Depression

[Taylor]

Not nice Brick and Rudi.  Wishing both your families the best!

So challenging for the kids and impacts everything to do with family life

[north_antrim_hound]

Hope  everything works out Brick and Rudi, your two lads are in my prayers.🙏

[Substandard]

Thoughts and prayers for all going through a tough time, and all those close to them.  I know it's a cliche, but- and I wouldn't class myself as very religious,  but prayer can at least help in dealing with difficulties, and I do believe it can help in terms of resilience.
I don't have kids of my own, but I do see the effects on teenagers everyday in school.  You try your best always to make the classroom and school environment a place where all kids can feel comfortable,  but it doesn't be easy.  There are so many scenarios, and probably as many undetected: modern life was complicated enough for young people pre- Covid, but for many it's a different level now.
You have to tread so carefully, it's such a sensitive area, and you have to be cognisant that adverse experiences through these formative years can have lifelong impacts.
Hopefully all those above find strength and peace of mind. 

[Newbridge Exile]

Hope  everything works out Brick and Rudi, your two lads are in my prayers.🙏

I  would echo that  so tough for kids now with social media surrounding them everywhere nowadays.

[Eamonnca1]

Just a bit of a vent really.

My 14 year old son had been getting bullied in school, verbal type stuff, towards the end of last year. He got into a really low state and docs referred him to CAMHS.
The school did their bit and stepped in and sorted everything out there but he's been a ball of nerves since with severe anxiety. He's not socialising at all, it seems in school he's not really got any friends and we've noticed he's not eating in school either. He's stopped playing football and I can't get him to take part in anything where other people are involved. He's particularly stressed by everything in school.

He had his first CAMHS counselling session today, privately 1-1 and remote via zoom.
They have asked for face to face sessions with him beginning next week and have just contacted my wife to say they are worried about him and to keep an eye on sharp objects.
It's extremely worrying as he's a really good lad. We'd always have said he was shy, but perhaps there was always something there.

Keep an eye on your kids everyone. Lockdowns have been hard on them, the modern world is a tougher place in many regards to what it was when we were that age.

That must be awful for you. My little ones are 3 years old and 6 months old, so they still have a lot of that in front of them. I'm paying close attention to stories like this to see what might be in store for them, so thanks for sharing this.

If I can look back to my own time in school, there were times when I felt like I was being bullied, and I was, but there were other times when it was a "bit of slagging." I just hadn't yet developed the social skill of laughing at myself, so if someone slagged me off for a bit of crack I'd take it at face value as if he actually meant it, and I'd get really upset about it. I recently took some online self tests to see if I was on the autism spectrum, but apparently I'm not. I probably grew out of that stage and learned to take myself less seriously. Adolescence can be a tough time for the best of us.

Also in my day there was no such thing as counsellors in schools or anywhere else. I don't know how it was for others but if I reported a problem to the nuns running the school then the incompetent witches would just tar you with the same brush as your bullies. When I reported the umpteenth case of my locker getting vandalized and I had to pay for yet another catch on the door, the nun roared at me "yous'ns seem to take delight in wrecking other people's property!" Why these people were ever allowed to run schools is beyond me. They were clueless.

[Rois]

That must be awful for you. My little ones are 3 years old and 6 months old, so they still have a lot of that in front of them. I'm paying close attention to stories like this to see what might be in store for them, so thanks for sharing this.

This is a bit like me too. I don't post on this thread as I don't feel I have anything to offer, but I read every post, and am grateful for all the info and honesty on here. It helps educate me, which I know is a selfish way to look at it, but I feel like the more people share and normalise discussion of these issues and experiences, the better for everyone.
Thanks.

[North Man]

Folks , we went through this with our cub at secondary school, very large all boys school.
It was a very tough time, school were very good with councillors etc and he was referred to CAMH which he hated.
Got through his GCSE's with bare min work. Saw no point in working for subjects that were not practical in nature, rows there.
Started to flourish at A Levels, doing subjects he really liked and very small classes.
Got out to work at 16 summer which was a great help and has been working since.
Is 2nd year in Belfast now and all is good.
This situation puts alot of stress on home life, it took 2 years to get through it but us both had to take it on the chin and nurse him through the situation.
Take all help that is out there and get fully imsered with him/her in their interests out of school.
There is light at the end.

[Rudi]

Hope  everything works out Brick and Rudi, your two lads are in my prayers.🙏

Thanks & to all for your kind words, always hope for the best.

[small white mayoman]

Good luck Brick, I feel your pain. I have huge problems with my 14 year old boy, who has threatened to kill himself since he was 9, massive anger issues. The wife & I have tried alot of stuff, nothing is working. It's a  long road ahead impossible to live in the moment or enjoy life, just waiting for the next meltdown. Counsellors are non existent, GP,s are utterly useless. Teachers in fairness do their best. That's what I've found. The mind is a complex place, but the problems appear to be exacerbated by how young people form relationships/ friendships these days ie social media. Its toxic.
Good luck

I know exactly how you feel Rudi, i could have written your post word for word ,  it comes to a stage where  you dread receiving a phone call or message. The mental health service down south is a joke , no help whatsoever .  I personally blame social media for a lot of it. All you hear is regarding mental help is talk to someone , but in reality there is no one to talk to , not unless you can wait 6 months.       

