GAA Vs Soccer (humorous)

[AbbeySider]

Found this here: http://katzthegingadragonninja.blogspot.com/2006/11/soccer-v-gaa.html
Some are of these are funny... 



25 reasons GAA is better than Soccer

1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his personalised brand of leisure wear

2) GAA nicknames are better (The Bull, The Bomber, etc.) . Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames

3) Laois v Offaly is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to Ronaldo or Sibierski

4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does it

5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the pub

6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew

7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery results

8 ) All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets

9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA

10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like

11) No segregation at GAA games

12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of Carlow

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty

15) The GAA may not appreciate its women as much as it should but at least we all know who Cora Stanunton is. The most famous woman in English soccer is Posh Spice

16) Under age players get to be part of the biggest days in hurling and football at half-time in the All-Ireland.

17) Micheal O'Murchearaigh.

18)If a GAA player ever jumped at a spectator like Eric Cantona did the rest of his team would join in. So would the rest of the crowd.

19)Vinnie Jones grabbed Gascoignes testicles. Paudie O'Se decked Joe McNally during the National Anthem. McNally learnt his lesson. Gascoigne just got worse.

20) The GAA season always leaves you wanting more. The soccer season leaves soccer people demanding less. "Fewer games please"

21) Old soccer players get testimonials, Old GAA players just slip down to junior.

22) Rural villages = A Church, A Post-office, a Pub and a GAA pitch.

23) Pints after the match with the lad you knocked seven lumps of shite out of in the game.

24)Croke park on a Summer's Day.

25)Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Liam or Sam!!

[thewobbler]

I was wondering when this would finally make it's way to the new board.

I understand that this is meant to taken light-heartedly, but still:

1) Extremes will always exist. But they are narrowing.
2) Ryan-er.
3) In both cases, it means more to the fans than the players.
4) How many GAA fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but 30,000 to follow him onto the pitch.
5) The first part may still be true, but the second is fading to memory at a rate of knots
6) But Dennis Wise would kick him repeatedly in the ankles.
7) I'll give you this one. But as shirt numbers and positions no longer correlate in GAA, we both bow down to rugby.
8 ) We shouldn't laugh at a sport that applies sensible rules on equipment.
9) Yes, that's why the 16 first round provincial ties are all played on the one weekend.
10) UCD anyone?
11) No segregation, but a stong anti-ulster current
12) One swallow doesn't make a summer.
13) TG4 Gold for you my friend.
14) There are atrocious matches to watch in both codes.
15) If Cora Staunton passed me on the street I wouldn't know her. Or any other Ladies GAA player for that matter. And I'd like to think of myself as a reasonably knowledgeable Gael.
16) There are mascots, ballboys and ballgirls at every single premiership game.
17) Alan Green.
18) If a spectator ever jumped a ref in soccer, I'd like to think the crowd would hammer the shite out him.
19) Brian McGuigan tripped over Greg McCartan's leg when his team were gettig destroyed. Tyrone won the All-Ireland.
20) People always want more GAA. Until  they watch play-off games in December and wonder why they bother.
21) GAA players retire, play a bit of junior, then go and screw their neighbouring clubs for imparting their knowledge of the game in a managerial position.
22) Rural England is really quite similar. you don't find big championship matches in either.
23) Most players would rather get back to their own club or town drink with their own for all that.
24) Any big stadium anywhere in the world when your team is playing in a big game.
25) Finally, we come to one truism.  Long may it continue.

[Evil Genius]

Found this here: http://katzthegingadragonninja.blogspot.com/2006/11/soccer-v-gaa.html
Some are of these are funny... 



25 reasons GAA is better than Soccer

1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his personalised brand of leisure wear

I just hope the GAA player has washed his hands before he sells me my sausages!

2) GAA nicknames are better (The Bull, The Bomber, etc.) . Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames

Really? Off the top of my head: Norman "Bites Yer Legs" Hunter; "One Size" Fitz Hall; Herman "The Herminator" Hreiddarsson; Khalid "The Cannibal" Boulahrouz; Kevin "Killer" Kilcline; Ted "Tin Man" McMinn; Neil "Razor" Ruddock; Kevin "Zinedine" Kilbane and my current favourite Kiki "Chris" Musampa! (Get someone to explain it to you )

3) Laois v Offaly is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to Ronaldo or Sibierski

It means rather more to them than, er, the Laois v Offaly derby...

4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does it

GAA: Just give the feckin bulb a kick, will ye!

5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the pub

No-one's interested in what GAA players think. As for soccer, the FANS go to the pub, which is quite good enough, thanks.

6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew

Hardly. Bellew would have to give up the chase after the first few hundred yards...

7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery results

Soccer fans don't need to take their socks off to count beyond 10

8 ) All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets

If your legs were worth £5 million quid each, you'd wear shin pads. As for the hurlers who don't wear helmets, I guess it's too late to do any more damage (unless it's too the hurley)

9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA

I love TV. I hated school.

