Meant to post it earlier but the Irish News had a classic after Engerland were beat by Italy on penos.
"Sick in Kiev."
Any others?
"Heavy Fog In Channel - Continent Cut Off"
Famous headline from The Times, 22nd October 1957
www.flickr.com/photos/sea_observer/3114613078 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/sea_observer/3114613078)
"Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claud_Cockburn
:D
(http://supercaleygoballistic.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/super-caley-go-ballistic1.jpg)
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/3230df86.jpg)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ThhguC97EdA/SR2WSOqMU5I/AAAAAAAAAOc/B5sEtYsh3U4/s320/Freddiehamster.jpg)
Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet. Mayo Advertiser a few years ago. ;D
(http://image.spreadshirt.net/image-server/image/composition/16292596/view/1/producttypecolor/1/type/png/width/280/height/280/elton-takes-david-up-the-aisle_design.png)
(http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/062010/in-the-news.jpg)
(http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2010/02/22/news/photos_stories/cropped/headless_body--300x300.jpg)
In 1857 the Skibbereen Eagle's headline was that it, the Eagle, was keeping its eye on the Czar of Russia' who was planning to annex some bordering parts of neighbouring China at the time.
The sun headline recently after an X factor judge's video was leaked on the internet :
"Has Tulisa blown her job"
One famous one that gets talked about, though it may be an urban myth, was the take of the Aberdeen Press & Journal on the Titanic Disaster in 1912. Big 60pt front page spread, with the announcement:
"Aberdeen man drowns"
The Sun came up with a bit of genius yesterday when calling for the resignation of the CEO of Barclay's Bank, Bob Diamond:
"Sign On You Crazy Diamond"
Some crackers, the celtic one is outstanding.
The irsh times pic a couple of weeks ago with Angela Merkel thinks we're at work was class if not neccessarly a headline.
Mondays Irish news:
Mc Guinness meets the King.
Quote from: AQMP on June 30, 2012, 11:12:10 AM
The Sun came up with a bit of genius yesterday when calling for the resignation of the CEO of Barclay's Bank, Bob Diamond:
"Sign On You Crazy Diamond"
I hate myself for being amused by The Sun, but that's very good.
These were probably posted before, but what harm? A couple of favourites from WWII:
British Push Bottles Up Germans
McArthur Flies back To Front
Quote from: Hardy on June 30, 2012, 11:32:51 AM
A couple of favourites from WWII:
British Push Bottles Up Germans
McArthur Flies back To Front
Not quite. In fact the first, if not apocryphal, was rather better and the second might have referred to Montgomery:
Newspaper headlines are written in a telegraphic style (headlinese) which often omits the copula and therefore lends itself to syntactic ambiguity, usually of the garden path type. The name 'crash blossoms' was proposed for these ambiguous headlines by Dan Bloom and Mike O'Connell in the Testy Copy Editors discussion group in August 2009 based on a headline "Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms". The Columbia Journalism Review regularly reprints such headlines in its "The Lower case" column, and has collected them in the anthologies 'Squad helps dog bite victim' and 'Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge'.
Many purported crash blossoms are actually apocryphal or recycled. One celebrated one from World War I is "French push bottles up German rear"; life imitated art in the Second World War headline "Eighth Army Push Bottles Up German Rear".http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syntactic_ambiguity
And unless you've got an overwhelming aversion to Wiki, I suspect you'll enjoy the rest of that article.
That's a pity.
I suppose "Steps Urged For Hill Farmers" is too good to be true as well.
Some more recent ones I'm fairly certain of:
Bishops Agree Sex Abuse Rules
Missippi's Literacy Program Shows Improvement
Chick Accuses Male Colleagues Of Sexism
(That was Los Angeles Councilwoman Laura Chick)
The Sun on Thursday last had a full page photo of that handshake with the headline: My Goodness McGuinness
The Star earlier this month after Ireland 0 Spain 4 was 'Murder on Gdansk floor'.
After England beaten by Germany in SA 'Fritz all over'.
Not a headline but caption to a picture in the Daily Mirror in 1992.
"Priest holds back rioters on Bloody Sunday"
(http://cdn.independent.ie/multimedia/dynamic/01004/bloody-sunday-i_1004403t.jpg)
I'm not sure if the story reporting locals protesting about a local male interest establishment under the headline "Topless Bar Has Its Knockers" actually ever appeared but I do remember in the late 70s a story about a vicar being caught in flagrante delicto in the church with a married parishoner being headlined "You Dirty Pastor!"
