Things that make you go What the F**k?

[Farrandeelin]

No make up selfies for cancer awareness. I think we're all well aware of cancer at this stage and the dangers of it...

[orangeman]

Stun gun used by Derry man 'for back pain'A barrister has told a court his client used a high-powered stun gun on himself to try to alleviate chronic back pains he has suffered for years.

Hugh Brolly, 56, from Old City Court in the Brandywell area of Londonderry, appeared at the city's magistrates court on Wednesday.

He pleaded guilty to possessing the stun gun, contrary to the 2004 firearms act.

Brolly was stopped at a police checkpoint on 19 July 2013.

Inside his car, police found a box that contained a K95 stun gun.

He was arrested and during a police interview admitted possessing the weapon.



His lawyer said Brolly did "not have a propensity for violent conduct nor had he been engaged in any illegal activity in relation to the stun gun".

"On the face of it his explanation may seem bizarre to say the least," he said.

"However it transpired that he has had significant back problems for a number of years.

"Through research he learnt that the injection or generation of an electrical pulse into his ceased back muscles created an alleviation of the pain.
"While it does sound bizarre, he has used this device as an unorthodox method of pain relief for his ongoing and significant back problems."

Judge Barney McElholm said that the K95 stun gun was, according to a forensic report, a high-powered weapon that discharged between 12,000 and 18,000 volts.

He said that while muscle spasms could be treated by the use of muscle activators, it was not advisable to use a stun gun for that purpose.

He imposed a fine of £750 and ordered the destruction of the stun gun.

Brolly, who has 18 previous convictions and receives £1,100 in benefits per month, was given six months to pay the fine.
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[armaghniac]

Somebody trying to get into Trinity without going through the CAO



A man has been arrested after the gates of Trinity College Dublin were damaged when a car crashed through them this morning.

The car drove through the front gate following a cleaning van that was entering the college, according to a statement from Trinity.

Security staff from the college pursued the car, which was then driven back towards the front gate.
The car rammed the gates, which had been closed by security, a number of times before breaking through.
It was then driven up Dawson Street where a number of other cars were damaged.
The car was stopped by gardaí and a 68-year-old man was arrested.
He is being held at Store Street Garda Station

[LeoMc]

9 month old boy charged with attempted murder!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-26887186

[Minder]

Pakistan: Nine-month-old boy accused of planning murder
By News from Elsewhere...
...media reports from around the world, found by BBC Monitoring
4 April 2014 Last updated at 12:25

A nine-month-old boy has appeared in court in Pakistan on charges of planning a murder, threatening police and interfering in state affairs, it appears.

Baby Muhammad Mosa Khan is one of more than 30 people facing charges after a police raid to catch suspected gas thieves in the city of Lahore, The News website reports. Police say the suspects tried to murder security officers by pelting them with stones. But the Times of India newspaper quotes the infant's father as saying the group was protesting against an electricity shortage.

The infant appeared in the courtroom sitting on his father's lap and clasping a bottle. He was given bail and the case has been adjourned until 12 April, reports from Lahore say. His father is also among the accused.

The murder charges against a baby have alarmed Punjab's Chief Minister Muhammad Shahbaz Sharif. He has asked for clarification from the province's inspector-general of police and demanded "stern action" against the officials who registered the case.

The assistant superintendant who filed the charges has subsequently been suspended, The Nation website says.

[Orior]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

[haranguerer]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

[johnneycool]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

[muppet]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

As long as he understands this:

"Tha Norlin Airlan Polis-wark
Boord is leukkin tae tak oan
a Heid Offyser furtae jyne tha
PSNI Ontak Guidin Core."

[seafoid]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

As long as he understands this:

"Tha Norlin Airlan Polis-wark
Boord is leukkin tae tak oan
a Heid Offyser furtae jyne tha
PSNI Ontak Guidin Core."

I know that song.
It was Willie McCrea's only British mainland chart hit in 1974 but I can't remember the tune

[AQMP]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

As long as he understands this:

"Tha Norlin Airlan Polis-wark
Boord is leukkin tae tak oan
a Heid Offyser furtae jyne tha
PSNI Ontak Guidin Core."

Surely that should be PSNA??  Polis Servyse Norlin Airlan

[muppet]

I have translated it to Jive just to help some of our foreign readers:

De No'dern Ireland Policin' Bo'd
is seekin' t'appoint some Chief Constable,
to join de PSNI Service Executive Team.
'S coo', bro.

[brokencrossbar1]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

As long as he understands this:

"Tha Norlin Airlan Polis-wark
Boord is leukkin tae tak oan
a Heid Offyser furtae jyne tha
PSNI Ontak Guidin Core."

Surely that should be PSNA??  Polis Servyse Norlin Airlan

Sums up the whole f**king shit-house perfectly with their old madey-uppy language!!!! 

[Orior]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

As long as he understands this:

"Tha Norlin Airlan Polis-wark
Boord is leukkin tae tak oan
a Heid Offyser furtae jyne tha
PSNI Ontak Guidin Core."

Surely that should be PSNA??  Polis Servyse Norlin Airlan

Sums up the whole f**king shit-house perfectly with their old madey-uppy language!!!!

Ulster Scots is actually a cunning and clever plan by Sinn Fein to lure unsuspecting unionists into appearing as complete dick heads to the world. Do you think they will ever catch on?

[muppet]

Job advert - not a joke apparently

http://www.nipolicingboard.org.uk/24.03.14_-_final_version_chief_constable_advert.pdf

Good, because if it is I don't get it?

Would Martin Callinan qualify?

As long as he understands this:

"Tha Norlin Airlan Polis-wark
Boord is leukkin tae tak oan
a Heid Offyser furtae jyne tha
PSNI Ontak Guidin Core."

Surely that should be PSNA??  Polis Servyse Norlin Airlan

Sums up the whole f**king shit-house perfectly with their old madey-uppy language!!!!

Ulster Scots is actually a cunning and clever plan by Sinn Fein to lure unsuspecting unionists into appearing as complete dick heads to the world. Do you think they will ever catch on?

Wool uyt fuk!