Corny One for Friday

[All of a Sludden]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office - I will track you down. You have my Word.

[johnneycool]

I went to the pub last night, there was a fat girl dancing on a table. I walked passed and said "amazing legs". The girl giggled and said with a smile "do you really think so?". I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now"!!

[Mayo4Sam]

It might be rainy and cold but I've decided to put up a marquee in my garden with some funky music and flashing lights in it.
Now is the winter of disco tent

[Billys Boots]

It might be rainy and cold but I've decided to put up a marquee in my garden with some funky music and flashing lights in it.
Now is the winter of disco tent

Sounds like the first few lines of a Mark E. Smith song. 

[StGallsGAA]

How does Mickey Mouse tell the time?

On his Liverpool FC watch of course!

[southdown]

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?







He wanted tequila

[All of a Sludden]

Told my wife "I've got a new job having sex, live on stage"

She said "are you having me on?"

I replied "I'll ask my boss, but so far they've all been thin and pretty"

[Forever Green]

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We're both lawyers.

[ziggysego]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office - I will track you down. You have my Word.

Excel-lent.

[5 Sams]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office - I will track you down. You have my Word.

Excel-lent.

If its password protected he mightn't get Access to it. The Outlook would be bleak for the Tools then.

[armaghniac]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office - I will track you down. You have my Word.

You have no style. Your work has come to a full stop.

[southdown]

Delete....

[Bud Wiser]

I took the wife to a disco at the weekend, there was a guy on the floor giving it socks , breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. Wife turns to me and sez, "see that guy?. 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down" I said, "I see, thats probably why hes still f**king celebrating"

[laoislad]

What's the difference between your wife and your job?



After 5 years, your job still sucks.

[Bud Wiser]

The Irish Soccer team visited an orphanage in Poland today.
"Ah look, don't they all look so, so sad"  -  said a little boy called Irec aged 6.