Brilliant lol
Quote from: Farrandeelin on June 30, 2012, 01:35:35 AM
Massive Blow Jobs for Belmullet. Mayo Advertiser a few years ago. ;D
:D :D :D
(http://cdnimg.visualizeus.com/thumbs/a9/d0/newspapers-a9d01f574a17c1eff7a64e836054a95f_h.jpg)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_f98opUNuVXc/TCOszvXUhgI/AAAAAAAAQao/KL5CvwZOhyg/s1600/Woman+in+sumo+wrestler+suit+assaulted+her+ex-girlfriend+In+Gay+Pub+after+she+waved+at+man+dressed+as+a+Snickers+bar.jpg)
Quote from: Fear Boirche on July 01, 2012, 09:00:14 PM
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_f98opUNuVXc/TCOszvXUhgI/AAAAAAAAQao/KL5CvwZOhyg/s1600/Woman+in+sumo+wrestler+suit+assaulted+her+ex-girlfriend+In+Gay+Pub+after+she+waved+at+man+dressed+as+a+Snickers+bar.jpg)
I think we have a winner!!!!
(http://www.purederry.com/photos/stonedfiremen.jpg)
(http://2012olympicsblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Gay-Dix-headline.png)
Ken Dodds Dads Dogs Dead , seem to recall hearing that somewhere
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/flh/funny-newspaper-headlines-dianna-still-alive-hours-before-she-died.jpg)
Some people might say this is a great headline...
"Paddy O'Rourke Resigns"
(http://i56.tinypic.com/10s9il5.jpg)
(http://cdn.list25.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/midget.jpg)
(http://funnylists.thedailysatire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/funny-news-12.jpg)
(http://funnylists.thedailysatire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/funny-newspaper-headlines.jpg)
Ok Lunchtime is over time to get back to work!
(http://itthing.com/wp-content/uploads/glad_hunter3.jpg)
(http://itthing.com/wp-content/uploads/fun6.jpg)
(http://itthing.com/wp-content/uploads/UNSET.png)
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on June 30, 2012, 02:06:51 AM
(http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/062010/in-the-news.jpg)
Winner!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/18666155
Not really in the spirit of the thread thus far, but an important headline about a great sport.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jaVrXN42sXY/TxWThtCaXWI/AAAAAAAAHwo/V3sv-73PvcU/s1600/Belfast%2BTelegraph.GIF)
(http://cdn.list25.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/morgue.jpg)
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bkFIPLIOGL8/SGBsxZPG5pI/AAAAAAAAO9Q/nUExlQCMpIY/s400/one-armed.jpg)
Relating to Young Boys of Berne about 3 or 4 years ago and their efforts to get a new stand in their Wankdorf stadium ready for the new season, Eurosport had:
"Young Boys Wankdorf erection problems"
Followed on successful completion by:
"Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief"
Quote from: tyssam5 on July 02, 2012, 07:41:03 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/18666155
Not really in the spirit of the thread thus far, but an important headline about a great sport.
QuoteTeam GB qualified as hosts for the event, which starts on 28 July
I think I am going to come down with a touch of the cold that day, would't be fair to go into work and potentially spread it...ah well. ;)
(http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/uu206/Hardyarse/weeklyworldnews1.png)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sY9FRN6Xib4/S7OBSmZdK7I/AAAAAAAAQT4/3u_vCT7z4Kk/s1600/dirty_newspaper_headline_20100330_1741165953.jpg)
(http://goinswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/catchy-headlines.jpg)
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MIYxYaXaY-A/TaCbavtS9gI/AAAAAAAADrE/9ofWkjilbA4/s1600/BeeHeadlineHomeless.jpg)
(http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/btb/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/6a00e552e19fa38833010536c38fbb970c-800wi.jpg)
(http://forestparkforums.com/uploads/5/fail-owned-condom-truck.jpg)
"Sign on you crazy Diamond" by the Sun the other day was pretty good.
Quote from: Minder on July 05, 2012, 11:22:29 PM
"Sign on you crazy Diamond" by the Sun the other day was pretty good.
It is a bit special alright...
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6dihxNvLg1qguyo7o1_500.jpg)
Quote from: Tony Baloney on July 06, 2012, 12:20:13 AM
Quote from: Minder on July 05, 2012, 11:22:29 PM
"Sign on you crazy Diamond" by the Sun the other day was pretty good.
It is a bit special alright...
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6dihxNvLg1qguyo7o1_500.jpg)
Good one but I think it has already been mentioned in this thread!
Always loved the one printed after the payments that Charlie Haughey had received from Ben Dunne were discovered.
One of the headlines was: Ben there, Dunne that, Bought the Taoiseach.