10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like

Seeing as I don't like half the people where I'm from, it suits me!

11) No segregation at GAA games

No atmosphere, either

12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of Carlow

Fans of "The Hatchetmen" might disagree, even though Crusaders is not a bad official name to be going on with. Or "The c**k and Hens" (Glens). Anyway, is there a GAA club anywhere in the world with a better official name than "Crouch End Vampires FC"?

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

Not yet, no. But then they are 30 years behind the times.

14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty

And it would be a bloody miracle in Basketball, but that's still a shit sport and all.

15) The GAA may not appreciate its women as much as it should but at least we all know who Cora Stanunton is. The most famous woman in English soccer is Posh Spice

Does anyone outside of GAA (or her own home) know who Cora Stanunton is? I certainly haven't a clue.

16) Under age players get to be part of the biggest days in hurling and football at half-time in the All-Ireland.

I guess that is a big day for them. Mind you, when they grow up and pass puberty, they'll appreciate that there are other attractions in life. Like soccer.

17) Micheal O'Murchearaigh.

I had to Google Mr. O'Murcheareigh. It brought up "4 Results". After a quarter of an hour.

18)If a GAA player ever jumped at a spectator like Eric Cantona did the rest of his team would join in. So would the rest of the crowd.

Eric didn't need any help.

19)Vinnie Jones grabbed Gascoignes testicles. Paudie O'Se decked Joe McNally during the National Anthem. McNally learnt his lesson. Gascoigne just got worse.

Unfair. (Picking on the two stupidest soccer players ever)

20) The GAA season always leaves you wanting more. The soccer season leaves soccer people demanding less. "Fewer games please"

I always thought the GAA season went on for 15 months a year. Or does it just seem that way?

21) Old soccer players get testimonials, Old GAA players just slip down to junior.

I'd rather have the Testimonial, thank you very much.

22) Rural villages = A Church, A Post-office, a Pub and a GAA pitch.

Unemployment, boredom, incest, depression, emigration. (No soccer pitch, you see)

23) Pints after the match with the lad you knocked seven lumps of shite out of in the game.

Chatting up the girlfriend of the lad you knocked seven lumps of shite out of in the game. (GAA players don't tend to have girlfriends. Or if they do, they look as if the boyfriend has knocked seven lumps of shite outa them)

24)Croke park on a Summer's Day.

Windsor Park anyday.

25)Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Liam or Sam!!

Roman Abramovitch didn't want Liam or Sam. I wonder why?

Oh well, each to his own!  

[Gabriel_Hurl]

Results 1 - 10 of about 13,000 for Michael O'Muircheartaigh. (0.10 seconds)

[tayto]

Someone actually took the time out to reply to each point ... good god ... thats so sad it's funnier then the joke ever was.

[Evil Genius]

Results 1 - 10 of about 13,000 for Michael O'Muircheartaigh. (0.10 seconds)

It was a joke, Gabriel. Anyway, try Googling Beckham or Rooney and see how many you get!

[Farrandeelin]

'I love tv. I hated school'
I suppose that explains it...

[pintsofguinness]

Someone actually took the time out to reply to each point ... good god ... thats so sad it's funnier then the joke ever was.

I agree.

[laoislad]

"Evil Genius" yeah right more like "Harmless Fool" I reckon

[aontroim abu]

if this is your Honest opinion on the GAA, its players and supporters, then what the feck are you doing on this board?

[lynchbhoy]

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

- check out Down minor team 1987

[AbbeySider]

Has anyone else noticed the correlation between the posters who took this humorous post to heart and those that post on the "Non-Gaa Discussion" board.
Reading back on their posts in the other board its fairly obvious that they are more concerned with non-gaa discussions.

I would love to see the other board being scrapped... immediately or at least hosted on some other URL and not "gaaboard.com"

It is a contradiction that posters would defend soccer against Gaa in a post that was marked "Humorous" that was meant to be taken in jest on a Gaa discussion board.

[dubnut]

Spending the time to reply to every one of those points is just so sad its funny.

Plus he obviously HATES the GAA, why bother logging into this site?

I firmly believe there are a small minority who have joined this new board with the sole purpose of wrecking it.

Evil Genius has revealed his true colours for all to see.


Abbeysider, I fully agree, I decided this morning to stay away from the Non Gaa discussions due to it being wrecked by them, unfortunately it seems they are spreading to the GAA part too.

[lynchbhoy]

jeez I dont know if thats aimed at me, but the joke about number 13 is if you ever see a pic of that down minor side, the hairstyles were hilarious.
Funny thing was, being the same vintage-  I also had one !  

I wasnt going to get dragged into arguing the point against soccer - its obv Gaelic games are far superior !

[dubnut]

jeez I dont know if thats aimed at me, but the joke about number 13 is if you ever see a pic of that down minor side, the hairstyles were hilarious.
Funny thing was, being the same vintage-  I also had one !  

Dont think its aimed at you at all Lynchboy

yours Dub-Mutt