Topics

Did you hear this on the news this morning? Apparently outside Dundalk last night, the Enterprise train from Dublin to Belfast refused to cross the border, and suddenly would go in only one direction, reverse! They had reverse back to Dundalk and then bus the passengers from Dun Dealgan to Beal Feirste, and a load of them were complaining about wonky lights in the bus as well

Could this happen anywhere else in the world?

Anyone else see this? In a programme designed to test the level of tolerance/intolerance, it featured a father and son, both Linfield fans, going to Clones for last year's Derry Donegal semi final and two taigs attending a 12 of July Parade and the Field.

Thought the Linfield lads were great. Both stood for the Soldiers Song (and the son could be heard to say I never thought I'd be standing for this!) and seemed to enjoy the occasion immensely and said they would go again. Fair play to the Derry fan who sat beside them and answered all their questions politely and showed no adverse reaction at all (perhaps apart from mild surprise) when they explained to him that they were Linfield fans and he actually appeared on the programme in the studio last night with them.

I feel that this showed our national games up in a hugely positive light. The two lads enjoted their day, seemed to be amazed that rivals supporters could sit beside each other without a gouging match and importantly they said they would be happy to go back.

However the cameras didn't show Paddy Campbell grabbing Enda Muldoon by the Max Walls and the two lads didn't comment on it either

Well Im really going with my two free Gerry Arthurs to support Armagh Minors, but at 4pm on Siunday I'll have seen 7 ot the 9 counties of Ulster as well as Dublin and Meath, in Championship action this season, all free of charge!

Any chance I'll get into the Guinness Book of Records? (Well I have got in everywhere else! )

Watched this to-day and was decidedly unimpressed.Our First Minister had his hand held the whole way through, reading preprepared answers and even reading preprepared answers to questions before they were even asked. Mc Elduff stupidly left himself open to ridicule, asking Paisley when the first North South Ministerial meeting was going to take place, to which Paisley replied laughing "Whenever the Republic has a government!", and all in all there was a lot of show put on for the cameras.With Stoops sniping at Shinners and UUP sniping at Dup and vice versa

All in all it would not inspire a great deal of confidence that there will be any significant benefits for the people of the 6 counties from this shower, and I include all parties in that statement

Noted the inception of this programme yesterday, encouraging foreign nationals to get involved with soccer.

Though the title was more than a tad ironic, given that the IFA has erected fronntiers in soccer on this island, by causing the original split, and point blankly refusing to countenance any debate about one ireland soccer side,league etc

With Charles the Dub, being the latest addition to the litany, I thought it would be appropriate to ask contributors to name their favourite Irish Saint from the list below and why.

Brigid

Malachy

Patrick (ok I know he was born in Wales but he is considered Irish! )

Brendan

Oliver Plunkett

Charles.

Also has there been any saints from the six counties yet and is the female gender not under represented?

I have been asked to point out that this post had nothing to do with the poster known as Mac on the OWC website, though it would appear that the person responsible copied Mac's avatar and quoted a similar post he made on OWC.

Having been a victim of impersonation myself more than once on this Board, I know how damaging this can be.

Would it not be in order for the admin to set up a direct contact for the deletion of such posts and also to identify the culprit by means of an IP address and name and shame?

In my view impersonations are potentially ten times more harmful to this Board than sounding of about Liverpool or Man Ure

Tell Mr Mc Cooe the next time he goes to an Elton John concert in the Odyssey to check the sign at the top of the toilet entrance..then maybe he will not inadvertently enter the Ladies toilet!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6712147.stm

Wonder will that fcukwit Mc Cartney, so opposed to the agreement from Day one, return his 15,000 quid, or give it to charity, as he said he would do with the salaries from all of the different seats he was going to win at the recent Assembly elections

On the other hand that should take care of Paul Berry's Physio bills for a while

Two complimentary Hogans have been placed at my disposal  , so I am going to witness at first hand a modern clash of the Leinster giants (well the last one I witnessed in the flesh was the 1990 Leinster Final). Looking forward to comparing and contrasting the intesnity of this clash, with that of the Ulster Championship, particularly last week's Armagh Donegal game

