Getting the hotels booked post Brexit

[seafoid]

The British government is this week expected to confirm that a customs Border between the North and the South is part of its proposals to leave the European Union.

This is expected to include proposals to have an "electronic border" where possible, to have spot checks of vehicles, to avail of number plate recognition technology and to also use CCTV cameras to try to monitor the movement of goods across the Border.

Some customs in Northern Ireland that are different will be taxed at 500%. Most bowler hats are imported from the EU.  Soda farls are believed to be at risk. The European Union does not recognise Northern Taytos. Any packet found in the European Union will be exterminated.
The Dutch Government has banned use of the word Orange outside the EU.
Pictures of King William of Orange will be subject to EU image rights taxes. 

An exemption from  tax has been gained for sports related group Rosary praying.

Trade minister Liam Fox has confirmed that he is negotiating in Asia to secure a number of marquee forwards for the Ballygawley area. He said it doesn't matter if they are small. They are unlikely to be able to handpass at industrial speed however. Hundreds of decades of the rosary have been said for the success of his mission.


Northerners who pop down to Dublin for matches or concerts and do not pay the M50 toll because it is too complicated /I forgot/ where are my glasses will be hunted down to the ends of the earth using number plate recognition allied with Facebook shaming.  Fin tech will then access their  bank accounts  to feed the insatiable appetite of the Dubs football project.

Petrol and diesel which move over the border several times a week will be subject to a South Armagh transaction tax which will be used to boost competitiveness in the Armagh football championship. Dromintee and Mullaghbawn have welcomed the proposal.

Particular Northerners who book hotels in Dublin may be required to deposit the collateral of a spare house which will be forfeited if the booking is on the wrong date. The money will be used to help sponsor years off for talented young Gaelic footballers.

[T Fearon]

There will also be a super tax imposed on people who try to be funny but fail miserably

[dclane]

There will also be a super tax imposed on people who try to be funny but fail miserably

It will cost you a fortune so.

[Tony Baloney]

There will also be a super tax imposed on people who try to be funny but fail miserably

It will cost you a fortune so.

[Shamrock Shore]

Sometimes comebacks just write themselves.