Author Topic: Depression  (Read 51781 times)

illdecide

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Re: Depression
« Reply #30 on: October 27, 2013, 12:25:44 PM »
I I don't know the slightest thing about this so couldn't possibly give advice to any of you but fair play for coming out and posting it up .This in itself proves that you are a much stronger person than u realise.  I know I don't post up much sense at times and am a bit of a joker but all I can say if at anytime your feeling low for whatever reason post it up and im certain whoever is online at that time can talk to you and give some encouragement...
good luck...
I can swim a little but i can't fly an inch

samboswig

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Re: Depression
« Reply #31 on: October 27, 2013, 03:25:50 PM »
Anyone who can talk about what is bothering them, whether to friends or family or even on a message board has big balls and my admiration. Keep her lit.

seafoid

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Re: Depression
« Reply #32 on: October 27, 2013, 05:51:55 PM »
AA have a lot of slogans but my favorite is "This too shall pass". No matter what sh!tty situation you're in or how awful you feel, it will pass if you just hang in there.

I think it helps to remove the stigma if the family and newspapers actually talk openly about it as suicide rather than the "he was found dead at his home" stuff, when everyone knows what happens. That just sends the message that there is something shameful about suicide when there isn't. It's just a tragedy.

I think they don't want to encourage copycat behavior, Asal. It is very complicated. I think mental health education could be far more effective than it is. It's desperate to see people taking their own lives in their early 20s when maybe if they knew what was happening to them and who could help them they could be fine a few months later. Suicidal urges can be gone in 10 minutes.

Donal Og did great work coming out and I think something similar is required for mental illness ,another old taboo.
Marcus Trescothick the cricketer gave up test cricket because of his depression and "came out" about it

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/oct/15/the-spin-marcus-trescothick-changed-cricket

I remember John Leahy taunting Gerry McInerney about his brother's suicide. Sport is often too macho and you have to take your punishment but sports people could open up the debate with the right support.   
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Jeepers Creepers

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Re: Depression
« Reply #33 on: October 27, 2013, 07:47:49 PM »
Someone had earlier posted about exercise. Remember reading an article about Ronnie O'Sullivan who was battling depression which was well documented. A doctor prescribed all sorts and in the end said has he tried jogging. He decided to it give a go after a while he said he was doing 35 to 40 miles a week and for the first time felt light at the end of the tunnel. Asked if he was forced to give up either snooker or jogging, he'd give up snooker in a flash because jogging was having a profound effect.

Eamonnca1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #34 on: October 27, 2013, 09:36:55 PM »
Thanks for all the kind comments and private messages.

I'm in a much better state of mind now, but at this time of year I still take preventative measures before it becomes a problem. So I keep up the exercise and keep the lights on full. Might invest in a light box for good measure.

Some of you have raised the religion issue. As atheists in a religious society we're sometimes defined in terms of what we're not as opposed to what we are. I might not be a religious person but I consider myself a very spiritual person. The wind in my face when cycling, the company of friends, the enjoyment I get from learning new skills, the satisfaction I get from my GAA work,  family, these are the things that make me sometimes step back from the moment and marvel at how good life is. The billion year chain of events that brought us about. The endless exciting possibilities of existence.

Asal Mor

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Re: Depression
« Reply #35 on: October 28, 2013, 08:55:38 AM »

I think they don't want to encourage copycat behavior, Asal. It is very complicated. I think mental health education could be far more effective than it is. It's desperate to see people taking their own lives in their early 20s when maybe if they knew what was happening to them and who could help them they could be fine a few months later. Suicidal urges can be gone in 10 minutes.

Donal Og did great work coming out and I think something similar is required for mental illness ,another old taboo.
Marcus Trescothick the cricketer gave up test cricket because of his depression and "came out" about it

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/oct/15/the-spin-marcus-trescothick-changed-cricket

You're probably right there seafoid and I suppose it would be pretty insensitive to the family too.

Growing up in a small town, I remember you'd hear occasionally "that's your man who was in the psych unit" and it's a stigma that would follow that person around, like an ex-con. He'd be seen as a bit of an oddball forever more. I'd say attitudes have changed a fair bit since then, thankfully, but there's still a way to go. Shane O' Donnell's comments have been good to hear.

