Street Humour

[Orior]

Thread to capture street humour i.e. not so funny stuff. For example, when you meet your neighbour washing his car and you quip "and will you do mine next?" Then the two of you chuckle in delight.

[Orior]

When I see an old lady in Tescos, stretching for a jar of beetroot on the top shelf "Hello, do want me to lift you up?"

[Orior]

When you visit Woodies or B&Q, go straight to the information desk and ask "have you fork handles?"

[Orior]

When you're standing at the exit of the public park and people and walking in say "tickets please"

[Orior]

When you're half way up Slieve Donard and you meet some pretty chicks on the way down then ask "Hiya, is this the way to Tescos?"

[shyted]

wise up you clown

[Farrandeelin]

When you get a darne of salmon and you go "you'd think they'd be able to debone it by now" to the woman standing beside you.

[Orior]

wise up you clown

[Aristo 60]

When you ask to buy 2 wasps at the pet shop and they say they don't sell wasps and you go "well there's 2 in your window"

[restorepride]

A WW2 joke from South Derry. Yanks were stationed locally (true); caused local tension/dislike (normal!). Yank at local petrol station asks "Can a (of) BP."
Local response- "Can a wasp fart?!!!"