Sarah Everard/Women’s safety

[general_lee]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-56367223

A lot of talk on social media surrounding women's safety in the wake of the tragic kidnap and murder of Sarah Everard. The usual "not all men" nonsense is going about and this being a male-dominated forum it would be useful to discuss this (apologies if there is already a thread).

Probably something I didn't pay too much heed to when I was younger but something I've become more acutely aware of in recent years, having had female relatives in tears needing lifted and female friends wanting a lift or to talk on the phone because they don't feel safe walking at night. Probably something more common in bigger cities and this specific case is thankfully rare; but the general culture of men giving unwanted attention to lone women is often overlooked, no matter how benign it might appear to be.

[tonto1888]

Some of the stories I've read in the last 24 hours have been pretty horrific. As have many of the responses. From men

[J70]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-56367223

A lot of talk on social media surrounding women's safety in the wake of the tragic kidnap and murder of Sarah Everard. The usual "not all men" nonsense is going about and this being a male-dominated forum it would be useful to discuss this (apologies if there is already a thread).

Probably something I didn't pay too much heed to when I was younger but something I've become more acutely aware of in recent years, having had female relatives in tears needing lifted and female friends wanting a lift or to talk on the phone because they don't feel safe walking at night. Probably something more common in bigger cities and this specific case is thankfully rare; but the general culture of men giving unwanted attention to lone women is often overlooked, no matter how benign it might appear to be.

As men, we have no idea what its like to be a woman, and the casual, ignorant verbal abuse and objectification they are subjected to on a daily basis.

And that's before you even get into the issues of domestic abuse, stalking, sexual assault and murder.

[Tony Baloney]

I asked the missus about this last night and she said when she was at Queen's she had a fella follow her home on a bike and knock the door to ask her out, a different fella sat beside her in Botanic Gardens bench and started saying how he loved her shoes and feet. She moved and he sat beside her again. She had fellas on 2 separate occasions follow her and ask her out on a date. This is all in daylight!

[Boycey]

https://twitter.com/kate_taylor/status/1369931323448688640?s=19

Gary Lineker retweeted that earlier, I thought it insightful...

[J70]

https://twitter.com/kate_taylor/status/1369931323448688640?s=19

Gary Lineker retweeted that earlier, I thought it insightful...

Wow. That is powerfully put.

[Boycey]

I heard a woman talk on the radio one night about the worst single thing about being a woman and she said not being able to pull on a set of earphones and explore a new city alone either late at night or early morning... As part of a couple who have done myriad city breaks over the years, I've done that umpteen times myself while my partner slept. You see a different side of a city as it goes to sleep or wakes up.

It never struck me til then that it was a joy that's probably not available to my partner. Strange auld world...

[J70]

I heard a woman talk on the radio one night about the worst single thing about being a woman and she said not being able to pull on a set of earphones and explore a new city alone either late at night or early morning... As part of a couple who have done myriad city breaks over the years, I've done that umpteen times myself while my partner slept. You see a different side of a city as it goes to sleep or wakes up.

It never struck me til then that it was a joy that's probably not available to my partner. Strange auld world...

Women never get harrassed or cat-called when they're with a lad.

So most men are never going to be a witness to their wife or girlfriend or sister or daughter getting abuse off another man.

But we've all witnessed, laughed along (whether sincerely or not), and I'm sure in some cases, have been the instigators of other women getting unwanted attention, in whatever form, from men.

There's a disconnect there somewhere.

[nrico2006]

I asked the missus about this last night and she said when she was at Queen's she had a fella follow her home on a bike and knock the door to ask her out, a different fella sat beside her in Botanic Gardens bench and started saying how he loved her shoes and feet. She moved and he sat beside her again. She had fellas on 2 separate occasions follow her and ask her out on a date. This is all in daylight!

Bet you still have the bike!

[Kidder81]

Some of it is feminist hysteria too & are using this to further and enhance their own profile, some doll on the news today suggesting a 6pm curfew for men. The fella that killed Sarah Everard was obviously a bad 'un. Not sure how you prevent something as terrible as that.

[imtommygunn]

A problem with how people behave themselves means you have to be wary if you see a woman on her own struggling. Myself and a friend were walking home past queens about 1-2 am on a sunday morning years ago from a night out. There was a women lying face first in the bushes absolutely plastered and you are wary of what to do but we managed to help her and get an ambulance for her but you get very paranoid that people would think you're taking advantage or she would get upset and scared. (She was grand but then when the ambulance came we waited to see if she was ok and she smacked the ambulance man!!). Then in newcastle on a stag me and a boy walked past this girl on a pavement who was the drunkest I have ever seen covered in more vomit than I have ever seen. We tried to help her and get an ambulance then woman saw us and thought we were going to take advantage of her when all we were doing was helping.

In summary because women have to be so fearful then if you are a normal non predatory person you end up needing to be very wary due to the weirdos out there.

[Tony Baloney]

I asked the missus about this last night and she said when she was at Queen's she had a fella follow her home on a bike and knock the door to ask her out, a different fella sat beside her in Botanic Gardens bench and started saying how he loved her shoes and feet. She moved and he sat beside her again. She had fellas on 2 separate occasions follow her and ask her out on a date. This is all in daylight!

Bet you still have the bike!

Very rude nrico! I keep it stored in my secure lockup.

[imtommygunn]

I asked the missus about this last night and she said when she was at Queen's she had a fella follow her home on a bike and knock the door to ask her out, a different fella sat beside her in Botanic Gardens bench and started saying how he loved her shoes and feet. She moved and he sat beside her again. She had fellas on 2 separate occasions follow her and ask her out on a date. This is all in daylight!

Bet you still have the bike!

[armaghniac]

Of course in this case a 6pm curfew for men would not have worked as the attacker was a police officer.

[seafoid]

Most murderers of women know the victim.  The murder of Sarah Everard was a sort of "bogeyman" scenario - very rare but one that resonated with a huge audience.