Watch out for a full report next week

In the year of our Lord 2007, is it not ridiculous that the so called four "British" Football Associations have an automatic Vice Presidency of FIFA role?  This means that the failed administrator Jim Boyce, President of the IFA, will unbelievably be FIFA Vice President in 2011, and will have a major role in managing soccer globally when he has palpably failed to modernise a small association that has a shambolic administrative system which fails to even register players correctly and still retains archaic laws on its statute book such as the ban on Sunday soccer. Surely the elevation to such lofty heights should be on ability not patronage.

Lest anyone think that this is a politically motivated rant, trawl through the OWC website and discover what OWC Supporters think of Boyce

Visited this for the first time yesterday (in the Cardinal O' Fiaich Library just behind the Cathedral and my alma mater) and was mightly impressed. Brought back a lot of memories and some great club exhibits on show as well. Amazing how far Armagh football has come in thirty years, in 1973 we couldn't even field a team in Leitrim for a NFL Game, and newspaper reports at the time highlight the dilemma facing Armagh football, with the County Board threatening to resign en masse.A few great photos of a baby faced Neil Lennon with St Michael's HS Lurgan team in 1984 as well.

Good to see the visitors book signed by people from as far away as Cork.

The only downside is the plethora of Armagh CBS photos etc. Granted they were technically more successful in the 70s and 80s than St Pats, then again they were only playing B Football

A significant capture for London's most cultured and arguably historically most renowned soccer club. The decision of the young Welsh wizard to opt for Spurs in preference to the Amercian owned conglomerates in Liverpool and Manchester surely augurs well for the future and shows that there is a perception among the discernible soccer adherents that we are now most definitely a club that is going places and well worth joining

Equally importantlt he hopefully will be the answer to all Spurs fans prayers and an answer to a lot of our defensive problems. Chimbonda, Dawson, King and Bale is a back four that surely will not leak goals easily next season in an any competition

At last the geek causes universal rejoicing among Northern Nationalists, and I suspect, among a substantial number of our separated brethern in the 26 counties as well. Goodbye Geek and Good riddance!

Shocked to read of the death of my former schoolmate and member of the 1977 Armagh Minor team, Paddy Mc Stay, from Derrymacash, in to-day's Irish News. Unbelievably that brings to a total of three, the number deceased on that Armagh minor team.

Looks like there'll only be one world class striker leaving a N.London club this summer

My monthly enewsletter from the Ulster Council tells me that Tir Na Nog have a non nationals team competing in tournaments?

Does it include people born in Maghery and Ballyhegan then?

You know you're a Rangers supporter when:

1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family once died right after
saying: "Hey, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.

9. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels.

10. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much petrol is in it.

11. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

12. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

13. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

14. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.

15. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

16. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs.

Rangers

MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM


NAME................................................................................(
2 mistakes allowed )

NAME................................................................................(
2nd chance )

ADDRESS...

(this means what is the name of the street your house is in and what is your house number.

If unsure of either - check the phone book for details but look under your own name or you will get it
wrong.)

If address unknown - put a tick here:..............

DATE OF BIRTH......................................

(What day does everybody sing happy birthday to you?)

AGE.................

(How many years have they been singing it to you?)

MOTHER'S
NAME.....................................................(Mum
will NOT do. What is her REAL name?)

FATHER'S NAME ( if known
).....................................................................(
NO SWEARING )

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? YES / NO

IS IT YOURS? YES / NO

REGISTRATION
NUMBER..................................(found on the piece of tin hanging from the bumper bar)

DO YOU HAVE A DRIVERS LICENCE? YES / NO

IS IT YOURS? YES / NO

ARE YOU WEARING RANGERS CLOTHING ON LICENCE PHOTO? YES / NO

COULD YOU DRIVE PLAYERS, MATCH COMMITTEE OR OTHER SUPPORTERS TO:

