Counties in World terms

[Pangurban]

Copied from website of Kilmoyley G.A.A.Club
   

For those of you who follow the GAA...
Knowing that the situation in Afghanistan can be a little confusing, here is the quick guide to the main GAA players in more global terms.

USA = Kerry - Utterly Arrogant and motivated by greed.
If they suffer the slightest injustice the whole world hears about it. Leader sees himself as bit of a visionary, most see him as bit of a tyrant.

Al Qaeda = Meath - Thugs who like to take out opponents behind the play.
Capable of upsetting just about anyone. Leader is a paranoid nutter.

United Kingdom = Galway - Had moved forward having been stuck in the past for decades.
Have a leader who loves the sound of his own voice, full of rhetoric whilst ducking the important issues.

France = Sligo - Perennial bridesmaids. Have a huge armoury but heavily criticised in the past for misfiring. More likely to bore you to death than to be a real threat toanyone.

Pakistan = Kildare - Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset a large percentage of it's supporter base
through its over involvement with foreigners. Could soon experience a revolt within its own ranks.

India = Down - A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but with a huge supporter base.
Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet is largely ignored by non-fans. Local derbies can be a bit fier

[anglocelt39]

Former USSR=my home county of Cavan. Those aged over 50 vaguely remember it being a power of some sort.Those aged under 20 need to be reminded of the places existence.

Our colleague Hardy appears to have taken the weekend off so can I take up the cudgels on his behalf and rebut the terrible slur on Al Queda, death and vengence will be yours.

[Hardy]

Thanks anglo. You're getting the hang of it.

(I would have put us down as more like Israel - surrounded by primitives, fundamentalists and lesser powers who abhor our very existence, hated by everybody, don't give a toss about anybody but cuddly and loveable underneath it all).   

[anglocelt39]

Ah sure jesus Hardy how could I have even thought you would desert your post for any length of time.

Your Israel comparison was spot on the money re. the mid-90's Meath. Unfortunately it is now rather dated. Since I have already assigned the former Soviet Union I had to rack the brains for a minute or two to come up with something more up to date

British Empire=Meath (kind of appropriate to the Royal County now that I think of it). The victories, the glorious conquests, the rape, pillage and terrorism, the development of amnesia by the perpetrators. The setting of the sun, the distant memories, the fact that, looked at from the outside, apart from a few zealots and dudes with lots of time on their hands, nobody else gives a shite anymore.

[Hardy]

Except you, obviously.

Good one, though.

[anglocelt39]

arrrah sure Hardy haven't I the words of that former Carnaross corner back Oscar Wilde in mind.....the one thing worse than being spoken ill of is not being spoken about at all. And based on the last 30 years of personal experience of some of us I reckon the bould oscar was more than a handy, ahem, man marker

[Hardy]

the one thing worse than being spoken ill of is not being spoken about at all

We'll have to take your word for that.

We have great time for the hard Oscar alright and I'm sure he'd smile at the idea of you Cavanites wanting to be our enemies. We may be yours, but sorry – we can't return the honour. But fire away, sure. We won't really notice. If we do, we'll just follow another of Oscar's recommendations: always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

[anglocelt39]

We'll have to take your word for that

But sure indeed isn't that my point Hardy, and you can indeed take my word on it. The key point is though, me auld stock, that you need all the enemies you can muster at the minute, because the way it's going you're running out of them rather fast. Another year or two of insipid under achievement and you could find yourself inducted into the BMW society of counties that GAA heads barely recognise, or worse still, bear a grudge against. Well I suppose you can always rely on Mayo in the hour of desperate need.

[ziggysego]

[SouthArmaghBandit]

Care to explain Ziggeyo? Or did you take one too many pills this morning?

[ziggysego]

Care to explain Ziggeyo? Or did you take one too many pills this morning?

Each county as a map of a country on it.

ie 

Tyrone = Argentia
Kerry = Brazil
Dublin = England

[SouthArmaghBandit]

Care to explain Ziggeyo? Or did you take one too many pills this morning?

Each county as a map of a country on it.

ie 

Tyrone = Argentia
Kerry = Brazil
Dublin = England

Yeah, but why? You can't just sat Tyrone are Argentina without explaining why FFS! They both like beef sandwiches? They both lost to the English in a recent war? What's the liink?

[Hardy]

Another year or two of insipid under achievement and you could find yourself inducted into the BMW society of counties that GAA heads barely recognise, or worse still, bear a grudge against.

Aye – a couple of unproductive years can be worrying alright. You start thinking about what could happen. You remember the once in a generation that you see clapped-out Massey Fergusons decked out in blue-and-white flags chugging down the N3 and catcalling their way through Kells and environs. It arouses some faint race memory in us, seems to stimulate a long-suppressed stone-throwing reflex and gets young lads pegging rocks without really knowing why they're doing it. They go home and ask their fathers, "Da, what's a Cavan?". "I dunno, son – ask yer grandfather".

Anyway, look - I'd be more than delighted if the next fifty years were a golden age for Cavan with an All-Ireland a decade thrown in for us.

And I agree - you can always rely on Mayo when you're looking for someone worse off than yourself.

[ziggysego]

Yeah, but why? You can't just sat Tyrone are Argentina without explaining why FFS! They both like beef sandwiches? They both lost to the English in a recent war? What's the liink?

Don't get your knickers in a twist sonny

[anglocelt39]

Ah jaysus Hardy I could begin to get pissed off with you if you weren't so wonderful and charming in a gruff, Royal county sort of way. one all ireland a decade-for gods sake that's a golden, silver, bronze and platinum age all in one for us has beens.