Hitting/Slapping Children

[theskull1]

I'd be a naughty step man now myself and have voted for this approach. With discipline it really pays off IMO. But sometimes the short sharp shock is a better solution that the emotional torture of putting someone on a step for a few minutes. I can't remember the last time I did it but have no issue with smacking as long as it is used as a tool to teach a child a lesson he/she needs to remember (i.e. Doing something which may endanger his/her own life...like running off away from you). Some lessons need to be learned quicker than others.

[Aerlik]

I'm not saying these people are scarred by the experience or anything so dramatic. Just that everyone I have spoken to who has had experience of corporal punishment can point to someone who was totally unfit to be given such responsibility. And that's why the responsibility was (correctly, in my opinion) removed from their profession

I'm with Deiseach on this one, and Mac Hinery can back me up when we think of some of the assassins who masqueraded as teachers at St.Pat's Maghera.  One female very senior member of staff used to have a strap about 3/4 inch thick and about a foot long with studs in it.  And how she administered "justice" with it.  She was deadly.  And "The Bob", himself the former "Dean of Discipline" at St.Columb's in Derry, used to always delegate the punishment to some of his lieutenants, the favourite being the Dunloy milkman.  Joe Sow was renowned for his stingers... only experienced that once.  But once was enough.

The worst was Cookie my primary school principal.  As vicious a person as God ever put on this planet.  When I think of him up at the altar giving out Communion it fecking makes me furious.    He would bate seven shades out of you.  Hoor.

[The Real Laoislad]

I got many a slap off the auld lad when i was younger,It never done me any harm and i certainly don't resent him for it..I know there is a fine line between physical abuse and the odd slap on the arse,but i don't see anything wrong with as i said the odd slap now and again.
I do alot of work in people's houses and its is unreal the amount of out of control kids i come across and the parents don't even give out to them never mind a slap across the arse..

[Snowed Under]

No you are just advocating physical violence on a helpless toddler - in other words you are bullying someone weaker than yourself; not that that surprises me.

Whereas allowing a child to do what they want is a sign of love?

No but teaching a child from the very early stages with patience and love will negate the need for him/her to act up for attention as all kids need and crave it.  Just hitting them a slap when you can't be arsed or they are annoying you is a cowardly and abusive act.

That's all well and good but some children don't take a blind bit of notice to what is said to them. 

You didn't answer my question - what forms of punishment do you advocate?

How is a smack the best combination of effectivness and mimimal cruelty for you when you go on to admit it meant nothing to you but a momentary pain. Where as it seems the other forms of punishment made you think as you wanted to avoid them?

IMO Becasue you'd know not to do it again as you didn't want the slap.  It's the long drawn out punishments that cause unnecessary misery.
Ignoring must have been what the mother on the plane was doing!
I've a nephew whos four and you'd have some hope of getting him to sit in a corner for 10 minutes to think about what he done!

I advocate praise and reward for being good; on occassions where punishment is needed being sent to room to think about actions with no toys etc or being denied treats or toys all work; hitting a slap is the lazy man's way out and shows the adult to be a bully; inflicting physical pain on a toddler can not be advocated in any sense.

[Louth Exile]

my question for you, you've a three year old who won't behave on a plane annoying all around them, you spend a hour shouting at them, telling them to sit down, be quiet, stop yapping etc - they still won't behave, what do you do?

You probably should have put talking rather than shouting in your question above. To answer the question with the options you have given I would go for the second option myself. But at that stage I would say out of frustration more than anything else. I can appreciate that for some kids (and yes some of them are just spoilt brats) a plane trip could be very boring. It is unlikely that the slap would achieve the desired results in that situation but most would probably try it anyway.

Pints I have to say, you do seem to be giving only two really options, you slap the child or you shout at them. These are both to do with discipline and punishment. Where does simply trying to talk to the child first and making them understand what they are doing come into it? Some kids are unruly little shits, others will respond to a talking to.

Yes I got a slap when I was a kid and yes I will use the line "It never did me any harm". I have two lads myself and the oldest is 8, yes I have given him a slap before when he was bold. But I can tell you this, it is not always the right thing, I can remember an occasion once where I gave him a good slap on the back of the leg. It stopped him misbehaving, it also stopped him talking to me for two days! (who do you think felt worse afterwards, me or him?)  I would genuinely believe that with most kids, problems can be sorted with talking, if they don't respond to this they normally will respond to the threat of a slap (once they know you are not bluffing) slapping should be the last action and not the first.