Quote from: BarryBreensBandage on July 10, 2012, 10:48:09 PM
Always loved the one printed after the payments that Charlie Haughey had received from Ben Dunne were discovered.
One of the headlines was: Ben there, Dunne that, Bought the Taoiseach.
Never heard of that one before - that's genuis!
http://www.rte.ie/sport/soccer/international/2012/0920/338351-irelands-warm-up-tie-in-hungary-not-recognised/ (http://www.rte.ie/sport/soccer/international/2012/0920/338351-irelands-warm-up-tie-in-hungary-not-recognised/)
Duff's got 99 caps, but Hungary ain't one.
Decent.
Don't know how to add atttachments but the Daily Star had a great one last year at the time of the first bailout of Biffo, Mary Coughlan, Brian Lenihan & Co, under the headline
'USELESS GOBSHITES'
But the Daily Star's greatest moment was the photo of George W Bush, Tony Blair, Burlesconi, Vladmir Putin, the Japanese PM, the French PM, all the worlds leaders pissing themselves laughing at Berties canary suit.
'WELL YELLOW THERE BERTIE'
'World leaders stunned by Taoiseach's pants'
Have to hand it to the Sun for their Carlos Tevez community service headline:
"Don't Cry For Me Argie Cleaner"
Quote from: BarryBreensBandage on April 05, 2013, 08:13:29 PM
Have to hand it to the Sun for their Carlos Tevez community service headline:
"Don't Cry For Me Argie Cleaner"
The tooth is I never left you....
Irish American cannibal attacks mother in bath and eats her thumb
http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Irish-American-cannibal-attacks-mother-in-bath-and-eats-her-thumb-184347361.html?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=content&utm_campaign=paid (http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Irish-American-cannibal-attacks-mother-in-bath-and-eats-her-thumb-184347361.html?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=content&utm_campaign=paid)
Headline in the Ulstet Gazette earlier this year:
"Over £100m! Is this the rail price? Is this just fantasy? Caught up in land buys, No escape from bureaucracy!".
Woman Fingers Ex-Girlfriend In Sex Toy Theft
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/strap-on-dildo-heist-9182345
The good old Sunday Sport in the 80s in the UK.
"Double decker bus found on the moon".
Quote from: Aerlik on July 28, 2013, 06:33:34 PM
The good old Sunday Sport in the 80s in the UK.
"Double decker bus found on the moon".
It was a WWII Bomber that was found on the moon.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Y1gjnpKHv6Y/TZatO8U8hbI/AAAAAAAACOA/-ez7nLYszPw/s400/bomber.jpg)
The bus was found at the South Pole. (//)
That was it. Nothing like the truth getting in the way of a good story.
;)
(http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/uu206/Hardyarse/indofish_zps21bc6495.png) (http://s648.photobucket.com/user/Hardyarse/media/indofish_zps21bc6495.png.html)
Obligatory Indo disclaimer - someone else was using my computer, OK?
Quote from: Hardy on August 12, 2013, 11:52:49 AM
(http://i648.photobucket.com/albums/uu206/Hardyarse/indofish_zps21bc6495.png) (http://s648.photobucket.com/user/Hardyarse/media/indofish_zps21bc6495.png.html)
Obligatory Indo disclaimer - someone else was using my computer, OK?
Are you the new Bard of Dunclug by any chance ?
Ah the memories.
Words of wisdom from Jack Charlton when commenting on a World Cup game:
"It's often hard to score goals from difficult positions."
(http://www.mayogodhelpus.com/gaaboard/marijuana.gif)
(http://www.mayogodhelpus.com/gaaboard/teenage_pregnancy.gif)
Foreglen winning the Derry Intermediate championship............................
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BWEpwyfIEAADJMM.jpg:large)
Incidentally this was the same game that this happened..................
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BV_RqSvCMAADsp6.jpg:large)
(http://edge.liveleak.com/80281E/ll_a_s/2013/Oct/7/LiveLeak-dot-com-6c1_1381171219-poojpg-large.jpeg?d5e8cc8eccfb6039332f41f6249e92b06c91b4db65f5e99818badf974e46dbd7d781&ec_rate=230)
(http://thecrackbox.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/daddydaughtersurprise092332.jpg)
I saw this headline/front page in a newsagent yesterday. The juxtaposition made me smile.
(http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/287x361front/2013-10-30.jpg)
(http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/funny-news-headlines-19.jpg)
The read rubbish bins outside McAnerney's shop in Armagh have big signs saying "This is not a post box"!
Quote from: Tony Baloney on October 31, 2013, 01:38:05 PM
The read rubbish bins outside McAnerney's shop in Armagh have big signs saying "This is not a post box"!
