Depression

Started by Eamonnca1, October 25, 2013, 09:11:55 PM

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Captain Obvious

Good Conor Cusack interview on The Late Late Show tonight.

under the bar

LIFELINE - 0808 808 8000 - Call if concerned for yourself or a friend.  Free from landlines and most mobiles.

orangeman

JACKIE CAHILL – UPDATED 08 APRIL 2014 08:15 AM

'We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light' – Plato


IT has been a long and difficult road for Waterford star Wayne Hutchinson who today opens up about his battle with depression.

A remarkable piece of Hutchinson's own writing, which appears in full on the player's personal online blog page, details his clinical diagnosis 11 years ago and how he contemplated suicide in January 2013.

The 29-year-old's blog piece begins in his bedroom last month, on the morning of Tuesday March 18, when he is lying on his bed with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Old feelings have returned and Hutchinson writes: "But I'm not asking myself, 'what's wrong with me?'

"For years, I did just that, thinking I was different, thinking I was the only one in the world with my particular problem.

"Now I know it's not just me. I know there are others with that same 'companion' in life: depression.

"As I walk downstairs, drying the tears on my cheeks, I encounter the most beautiful of smiles, worn by my two-year-old niece, whose face bears the look of someone without a care in the world, the way all kids should be.

"I ask her for a hug and she lovingly obliges. This small hug from a little girl will get me through this day. That hug felt like the best one I've ever received. It's just what I needed.

"I need to keep moving forward. I can't go back to where I was 14 months ago."

Hutchinson then reflects on "a cold wet night in late January of last year", when he was in a self-confessed suicidal state. His passion for sport – and life – had disappeared.

"The decision I'd reached wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing. I'd planned what I was going to do well in advance, right down to date, time and place. I was going to end it all.

"By now the depression was bad. Brutal even. That night, I sat on my bed, head buried into my knees.

"I prayed to God, something I'd never done before, but for some reason I felt compelled to.

STARING

"I waited for everyone else to go to bed. And when they did, the blackest of darknesses consumed me as I lay there, as I so often have, staring at the ceiling.

"My mind was running at 1000 miles per hour. I was s******g it, but I was ready to do what I felt needed to be done. I needed my peace.

"I quietly made my way downstairs, but all the while I was shaking. I was intent on going to the back of the house and into a forested area nearby.

"Earlier that day, I'd left all the stuff I needed for it down there.

"Just as I'm about to make my way outside to end it all, I hear a noise upstairs, followed by footsteps, gingerly making their way downstairs.

"Like all cowards, I dart into the downstairs toilet to hide. Only I don't feel like a coward – after all I know what I want to do and I know what I want: peace.

"I leave the door slightly ajar to see who it is. It's Mam, and she's getting a glass of water.

"Unknowingly, she has intervened again to make a difference in my life; those footsteps, to me, were a sign from God: I need to keep fighting. I owe it to Mam.

"The following day, when the house was empty, I return to the spot where I'd planned to end it all. I pick up my stuff and am filled with shame and embarrassment.

"I place the stuff in a bag, drive to Shannon Cliff in Dunmore East, take the rope out of my bag and throw it off the cliff and into the sea below. The rope is gone. I'm still here."

Eleven years ago, Hutchinson was diagnosed with depression at a local hospital. But he confirms that the battle against mental illness continues on a daily basis.

He writes: "The days and weeks before that hospital visit had been terrible. I'd cried for days on end in my bedroom from which I dared not emerge to face anyone. I even starved myself at times.

"All this time, I kept asking why me, what had I done to end up feeling like this, a diminished human being? I locked my door. I shut the blinds. The only time I ventured beyond the door was to use the toilet – most of the time I didn't even want to leave my room just to answer nature's call.

"I was 18 years old, an age when life should be full of fun, thoughts about what adult life, just around the corner, would bring for me.

"But that wasn't my reality, and I knew that wasn't right. I needed help. I called my mother for help – she'd been in and out my room to me for days, trying to help, but I was too scared to even speak to her.

