]

To add to that - I've often been out for pints bought my round. A new round starts up. I'm asked what am i drinking. I say ''I'm finished''. Friend walks away and comes back with a pint in the round for me. I look at him disgusted and tell him I told him not to get me one.

The reality is although I told him not to get me a pint. He is afraid that he will look tight if he leaves me out of the round. And it is easier to waste the money on a pint that will be left there going flat on the table.

I know people who would see me as tight for leaving myself out of a round! Mad!

I agree with that!! This nonsense of being tight just because you won't go in rounds with some **** who's looking to drink 12 pints and you only out for a few quiet ones!! Does my head in!

[Insane Bolt]

Rounds aren't a great thing as it can put pressure on people to drink more than they would normally do. I don't know if it is just an Irish thing as in many other countries people just buy their own.....which is more sensible really.

[seafoid]

Rounds aren't a great thing as it can put pressure on people to drink more than they would normally do. I don't know if it is just an Irish thing as in many other countries people just buy their own.....which is more sensible really.

Rounds are a waste of money.
Plus the nonsense if you are in a group of 4 or having either 4, 8 or 12 pints
Probably 20% or so of rounds bought end up as slops

[johnnycool]

Rounds aren't a great thing as it can put pressure on people to drink more than they would normally do. I don't know if it is just an Irish thing as in many other countries people just buy their own.....which is more sensible really.

The odd night I've went out with a few lads they can't fathom me sitting out a round when I'm drinking red wine and they're on the pints.
If a glass does appear even after I told them not to it sits there till I'm good and ready and I'll miss out then next round or whatever. I'd be a mess otherwise.

It can be easy for lads to drink at a rate they're not comfortable with especially if there's a beer monster in the group.

[pbat]

I close friend of mine had a 30 years battle with the booze, like myself. He married late in life (mid 40's) but was still on the sauce very heavily. He had 2 kids in quick succession but never stopped him. It wasn't till the wife tossed him out and he was sleeping rough for a while that he got stopped.

That's about 5 years ago, he is back living at home. Relationship is going from strength to strength and he is a great father. Also he never looked better. And I have to admit I am very proud of him and jealous also.

But I get really angry when down the local and his name comes up. His so called mates are he's a bollacks, what did he ever really drink, its all the wife's problem she knew what she married, why not let him have a couple of pints.

I had many a good session with him, I do missed the odd day on the lash with him but am glad he is where he is in his life and hopes that comes to me someday.

I am an alcoholic but unfortunately I feel it is misunderstood by so many. I have attended AA meetings where people talk about there illness. This term for alcoholism doesn't not sit easy with me, I have seen illness in my father for 7 years which ended up killing him a man who never drank or smoked in his life. But also being told its a selfishness or a lack of will power is my problem also angers me. I know the decision to drink in my case is selfish, I would count myself intelligent man but logic and intelligence goes out the window when drink is involved.

I posted last week about aiming for 100 days on Wednesday, I did it. Not posting here looking any pats on the back or well done but to tell how my heads works and maybe someone with a close family member who is struggling can take something from it to help them.

Wednesday I got through no issue, never crossed my mind to drink. Sister messaged me that night to say well done and that was all the thought I had about it. Thursday morning woke went to the gym at 6am feeling great. Headed to work and have to walk past one of them shit holes that is Weatherspoons about 7.15. The drink delivery lorry was loading out.

Logic went out the window and all that entered my head was if I go for a Fry by the time I eat it will be 8am and weatherspoons will be serving. My head was telling me look you've done the 100 days, proved all the feckers wrong who said I couldn't do it so I have no need to do 101 days. All day yesterday I had to battle the urge and I was close to the wire a few time but I got there, today I have no interest in drink. That kind of messed up thinking is very hard to explain to other people. But if I had went yesterday that would have been me till at least start of November.

[brokencrossbar1]

Rounds aren't a great thing as it can put pressure on people to drink more than they would normally do. I don't know if it is just an Irish thing as in many other countries people just buy their own.....which is more sensible really.

The odd night I've went out with a few lads they can't fathom me sitting out a round when I'm drinking red wine and they're on the pints.
If a glass does appear even after I told them not to it sits there till I'm good and ready and I'll miss out then next round or whatever. I'd be a mess otherwise.

It can be easy for lads to drink at a rate they're not comfortable with especially if there's a beer monster in the group.

Easy way around that is to buy a big bottle at the start of the night and just drink at your leisure and don't get into the rounds at all.

[brokencrossbar1]

I close friend of mine had a 30 years battle with the booze, like myself. He married late in life (mid 40's) but was still on the sauce very heavily. He had 2 kids in quick succession but never stopped him. It wasn't till the wife tossed him out and he was sleeping rough for a while that he got stopped.

That's about 5 years ago, he is back living at home. Relationship is going from strength to strength and he is a great father. Also he never looked better. And I have to admit I am very proud of him and jealous also.

But I get really angry when down the local and his name comes up. His so called mates are he's a bollacks, what did he ever really drink, its all the wife's problem she knew what she married, why not let him have a couple of pints.

I had many a good session with him, I do missed the odd day on the lash with him but am glad he is where he is in his life and hopes that comes to me someday.

I am an alcoholic but unfortunately I feel it is misunderstood by so many. I have attended AA meetings where people talk about there illness. This term for alcoholism doesn't not sit easy with me, I have seen illness in my father for 7 years which ended up killing him a man who never drank or smoked in his life. But also being told its a selfishness or a lack of will power is my problem also angers me. I know the decision to drink in my case is selfish, I would count myself intelligent man but logic and intelligence goes out the window when drink is involved.

I posted last week about aiming for 100 days on Wednesday, I did it. Not posting here looking any pats on the back or well done but to tell how my heads works and maybe someone with a close family member who is struggling can take something from it to help them.

Wednesday I got through no issue, never crossed my mind to drink. Sister messaged me that night to say well done and that was all the thought I had about it. Thursday morning woke went to the gym at 6am feeling great. Headed to work and have to walk past one of them shit holes that is Weatherspoons about 7.15. The drink delivery lorry was loading out.

Logic went out the window and all that entered my head was if I go for a Fry by the time I eat it will be 8am and weatherspoons will be serving. My head was telling me look you've done the 100 days, proved all the feckers wrong who said I couldn't do it so I have no need to do 101 days. All day yesterday I had to battle the urge and I was close to the wire a few time but I got there, today I have no interest in drink. That kind of messed up thinking is very hard to explain to other people. But if I had went yesterday that would have been me till at least start of November.

Fair play to you and that is a great achievement.  Do you think it might get to the stage that you will stop counting?  I'm curious but to me the idea of counting the days would seem to reinforce the fact that you are avoiding alcohol?  Maybe it is necessary,  I'm just curious.