I'm assuming you actually mean "red" then ;)
Iggy's looks a pretty classy joint
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=headless+body+found+in+topless+bar&FORM=HDRSC2#view=detail&id=F9F3A8870CA195483CC28F8DB38B953407CE72DB&selectedIndex=1 (http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=headless+body+found+in+topless+bar&FORM=HDRSC2#view=detail&id=F9F3A8870CA195483CC28F8DB38B953407CE72DB&selectedIndex=1)
Fionntamhnach, any chance you could PM me.
Armagh Gazette:
(http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/67119000/jpg/_67119924_headline.jpg)
Got a full write up on the BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-22220002).
http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/800x600q90/38/wxmf.jpg (http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/800x600q90/38/wxmf.jpg)
http://www.joe.ie/news/current-affairs/pic-incredibly-unfortunate-yet-hilarious-headlinepicture-juxtaposition-in-todays-newry-democrat/
http://shar.es/QtCjm (http://shar.es/QtCjm)
I know what you're at Tele people....
Quote from: BennyHarp on February 04, 2014, 09:11:55 PM
http://www.joe.ie/news/current-affairs/pic-incredibly-unfortunate-yet-hilarious-headlinepicture-juxtaposition-in-todays-newry-democrat/
LOVE what they did there.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/1908174_10202094388538443_23117166_n.jpg)
The reference to the (fudge) Packers in the top left seals the deal.
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/1888580_243327232514520_1827557253_n_zpsb904b6b1.jpg)
From joe.ie and obviously the Newry Democrat.
(http://media.joe.ie/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/gingernewry.jpg)
Worker suffers leg pain after crane drops 800- pound ball on his head
Charlestown
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BgRP1x3IcAEUIWR.jpg)
Courtesy of @_youhadonejob on twitter, some good stuff there.
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/_73050475_mail18_zpsce2e9f88.jpg)
I'm not a fan of the Sun but they do come up with some pretty impressive headlines.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/5464929/Shane-Warne-woos-bra-queen-Michelle-Mone.html
Quote from: BennyHarp on February 24, 2014, 07:50:59 PM
I'm not a fan of the Sun but they do come up with some pretty impressive headlines.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/5464929/Shane-Warne-woos-bra-queen-Michelle-Mone.html
Quite good. Reminds me of the joke:
Q. If a bra is an upper decker flopper stopper, and a jock strap is a lower decker bollock holder, then what to you call a happy-go-lucky oriental person whose father suffers from dysentery?
A. A slap happy Jappie with a crap happy pappie.
Giant 7ft 2in 23-year-old who fired a BB gun through woman's window before stealing Christmas presents and NHS cash in crime spree walks free from court because he is too BIG for prison beds
- Mail Online
Quote from: Hardy on March 27, 2014, 04:15:29 PM
Giant 7ft 2in 23-year-old who fired a BB gun through woman's window before stealing Christmas presents and NHS cash in crime spree walks free from court because he is too BIG for prison beds
- Mail Online
I was out of breath after reading that!
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_156026365074641_zpsgezxqiw7.jpeg)
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_221397030225570_zps4bndaysr.jpeg)
Quote from: ziggysego on March 28, 2014, 11:11:45 PM
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_156026365074641_zpsgezxqiw7.jpeg)
That's a cracker.
(http://cdn3.list25.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/diana.jpg)
(http://www.holdthefrontpage.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/headgirl.jpg)
Nasty.....
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bl25aegIIAEMxSl.jpg:large)
Quote from: muppet on April 22, 2014, 11:05:20 PM
Nasty.....
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bl25aegIIAEMxSl.jpg:large)
Thought that was banned/ injuncted?
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmPDJ5iIQAARzTG.jpg:large)
http://www.breakingnews.ie/world/us-inmate-dies-after-botched-execution-attempt-629147.html
US Inmate dies after Botched Execution Attempt.
Cabra man who shot himself in leg gets eight years for attempted murder
http://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/cabra-man-who-shot-himself-in-leg-gets-eight-years-for-attempted-murder-630323.html
Was Cheddar Bob from Cabra? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBOXTcSXcyA
(http://f1.thejournal.ie/media/2014/05/lasagne-everywhere.jpg)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BudrOtIIgAALcNC.jpg:large)
Tuesdays Irish Sun.