LISTENED

"Eventually I found my voice in her company. She listened to what I had to say and we both cried together. It was tough, so tough, but she promised she'd do all she could to help me. Mothers are great that way.

"So she brought me in on the bus to Waterford Regional Hospital – I was in a daze but she kept strong for me.

"So there I was, in A&E, waiting to be seen by a doctor. This was it. In I went, along with Mam, sat down in front of him and felt like a lost child, as I told him everything, and all the while the tears were rolling down my cheeks. I was referred to a psychiatrist and she diagnosed me with the 'D' word. Depression.

"I was prescribed anti-depressants, along with anxiety and sleeping tablets. Eleven years have passed since that hospital visit with Mam. Did it help? Yes. Has it cured me? No it hasn't. And that's the reality."

Hutchinson has dedicated his writing to the memory of the late Niall Donoghue, the former Galway hurler who passed away in tragic circumstances last October.

Hutchinson adds: "I'd also wish to dedicate this piece to Niall's family and that small Kilbeacanty community in Galway."

For the full version of Wayne's story, visit his personal blog page later today: http://waynehutchinson09.wordpress.com/

bloodybreakball

Ahhh cheers man, I was looking to read that

Aerlik

#139
Aussie Rules player Mitch Clark of Melbourne Demons, today announced his retirement from the game with immediate effect due to having been diagnosed with clinical depression.  Sad to hear this.

http://www.afl.com.au/news/2014-04-08/demon-clark-retires
To find his equal an Irishman is forced to talk to God!

muppet

Marketwatch is not often the source of such articles but here you go:

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/one-way-robin-williams-wasnt-so-unique-2014-08-12?mod=latestnewssocialflow&link=sfmw

By Charles Passy, MarketWatch 
I can't say I truly comprehend what drove Robin Williams to take his own life. But I do know what depression feels like.

And it's far more than feeling a little sad.

In my mid-30s, I found myself in something of a rut, living in an area I could never quite call home, finding it hard to make friends and feeling isolated from colleagues at work. I wanted my life to change, but I somehow couldn't effect the change — a surprise for me, given that I was generally a take-charge type.

Instead, I began to feel blue, but a blue that was somehow a deeper and darker shade on the emotional color spectrum. I was eating too much, exercising too little and relishing the escape that sleep provided.

Yup, I was depressed.

I didn't really know it at the time. But when I started seeing a psychotherapist, she was quick to recognize my condition for what it was. She put it in more acceptable terms by suggesting it was perhaps a milder form of depression — dysthymia , it's called, a kind of perpetual state of walking wounded-ness. But it was a condition that merited real attention — not just through regular therapy sessions, but also through medication. After much coaxing, she convinced me to speak to my doctor about going on anti-depressants.

To this day — more than 15 years later — I can say I've never really been off them, save for one trial period (a period that was a mistake, I might add). I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say they saved my life, but I do know they made my life entirely more livable.

And apparently, I'm not alone: 9% of the U.S. population suffers from depression at least occasionally, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Antidepressant sales total about $11 billion a year. Prozac, the popular drug that forever changed the business of antidepressants, was worth some $20-plus billion in total sales for drug manufacturer Eli Lilly — that is, until it became available in generic form in 2001. (I myself favor Zoloft, made by Pfizer, or the generic equivalent. It, too, has sold in the billions.)

In the long run, I've not thought much more about my depression than I've thought about my elevated blood pressure, also controlled through medication. I was in a state I didn't like, but the pills (and some good old-fashioned therapy) changed that.

Anti-depressants are hard to explain to people who have never been on them, but suffice it to say, they don't give you a daily buzz or high. When they work, they let you be a better, more-in-control you without a cloud of sorrow, discontentedness or plain anger (I subscribe to the belief that anger is depression turned outward) hanging constantly over your head.

But here's a scary thought: In some countries, fewer than 10% of those with depression seek treatment for it, according to ScienceWatch.com. That means we live in a world of a lot of very sad (or very angry) people. Is it any wonder that we also live in a world of alcoholics and drug addicts? Booze and street drugs can be just a form of self-medication, as we've long been told.

