Corny One for Friday

[5 Sams]

Oul Doll talking to her next door neighbour about her visit to the doctor about her constipation.

"Well Mary. I went to the doctor and he gave me a bottle of tablets and he told me to place two of them in my back passage every day for a week and come back and see me. For all the good they did me I might as well have shoved them up my hole."

[ziggysego]

Oul Doll talking to her next door neighbour about her visit to the doctor about her constipation.

"Well Mary. I went to the doctor and he gave me a bottle of tablets and he told me to place two of them in my back passage every day for a week and come back and see me. For all the good they did me I might as well have shoved them up my hole."

That was rubbish too. Though in fairness, better than any of illdecide's latest offerings.

[illdecide]

Oul Doll talking to her next door neighbour about her visit to the doctor about her constipation.

"Well Mary. I went to the doctor and he gave me a bottle of tablets and he told me to place two of them in my back passage every day for a week and come back and see me. For all the good they did me I might as well have shoved them up my hole."

That was rubbish too. Though in fairness, better than any of illdecide's latest offerings.

What were u doing up at that hour Mod Ziggy

[illdecide]

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.
"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."

"That'll be me then," said Paddy.

[Keyser soze]

Put under pressure, Illdecide has responded by considerably upping his game 

[brokencrossbar1]

illdecide is on the Christmas sherry early this year!!!  Pulling crackers all round the place!

[Soup an Samajiz]

What's E.T. short for..?



cuz he's only got small wee legs.

[illdecide]

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"  "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

[Dinny Breen]

Someone just told me the Irish word for the number seven. Shocked!

[AZOffaly]

Someone just told me the Irish word for the number seven. Shocked!

I actually groaned out loud at that one.

[The Gs Man]

Someone just told me the Irish word for the number seven. Shocked!

Fantastic!

[mikehunt]

A fanatical Russian communist called Rudolph was lying in bed one night when his Mrs mentioned it had started snowing. "How do you know?" asked Rudolph. "Because I hear it hitting the roof" came the reply. Rudolph did what all men do and thought how best to approach this without calling the woman stupid. "if you can hear it then surely it must be raining and not snowing" he said. His Mrs was adamant that it was snow and the to and fro continued until Rudolph eventually said "Rudolph the Red knows rain dear"

[Hardy]

Mother Superior called all the nuns together. 'l must tell you all something', she said. 'We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.'

'Thank God', said an elderly nun at the back. 'l'm so tired of chardonnay.'

[joemamas]

Someone just told me the Irish word for the number seven. Shocked!

Were ye talking about the score in The All-Q final.......

Just Kidding.

[muppet]