Former Minister in near miss "I nearly Shatter myself"
'I Like Tits Daily' among bizarre Twitter accounts followed by David Cameron's office
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/i-like-tits-daily-among-bizarre-twitter-accounts-followed-by-david-camerons-office-9656318.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/i-like-tits-daily-among-bizarre-twitter-accounts-followed-by-david-camerons-office-9656318.html)
Eddie hamster ate my Starr.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bv87tQGIIAAyxdW.jpg:large)
I suppose a bus shelter is more the thing in Derry.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BwxBCOiCIAAQ6jE.jpg)
Did they mean - attacked by a fan?
Australian Wild Pig Drinks 18 Beers, Gets in Fight with Cow
http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/3981/20130914/australian-wild-pig-drinks-18-beers-gets-fight-cow.htm (http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/3981/20130914/australian-wild-pig-drinks-18-beers-gets-fight-cow.htm)
http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/25/torquay-united-mascot-gilbert-the-gull-calls-fans-cs-and-offers-to-fight-them-4920827/ (http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/25/torquay-united-mascot-gilbert-the-gull-calls-fans-cs-and-offers-to-fight-them-4920827/)
Looks like they gave him a good send off!
(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b387/lecale2/IMG_4874.jpg)
Quote from: Lecale2 on October 26, 2014, 10:13:11 AM
Looks like they gave him a good send off!
(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b387/lecale2/IMG_4874.jpg)
He has been having a good send off for a few years.
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on June 30, 2012, 02:06:51 AM
(http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/062010/in-the-news.jpg)
One time when Thatcher (spit, stamp on grave) was having a bit of a tiff with the EU, and especially Jacques DeLors (which he won), the Sun ran the headline:
"She fought DeLors, and DeLors won".
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/northernireland/11414130/Gerry-Adams-trampolines-naked-with-his-dog.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/northernireland/11414130/Gerry-Adams-trampolines-naked-with-his-dog.html)
Gerry Adams trampolines naked with his dog
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-CA-K7CEAEBm_O.jpg)
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 19, 2015, 10:15:14 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-CA-K7CEAEBm_O.jpg)
I'd say George was secretly gutted at the apology!
After Frank McGuigans 11 points in the 1984 Ulster final one of the local papers went with "Armagh has the Cardinal but Tyrone has the King."
There has to be a better headline there somewhere?
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/fanny-sweden-turned-away-sainsburys-5191776 (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/fanny-sweden-turned-away-sainsburys-5191776)
Ok not a newspaper but a news site:
Micro-pig called Frances Bacon gets pub booze ban after stealing pints
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/32050503 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/32050503)
Not often the Irish Times would be on this thread but his is a good one:
http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/district-court/curfew-for-one-legged-man-who-loses-the-run-of-himself-1.2316068 (http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/district-court/curfew-for-one-legged-man-who-loses-the-run-of-himself-1.2316068)
Curfew for one-legged man who 'loses the run of himself'
BBC
Gazza brings an ostrich to training at Spurs: http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33098985 (http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33098985)
About Dick Advocaat avoiding relegation with Sunderland:
Dick stays up
http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22813:judge-not-hoodwinked-by-high-jinks&catid=23:news&Itemid=46&utm_content=buffer7c4da&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Judge not hoodwinked by high Jinks
A judge has convicted a man for driving on a public road with agricultural diesel in his jeep.
Judge Mary Devins convicted Noel Jinks of Upper Mullaghmore, Cliffoney, Co Sligo, appeared before Castlebar District Court on Friday last.
Mr Jinks had previously appeared in court last April where he claimed his nephew 'must have been smoking that morning' and put green diesel in his uncle's jeep by accident.
Colin Jinks, the nephew, told the court in April that he was 'heavily stoned on weed' that morning and picked up the wrong can when his uncle asked him to put diesel in his jeep.
He said he offered to give his uncle €1,500 to help pay the fine but his uncle would not accept it as Colin Jinks was borrowing it off 'money lenders' in Sligo.
Jinks said he remembered which can he put in, a blue can, and his uncle subsequently told him that was the wrong can. State solicitor Vincent Deane put it to Colin Jinks that he was 'very clear about what happened' even though he was 'heavily stoned'.
Vincent Deane argued that the reading showed a concentration of 105 per cent marked diesel in the sample, meaning there was no normal diesel mixed with the green diesel at all. Colin Jinks said he thought he remembered his uncle telling him the fuel was very low in the jeep. Vincent Deane said it was easy to be 'cynical about the chain of events'.
Judge Devins adjourned the case until last Friday to allow her to consider the question of 'credibility'.
She ruled against Mr Jinks, stating that the fact that the entire contents of his jeep's fuel tank was green diesel meant it was unlikely to be a case of his tank just being topped up by his nephew.
