Classic Threads from other Boards...

[Fluffy Che]

The minor footballer post is a classic - thon boy should be writing novels..

[5 Sams]

 

http://www.anfearrua.com/db.asp?a=topicdisplay&tid=442143

[Red Sky]

Here`s a question. What do you do if she happens to be in her moons on V day?



Get her to blow you.


Class thread.

[full back]

lead her to the bed room. Give her your A-game for about 1-2 hours so she is absolutly boll*ksed. Sleep like a baby.
P.S. your A game needs to be top quality so do some research before hand. No holding back


1 to 2 hours !!! Of your `A` game !!! Are you off your head?
If you start going down the 1-2 hours route and that will be expected to be the norm. If you are on top form then that will also be expected to be the norm.
From that day on if you last 20 minutes you`ll be branded a failure and asked why you can`t go the 2 hours.
If you`re more of a penguin than a bucking bronco then that will also be critised !
If you keep it at 15 minutes then you`re saving 1 hour 45 minutes 4 times a week, which is a full days work saved !
Thats 2 rounds of golf or 3 movies and the list just goes on and on.
If I was you, I`d be aiming for the 15 minute mark and keeping an eye on the watch and then sleep.
You`re only damaging your own lifestyle otherwise.

Also, by doing this, she will tell her friends and they will attack their "15 minute man" at home. He doesn`t deserve this abuse. Do mankind a favour.


Edit - even more Valentines Day advice

Your A Game should not involve you humping her like a f**kin dog for 1-2 hours. I dont think that I can go into the graphic details on this site, but 15 - 20 mins massage, foreplay 10 mins, round 1 15 mins, 5 - 10 min breather. Thats one hour killed. Tie her up for a while  (her hands, with silk, not her neck with rope )  produce some strawberries, cream etc, put them places that you probably shouldnt etc etc etc. 2 hiurs will be killed in no time.

She wont expect this everynight, and it shows that you did something other then buying her a card and she will be all over you, simply because all you`ll be hearing is "ahhhhhhhh, that was fu+king amazing, where did you learn that" and you lie back with your chest pumped out like your after cleaning Shefflin in the All ireland  (or wjhatever makes you proud )  and say, " I thought I would give you a special treat for valentines this year, should I not of?"

[5 Sams]

From UptheYard

I`ll have to disagree ST. What a man writes in a love letter can never be said in words or performed in actions. Mr outcast is obviously in love and good luck to him. However, I would still expect that he busts some moves when he gets her to that fancy hotel. All regard and respect for furnishings & fellow guests should go out the window when you get your missus to a hotel for a few nights. The maid should walk in there in the morning and think to herself `what the f**k did these animals get up to last night`. Lockers should be knocked over, curtains hanging off the rail, muff diving from the top of the wardrobe  (superfly Jimmy Snuka style )  reverse piggy backs etc etc. The whole shooting, f**king gallery

[thebandit]

OneLeggedDancer
Posts: 1,116   Posted 12-Feb-2008 18:49             Report offensive post

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Originally posted by Escobar:
Very amusing discussion lads, and informative too! As a housing estate Jackeen, I didn`t get to dehorn anything other than meself when I was a young fella so I`ve enjoyed reading these misadventures in the vein of All Creatures Great and Small.

B]


I was admitted to St. Luke`s Hospital, Kilkenny for an appendicitis operation when I was 14 and a nurse was carrying out the task of shaving my testicular region. My efforts to defeat nature by mind control proved fruitless and willy stood right up there as proud as Punch, much to the nurse`s amusement and my mortification. The mortification turned to agony when a passing nun dehorned me with a rap of her pencil.And that`s my contribution to this subject.
Some great contributions and I`ll be very careful with the spelling if I ever have to book a limousine for the bride. 

[TacadoirArdMhacha]

A great uncle of mine has had a wariness of ginger haired women all his life. As far as he's concerned, if the red cattle are mad in the head, the female version is not to be taken lightly.

[5 Sams]

Limousin II

http://www.anfearrua.com/db.asp?a=topicdisplay&tid=524081

[Hardy]

Only seeing that Valentine's Day thread now. Funniest thing in a long time - had me rolling around laughing more than a year of reading stuff that's supposed to be funny and watching lads on TV that are paid to make you laugh. If you haven't read it, get into it - a treat in store.

