Corny One for Friday

[haranguerer]

Ach Muppet - that never actually happened, in common with almost all of those autocorrect 'funnies'

[muppet]

Ach Muppet - that never actually happened, in common with almost all of those autocorrect 'funnies'

And in common with most jokes.

[ziggysego]

Ach Muppet - that never actually happened, in common with almost all of those autocorrect 'funnies'

And in common with most jokes.

Most jokes don't pretend to be real.

[muppet]

Ach Muppet - that never actually happened, in common with almost all of those autocorrect 'funnies'

And in common with most jokes.

Most jokes don't pretend to be real.

Sorry Ziggy. I didn't realise there was a rule on whether jokes shouldn't be posted if they are pretending to be real.

Maybe you should amend the rules of the board.

Being the mod and all that. But then you pretend you are not the mod.

[laoislad]

I thought it was funny muppet.

[muppet]

I thought it was funny muppet.

Thank you. And happy birthday!

[muppet]

[armaghniac]

He clearly missed out Liz Windsor and her brood.

[laoislad]

I thought it was funny muppet.

Thank you. And happy birthday!

Lol ! thanks.

[ziggysego]

That was funny. You've redeemed yourself.

[illdecide]

In the sleepy village of Erbum , in the town of Tillet , Hertfordshire lives a lady by the name Linda Lykes.

She owns the local pub called The c**k Inn.

Her mail is addressed:

Linda Lykes
The c**k Inn
ERBUM
Tillet,
Herts.

If you don't get it , just keep saying it out loud!

[pullhard]

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f**king bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f**king bread, ask me again and I'll nail your f**king beak to the bar you irritating bast**d of a f**king bird!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

[mikehunt]

3 sisters living in the same house, 92, 94 and 96 years old. 96 year old is up in the bathroom and finds herself with one foot in the bath and one out. Can't remember if she's getting in or out so shouts down for help. 94 year old says she'll be up in a minute to help. As she was about to go up the stairs she gets all confused and says to the 92 year old "was I going to go up the stairs, or had I just come down?" 92 year old shakes her head and thanks God she isn't like that yet, touch wood and raps the wooden table twice for good luck. "I'll be out to ye as soon as I find out who's at the door"

[illdecide]

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

[illdecide]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."