Mr Jinks was detected having green diesel in his jeep at a Customs and Excise checkpoint in Kilkelly, Co Mayo on April 16, 2014. Mr Jinks said he was in Mayo that day to collect an injured donkey, in his role as a horse welfare officer.
Judge Devins convicted Noel Jinks and fined him €5,000, but mitigated this fine down to €2,500.
Quote from: 93-DY-SAM on September 30, 2015, 11:37:37 PM
http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22813:judge-not-hoodwinked-by-high-jinks&catid=23:news&Itemid=46&utm_content=buffer7c4da&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Judge not hoodwinked by high Jinks
A judge has convicted a man for driving on a public road with agricultural diesel in his jeep.
Judge Mary Devins convicted Noel Jinks of Upper Mullaghmore, Cliffoney, Co Sligo, appeared before Castlebar District Court on Friday last.
Mr Jinks had previously appeared in court last April where he claimed his nephew 'must have been smoking that morning' and put green diesel in his uncle's jeep by accident.
Colin Jinks, the nephew, told the court in April that he was 'heavily stoned on weed' that morning and picked up the wrong can when his uncle asked him to put diesel in his jeep.
He said he offered to give his uncle €1,500 to help pay the fine but his uncle would not accept it as Colin Jinks was borrowing it off 'money lenders' in Sligo.
Jinks said he remembered which can he put in, a blue can, and his uncle subsequently told him that was the wrong can. State solicitor Vincent Deane put it to Colin Jinks that he was 'very clear about what happened' even though he was 'heavily stoned'.
Vincent Deane argued that the reading showed a concentration of 105 per cent marked diesel in the sample, meaning there was no normal diesel mixed with the green diesel at all. Colin Jinks said he thought he remembered his uncle telling him the fuel was very low in the jeep. Vincent Deane said it was easy to be 'cynical about the chain of events'.
Judge Devins adjourned the case until last Friday to allow her to consider the question of 'credibility'.
She ruled against Mr Jinks, stating that the fact that the entire contents of his jeep's fuel tank was green diesel meant it was unlikely to be a case of his tank just being topped up by his nephew.
Mr Jinks was detected having green diesel in his jeep at a Customs and Excise checkpoint in Kilkelly, Co Mayo on April 16, 2014. Mr Jinks said he was in Mayo that day to collect an injured donkey, in his role as a horse welfare officer.
Judge Devins convicted Noel Jinks and fined him €5,000, but mitigated this fine down to €2,500.
;D ;D
High Jinks couldn't see Clear??
Quote from: omaghjoe on October 01, 2015, 12:04:24 AM
Quote from: 93-DY-SAM on September 30, 2015, 11:37:37 PM
http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22813:judge-not-hoodwinked-by-high-jinks&catid=23:news&Itemid=46&utm_content=buffer7c4da&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Judge not hoodwinked by high Jinks
A judge has convicted a man for driving on a public road with agricultural diesel in his jeep.
Judge Mary Devins convicted Noel Jinks of Upper Mullaghmore, Cliffoney, Co Sligo, appeared before Castlebar District Court on Friday last.
Mr Jinks had previously appeared in court last April where he claimed his nephew 'must have been smoking that morning' and put green diesel in his uncle's jeep by accident.
Colin Jinks, the nephew, told the court in April that he was 'heavily stoned on weed' that morning and picked up the wrong can when his uncle asked him to put diesel in his jeep.
He said he offered to give his uncle €1,500 to help pay the fine but his uncle would not accept it as Colin Jinks was borrowing it off 'money lenders' in Sligo.
Jinks said he remembered which can he put in, a blue can, and his uncle subsequently told him that was the wrong can. State solicitor Vincent Deane put it to Colin Jinks that he was 'very clear about what happened' even though he was 'heavily stoned'.
Vincent Deane argued that the reading showed a concentration of 105 per cent marked diesel in the sample, meaning there was no normal diesel mixed with the green diesel at all. Colin Jinks said he thought he remembered his uncle telling him the fuel was very low in the jeep. Vincent Deane said it was easy to be 'cynical about the chain of events'.
Judge Devins adjourned the case until last Friday to allow her to consider the question of 'credibility'.
She ruled against Mr Jinks, stating that the fact that the entire contents of his jeep's fuel tank was green diesel meant it was unlikely to be a case of his tank just being topped up by his nephew.
Mr Jinks was detected having green diesel in his jeep at a Customs and Excise checkpoint in Kilkelly, Co Mayo on April 16, 2014. Mr Jinks said he was in Mayo that day to collect an injured donkey, in his role as a horse welfare officer.
