Corny One for Friday

[Fear ón Srath Bán]

...

[illdecide]

 
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' 

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!  Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.  There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.  As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: 













 
'You got Male!

[High Wide and Handsome]

i'll decide thats not your best to date lad.

go and hunt thru more of where you get them and put on another one. 

[illdecide]

i'll decide thats not your best to date lad.

go and hunt thru more of where you get them and put on another one. 

I know...it was a bit of a girly wan...sorry!!!

[illdecide]

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk,says,'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot. 


So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.
'We missed the R !  We missed the R ! We missed the R !'
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is sobbing uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was... 

'CELEBRATE!!!'

[Orior]

I have a dog that talks in its sleep. One day a visitor was astonished to hear the dog bellow, "My name is Christopher Columbus! I am seven hundred years old! I own America! I married Marilyn Monroe!"

When the  visitor asked what was going on, I replied, "Don't worry about it. It's better to just let sleeping dogs lie."

[In the Onion Bag]

Heard a good one in the bar tonight.  One of the lads was away in Spain on holiday and brought back this story which he swears is true bill.  In a local shop he overheard the following:

English Guy: "Have you got the Sun?"

Shopkeeper: "Sorry all our English papers have gone, we only have German ones left."

English Guy: "That's OK I'll take one, sure I only want the crossword anyway."

I believe its true, every Country has at least one.

[flantheman82]

How do the mods take racist light hearted jokes? Got one my 10 yr old cousin told me but don't wanna get banned .

[Orior]

Give it a whirl

[flantheman82]

Why do black people have white palms?
So they can count their coppers

[SidelineKick]

Why do black people have white palms?
So they can count their coppers

Reported.

[Orior]

Why do black people have white palms?
So they can count their coppers

Reported.

Denied

[High Wide and Handsome]

Why do black people have white palms?
So they can count their coppers

Reported.

Denied

SLK is reported for reporting flan.

[illdecide]

'If women are so perfect at multitasking , how come they can't have a headache  and sex at the same time?'

[illdecide]

Why do black people have white palms?
So they can count their coppers

There are a load of them about...

Why do Jew's have big noses...


Because the air is free