My little blonde moment...D'Oh

[irunthev]

Back when I was an apprentice I was drilling through a wall for what seemed like forever,especially as it was only a 4" wall.
I pulled the drill bit back out when the next thing a trickle of water came from the hole which then led to a good flow of water coming out of the hole.
Turns out I had drilled through the copper hot water cylinder at the other side of the wall.. 

Managed to do that on the third floor of my mate's house with a saw while ripping up bits of ply. Thought the damage was limited until the water started dripping through the light fittings on the ground floor and on to the computer below. Spent twenty minutes trying to find the stop valve under for the mains without realising that there was one about two feet away from where I was standing.

[screenmachine]

I think Sideline told me this one about his Da, though correct me if I'm wrong Sideline.

Sideline Snr went into KFC one day and couldn't decide what to get, so he decides to just go for a Big Mac...

[SLIGONIAN]

When I was learning how to drive, I thought I did everything to perfection, had my foot on the clutch and bit of gas, and let off the handbrake, I kept pressing the gas and I said why the fck is this thing not moving. Son because you have your foot on the brake.

My Dad cooking dinner for us a few yrs ago Mum said cook the cabbage in the fridge, sound, Mum comes home that evening sees the cabbage in the firdge still, what did ye have for dinner, Dad says cabbage, but it turned out he cooked lettuce ....we ate it and didnt know...

I once was sent on a wild goose chase for a Left handed hammer ,











for 1 hr....till I figgered out..

[gawa316]

Back in the days of the troubles, it was reported on the news that the cops had found a 1000lb bomb.

To which my mates sister asked, 'How do they know how much it cost?'

[gerrykeegan]

I had just come back from the world Cup in Japan and was telling the lad I worked with how long and tough the journey was. He opened his desk diary and was looking at the world map, what about the Americans he said they had miles more to travel. I left him have a little think about it and then mentioned that it had been discovered that the World was round!

[Never beat the deeler]

Went to a concert once and as we were going in, security were taking the lids off all plastic water bottles.

Girl next to me asks why, so I say 'I suppose its so ya cant use it as a missile and fire it up on stage'

She goes 'Dont be stupid, a bottle cap wouldnt hurt'

[The Subbie]

Meself and herself were heading to Wexford for a wedding and decided to make a weekend of it and stay the fri and sat, asked one of the wexford lads for a good hotel, he said its between Whites and the Talbot, got the two of them up on seperate pages to book and booked Whites,on arriving in Wexford headed to the Talbot, up to the desk in reception, hello i've a room booked, blah blah blah
no you don't, yes i do, take a seat we'll check, you better check quick i'm after driving from Monaghan, got a bit more thick,

have a seat and we'll bring you a cup of tea, don't worry about tea just want the room that i've booked and paid for, got thicker, i got up to head for the internet to check me confirmation e mail and the wee receptionist came over all sweet " your actually booked into Whites MrSubbie they are waiting for you.

I left herself there and went direct for the car, head down make eye contact with no hoor.

[the Deel Rover]

Back when I was an apprentice I was drilling through a wall for what seemed like forever,especially as it was only a 4" wall.
I pulled the drill bit back out when the next thing a trickle of water came from the hole which then led to a good flow of water coming out of the hole.
Turns out I had drilled through the copper hot water cylinder at the other side of the wall.. 

good man LL

[The Watcher Pat]

Fell asleep upstaris in the local bar about 11 on a sunday night...Woke up about 3 or so and set off all the alarms...

Landlord of bar woke up came up stairs and asked me what i'm doing.....said" sure you know Patsy i was talking to you earlier I'm down to watch the match"....about 12 hrs earlier!!!!lol

[ONeill]

Went through a horrendous period of blunders around 2002-2004. The worst was probably coming home one night rightly inebriated after school and for some reason turned on the hot water tap in the kitchen before I headed to bed. Woke up the next morning, or rather she did, to find the kitchen flooded. Had to get the floor re-tiled as they were floating whilst the cupboards were completely distorted through expansion. That was a tough, tough time.

Followed that up with a clinker. As a belated honeymoon we booked our first trip to Rome. The day before the journey, having packed, I went to look for my passport. Nowhere to be seen. Jaysus i paid for that for weeks. Some kind fellow jumped in and booked us a free weekend away in Derrybeg. Sitting in the pouring rain in a pub in Donegal watching a ROI friendly was a bit of a step down for her.

Also around that time I pished in a priest's bed and called my wife another blade's name but they were minor in comparison.

[SidelineKick]

I think Sideline told me this one about his Da, though correct me if I'm wrong Sideline.

Sideline Snr went into KFC one day and couldn't decide what to get, so he decides to just go for a Big Mac...

Almost Screenmachine, he went to KFC and asked for "a McChicken sandwich"

[scud]

Best one I've witnessed in recent memory was an encounter between me, my boss and a (blonde) female colleague.

Boss was at that Tyrone v Dublin league game in croker which had the fireworks at it. He came in on monday morning and was chatting to me about the match, saying how spectacular the fireworks were, fantastic show, stadium looked wonderful etc and a short conversation ensued about how croker is such a credit to an amateur organisation .....

Colleague pipes up, 'Oh that sounds lovely, is it a new stadium?'

I felt embarrassed for her. Boss managed not to laugh, fair play to him!

[Tony Baloney]

Went through a horrendous period of blunders around 2002-2004. The worst was probably coming home one night rightly inebriated after school and for some reason turned on the hot water tap in the kitchen before I headed to bed. Woke up the next morning, or rather she did, to find the kitchen flooded. Had to get the floor re-tiled as they were floating whilst the cupboards were completely distorted through expansion. That was a tough, tough time.

Followed that up with a clinker. As a belated honeymoon we booked our first trip to Rome. The day before the journey, having packed, I went to look for my passport. Nowhere to be seen. Jaysus i paid for that for weeks. Some kind fellow jumped in and booked us a free weekend away in Derrybeg. Sitting in the pouring rain in a pub in Donegal watching a ROI friendly was a bit of a step down for her.

Also around that time I pished in a priest's bed and called my wife another blade's name but they were minor in comparison.

I can't let that one pass. Explain please!

[Doogie Browser]

Was in Corfu many years ago and was mucking about at the pool pushing my mates into the water, general horseplay etc.  Anyway one of my mates walked past me and shoved me into the pool in front of a load of girls so my pride was severly dented.  Out I got raging and seeking retribution, so I waited patiently and I seen my mate leaning over the pool so walked past him and toed him up the hole pushing him into the pool in the process, the problem was I wasn't wearing my glasses and I actually had fucked some random german tourist into the water who was wearing same style shorts as my mate    Cue loads of arm waving as diplomatic relations were strained for a while!

[T Fearon]

Shane, surely your lowest point was admitting to reading Paidi O'Se's Autobiogrpahy on your honeymoon? We all thought that there might have been one or two other activities you could have engaged in to while away the time