You are looking for alternatives POG, I'll give you one possible one at this time of year....
Kids like adults seem to go through phases of behaviour, this time last year, the aforementioned wee man was going through a right phase of giving his mother grief. Nothing seemed to be working until he I got an e-mail that santa asked to pass on to him!! Well when he read that his face went white and he cried, we reassured him that if he was a good boy that santa would come and wasn't he very good to warn him. Complete change in behaviour and Santa did come, problem solved as nothing like this behaviour has resurfaced since.

[Snowed Under]

I got many a slap off the auld lad when i was younger,It never done me any harm and i certainly don't resent him for it..I know there is a fine line between physical abuse and the odd slap on the arse,but i don't see anything wrong with as i said the odd slap now and again.
I do alot of work in people's houses and its is unreal the amount of out of control kids i come across and the parents don't even give out to them never mind a slap across the arse..

There is some difference between out of control kids and kids in their own house having fun. 

[pintsofguinness]

snowed under

I advocate praise and reward for being good; on occassions where punishment is needed being sent to room to think about actions with no toys etc or being denied treats or toys all work; hitting a slap is the lazy man's way out and shows the adult to be a bully; inflicting physical pain on a toddler can not be advocated in any sense.

So you'd rather prolong their misery? As someone else pointed out it's not the "inflicting of pain" in a slap it's the shock of it that is effective.  A slap on the arse or hand does not inflict pain. 

There is some difference between out of control kids and kids in their own house having fun.

and LL was talking about out of control kids.

Maybe if more children got a slap parents would have less trouble walking them through a car park.

Louthexile
I agree with you that talking/shouting/giving out is the first option.  I wouldn't advocate seeing a child doing something wrong and walking over and giving them a slap.  It's when the talking and shouting doesnt work or isn't enough the child needs a slap. 

[The Real Laoislad]

I got many a slap off the auld lad when i was younger,It never done me any harm and i certainly don't resent him for it..I know there is a fine line between physical abuse and the odd slap on the arse,but i don't see anything wrong with as i said the odd slap now and again.
I do alot of work in people's houses and its is unreal the amount of out of control kids i come across and the parents don't even give out to them never mind a slap across the arse..

There is some difference between out of control kids and kids in their own house having fun. 

Im talking about kids who empty out the contents of my tool box or climb the ladders i'd have in a house or roar abuse at their parents when they don't get their way,If i say anything to them and tell them to get down off ladder or leave tool box alone the parents look at me as if im doing something wrong..There is not enough disipline on kids nowadays and i blame the parents

[Snowed Under]

snowed under

I advocate praise and reward for being good; on occassions where punishment is needed being sent to room to think about actions with no toys etc or being denied treats or toys all work; hitting a slap is the lazy man's way out and shows the adult to be a bully; inflicting physical pain on a toddler can not be advocated in any sense.

So you'd rather prolong their misery? As someone else pointed out it's not the "inflicting of pain" in a slap it's the shock of it that is effective.  A slap on the arse or hand does not inflict pain.  

There is some difference between out of control kids and kids in their own house having fun.

and LL was talking about out of control kids.

Maybe if more children got a slap parents would have less trouble walking them through a car park.

Louthexile
I agree with you that talking/shouting/giving out is the first option.  I wouldn't advocate seeing a child doing something wrong and walking over and giving them a slap.  It's when the talking and shouting doesnt work or isn't enough the child needs a slap. 

Pathetic pick another posters thoughts and now run with them - hit a toddler you are a bully; nothing a toddler could do would warrent a fully grown man hitting them a slap; and if for one moment you think one slap is all it's going take you are very much mistaken.  The parent will see that the "slap" caused the unacceptable / bad behaviour to stop and continue with his lazy approach of slapping to achieve results though the "shock" value might be gone after a while but here just hit harder the next time.  

As for the out of control kids what were they doing pulling the house down - lighting fires in the living room or being kids and having fun in their own home.

[theskull1]

The reality is that any parent who keeps a good eye on the behaviour of his kids, they rarely step out of line to the point where a slap is the only option left to them. The look and tone of his/her voice normally works, before things get out of hand, but the will be exceptions. The Parents who have poorly disciplined kids are the the ones to blame for them being that way.

[pintsofguinness]

laoislad

Pathetic pick another posters thoughts and now run with them - hit a toddler you are a bully; nothing a toddler could do would warrent a fully grown man hitting them a slap; and if for one moment you think one slap is all it's going take you are very much mistaken.  The parent will see that the "slap" caused the unacceptable / bad behaviour to stop and continue with his lazy approach of slapping to achieve results though the "shock" value might be gone after a while but her just hit harder the next time.  Roll Eyes

As for the out of control kids what were they doing pulling the house down - lighting fires in the living room or being kids and having fun in their own home.