It's perhaps unfair to connect all this to Robin Williams, since we'll probably never know why this supremely talented and successful man chose to end his life. (For my money, Williams's two best pictures are the vastly overlooked "Popeye" and "One Hour Photo.") But we do know that Williams battled depression and drug addiction. Of course, it's also worth pointing out that Williams sought out treatment for his problems — or at least his addiction. He was in rehab as recently as this summer .

But if Williams's story serves as a lesson for anyone, it's that depression is something to be taken seriously. I know I'm grateful I addressed my issues many years ago. After all, there's nothing funny about feeling sad.
MWWSI 2017

muppet

Alan Brazil is saying something that was heard a lot more not that long ago in Ireland. Thankfully we have all become more educated on this particular issue and people, I think, understand nowadays that this is not 'an easy out' or any other cliche you might wish to use. This is the terrible culmination of a mind altering disease.

Some interesting stats: http://nsrf.ie/statistics/suicide/
MWWSI 2017

brokencrossbar1

QuoteAnti-depressants are hard to explain to people who have never been on them, but suffice it to say, they don't give you a daily buzz or high. When they work, they let you be a better, more-in-control you without a cloud of sorrow, discontentedness or plain anger (I subscribe to the belief that anger is depression turned outward) hanging constantly over your head.

I have never heard it expressed like that but to me personally that is one of the best ways I have ever heard it described and certainly would reflect my own experience of it.  A situational type of depression,  reflective of the persons own circumstances and how they react to it. 

RealSpiritof98

Quote from: muppet on August 12, 2014, 03:35:56 PM
Alan Brazil is saying something that was heard a lot more not that long ago in Ireland. Thankfully we have all become more educated on this particular issue and people, I think, understand nowadays that this is not 'an easy out' or any other cliche you might wish to use. This is the terrible culmination of a mind altering disease.

Some interesting stats: http://nsrf.ie/statistics/suicide/


Yeah I see his colleague Stan Collymore has jumped on him.

I hope anyone suffering makes that call. There is help out there even if you've looked before. I often hear people say 'if i won the lotto all my troubles will be away' a common mis-conception. Having everything doesn't cure your illness.

please talk, dont die!

magpie seanie

Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on August 12, 2014, 03:48:16 PM
QuoteAnti-depressants are hard to explain to people who have never been on them, but suffice it to say, they don't give you a daily buzz or high. When they work, they let you be a better, more-in-control you without a cloud of sorrow, discontentedness or plain anger (I subscribe to the belief that anger is depression turned outward) hanging constantly over your head.

I have never heard it expressed like that but to me personally that is one of the best ways I have ever heard it described and certainly would reflect my own experience of it.  A situational type of depression,  reflective of the persons own circumstances and how they react to it.

+1

NAG1

Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'

Sidney

Quote from: NAG1 on August 13, 2014, 03:14:56 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.

brokencrossbar1

Quote from: Sidney on August 13, 2014, 03:44:24 PM
Quote from: NAG1 on August 13, 2014, 03:14:56 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.

Sidney for the vast majority of people who attempt to or actually commit suicide the problems generally are temporary and have a solution. It is not the problem that pushes people to commit suicide but their inability to deal with the problem and find solutions. They maybe very serious problems but bar being terminally ill all problems can be solved. People with depression need more help than they are getting and I personally believe that we are not even scratching the surface here in Ireland. We need to have a serious look at who we are and how we cope with issues.

muppet

Quote from: Sidney on August 13, 2014, 03:44:24 PM
Quote from: NAG1 on August 13, 2014, 03:14:56 PM
Heard a good expression which has stuck in my head over the past few days;

'suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems'
Who can say that everybody's problems are always temporary? Not necessarily the case.

No matter what the problem, it is a more temporary condition than the solution suicide provides.
MWWSI 2017

trileacman

It's easy for you lads to call it temporary but in truth you don't know the real situation.

To Robin Williams, after battling it for so many years, he came to believe that it was the relief from depression that was temporary. Rightly or wrongly that's the way he felt.

R.I.P. Robin, you fought a good fight.
Fantasy Rugby World Cup Champion 2011,
Fantasy 6 Nations Champion 2014