Corny One for Friday

[Harold Disgracey]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the batman gave her one.

[Billys Boots]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the batman gave her one.

I never knew Batman was a drinker ...

[brokencrossbar1]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the batman gave her one.

I never knew Batman was a drinker ...

No Jesus was Batman.

[Jeepers Creepers]

Two Irish Lesbians, Eileen Over & Ulick McGee

[Harold Disgracey]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the batman gave her one.

I never knew Batman was a drinker ...

Ha ha. Big thumbs, small phone. That's the surrealist version.

[muppet]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the batman gave her one.

I never knew Batman was a drinker ...

Only when he wasn't out robbin'.

[Niall Quinn]

OLD PEOPLE. Prevent being beaten black and blue for paltry amounts of money by carrying large sums of cash with you at all times.
NEWLYWEDS. Act in a surreptitious manner from the start of your marriage so as not to attract suspicion when you do have an affair.
DRUNKEN drivers. When making your way home from a night out, put 'L' plates on your car to convince patrol-ling police that any careless driving is the result of inexperience rather than drink. How you explain a 3am driving lesson is up to you.
FOOL YOUR boss into thinking that your alarm clock is broken by continually turning up late for work in the morning.
USERS OF premium rate sex lines. Save hundreds of pounds by phoning the Samaritans and threatening to kill yourself unless they talk to you in a sexually explicit manner.
MAKE YOUR own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
GRAFFITI artists. Don't forget to take a can of brick coloured spray tippex in case you make a mistake.
HEROIN ADDICTS. Instead of getting up at the crack of dawn everyday to go shoplifting to raise money for smack, why not cut out the middle man and simply nick the heroin? Not only will this save time, but it will be much safer as drug dealers' homes don't usually have security guards and CCTV.
US TROOPS. Catch members of the Taliban by setting large mousetraps in the Tora Bora hills and baiting them with a little girl learning to read.
SAVE MONEY on milk by not reporting your neighbour's death. You can even leave a note for their milkman to bring more expensive items like chicken or spuds.
PROSTITUTES. If selling your body for sex makes you feel cheap, then simply raise your prices.
AMERICANS. Build your houses out of bricks and mortar instead of cheap wood to avoid having them destroyed by hurricanes every few weeks.
LORRY DRIVERS. Save pounds by spending less on pornography and axes to kill women with.
RACISTS. Convince others that you are not a racist by saying 'I'm not a racist, but...' before saying something racist.

[southdown]

A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the batman gave her one.

I never knew Batman was a drinker ...

Only when he wasn't out robbin'.

your such a joker

[Christmas Lights]

I start a new job in Seoul next week.

I thought it was a good Korea move.

LOL!!!!

[Hardy]

Bloke walks into a sandwich bar.

How much is a ham and cheese roll?
- They're two for a fiver.

How much is one?
- Three Euro.

I'll have the other one.

[Hardy]

A customer in a Dublin supermarket tries to buy half a cauliflower. The  young assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers. The customer persists, so the boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the stock room, the boy says to his manager  'Some w****r out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.' As he finishes his sentence, he turns to find the customer standing right behind him, so he adds,  'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half. Is that OK?'

The manager approves the deal, and the customer goes on his way. The manager says to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation.  We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'  'Limerick , sir,' the boy replies.

'Well, why did you leave Limerick?' the manager asks. The boy says, 'Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and rugby players there.'

'Oh really?' says the manager. 'Well my wife is from Limerick .'

'You're kidding?' replies the boy. 'What position does she play?'

[armaghniac]

'You're kidding?' replies the boy. 'What position does she play?'

Hooker?

[ONeill]

19 Mayo men go to the cinema.

The ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"

MayoMick replies "The film said 18 or over."

[armaghniac]

19 Mayo men go to the cinema.

The ticket lady asks "Why are you leaving at half time?"

[muppet]

19 Mayo men go to the cinema.

20 Mayo men go to mass.

Anything is better than watching Tyrone.