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jim mcguinness

mullabawn game is still fixed for sunday is what we were informed, they havent pulled out as far as i know. where did you hear that they'd pulled out slim?

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters.
In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.

The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord".

A bit annoyed by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor
chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.

The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

Well and truly brassed off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smartie pants. You get up here and do it!"

The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the microphone...and starts to sing .....


" A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."

here's a few straight out of the John McBlain book.

A UFO lands on the Garvaghy Road.  An inquisitive local spots a little green man disembark his ship and starts walking towards him.  The local confronts him, " Here mate, what are ya? A taig or a prod?"  The ailien replies, "I'm a martian!"  The local bangs the nut in him and says, "Well your not marchin down this road ya wee wan**r!"

Big Ian and Eileen Paisley are called into the clinic for a chat. Eileen goes in first and whne she comes out hte big doc is called in.  The doctor says to him, "Ian, I've some terrible news.  Its Eileen, she's got acute angina. I'm so sorry."  Big Ian laughs and replies, "Sure what's wrong with that, she's got a great set of tits too!"

A man and a giraffe stroll into a bar on a sunny Friday afternnon after a hard days slog.  They have every intention of getting blocked.  Anyway day turns into night and after at least 40 half uns the giraffe collapses in a heap at the foot of the bar.  The man, disgusted in his incapable drinking partner, finishes of his vodka and red bull, gathers his belongings and heads for the door.  As he reaches the door the barman shouts to him, "Hi, you cant leave that lyin there!"  The man drunkenly spins on his heels and shouts back, "Its not a lion, its a giraffe dickhead!"

now slim, no need to drag it through the gutter.  I was only spinnin a few yarns of yesteryear and you have to bring it to a whole new level, dissapointing.

Heard a few stories about a man that goes by of Barney Og from Moortown in Tyrone.

Apparently in Barney's Twilight years he was playing a Reserve Championship match for moortown against their fierce local rivals Ardboe.  The changing rooms was an old mobile separated by a stud wll down the centre.  Barney apparently got so psyched up before the match he proceeded to punch a hole in the stud wall, then stick his head through the hole and roar, "I'm gonna eat you's Ardboe b******s!" 

Another tale of Barney's antics was in his hayday, playing for Moortown, somebody boxed him off the ball and broke his jaw, but Barney being the man he is stayed on for five minutes, and apparently rearranged the man that hit him the next ball.  Barney then went down on one knee and signalled to the bench and went off to hospital a merry man.

I'll see if I can dig out any more stories from my sources.

r drumintee not in that group also slim?