[magickingdom]

Only seeing that Valentine's Day thread now. Funniest thing in a long time - had me rolling around laughing more than a year of reading stuff that's supposed to be funny and watching lads on TV that are paid to make you laugh. If you haven't read it, get into it - a treat in store.

thats a classic thread!!! some headers there....

[ludermor]

Obviously if you are normally '2 stroke O Rourke' it would look a bit suspicious

[Lar Naparka]

Did any of ye ever say you had a pain in the arse over something or other?
Well, I can say it now and it isn't funny at all, at all.
My posterior pain, which can be quite severe at times, is down to arthritis and the arthritis is down to walking my oul' fella's bullocks to the fair in Swinford a couple of times a year.
We'd set off around daylight in order to meet some of the 'dalers,' who'd come out the road  to meet the early arrivals and pick up the best before anyone else would get to see them.
The gaffer  also wanted to get a good 'standin,' a prime position on  the main street for those he couldn't sell on the way in.
Here, me and the brother would have to try and keep the 'bastes' quiet, running around screeching and waving our sticks, and up to or knees in the smelly stuff. This could go on for hours and us having had to lep every fence in the country and race ahead to cover off gateways and crossroads all the way in!
The buckos we were bringing along would be as worked up as we were, lowing and bellowing every step of the way. When one bunch of animals heard another coming along, the craic really got good!
Trying to separate them was more an art than a science and, God knows, there was more action and commitment in evidence, from bullocks and herders, alike than you'd ever see from the Mayo football team.
Sometimes, the kids would be so excited that they'd aim an odd skelp of a stout ash plant at each other. I'm sure the same Mayo team would have picked up a few Sam Maguires along the line if it wasn't for emigration. Believe me; all the young fellas of our locality could run, jump and eff better than any one I've seen in the green and red then or since.
For all of that, we might get two bob and a bottle of lemonade if the day went well and if it didn't, we had to walk the unsold ones back home again.
By mutual consent, as we were all shagged out, bullocks and kids would walk along without any theatricals.
If they were the good ol' days, I'd hate to recall the bad ones.

[the Deel Rover]

thats a hiliarous thread allright hardy lol a few times getting some strange looks at the moment 

Originally posted by DavidO'Carlo/Wex:
Got the missus to be a box of chocs  (in a heart-shape naturally, 7.99-aprox. in Tescos Clondalkin....think they're called Milka Pralines & yes I want to milk her' pralines! )  plus an 18.99 double-box of Christina Aguilera Eau De Parfum & Shower-Gel in the local pharmacy. All I've to do now is learn how to write "Happy Valentines' Day". In Polish. & get her to understand English. Gonna be plucking up the courage all-day Thursday. Might even have a snifter at lunch for a bit of Dutch Gold.

                                   ************************************************************
Is this the Polish woman who already has a boyfriend and you work with both of them? What is it about you and your stalking tendancies. didnt you go after another one for ages and kept texting and ringing her when she asked you to leave her alone? You want to take the casual approach to women lad, dont be going hell for leather trying to get them.

Valentines day is a load of crap tho to be honest. Why do you need one particular day of the year to be told that you love someone. If you are being forced to be nice and please someone on one particular day, then whats the point? Rip off day where shops, florists and hallmark make a sh!tload of money. Better off doing it sporadically on different times of the year, makes it more

[The Real Laoislad]

I posted this before but here it is again for anyone who didn't see it..
This is a thread about a user of a Liverpool Fc forum that i am a member of.His name is Drummerphil and is dying.
It is amazing to read as he describes nearly day by day what he is going though and also his eternal love for Liverpool FC,It follows his progress and then suddenly you notice no more posts from him and then the confirmation from another poster that he has in fact passed away
If you have an hour it is worth reading through all the posts


http://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/cgi-bin/forums/ikonboard.cgi?s=86bb2eac560570758869d355964237ef;act=ST;f=1;t=18072

[el_cuervo_fc]

That's a tragic story.  I was nice that he got to get married before he passed away.