BarryBreensBandage

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Re: Depression
« Reply #36 on: October 28, 2013, 10:12:42 AM »
“The keys to life are running and reading. When you're running, there's a little person that talks to you and says, "Oh I'm tired. My lung's about to pop. I'm so hurt. There's no way I can possibly continue." You want to quit. If you learn how to defeat that person when you're running, You will know how to not quit when things get hard in your life. For reading: there have been gazillions of people that have lived before all of us. There's no new problem you could have--with your parents, with school, with a bully. There's no new problem that someone hasn't already had and written about it in a book.”


― Will Smith

Big respect to people who have posted their own story here.
"Some people say I am indecisive..... maybe I am, maybe I'm not".

theskull1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #37 on: October 28, 2013, 10:17:29 AM »
Just playing devils advocate here lads ...

Is there any evidence, that losing any stigma related to depression and suicide is having any benefit on society? I'm sure some would argue that the stigma was in place as a layer of protection to try and protect the wider population from what they may have considered a "thought virus"? Lose the stigma and you potentially increase the possibility that more people could talk themselves into "catching the cold" so to speak.

I say again ...I'm being devils advocate   
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brokencrossbar1

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Re: Depression
« Reply #38 on: October 28, 2013, 10:53:59 AM »
Just playing devils advocate here lads ...

Is there any evidence, that losing any stigma related to depression and suicide is having any benefit on society? I'm sure some would argue that the stigma was in place as a layer of protection to try and protect the wider population from what they may have considered a "thought virus"? Lose the stigma and you potentially increase the possibility that more people could talk themselves into "catching the cold" so to speak.

I say again ...I'm being devils advocate

There is logic to what you say skull and the whole notion of 'copycatting' is something that there is a fear of.  The more pertinent issue is not the lifting of the stigma but the education that follows that lifting.  It is one thing to say it is ok to talk about things but people need to know why it is ok to talk about things and why there are other answers to the terrible questions in their heads than taking their own life.  Depression is the hidden illness that can effect anyone.  A few of us on here had an old school friend who committed suicide a few weeks ago.  He was the most inoffensive, innocent type of a fella that you could ever meet.  I hadn't seen him in years in fairness so I cannot comment on what had happened to him in the interim but he was just simply a nice young lad.  It nearly knocked me off my feet when I hear of it.  I spoke to a few Board members on here and we  couldn't grasp it.  I am not ashamed to say this but I sat in the carpark in Tescos in Newry and cried about it.  It was one of those situations where you say to yourself what has happened to the world over the years to make it so unappealing for people to live in.  I personally have battled depression for many years.  I go into seriously dark places.  Like Eamonca1 this time of the year is very difficult as the nights get darker and the evenings get colder.  I become very difficult to live with some times.  I agree with the quote from Will Smith about reading and running.  I know that football in Crossmaglen saved my life.  The release of frustration, the sense of achievement and the feeling of being part of something special all contributed to a greater sense of well being and the joy of reading not only made me realise that the world always had the problems I have had but also it broadened my mind and the joy of actually learning something new was special in itself.  I had stopped reading for a long time but I am back at it now(Lethal Allies is a great read!) and it is helping me again at a very difficult time. 

So to get back to your point, the notion that by talking about it means everyone catches a cold has some merit in it but it needs to be talked about, the longer it is hidden the harder it is to beat.

Main Street

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Re: Depression
« Reply #39 on: October 28, 2013, 11:02:50 AM »
I'm starting this thread to talk about something that I think should be talked about more openly.

