The GaaBoard Sat Higher News Thread

[muppet]

Connacht GAA Centre protest reaches 100 days

"It will take as long as it takes", said Sy Ferrous, a lifelong Roscommon fan who wants the GAA centre moved east to Roscommon.

"Lookit, I hate bias in people and I hate bias in the GAA, so why can't they move it to Roscommon?" he said.

It seems a reasonable question, but for Sy and his fellow Rossie - Ross Fann - it has become a crusade. Or rather two crusades. Early in the 100 days the men fell out with each other and no longer speak, but both give different reasons for the rift.

Ross points to the purchase of a GPS Navigator when they were planning to make their way to East Mayo together.

"That Baluba bought a second hand TomTom on eBay, from a feckin' Jackeen. A Jackeen! Sure the bloody thing had never been outside the M50. We spent the first 37 days protesting just outside bloody Enniscrone! It wasn't until I smelt seaweed and then saw the ocean that I knew we weren't in feckin' East Mayowestros, shur Mayo doesn't even touch the ocean" Ross told us.

He explained that a kind man from Pakistan told him how to get to Ballyhaunis and he figured out the rest of the way to Bekan himself.

"I got directions from a man called Younis, that'll tell you how far we were from Mayowestros!"

Sy has a different story. He says that they were both 'still in the same tent pissing out, long after they came to Bekan'. He told us that the real dispute arose due to the trials and tribulations of their beloved Galacticos on the Roscelona team. When it emerged there was a split in the management and that fell along fault lines dividing their two clubs, the die was cast. Sy said Ross immediately wanted out of Sy's tent and moved just up the road, into his own tent.

Sy says he thinks reconciliation is: "further than ever away, as each week Ross moves his tent 5 metres further up the road". "Shur at that rate he'll be back in Roscommon any day" said the Brigid's man.

However, despite their differences, both men are determined to right what they see as an unforgivable wrong. "There is only one place the Connacht GAA centre should be and that is at the home of football" says Sy. "Kiltoom!".

Ross clearly disagreed, as he picked up his tent and moved another five metres away from Sy. "It should be nowhere, next, nigh or near Kiltoom. That lot have effed up Roscelona as it is and the only place for the GAA Centre is in Rossified Ballaghaderreen." said an animated Ross.

The GaaBoard Sat Higher News put it to both men that the most distant point in Roscommon was closer to Bekan, than the furthest points in Sligo, Leitrim, Galway and even Mayo.

"That'll be that f*cking Jackeen TomTom again" said Ross.

Sy didn't say anything. He just just packed up his tent and moved 5 metres up the road.

[seafoid]

The latest news from Camp Rossie is that the training centre must be moved to Rathcroghan, the holy site outside Tulsk where Kings of Connacht were consecrated back in the days before Ballaghadereen was annexed .

Roscommon football is slow to anger and rich in mercy but beset on all sides by Fancy Dans and Rhubarbs and their empty works and promises. And hoors from Sligo with their Schadenfreude.

Rathcroghan is more than an ancient football pitch. It is more than a rousing song on Shannonside or a series of bonfires on the road from Athlone to Knockcroghery.  It is where Roscommon football can copulate with nature and produce supermen. Ancient paths to connect the past to the future in the great cycle of life and death and beating Mayo in the Connacht Final.

The thing about copulating as the Connemara man said is you wouldn't want to eat the whole horse. 

But still.

Bekan is worse than rhubarbia alone. It diminishes Roscommon manhood. It is a virus of doubt and collapsing self confidence that can turn a January team to bate anyone into a June outfit that just can't do it. Handpassing sideways and backwards, positional incoherence, etc.

It is estimated that up to 90 percent of Roscommon losses have a psychological cause.
This encompasses everything from management  difficulties to performance anxiety and even more complex psychological issues. Modern medicine would suggest counselling but ancient wisdom brings the team back to Rathcroghan.

And Mayo will not know what hit them. But there is one problem with Rathcroghan . It only works as Gaeilge.
So Syf has work to do.