Profound stupidity

[omagh_gael]

The woman's uncle who is a bit of a clout came out with a few clinkers this evening...

Apparently the Omagh bomb was planted by the English to start up the troubles again and...

The GAA set up the AI semi-final so that Cork would beat Tyrone as they knew that Tyrone would beat Kerry in the final and the GAA couldn't cope with that.

Some Buck.

[Minder]

The woman's uncle who is a bit of a clout came out with a few clinkers this evening...

Apparently the Omagh bomb was planted by the English to start up the troubles again and...

The GAA set up the AI semi-final so that Cork would beat Tyrone as they knew that Tyrone would beat Kerry in the final and the GAA couldn't cope with that.

Some Buck.

I am sure i have heard that on this board.

[omagh_gael]

The woman's uncle who is a bit of a clout came out with a few clinkers this evening...

Apparently the Omagh bomb was planted by the English to start up the troubles again and...

The GAA set up the AI semi-final so that Cork would beat Tyrone as they knew that Tyrone would beat Kerry in the final and the GAA couldn't cope with that.

Some Buck.

I am sure i have heard that on this board.

I must ask him is he a board member next time I see him 

[DirtyDozen12]

Coming in from a flight to recollect baggage, there was a belt moving around a few over from us with a load of baggage on it but nobody standing around the belt ready to lift it off.  This guys pipes up and says:

"Look over there, all that baggage and no-one to collect it, their flight must'nt be in yet  "

He realised straight after he said it how dumb  a statement it actually was.

Jesus Wept

[Zapatista]

Did you get a lift home ok?

Are you not away yet?

[Captain Scarlet]

A lad in my school was convinced that as he was only in since 4th year he was signed up to the cheerleading squad. We convinced him that he'd have to tell the football manager (who was also his geography teacher) that he wanted to opt out.
he duly did so and his teacher soon became aware that he was a special child. Point of note it was an all boys school!!

[The Gs Man]

When ordering dessert in a restaurant the wife asked for "a selection of sweets".

Heard another one about a mate ordering a pizza.  When asked if he wanted it cut into 3 slices or 6 he replied...."Cut it into 3....I couldn't eat 6".

[paco]

Heard one about a fella who was trying the new diet that their new football manager had given them, thought he was doing really well, eating healthy at work and at home, said he's eating chicken every day and when asked where he gets it or who makes it he said he goes to KFC for lunch every day.

[andoireabu]

a fella started work with us the other day and was sent out on the sit on lawn mower.  he comes in a half hour later and says its in the ditch. when i asked what happened he said the throttle stuck on him and he couldn't get it stopped so he jumped off.  when i asked him could he not have steered it out of the way he looked and me blankly and i could swear i could hear a penny drop.

he broke the track rod end on the mower and it was only his third day.

[Geoff Tipps]

When ordering dessert in a restaurant the wife asked for "a selection of sweets".

Heard another one about a mate ordering a pizza.  When asked if he wanted it cut into 3 slices or 6 he replied...."Cut it into 3....I couldn't eat 6".

Is your mate ordering the pizza Jason McAteer?? That story's been told about him loads of times.

[The Gs Man]

When ordering dessert in a restaurant the wife asked for "a selection of sweets".

Heard another one about a mate ordering a pizza.  When asked if he wanted it cut into 3 slices or 6 he replied...."Cut it into 3....I couldn't eat 6".

Is your mate ordering the pizza Jason McAteer?? That story's been told about him loads of times.

Indeed it is!!

[boojangles]

Ordering in a Subway in Athlone a few years ago, ya one behind the counter asked my intellectually challenged friend who we'l call Joe '' Do you want a foot long or just the 6 inch""?
To which he replies '' Eh,whats the difference''??

Me and Joe were playing pool one day for a few hours.We went up to pay for the lights. We were told it came to 7 pounds to which I commented that I thought it would cost far more. My friend with a look of disgust replies ''Far more,I thought it would be less more''

Joe and I used to work in a Cash and Carry together. One day this brain dead bird landed in looking for Elbow grease( honestly) so deciding to keep this one running instead of putting her out of her misery I called Joe who proceeded to bring her up the back corner where they spent the guts of 10 minutes looking for Elbow grease.

Joe is definitely one of kind.

[BallyhaiseMan]

Ordering in a Subway in Athlone a few years ago, ya one behind the counter asked my intellectually challenged friend who we'l call Joe '' Do you want a foot long or just the 6 inch""?
To which he replies '' Eh,whats the difference''??

Me and Joe were playing pool one day for a few hours.We went up to pay for the lights. We were told it came to 7 pounds to which I commented that I thought it would cost far more. My friend with a look of disgust replies ''Far more,I thought it would be less more''

Joe and I used to work in a Cash and Carry together. One day this brain dead bird landed in looking for Elbow grease( honestly) so deciding to keep this one running instead of putting her out of her misery I called Joe who proceeded to bring her up the back corner where they spent the guts of 10 minutes looking for Elbow grease.

Joe is definitely one of kind.

Joe sounds like a normal enough Drumalee man to me.
 

[mc_grens]

Car home from the flicks one late winters night with an ex about 7 or 8 years back.

The power where I lived in Castleknock was out. Upon getting into the house she was trying to sort out her clothes for next morning and asked me to turn on the tv in the bedroom since the lights weren't working, because she would be "able to see by the light of the screen".

[boojangles]

Ordering in a Subway in Athlone a few years ago, ya one behind the counter asked my intellectually challenged friend who we'l call Joe '' Do you want a foot long or just the 6 inch""?
To which he replies '' Eh,whats the difference''??

Me and Joe were playing pool one day for a few hours.We went up to pay for the lights. We were told it came to 7 pounds to which I commented that I thought it would cost far more. My friend with a look of disgust replies ''Far more,I thought it would be less more''

Joe and I used to work in a Cash and Carry together. One day this brain dead bird landed in looking for Elbow grease( honestly) so deciding to keep this one running instead of putting her out of her misery I called Joe who proceeded to bring her up the back corner where they spent the guts of 10 minutes looking for Elbow grease.

Joe is definitely one of kind.

Joe sounds like a normal enough Drumalee man to me.
 

Joe doesn't play football. Joe is too busy looking for Elbow grease.