I've suffered from depression in the past and had a particularly nasty bout a few years ago when I was wondering what was the point of going on and would the world be any worse off if I just abandoned ship. That was a bit of an extreme case, but it usually hits me in winter, and it doesn't take much to trigger it (in my case it's usually my relationships with women). The fact that I've been through it before meant that I was reasonably well equipped to deal with it.  I'm not saying this will work for everyone, but I decided to embark on "Operation fight back against it" in the following way:

  • Stay off the drink (which is a depressant, particularly gin which was an old favourite of mine).
  • Interact with friends at least once a week no matter how much of a pain in the neck it is to go out.  If you stay in the house when in that state it's very easy to forget that you even have friends, so getting out there and meeting them reminds you that they're always there.
  • Get out of the house and mingle at weekends, no sitting in the house all weekend with no human contact, even if I'm not hugely enthused about the idea of going to whatever party is on and even if I'm going to have that "alone in a crowd" sensation for some of the time.
  • Try to strike up conversations with strangers when doing business with them - Californians are friendly like that and are happy to chat instead of just taking your money and saying thank you and have a good day.  Sometimes you can have a bit of crack at the cash register at the most unexpected of times if you just make the effort to converse.
  • Cardiovascular exercise (in my case long haul rides on the bike with my club) to get some endorphins flowing and keep the appetite working.
  • Make sure to eat at regular times during the weekend as if it were a week day (easy to forget that sometimes).
  • Watch old comedy shows that I know I'm going to like and will make me chuckle (in my case shows like Blackadder).
  • Keep the lights on and blinds open in the office during the day.
  • Have as much light as possible in the house in the evening.
  • Use sleeping aids at night if necessary, and try to get up early enough to maximise the amount of sunlight you get
  • Speak to a counselor once a week, which becomes a bit of a highlight of the week.

Finally, keep a diary of all of the above.  Record all the positive things I did in a week, award myself points for different types of activities, and try to keep a consistently high score each day and each week.  So if it's nearing the end of the day and my score isn't what it was the previous day then I might think "okay, better fire up Netflix and watch a funny show", or if it's nearing the weekend and I'm lacking in points then I'll make an effort to go out dancing with friends.  It's a bit like what app developers call "game mechanics", incentivised behaviour brought on by making a game out of it.

It took me about a year or more to fully recover from that bout which was probably the most intense I've ever had, and I kept up the diary thing for a long time afterwards until I felt confident enough to do without it.

Like I said, that's not a system that'll work for everyone, and no one of those things is going to fix it all, but each one helped a little and collectively it added up.  It also helped that I have pets to take care of.  I don't have a wife or family, but in the darkest days of winter it's nice to have a bit of company in the evenings, even if it's some small furry animals that are always happy to see you no matter what.  There's something soothing about a cat sitting purring on your lap.

Anyone else have similar experiences or coping mechanisms?

Respectful comments only please.
You did very well with all of this for your depression. You mention 'coping mechanisms' with depression, I'd say you worked through it and came out the other side. 'Coping' is a survival mechanism to help a person survive  the effects, not a way of working through it.
Every person has their own depression and there are  many different stages of decay, unfortunately  people (and many medics) tend to lump all depressions under the one depression label.
The "A.A.ism" applies - one day at a time,  except it depends on the level of the onset of despair. Once a person in the grips of depression decides somewhere in their brain that they want to move on, it might have to be boiled down to an hour at a time,  even 5 minutes a time, maybe every little event has to be separated. Going to the bathroom in the morning might have to be separated into 4 events, taking one at a time, toilet, shower,brush teeth, shave. That's one way how a person can get habituated into acting like a human, with the struggle to just function. The step after that is to do each event well and take satisfaction from doing it well. Then gradually expand the activities, the day to day events and add in positive activities that you mention.
 Generally people take the idea of getting up in the morning as one big event, to include all activities before leaving the house.
You have to keep plugging away Eamonnca and eventually you will be able to challenge the underlying reason why a relationship break up triggers a feeling of utter worthlessness. Even the underlying reasons for a cyclical depressions can be understood, confronted and put to a permanent sleep.

« Last Edit: October 28, 2013, 11:05:54 AM by Main Street »

Count 10

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Re: Depression
« Reply #40 on: October 28, 2013, 11:04:00 AM »
Thanks for the kind words. Right now I'm crying for no apparent reason. I need routine for my day, but since my diagnosis I lost my job, and am currently unemployed. I get up early and leave the kids to school, walk the dog, meet up for coffee etc and if you were to ask any of my family or friends they would have no idea of my demons.
One friend who suffers from depression stopped me one night in a bar and asked the simple question "How are you?".....well the floodgates opened and he was shocked beyond belief.
I have reached the stage where I'm tired....tired of everything....and I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Last Wednesday I slept for 17 hours, and I told my wife it was just tiredness from the chemo.
I have it all, a great family, wife, kids the whole lot, but I'm not happy and I don't know how much longer I can keep up the pretence.
My outlook on life is there's always someone worse off than you and it is so true.
Exercise is great for clearing the head, but at the moment I'm limited to short walks, but hopefully will be able to get out on the bike again soon.

