Corny One for Friday

[trueblue1234]

Reflux sakes lads, to renny bad puns. 

[HiMucker]

Reflux sakes lads, to renny bad puns.

very good

[armaghniac]

And in homage to the legend of Irish broadcasting, Larry Gogan, and his famous Just a Minute quiz, here are just ten of the best answers that have been broadcast on his show.

1. Name something a blind man might use...
A Sword


2. Name the capital of France...
F


3 Name an occupation where you might need a torch...
A burglar


4. Where is the Taj Mahal?
Opposite the Dental Hospital


5. What was Hitlers first name ?
Heil


6.  Complete the saying "As happy as...
A pig in sh**t


7. Can you name a  dangerous race ?
The Arabs


8. The name of a famous bridge....
The Bridge Over Troubled Waters


9. Something people might be allergic to ?
Skiing


10. What star do travellers follow?
Joe Dolan

[laoislad]

My dog Minton just ate my shuttlecock.

Bad Minton

[muppet]

My dog Minton just ate my shuttlecock.

Bad Minton

Worst racket ever!

[seafoid]

When sports stars get angry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQTATWUtvHQ

[heganboy]

stolen from the legendary Chicken...

Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when,at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice.
The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon.

Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and complained to the Chief Of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef.

The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a bit strange. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom.

By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.

He tried every door in the hallway and was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened.
As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees.

The President fell to the floor in pain and as he was just about to pass out.
Monica bent over him to listen for a heartbeat and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice,

"Sack my cook."

And truly that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

[Lecale2]

That's a new one 

[Orior]

Why people like Hardy and Shamrock Shore don't get recruited....


An elderly gent goes for a job interview.

Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Old Man: "Honesty"

Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness"

Old Man: "I don't really give a shit what you think"

[trileacman]

  Best one for a while.

[Hardy]

ELDERLY?!!!  Shamrock Shore will be outraged. Me, I'll just find out where you live.

[BennyHarp]

I was asked today what I thought of the new £1 coin. I said it was ok but I don't like change.

[Billys Boots]

ELDERLY?!!!  Shamrock Shore will be outraged. Me, I'll just find out where you live.

Orior is probably older than the two of ye added together. 

[Shamrock Shore]

Elderly 

Dems fighting words.

[AZOffaly]

And in homage to the legend of Irish broadcasting, Larry Gogan, and his famous Just a Minute quiz, here are just ten of the best answers that have been broadcast on his show.

1. Name something a blind man might use...
A Sword


2. Name the capital of France...
F


3 Name an occupation where you might need a torch...
A burglar


4. Where is the Taj Mahal?
Opposite the Dental Hospital


5. What was Hitlers first name ?
Heil


6.  Complete the saying "As happy as...
A pig in sh**t


7. Can you name a  dangerous race ?
The Arabs


8. The name of a famous bridge....
The Bridge Over Troubled Waters


9. Something people might be allergic to ?
Skiing


10. What star do travellers follow?
Joe Dolan

Don't forget " Ah well, they didn't suit you today." "f**k off Larry you auld bollox"