Corny One for Friday

[Hardy]

Sounds like a scene from American Pie, except it is true.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10893497

That presents an alternative to the more drastic plot some often consider:

[Oraisteach]

Doesn't quite fit the thread title, perhaps, but I posted it first on the Leitrim vs. Armagh thread, but that thread is now hotly embroiled in a strange sort of a GAA county penis envy--people boasting about the size of their county, and so this little anecdote about perpetually losing teams might be amusing and a propos.

By the way, this is a true story.  For you non American football loving readers, you need to know that the Cleveland Browns suck every year, especially since the owner moved the original team to Baltimore.

Anyway, about a month ago,  a longtime Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given a few weeks to live, so he asked that Browns' players be his pallbearers at his funeral.  He wanted it to be that way so that the team could let him down one last time.

I'm not joking.

As a long-suffering fan myself, I thought this was great.

[ballinaman]

[All of a Sludden]

[Minder]

Like

[Tony Baloney]

Like

Shared.

[Hardy]

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese man are hired at a construction site. The foreman says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping – clean up that whole area by the site office."

He points to a huge pile of sand and tells the Irishman, "You're in charge of shovelling – shift that pile from there over beside the pile of gravel." The Irish fella says, "Where will I find a shovel?" The foreman turns to the Chinese guy and says, "You're in charge of supplies."

"Now," he says, "I'm gonna be gone for a while. I expect you guys have the sweeping done and make a dent in that there pile before I get back."

So the foreman goes away for a couple of hours but when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched and there's no sweeping done. He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep up where I told you?"

The Italian replies, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."

The foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him."

The foreman is pissed off now and he storms off looking for the Chinese guy. He can't find him anywhere. He's searching all over and getting more enraged by the minute. Then, as he goes around to look behind the pile of sand, the Chinese guy springs out and yells ... "Supplies!!"

[Shamrock Shore]

I laughed more than I should have Hardy 

[Billys Boots]

Snap. 

[ziggysego]

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Na, I laughed too.

[Christmas Lights]

That is terrible Hardy.
Truly awful stuff 

[Onion Bag]

Hardy, that's a cracker 

[johnneycool]

Hardy, that's a cracker 

Takes me back to my childhood that one..

[Bud Wiser]

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned Fifty Shades of Grey !

[JUst retired]

 Bud, that was brilliant, brought back memories.