Messages

By the way son who said I was from Lurgein! Just because the other half of the 'Deciders' is obviously from that sh*@hole doesnt mean that I am!

Well where the hell are you from IVEDECIDED. Since you tried to copy my username you'll prob want to move to dorty Lurgan too to be beside me

I know you're new on the board and you have come in with a few remarks about several clubs but you have not stated you're own club. (i take it you don't like the Og's from 1 of your comments and you said the O'Rourkes were ugly and all that shite so you don't like Dromintee) Don't tell me you're a Dorty Porty !!!

Is it only people from lurgan who address other grown adults as "son"?

Uladh you are getting a bit picky and annoying, it's only a figure of speech do you need to get you thong in a twist every time someone says something thats not to your liking. I'm sure you South Armagh men have some sayings and phrases that annoy other people too but we don't pick up on it

Benny still plays his club football with Dromintee

Winsam was talking pure manure there, i'll have to clip his wings tonight. Of course he's still playing with Dromintee or he wouldn't be counted as the 1 guy who goes to Louth training. I'm sure he'll have a good reply for this though...

Lads is there any way of watching the races from the internet (in work) and if so would any of you be kind enough to send the link on or tell how i go about it...

A man enters the confessional and says "Bless me father for I have sinned; it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."


The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.

All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the altar.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whispering asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"

The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes".

Seriously that man Caldwell needs released from his duties. He is brutal and so slow it's not even funny. Balde and O Dea are def better defenders somebody pointed that out earlier. As for Samaras he's a good player and should be used more as for who makes way?

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. 

Put your dog and your wife in the boot of your car for an hour.

When you open the boot, who is really happy to see you!

I believe the 2 promoted clubs to the 1st Div will stay up and i think the relegation battle will be as close as the last few years (a few play off's to decide it) Culloville will go down and take your pick with the rest. the 2nd division also looks tasty as there are about 6 clubs with genuine chances of promotion as for relegation "sorry don't get involved that far down as i don't know to much about them" whoever gets the good start to the season and gets the momentum usually wins the leagues.

[The gay test]

The gay test

Self Examination


1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you are a mincer. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. They don't have enough memory to remember all of that crap. A real man only has enough memory to remember types of beer, engine capacities, their favourite sports team's players, and the names of porn stars. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are fond of a bit of bum fun.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer

8. If you have a girl's name, or a name that could be mistaken for a girl's name, like Kelly, Pat, Chris or Terry, then you probably like to play the pink piccolo.

9. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you definitely drop anchor in poo bay

Sligo, Mayo & Ros illdecide. No Rossie women must have been out the week you were down, probably off making a living. The Mayo ones are like a burst bag of silage no need for tractors & lifting devices with those rough Mayo ones around

CORRECT SON. Does Leitrim not appear around there as well???

I was in the Victoria Square Shopping Centre today and think it will really improve the city in all aspects - any thoughts?

I recently left the company who designed it and I'm sick looking at that place already. When you worked on it almost every day for a few years you get bored with it but i have to say it looks the part.

[Its not that far really i can drive from Lurgan to North Roscommon (Ballahadreen) in about 2hrs to 2hrs 15 mins

It's BALLAGHADEREEN and it's in West Ros.

You might see some footballers there though - unlike the rest of Ros

Sorry for my spelling Is it Ballaghadereen that there are 3 or 4 counties all bordering that same area or is it another village a few mile up the road. Can't remember, i worked down there for a week about 8 years ago. Nice spot but the women were as rough as badgers

I'd let you stay in with me but you wouldn't stick my wife's nagging 10 mins

Lads where is the Roscommon game played?

I heard a month or 2 ago that it may be Davitt Park but not sure. Has it been announced yet??

1) So called republican areas - I consider myself a republican but do not wish to be associated with those I regard as having stolen the name while behaving as fascists
2) I have no doubt that the British Goverment have been involved in collusion, cover up etc.  Can you think of any other organisation that might have been involved in similar conduct?
3) Where did I say that all republicans are criminals - I did not - However I will say that some who call themselves such most definately are.

you said that the people living aroung the border in big houses were fuel barrons etc etc