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Topics - seafoid

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Compact, everyone gets the same number of games, interesting developments, relatively few hammerings, difficult to predict in some cases.

GAA Discussion / GAA Revenues
« on: January 31, 2018, 06:01:05 PM »
For such an important institution 65m isn't a lot.....

THE GAA enjoyed a bumper 2017 generating total revenue of €65.6m, an increase of nine percent on the previous year.

The growth was due to a 24 percent increase in attendances at games in the All-Ireland football championship allied to big jump in revenue from the GAA's new media contracts – including their controversial deal with Sky.

A €1.5m increase in gate receipts for the football championship helped pushed the total figure for games under the control of the Central Council to a record €34.4m for the 2017 season. Commercial revenue totalled €19m compared to €17.9m in 2016.

General discussion / Partitionist media
« on: January 05, 2018, 07:57:51 AM »
The forces that keep NI separate from the rest of the island are not just political . Some of the most important are cultural. Partition works by exclusion. 

One company works on both sides of the border to keep the status quo going 
It wouldn't be hard to open things up a bit.

No Nordies in Irish "celebrities" for the ladies.

No southerners in the Northern equivalent

There are exceptions for sports stars and very famous people but at ground level this is how it works.

General discussion / New Years honours list
« on: December 30, 2017, 01:25:58 PM »
Ringo Starr - for services to music
Darcey Bussell - for services to dance
Marc Almond - for services to music
Tony Fearon - for services to hell
Kieran McGeeney - for services to Down
Nigel Dodds -for services to taking the piss
Jeffrey Donaldson for inadvertant service to a united Ireland
Irish Independent - for services to the Royal  Family

GAA Discussion / Indo football rankings by county
« on: December 16, 2017, 11:12:01 AM »

Dubs, MGHU and Kerry in top.3

followed a long way back by Tyrone, Mushroomstan,  Ros, Galway , Donegal, Flour bags and Cork.

GAA Discussion / Ulster football in the future
« on: November 08, 2017, 09:29:24 AM »
Monaghan seem to have peaked. They never made it to the semis.  Donegal have a big reconstruction job to do. Armagh and Down may have turned a corner but need a lot of work. Derry don't seem interested. Cavan need momentum. And Tyrone? What is likely to happen over the next few years? How long before an Ulster Sam?

As a Galway fan I would suggest sidelines over the bar from Ja Fallon

and Joe Canning (it is a bit like watching golf)

 or Donnellan’s fág an bealach solo runs

but that would be biased.

The Conor Gormley  block in 2003.

The ball in to Darby in 1982.

Mikey Sheehy’s goal against Paddy Cullen in 1978.

What else ?

General discussion / N17
« on: September 27, 2017, 02:58:39 PM »
A new motorway joining the hurling and football heartlands of Galway has been unveiled

All they need to do now is sell Pairc na Gaoithe in Salthill to the rubby

GAA Discussion / Seasonal affective Gah emptiness disorder
« on: September 24, 2017, 04:35:49 PM »
Starts towards the end of September. Manifests in the form of boring sports pages and nothing worth talking about, short evenings, wet ground and grey skies.  Sufferers may be forced to subsist on low nutrition substitutes such as autumn rugby internationals. The month of December is particularly difficult whether on or off the porter.
 Patients may suffer delusions in the forms of FBD , O Byrne Cup,etc.  By January they have been known to  even tolerate Ger Canning . The only known cure is the National League.

GAA Discussion / Gaaboard alternative Allstars
« on: September 21, 2017, 11:01:29 AM »
For pre AIF gaiscíocht.

For unlovely counties.
For forgotten deeds.  The anti TSG anti commercial Director

I would suggest :

Enda Smith - Ros
Daniel Flynn -Flourbags
Donie Kingston -Laois
Someone from Mullinalaghta.
Brendan Murphy- Carlow

Born Sloppy

There was a tsunami warning on all coastal waters and on the Irish Sea rising slowly with great vengeance and furious anger and the Department of Finance was down at Paddy Power putting a bet on the farm. You literally couldn’t make it up. Nobody knew what they were doing.  If it was golf he would have been using a colander. That would be ridiculous. But it was finance so anything goes. Nobody cares in Dublin elite circles. As long as you wear a tie.  And don't pronounce s as sh . That would be backward.

Mise Eire collapsed while pitching a sand wedge onto the 9th green of Elm Park Golf club on the 25th of September 2008 as the water rose to her knees. She was rushed in a boat to St Vincents, to the Jesus Mary and St Joseph ward.

It was a huge deal because Mise Eire  had been looking great that afternoon and was in great form, according to Standard and Poors, an old business acquaintance. She was attended by the most eminent surgeons in the country including Mr Biff Taoiseach, an English surgeon called Merrill Lynch, doctors from PWC, Arthur Cox and the AG (short for all grand), and her personal doctor, Pat Neary. Everyone in the room apart from Merrill Lynch and Mise Eire had been to the Gonzaga in their head.

None of them had a notion about financial tail risk. You must be joking. Nobody called Raidio na Gaeltachta either. Sure what would they know beyond in Connemara speaking that dead language. f**king didlyi shite. Sure some of them wouldn’t even know what a CDO squared was.  And none of them had gone to Gonzaga.

We think it was 25 September because there was no date on the memo. They must have been too busy. Yeah. Too busy.

And remembering nothing

The doctors and surgeons were at a loss to explain what was happening. Pat Neary wasn’t even sure Mise Eire was sick. He thought she might just need a few bottles of Lucozade. Nothing to worry about.

