Donny Doherty diary in the Irish News

[ardasell]

Maybe I should not be giving this glipe the oxygen of attention, but what is the craic with this pile of absolute trite tripe.  Who gives one shiney shight about the musings of this moran and his "Gah" family.

Two minutes on this board would have unearthed 20 more interesting contributors than this would-be columnist, and I hope his next submission is edited down to the interesting bits, which would take up a hell of a lot less space than the heading and that already-annoying cartoon.

If this is the Irish News getting down with its Gaelic-playing/ loving fanbase, please have a wee rethink.

i know it is easier to ignore it, but it could actually have been a good idea. (maybe it is Fearon weedling his way into a regular slot outside of the letters section)

[red hander]

Yeah, I read this myself last week and thought it was shite.  Gave it another go today and it's still shite.  Saying that, it's not as bad as Maeve Connolly's New York diary, absolutely atrocious, thank God she's on the plane back now...

[john mcgill]

Have to agree I thought it was terrible.  One page that I'll pass over in the future.  I'd rather read Benny Tierney's thoughts on South Armagh women!

[Sky Blue]

Can anybody post it?

[onlyonefut]

Here it is; dreadful stuff from the Irish News

Donny's Diary - Everybody wants to rule the Gah 
Donny's Diary 
By Donny Doherty 

Mum insists that every Saturday we sit down as a family and have a meal together. "We can at least break bread as a family one day a week," she says.

My mum is quite a religious woman and, despite what the old fella thinks, she is definitely the head of the house.

During the week we all eat at different times. Between training for this team and that team I am hardly ever in the house in the evening. Tadgh is off training with the rugger boys or the odd time he might even show his face with the club.

Even Aine, my 17-year-old sister, is out three nights a week. She plays for both club and county in the old Peile na Ban.

Throw in the fact that the old man is off at meetings or matches every night of the week and you can see that our front door is little more than the revolving type.


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It's usually only mum and my other younger sister, Katie, who are in in the house most nights. Katie is only seven, 10 years younger than Aine.

Mum's friends like to call her a present from God. I don't know about that. All I know is that the old man had his own wee private visit to the hospital after she was born.

Anyway, last Saturday we all sat down to dinner and were joined by Tom, our 80-year-old neighbour.

Mum cooks his dinner most days and once or twice a week he will come around to our place.

Tom is mighty craic and loves the Gah. Deaf as a post though and, as he has gotten older, he has lost all sense of how to conduct himself in public – whatever is in his head comes out of his mouth.

As we were all tucking into the spuds the conversation turned to the inevitable.

"So Tom, did you ever think you would see the day that players got paid for the privilege of representing their counties?" the old man shouts across to Tom, although it was clear this barb was not meant for him.

"What?" Tom roared back, "Grant Aid, Tom. The Donny buck here is a big backer of grant aid, pass the butter Katie love."

Tadgh smiled across the table. He was telling me not to rise to the bait but it was too late.

"And what is wrong with grant aid? e1500 da, it's hardly a wage," I spat back across the table.

He had achieved the reaction he wanted, now he was off on one.

"It is the principle that has been lost," he said.

"Go easy on that butter Matt," mum says to him. "You know what the doctor said about your cholesterol."

After a quick glance at mum he stopped with the butter and picked up the salt – stubborn is not the word for him.

He continued on his rant: "We might as well take Rule 11 and put it into the shredder. 'Tis a sad day for dis great association when a player picks up a cheque for playing our games. It would never have happened in my day."

"That man needs a good wash," Tom shouted.



We all looked at him, the old fellow was put off his stride. No-one knew what Tom was talking about but the bemused silence gave Tadgh his chance to stir things up, "Ah come on da. Good old rule 11 was put through the shredder years ago," he said.

"I'm sorry. Is that an egg chaser offering his opinion on matters to do with the greatest sporting organisation in Ireland?" said Da.

"Not that you like to admit it da, but the ban was lifted over 35 years ago and, besides, I am still a member of the GAA and as such have a right to air my views. I can say one thing at least rugby is not coming down with hypocrites."

"Hypocrites! Hypocrites! Don't start me on those rugby boys. Can't even get off their arse and build a stadium to play in. Instead they had to come begging to us.

"I don't even think you could call egg chasing a sport. I mean you tell me any other sport where kicking the ball out gets a round of applause."

To be fair the old man could argue when he got going. It was Tom, however, who added the next nugget to the conversation: "I hate that song too, every year it does my head in."

After more bemused looks, Tadgh returned us all to sane conversation.

"Da, with the greatest of respect, it is people like you who dealt the first blow to the amateur ethos of GAA.

"Five years ago you were on the committee when Ballyvogue decided to pay that cowboy from Tyrone £5000 on top of traveling expenses to take the senior team.

"Grant aid for the players is actually quite tame in comparison and in many ways it was inevitable that it was going to happen."

I rowed in quickly: "Exactly. Why should I bust a gut training and get nothing when it is inter-county football that makes the GAA its money.

"You know the score da, the county team pay the manager, the trainer, the physios, the doctor, the psychologist; everybody is making money off our backs so why should we be the ones getting nothing!"

He was fuming. You could see it on his face. He was against paying that manager five years ago but never spoke up and that annoys him.

He honestly never thought that players would get money for playing inter-county football and deep down he is hurt by the way things have gone. I know he is fierce disappointed that I am going to take the grant money, but what am I to do?

I mean, it is a joke that everyone makes money out of the GAA except the players, but at the same time I never really wanted to strike.

To be honest I don't know what I think about it all. I'm not gonna turn down a free cheque, but at the same time this thing has pissed a lot of people off and I am definitely not a greedy mercenary like some people are saying. I'm doing this column free of charge after all.

To be honest I am looking forward to the McKenna Cup starting and maybe people will talk about something else other than these grants.

Da was finishing the last morsel of his steak and was just about to start again when Tom shouted;

"I know it's effin Christmas, everyone knows its Christmas, but we don't need Sir what's-his-name telling us every damn minute."

The old man was about to lose it.

"What the hell are you on about Tom," he said. Tom looked up, "That Geldof eejit. He has all yous arguing. Why is he stickng his nose into the GAA?"

Da was open mouthed.

"Bob Geldof? We have not been talking about Bob Geldof Tom."

"Yes you have, you said that Donny was a big backer of Band Aid. Donny son, I will give you a few pound for those poor people in Africa, no problem, but I don't wanna listen to that bloody song?"

Everyone fought to contain the laughter.

[tyrone exile]

that is actually the biggest pile of shit i have ever read, is this lad in primary school?

[sam03/05]

it is complete and utter shite. Gave it a chance last week but it is even worse this week.
It reads like something a P7 would write. utter shite.

[sam03/05]

to think that the irish news actually gives up about a page for that garbage is just shocking.

[red hander]

'Everyone fought to contain the laughter.'

Everyone fought to contain the contents of their stomach, more like

[ziggysego]

God, youses are all very critical. The Irish News is just having a bit of fun... can you remember when that was

[Leo]

Has to be part of the children's section ........

[Pangurban]

This is not only Puerile drivel, but is stage irishness at an insulting level. I am thinking of complaining to the Race Relations Board. The Irish News should cease publishing this nonsense immediately. It is neither literate or funny, it strives to attain the level of cringeworthy

[Fear ón Srath Bán]

And typos to boot:

Everyone fought to contain the laughter.
Everyone fought to contain the slaughter.

[ONeill]

Same as the rest - gave it a chance last week.

Really, really bad. Someone must like it though. Worse than Cusack and that's saying something.

[Lecale2]

Pure shite and far too much of it.