A) HOME GAMES YES / NO

B) AWAY GAMES (to keep costs down) YES / NO

DO YOU HAVE A WASHING MACHINE? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE PREPARED TO HELP WASH OUR TEAM FOOTY GEAR? YES / NO

(tick
which........socks....shorts....strips....jockstraps....hankie
s....bandages .... )

DO YOU OWN A BEACH SHACK YES / NO

COULD WE USE IT FOR THE PLAYERS "END OF SEASON TRIP?"
YES / NO

DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? YES / NO

ARE THEY YOURS? YES / NO

WOULD ANY OF THEM BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOR THE RANGERS? YES / NO

A) BOYS YES / NO

B) GIRLS YES / NO

HOW OLD ARE THEY? 1 - 10, 11 - 20, 21 - 30, 31 - 40, or don't know?

DO YOU HAVE ANY LARGE FOOTBALL TROPHIES (no name tags
) THAT YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DONATE TO THE CLUB FOR OUR TROPHY CABINET? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING OUR END OF SEASON DINNER? YES / NO

COULD YOU BRING ANYTHING ALONG ON THE NIGHT?

(e.g. fairy bread, party pies, cordial, plastic cups,
jelly) YES / NO

ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? YES / NO

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LEAD OUR SUPPORTERS IN PRAYER:

a) BEFORE HOME GAMES? YES / NO

b) BEFORE AWAY GAMES? YES / NO

c) BEFORE WE PLAY CELTIC? YES / NO

d) START TO FINISH OF A CELTIC GAME? YES /NO

PART TWO - I.Q TEST

1) PICK THE TV SHOW (circle the right name from the clues given )

BLANKETY______________ Cheque / Blanket / Blanks / Donation / don't know

I DREAM OF_____________ a premiership / Nakamura / Jeannie / having money / don't know

STAR TREK, THE NEXT____ Footy Show / SPL team / Generation / don't know

GET_____________________ Gordon Strachan / Lost / rid of Smith / Smart / don't know

HEY HEY IT'S ___________ a Premiership / smoko / Saturday / another defeat / don't know

WHO WANTS TO BE _____ a Millionaire / a Rangers member / stupid / Filip Sebo / don't know

2) PICK THE ODD ONE OUT ( circle the odd one from the lists below )

FEBRUARY 30th / MAY 38th / JUNE 40th / OCTOBER 33rd / APRIL 1st / don't know

SPOON / SOON / MOON / BOON / CHEESE / GOON / SWOON / don't know

A, B, C, D, 4, E, F, G, H, I, don't know

3) WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE?

"I THINKS BEARS IS THE BESTEST TEAM IN GLESGA"

IS IT:

a) BAD SPELING

b) BAD GRAMMA

c) BAD GRANDMA

d) DON'T KNOW




To find out if your membership application has been successful, please put a stamp on both sides of an envelope and leave one side blank. We will advise you by return mail.




BONUS: Please list in order your preferred complimentary Rangers Membership Surgery that comes with every successful membership application. We will try to allocate you a bed in an appropriate hospital, as one becomes available.

a) MOUTH ENLARGEMENT. b) ONE EYE REMOVED.( left or right ) c) BRAIN REMOVED

GOOD LUCK

Another facile three points last night and surely another realistic six in the bag, given that our last two fixtures are at home to Blackburn Rovers and Man City, which will see us clinch 5th place and UEFA Cup qualification via a league placing for the second year in succession.

Another great season, but it could and should have been even better, with a place at least in either or both the Carling Cup and UEFA Cup Finals spurned

It is with genuine sadness that I have to report the clearly audible and frequent renditions of the "Billy Boys" at last Saturday's IFA Cup Final. The disappointment was compounded by the fact that this did not rate even a mentionin the local media in the aftermath  of the game. Surely if the IFA is genuinely keen to eradicate sectarianism, it must now sanction the Linfield club in the same fashion that UEFA has recently sanctioned Rangers, for their fans similar sectarian singing.

With all due respect to those who are genuinely trying to solve this problem, it once again highlights the folly of having award ceremonies. These in my opinion are premature in the extreme