[imtommygunn]

This is a very interesting thread and like others here I am interested for years to come as the child is too young yet.

I hear lots of stories about mental health services up north not being too good either.

It's been a tough couple of years for a lot of people  Like everyone else says - hope everything works out.

[Milltown Row2]

Good luck Brick, I feel your pain. I have huge problems with my 14 year old boy, who has threatened to kill himself since he was 9, massive anger issues. The wife & I have tried alot of stuff, nothing is working. It's a  long road ahead impossible to live in the moment or enjoy life, just waiting for the next meltdown. Counsellors are non existent, GP,s are utterly useless. Teachers in fairness do their best. That's what I've found. The mind is a complex place, but the problems appear to be exacerbated by how young people form relationships/ friendships these days ie social media. Its toxic.
Good luck

I know exactly how you feel Rudi, i could have written your post word for word ,  it comes to a stage where  you dread receiving a phone call or message. The mental health service down south is a joke , no help whatsoever .  I personally blame social media for a lot of it. All you hear is regarding mental help is talk to someone , but in reality there is no one to talk to , not unless you can wait 6 months.     

What is the private health sector like for getting help? Not everyone is in a position to pay for it of course but I'm wondering more on how many places provide it?

I noticed a private mental health company has opened up in a old bank near me, forget the name of it but I'd imagine they would be very busy considering the waiting lists for the health service

[small white mayoman]

Good luck Brick, I feel your pain. I have huge problems with my 14 year old boy, who has threatened to kill himself since he was 9, massive anger issues. The wife & I have tried alot of stuff, nothing is working. It's a  long road ahead impossible to live in the moment or enjoy life, just waiting for the next meltdown. Counsellors are non existent, GP,s are utterly useless. Teachers in fairness do their best. That's what I've found. The mind is a complex place, but the problems appear to be exacerbated by how young people form relationships/ friendships these days ie social media. Its toxic.
Good luck

I know exactly how you feel Rudi, i could have written your post word for word ,  it comes to a stage where  you dread receiving a phone call or message. The mental health service down south is a joke , no help whatsoever .  I personally blame social media for a lot of it. All you hear is regarding mental help is talk to someone , but in reality there is no one to talk to , not unless you can wait 6 months.     

What is the private health sector like for getting help? Not everyone is in a position to pay for it of course but I'm wondering more on how many places provide it?

I noticed a private mental health company has opened up in a old bank near me, forget the name of it but I'd imagine they would be very busy considering the waiting lists for the health service

I looked into one recently , at least a 3 month waiting list, €300 to €500 for the 1st appointment and €150 per appointment after that . 

[imtommygunn]

What way does medical insurance work for that? The nature of these problems would mean lots of recurring appointments so it wouldn't be cheap at all.

[Milltown Row2]

Good luck Brick, I feel your pain. I have huge problems with my 14 year old boy, who has threatened to kill himself since he was 9, massive anger issues. The wife & I have tried alot of stuff, nothing is working. It's a  long road ahead impossible to live in the moment or enjoy life, just waiting for the next meltdown. Counsellors are non existent, GP,s are utterly useless. Teachers in fairness do their best. That's what I've found. The mind is a complex place, but the problems appear to be exacerbated by how young people form relationships/ friendships these days ie social media. Its toxic.
Good luck

I know exactly how you feel Rudi, i could have written your post word for word ,  it comes to a stage where  you dread receiving a phone call or message. The mental health service down south is a joke , no help whatsoever .  I personally blame social media for a lot of it. All you hear is regarding mental help is talk to someone , but in reality there is no one to talk to , not unless you can wait 6 months.     

What is the private health sector like for getting help? Not everyone is in a position to pay for it of course but I'm wondering more on how many places provide it?

I noticed a private mental health company has opened up in a old bank near me, forget the name of it but I'd imagine they would be very busy considering the waiting lists for the health service

I looked into one recently , at least a 3 month waiting list, €300 to €500 for the 1st appointment and €150 per appointment after that .

Jesus! Thats expensive even if you have the money!

[small white mayoman]

Good luck Brick, I feel your pain. I have huge problems with my 14 year old boy, who has threatened to kill himself since he was 9, massive anger issues. The wife & I have tried alot of stuff, nothing is working. It's a  long road ahead impossible to live in the moment or enjoy life, just waiting for the next meltdown. Counsellors are non existent, GP,s are utterly useless. Teachers in fairness do their best. That's what I've found. The mind is a complex place, but the problems appear to be exacerbated by how young people form relationships/ friendships these days ie social media. Its toxic.
Good luck

I know exactly how you feel Rudi, i could have written your post word for word ,  it comes to a stage where  you dread receiving a phone call or message. The mental health service down south is a joke , no help whatsoever .  I personally blame social media for a lot of it. All you hear is regarding mental help is talk to someone , but in reality there is no one to talk to , not unless you can wait 6 months.     

What is the private health sector like for getting help? Not everyone is in a position to pay for it of course but I'm wondering more on how many places provide it?

I noticed a private mental health company has opened up in a old bank near me, forget the name of it but I'd imagine they would be very busy considering the waiting lists for the health service

I looked into one recently , at least a 3 month waiting list, €300 to €500 for the 1st appointment and €150 per appointment after that .

Jesus! Thats expensive even if you have the money!

It's mental , and i definitely don't have the money , yet there is still a waiting list .