Corny One for Friday

[Orior]

A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab steals 3 pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything!"

The Jew says to the Arab, "I'm going to show you there's nobody better than a Jew."

He goes to the owner and says, "Give me a pastry and I'll show you a magic trick.''

Intrigued, the owner accepts the offer and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and ask for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for yet another one and swallows it just the same."

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and says, "What did you do with the pastries? Are you trying to fool me?"

The Jew answers, "Look in the Arab's pocket."

[Shamrock Shore]

I am sure John Lennon would have loved all the on-line shopping were he alive.

Imagine all the PayPal.

[Orior]

I am sure John Lennon would have loved all the on-line shopping were he alive.

Imagine all the PayPal.

Hang your head in shame SS!

[laoislad]

I am sure John Lennon would have loved all the on-line shopping were he alive.

Imagine all the PayPal.

It was bad enough having to read it when you posted it on Facebook!

[Shamrock Shore]

Ah Laoislad.

Only you and that Boots fellow have me on Facebook.

It's too awful a joke not to share with the 6 county unwashed!

[Puckoon]

I am sure John Lennon would have loved all the on-line shopping were he alive.

Imagine all the PayPal.

Jaysus Horse.

[armaghniac]

During Margaret Thatcher's funeral, Big Ben fell silent for a few hours.

Very fitting.

She hated anything that would strike...!

[illdecide]

Explanation for there being no male agony aunt...

Dear Bill,

I am a 42 year old mother. I left for work this morning but after a mile or so down the road my car broke down, i had to walk home again and on arriving home i found my 16 year old baby sitter handcuffed to the bed in her school uniform sucking my husbands penis...I am devastated! Can you help?

Dear Susie,

A common cause for this is dirt in the carburettor...Don't let your fuel drop too low in the tank.

Hope this helps.

[Niall Quinn]

There are two types of people in this world:
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

[heganboy]

thank you George Takei

[seafoid]

Young Boy:     'Dad, is 'knickers' a curse'?
Dad:     'No, but tights are'.

[All of a Sludden]

[illdecide]

With all the traffic congestion at the Balmoral show at the Maze, Gerry Kelly's mobile phone has been inundated with calls looking to know the best way out.

[armaghniac]

Police are looking for a criminal who held up a paper warehouse in Ballygawley.
He took the A4.

[Orior]

Police are looking for a criminal who held up a paper warehouse in Ballygawley.
He took the A4.

Not bad
Not awful
Just diabolical