Judge Devins convicted Noel Jinks and fined him €5,000, but mitigated this fine down to €2,500.
;D ;D
High Jinks couldn't see Clear??
Young Jinks wasn't the only one smoking that morning.
There must be a great headline here involving Julian Dicks and West Ham Ladies.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34465984 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34465984)
Quote from: Orior on October 07, 2015, 05:12:49 PM
There must be a great headline here involving Julian Dicks and West Ham Ladies.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34465984 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34465984)
Hammer's women attack Hunt - Girls discharged by Nurse - receive comfort from Dicks.
(http://i100.independent.co.uk/image/28816-wfrksg.jpg)
Quote from: laoislad on October 08, 2015, 06:21:46 PM
(http://i100.independent.co.uk/image/28816-wfrksg.jpg)
(https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fthiswastv.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F10%2Fbasil_eye.png&f=1)
There has to be a better headline somewhere, but still interesting:
Witch Deirdre Wadding aims to be first pagan TD in Dail (http://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/politics/witch-deirdre-wadding-aims-first-6717801)
(http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/attachment.php?attachmentid=375088&d=1452887361)
(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13237807_1048677495207695_1434032724103378054_n.jpg?oh=dafc0657beb0fc0ca28ceb90033c3b5a&oe=579E5DD4)
Quote from: Never beat the deeler on January 17, 2016, 01:01:33 PM
(http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/attachment.php?attachmentid=375088&d=1452887361)
This has happened to me on more than one occasion.
(https://asset-1.soupcdn.com/asset/16096/8061_176e.jpeg)
http://www.mayonews.ie/news/28099-farmer-denies-trying-to-bite-sergeant-s-testicles
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtcYeU-XgAAqWV5.jpg:small)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/11/02/woman-seriously-burned-after-fart-catches-fire-during-surgery/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/11/02/woman-seriously-burned-after-fart-catches-fire-during-surgery/)
Woman seriously burned after fart catches fire during surgery
Erik Lamela denies dead dog is the reason for his continued absence http://the42.ie/3203711
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-40735815
Police in the US state of Maine have arrested a drunk, one-armed clown who was brandishing a machete.
Foxy gets about.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/09/18/man-shot-dead-after-police-find-him-eating-corpse-of-woman-hed-beheaded-6936875/
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/01/23/dead-woman-gives-birth-on-eve-of-funeral/23341111/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_2472494&ncid=txtlnkusaolp00001361
Rubby scumbags showing their true colours.
At least us " Gah" bogmen can be let out.
https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/four-men-arrested-over-clash-following-schools-rugby-match-36553984.html
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/FB_IMG_1517789955617_zpstqjp1zsd.jpg)
;D those last 2 are very good.
https://www.indy100.com/article/blind-bisexual-polyamorous-goose-thomas-new-zealand-henry-black-swan-wellington-bird-rehabilitation-8202691?utm_source=indy&utm_medium=top5&utm_campaign=i100
Front page of today's Tyrone Herald.
(http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k389/quantumleaping/Mobile%20Uploads/Screenshot_2018-03-19-14-52-49_zps8slj6jwo.jpg)
One today Chilli Wrong Kearney.
From the Belfast Tele.
Man who pooed on police station counter caught in Northern Ireland wearing stolen hat
https://m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/man-who-pooed-on-police-station-counter-caught-in-northern-ireland-wearing-stolen-hat-36796379.html
What a difference 45 years makes
(http://i65.tinypic.com/34hf9xf.jpg)
Quote from: armaghniac on April 24, 2018, 09:06:26 PM
What a difference 45 years makes
(http://i65.tinypic.com/34hf9xf.jpg)
:D
Hardy first in line to face Taylor in Brooklyn while Cork fight emerges as wildcard future option
http://www.the42.ie/katie-taylor-next-fight-3-4049102-Jun2018/ (http://www.the42.ie/katie-taylor-next-fight-3-4049102-Jun2018/)
Quote from: The Boy Wonder on June 03, 2018, 12:17:26 PM
Hardy first in line to face Taylor in Brooklyn while Cork fight emerges as wildcard future option
http://www.the42.ie/katie-taylor-next-fight-3-4049102-Jun2018/ (http://www.the42.ie/katie-taylor-next-fight-3-4049102-Jun2018/)
Surely that's not our tennis playing, Royal loving, octogenarian, Fearon fan, level headed and secret gaa board admin Hardy?
(Goes off to check link)
Uranus Examiner: Local newspaper stirs controversy
A small town in the US state of Missouri is stirring controversy after announcing the title of its new local newspaper, the Uranus Examiner.