D Doyle had been to Gonzaga. He thought it would be good to know how much dopamine mixed with debt Mise Eire’s kids  had been taking over the previous decade. He hadn’t done anything about it before because he was from Dublin and he wouldn’t have a notion what to do about it. Sure how would he? And nobody cared about accountability. It was only f**king culchie money anyway.   

Mise Eire  was responsible for all their drug bills. This was news to her, according to Paul Reynolds who was looking forward to some gory corpses. Three of the boys-  Abe, Boy and Anglo were suspected of mainlining dopamine and crushing it with debt for an even deeper high. 

Drive boy, dog boy
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And AAA rated  boy
And all in your innerspace boy
You had
Hands girl boy
And steel boy
You had dopamine boy
I've grown my balance sheet
so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy

The sons were always claonta to listen to a bit of plámás. Especially if she was blonde and worked in Golem Sachs. Roysh
Everybody in the small room was shocked. Nobody knew they had been taking so much debt and dopamine, apart from Neary . There was no record. Neary didn’t do records. They had to guess.   This is what they always did. Always. Because it was the only way to do it. Fáilte go Baile Atha Cliath. Jaysus.

Samuel Beckett
“This tired, abstract anger –inarticulate passive opposition –always the same thing in Dublin.”

Patrick Kavanagh
“What is distressing is walking eagerly to go nowhere in particular”

Various interventions were discussed. Lucozade, guarantees, nationalist songs and a bad mother approach. RTE’s mother was very interested in old poetry and she always called a guarantee a baránta. About 350 years earlier she had a bit of heart trouble so she went to St Vincents. The head surgeon in St Vincents at the time was a Mr Cromwell, from England, and he wouldn’t let her out of his office unless she agreed to a symphiosotomy. She told him to f**k off even though she could barely walk. Mórtas cine. Mr Cromwell sent her to the Regional in Galway in a handcart. Her personal surgeon , called a file in the style of the time , wrote the following on her medical record :

Féach na Gaeil go leair gan bharánta
‚s ná bígí ag caol faoi dhul siar
Mise Eire  will never die but she wanted to be able to enjoy concerts by the Gloaming again. Plus the Sunday Game. Because she was so old, timeless, she couldn’t be covered by the VHI. She had so many children she didn’t know what to do so she set up a pension fund for them, called the NPRF.  The Department of Finance advised her not to keep it in her shoe in case some tinkers might come and steal it.  Roysh
The Department of Finance is from Dublin, is really dull and very bossy. He thinks he knows everything and there is only one way to do anything, which is his way. DoF went to Gonzaga . He is a hoor for process but he is quite sloppy when it comes to attention to detail. He hangs around with the accountants who think the way he does. 

And remembering nothing boy
You like my tin horn boy and get
Wet like an angel

They decided on a guarantee even though there were no numbers on the back of the fag packet.

Shouting bailout bailout bailout
Mega mega solvency  thing
Mega mega solvency thing
So many things to see and do
In the DoF do not hole true
Blonde going back to Fianna Fail
Bailout  Bailout Bailout going back to Gonzaga
Hi mammy are you having fun
And now are you on your way
To a new tension

Féach na Gaeil go leair gan bharánta
‚s na bígí ag caol faoi dhul siar

This was to fulful Scripture
Later Merrill Lynch was in town and they went for a few pints. Merrill Lynch wanted to update the department of finance on the state of his mother and especially how to pay for her treatment. Merrill Lynch was very earnest. The treatment could be paid for out for convertible capital or upside or downside but the maximum cost would be around EUR 10.5 Bn plus VAT.  Tops. DoF wasn’t listening. He was following the arse of the waitress as it returned to base in the kitchen. ,“Grand” . the Department of Finance was always saying.  “Grand” . Everyone in Dublin says Grand. Or Grond.

And remembering nothing

Nothing to worry about. 
That would be manageable, said Merrill Lynch.
A Finnish chainsaw and amputation expert called Olli Rehn was working in St Vincent’s mother hospital in Brussels on the Husqvarna contract. He was over in Dublin about 2 years later. The Department of finance offered to bring him out to Doheny and Nesbits because there was a cash machine on the way and he could get the EUR 10.5 bn after putting a bet on the farm. 
Olli was a Calvinist. He said he wanted to stay in the office. He wasn’t interested in a pint. He wasn’t interested in tea are you sure or even chocolate Kimberley. Olli was weird. After about 10 minutes he produced the final bill. It was over EUR 100 bn.

The department of finace had a weakness.100 bn would not be manageable.

Labour said our way or Frankfurt’s way. Olli waved the chainsaw at them. That shut Labour up. 
Grand is worth EUR 1000. You would need to say Grand 100 million times to get to EUR 100 bn. If you had an egg. And Sally O’Brien and the way she might look at you.

The department of Finance did the Cath Eachdhroma facepalm.
In Corca Dhúibhne it is called the Cath Chionn Tsáile facepalm
In Machaire Rabhartaigh they call it the Teitheadh na n-Iarla facepalm. 

Mise Eire  didn’t have that kind of money. She doesn’t have that sort of money said the Department of Finance
Olli said that Mise Eire was a distressed agent. He could accept payment either as an arm and a leg of Mise eire  or else she could put it on the credit card as long as she gave him either her first born child, or alternatively, the pension fund of all the children. The NPRF. He waved his chainsaw around for theatrical effect. The tinkers were innocent.

This is what happens when Dublin  is in charge. That is how the NPRF was lost. 

And the Lord looked at it and said “and remembering nothing”. But Finland couldn’t escape deflation either. Nokia collapsed.  Ní uasal agus íseal ach thuas seal agus thíos seal.

If there had been 10 itinerants from Tuam at the meeting instead of the Gonzaga boys there would have been no guarantee . They wouldn't have trusted the banks.

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