Profound stupidity

[Alco Pup]

Ever have anyone come out with some thing so stupid, that you actually have to get them to repeat it, cause you can't believe anyone could think / say that?

There are loads of famous ones out there like:

"There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way."
Terry Venables

"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."
Barry Venison

"We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us."
Ruud Gullit

"A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave."
John Hollins

But there have been plenty of times when someone I know comes out with something so daft that it would only be good manners to share with the world..

[ballinaman]

I overheard a lad at the weekend spelling the word "embarrassed" as imbarst.....thought i was going to choke with the laughing.

[Lar Naparka]

A cousin once told me that he'd go "bear sick" if the wife hadn't his dinner ready when he got home from work.

[fitzroyalty]

An associate of mine happens to have a particularly poor grasp of the English language...he was texting some yoke one day, flirting and the like, said to her about going on holidays: "we could be at it like rabbies"   

[ziggysego]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"

Jesus if looks could kill 

[The Real Laoislad]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"

Jesus if looks could kill 

And what did you mean??

[ziggysego]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"

Jesus if looks could kill 

And what did you mean??

Legs and feet done too, as they were killing. They don't do it for men.

[Alco Pup]

This American blade was over working here for the summer, she came into work one day with a massive burn mark on her chest.  As you do, I asked her what happened...

"I had ironed my shirt and realised when I put it on that I'd forgotten to iron the collar, so instead of taking it off again, I just tried to iron it while wearing it"

[Catch the high ball]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"

Jesus if looks could kill 

And what did you mean??

Legs and feet done too, as they were killing. They don't do it for men.

That is brillant, were you making eye contact when you said it?

[The Real Laoislad]

I known many a apprentice who spent a few hours searchig the store room for a skirting board ladder or the bubble out of a spirit level.

[ziggysego]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"

Jesus if looks could kill 

And what did you mean??

Legs and feet done too, as they were killing. They don't do it for men.

That is brillant, were you making eye contact when you said it?

No, I had my face down the wee hole on the table.

[Alco Pup]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"

Jesus if looks could kill 

And what did you mean??

Legs and feet done too, as they were killing. They don't do it for men.

That is brillant, were you making eye contact when you said it?

No, I had my face down the wee hole on the table.

snigger

[paco]

This American blade was over working here for the summer, she came into work one day with a massive burn mark on her chest.  As you do, I asked her what happened...

"I had ironed my shirt and realised when I put it on that I'd forgotten to iron the collar, so instead of taking it off again, I just tried to iron it while wearing it"

That is ridiculous. What must have been going through her head?

[Mike Sheehy]

This American blade was over working here for the summer, she came into work one day with a massive burn mark on her chest.  As you do, I asked her what happened...

"I had ironed my shirt and realised when I put it on that I'd forgotten to iron the collar, so instead of taking it off again, I just tried to iron it while wearing it"

That is ridiculous. What must have been going through her head?

probably a gentle breeze

[The Real Laoislad]

I was getting a massage on Monday after. Just on my shoulders and back. I asked, what I thought was an innocent question.

"What extras do you do?"


Jesus if looks could kill 

And what did you mean??

Legs and feet done too, as they were killing. They don't do it for men.

That is brillant, were you making eye contact when you said it?

No, I had my face down the wee hole on the table.

I had a massage once where you had to put something else down a hole in the table, it wasn't a wee hole though