I don't need to pick on laoislad's thoughts - I know exactly what he's talking about as I experience it myself.
A three year old is getting ready to go to school - may already be at nursery - and it's up to the parent to teach them right from young, even at that young age.  Are you telling me a three year old understands you explaining a load of nonsense to them or understands you won't buy them sweets because of something they done yesterday? 
The lazy and selfish way out is sending them off to school and expecting teachers and then a babysitter to deal with them.  I suppose your form of punishment is grand if you spend only a few hours a day with your child. 

[Gnevin]

laoislad

Pathetic pick another posters thoughts and now run with them - hit a toddler you are a bully; nothing a toddler could do would warrent a fully grown man hitting them a slap; and if for one moment you think one slap is all it's going take you are very much mistaken.  The parent will see that the "slap" caused the unacceptable / bad behaviour to stop and continue with his lazy approach of slapping to achieve results though the "shock" value might be gone after a while but her just hit harder the next time.  Roll Eyes

As for the out of control kids what were they doing pulling the house down - lighting fires in the living room or being kids and having fun in their own home.

I don't need to pick on laoislad's thoughts - I know exactly what he's talking about as I experience it myself.
A three year old is getting ready to go to school - may already be at nursery - and it's up to the parent to teach them right from young, even at that young age.  Are you telling me a three year old understands you explaining a load of nonsense to them or understands you won't buy them sweets because of something they done yesterday? 
The lazy and selfish way out is sending them off to school and expecting teachers and then a babysitter to deal with them.  I suppose your form of punishment is grand if you spend only a few hours a day with your child. 

I don't agree with extending the punishment over hours let alone day(s) for young kids , if they are bold you deal with it their and then so the know simply the previous action lead to this. FFS if the cats understand when i throw them out not to do what they where doing before a child will easly understand it . Are you telling me a 3 year old cant understand a simple statement but will understand not to hit other kids to punish them like Daddy does?

Also how old do you smack till 6 ,8,10 ,15? And what do you do then?

[Snowed Under]

laoislad

Pathetic pick another posters thoughts and now run with them - hit a toddler you are a bully; nothing a toddler could do would warrent a fully grown man hitting them a slap; and if for one moment you think one slap is all it's going take you are very much mistaken.  The parent will see that the "slap" caused the unacceptable / bad behaviour to stop and continue with his lazy approach of slapping to achieve results though the "shock" value might be gone after a while but her just hit harder the next time.  Roll Eyes

As for the out of control kids what were they doing pulling the house down - lighting fires in the living room or being kids and having fun in their own home.

I don't need to pick on laoislad's thoughts - I know exactly what he's talking about as I experience it myself.
A three year old is getting ready to go to school - may already be at nursery - and it's up to the parent to teach them right from young, even at that young age.  Are you telling me a three year old understands you explaining a load of nonsense to them or understands you won't buy them sweets because of something they done yesterday? 
The lazy and selfish way out is sending them off to school and expecting teachers and then a babysitter to deal with them.  I suppose your form of punishment is grand if you spend only a few hours a day with your child. 

You only start school at 5 where I live.  It is up to the parents to teach them right from wrong but do you think a child who goes into nusery and decides he wants another childs toy won't whack them for it; after all Daddy when he doesn't get his way; i.e. child to behave, whacks him so it must be ok.  You can't give me a resonable example where physical violence on a toddler is justified; it all steems to you being a bully to a small weak human being. you should be ashamed.  By the way as you have no kids I'll tell you it's amazing what a 3 year old understands even a one year old's grasp of things astonishes me.

As for the pathetic attempt to mark parents as selfish cause they work etc. 

[Louth Exile]

Also how old do you smack till 6 ,8,10 ,15? And what do you do then?

You try hiting a 15 year old, he'll punch back

[the Deel Rover]

The reality is that any parent who keeps a good eye on the behaviour of his kids, they rarely step out of line to the point where a slap is the only option left to them. The look and tone of his/her voice normally works, before things get out of hand, but the will be exceptions. The Parents who have poorly disciplined kids are the the ones to blame for them being that way.

Totally agree with you there skull as you said the way you say something normally works. I have 2 kids the eldest been 5 and i have to admit that i have only slapped on 1 occasion as louth exile said i felt worse afterwards the my child. i am no way a pefect parent however my children do have manners and would respect other kids . i myself can't undestand parents who let kids do what they want as if they were invisible.
Parenting is a tough  it ain't easy however it is so rewarding, my hope is that in the future when my children  are older that they will consider me their friend as well as their dad just as my parents are that to me and if i go around slapping them the whole time that ain't going to happen.