The reason I post this is to give others who may be in a similar situation hope that we can change things around.
I'm sticking around!!   

Milltown Row2

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Re: Depression
« Reply #41 on: October 28, 2013, 11:12:37 AM »
Just playing devils advocate here lads ...

Is there any evidence, that losing any stigma related to depression and suicide is having any benefit on society? I'm sure some would argue that the stigma was in place as a layer of protection to try and protect the wider population from what they may have considered a "thought virus"? Lose the stigma and you potentially increase the possibility that more people could talk themselves into "catching the cold" so to speak.

I say again ...I'm being devils advocate

Increase suicide by talking about it? If you check the trends of suicide 20 years ago and today (when there is less stigma) would they be similar? i.e numbers taking own lives
Anything I post is not the view of the County Board!! Nobody died in the making of this post ;-)

DennistheMenace

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Re: Depression
« Reply #42 on: October 28, 2013, 11:29:00 AM »
Suicides are widely reported as a 'sudden death' and it's wiped under the carpet. Personally i'd prefer for it to be out in the open, for more education around it, whilst it's not really a taboo' subject anymore, people still don't like to talk about it nor do the media seem to like to report it. Is there any evidence to support this copycat effect?

STREET FIGHTER

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Re: Depression
« Reply #43 on: October 28, 2013, 11:30:41 AM »
How is the best way to help a sufferer of depression- if any???

SLIGONIAN

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Re: Depression
« Reply #44 on: October 28, 2013, 11:31:54 AM »
Everybody is actually suffering from depression albeit to different extents depending on your level of awareness. Most people try to keep their minds busy and not face any of the issues. It is more dangerous but far more rewarding if you face all of them and try to dissolve them imo.

Skull is there any evidence that the stigma and keeping it quite is working, isnt it clear that that can only cause shame and is more likely to prevent anyone speaking to someone, i would go even further  though, ego awareness, death, depression, fear, suffering, meaning of life, illness, spirituality, dreams are all things that are rarely spoken about as subjects in Ireland but absolutely fascinate me and ive read tonnes of books on, and you learn so much about life, and yourself, how your programmed from a early age, to be someone your parents want you to be, then you reach adulthood after taking on all those projections and go on a voyage of self discovery to be who you are truly are meant to be which entails many battles but boy retrospectively is it magical, something that i was the biggest lesson was actual awareness of unconcious and concious behauvioral patterns within myself, huge discovery, i was 100% unconcious for 23 yrs, totally conditioned to be a certain person acting out from past experiences, to have that awakening to concious behauvior, to be able to to make a choice from the present moment and not react unconciously is so liberating,

My Friend who committed suicide made an unconcious choice which isnt free will or a choice imo, anybody who commits suicide makes that act from an unconcious place within, expression of a past pain that does not exist in the present, that is why when Jesus, said "forgive them father for they know not what theyve done" im not religious but some of Jesus's quote stayed with me, for me this is clear jesus means there unconcious, overwhelmed with their image of blasphemy they feel the anger which is unconcious and unconciously chose to let barrabas go, even the saying the push my buttons implies theres a machine there, when people push mine i go unconcious and get angry, acting out a past pain or an image of myself i hold, its the same with suicide at a more extreme level sadly, and the other thing about suicide its not the spirit you want to kill, its not even you, its your illusions, all depression is based on your expectations not being met in terms of life, of how others should act etc...and it all stems from your ego, you want to kill your ego which is all your images you have of yourself, of how life should be etc... people who are depressed are actually so close to the truth of life but its a tricky dance which can go either way, if you can somehow see the illusions and images of youself you hold, you can transcend them and be way more free, and even if you can be aware of unconcious and concious within you will be in a better place mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
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