The newspaper, which was "launched" in the town of Uranus on Wednesday, was threatened with a boycott by the mayor of nearby Waynesville, Luge Hardman.
"No. I'm sorry. But the innuendo of that title puts the city up for public ridicule," Ms Hardman said.
The people of Uranus, in Pulaski County, are divided on the issue.
Natalie Sanders, who has been named as the newspaper's managing editor, told local news channel KY3 that the title was carefully considered before a decision was made.
"We had thought about 'constitution', but most of the people who love us, and who were part of coming up with the name, liked the examiner better," Ms Sanders reportedly said.
It comes just a week after another Missouri newspaper, the Waynseville Daily Guide, ceased publication. The Uranus Examiner publishers said this left a hole in the market.
"People who wanted an actual newspaper were not going to get one anymore, so we decided to turn a fun newspaper into a real one," Ms Sanders told the Wichita Eagle, a newspaper in neighbouring Kansas.
Quote from: BennyHarp on September 15, 2018, 07:36:28 AM
Uranus Examiner: Local newspaper stirs controversy
A small town in the US state of Missouri is stirring controversy after announcing the title of its new local newspaper, the Uranus Examiner.
The newspaper, which was "launched" in the town of Uranus on Wednesday, was threatened with a boycott by the mayor of nearby Waynesville, Luge Hardman.
"No. I'm sorry. But the innuendo of that title puts the city up for public ridicule," Ms Hardman said.
The people of Uranus, in Pulaski County, are divided on the issue.
Natalie Sanders, who has been named as the newspaper's managing editor, told local news channel KY3 that the title was carefully considered before a decision was made.
"We had thought about 'constitution', but most of the people who love us, and who were part of coming up with the name, liked the examiner better," Ms Sanders reportedly said.
It comes just a week after another Missouri newspaper, the Waynseville Daily Guide, ceased publication. The Uranus Examiner publishers said this left a hole in the market.
"People who wanted an actual newspaper were not going to get one anymore, so we decided to turn a fun newspaper into a real one," Ms Sanders told the Wichita Eagle, a newspaper in neighbouring Kansas.
Should have called it the Daily Planet.
Not quite a newspaper headline, but still
(https://i.imgur.com/dScitA7.jpg)
Not sure if this headline has been covered on this thread - probably has as it's a classic!!
When Inverness Caledonian Thistle beat Celtic in John Barnes' era in the Scottish Cup at home - a huge shock at the time.
The headline the next day in one of the red tops was:
Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious!
(supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
Not newspaper, but still hilarious ;D
Government scraps online 'porn block' plans after law hits kinks
https://news.sky.com/story/government-scraps-online-porn-block-plans-after-law-hits-kinks-11837055 (https://news.sky.com/story/government-scraps-online-porn-block-plans-after-law-hits-kinks-11837055)
https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/soccer/new-study-shows-alarming-rate-of-dementia-in-former-footballers-1.4057899
"New study shows alarming rate of dementia in former footballers"
But it's not GAA players. It's soccer players
Quote from: seafoid on October 22, 2019, 08:27:36 AM
https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/soccer/new-study-shows-alarming-rate-of-dementia-in-former-footballers-1.4057899
"New study shows alarming rate of dementia in former footballers"
But it's not GAA players. It's soccer players
It would be interesting to see if the change in the balls from big heavy leather balls that soaked in a load of water to the new lighter synthetic ones makes a positive change.
I was gonna post the front pages of all the Australian newspapers yesterday, but unfortunately everything is redacted.
Quote from: Orior on October 22, 2019, 12:25:10 PM
I was gonna post the front pages of all the Australian newspapers yesterday, but unfortunately everything is redacted.
What was the content?
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EJH7kS8WwAgXbRW?format=jpg&name=small)
Quote from: 93-DY-SAM on November 12, 2019, 11:34:13 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EJH7kS8WwAgXbRW?format=jpg&name=small)
Imagine being the poor man in the photo above that headline.
Quote from: mouview on October 22, 2019, 12:29:13 PM
Quote from: Orior on October 22, 2019, 12:25:10 PM
I was gonna post the front pages of all the Australian newspapers yesterday, but unfortunately everything is redacted.
What was the content?
Good one.
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on June 30, 2012, 02:06:51 AM
(http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/062010/in-the-news.jpg)
Is this doing the rounds again? It's on page 1.
Quote from: Ambrose on November 12, 2019, 07:04:03 PM
Quote from: Donnellys Hollow on June 30, 2012, 02:06:51 AM
(http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/062010/in-the-news.jpg)
Is this doing the rounds again? It's on page 1.
Certainly looks that way, doesn't it.