What's your relationship with alcohol?

Started by Boycey, October 12, 2018, 11:27:30 PM

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The Iceman

#75
there's a dangerous emphasis on alcohol in Ireland and many places in the world. When you visit or live in a country where life seems to have slower pace, the locals would seem to have a different relationship with alcohol.  When people gather to socialize the food and the conversation and the company would be 90% of the focus and alcohol would be a 10% byproduct? There's no excessive drinking or pushing alcohol on people.
At home in Ireland I think there's a heavy focus on alcohol when people gather, it would nearly be the central focus at times? Weddings, holidays, family parties...the mission is to get as much drink in to you as possible and bring as many people down that road with you as you can.  I read stories on bookface of family holidays in france being described as great because the kids are being watched in a play park and "me and the mrs wrote off on the patio drinking cheap red wine"

I never really enjoyed alcohol in my younger years. I just didn't like the taste. When I went to university I discovered some things I really enjoyed. Too much in many cases. I definitely drank to excess. I lived in the holylands during my placement year and me and one of my house mates worked for leading alcohol distributors. There was an abundance of alcohol in the house and I took full advantage of it. I found my health deteriorating (not seriously, but I lost my fitness) and thankfully got back in to boxing and mma and was able to give it up completely.  I didn't touch it for nearly 5 years in my 20s.

I still take a drink now and again. I enjoy a wee half bottle of buckfast on special occasions or a beer or two or a wee glass of black sambuca on ice to sip on (love licorice). The mrs would have a glass of wine with dinner most nights but she is Italian and grew up that way, always wine at the table.

I had a cousin who was more like a brother half reared in our house who died of alcoholism at 35. 7 years ago now. We didn't really do anything to help him.  In Ireland that seems to be the norm. Buying an alcoholic a pint. I still feel the guilt of it.  The things we do and neglect doing....

My kids will most likely drink. Most kids do right? Hopefully our example at home can show that alcohol doesn't have to be the focus and drunk doesn't have to be the goal.


I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

gallsman

Iceman, living in the States, what are your views on 18 Vs 21 as the legal drinking age? I firmly believe that parents and society have a responsibility to teach responsible attitudes to alcohol to their kids, especially when alcohol is likely to or inevitably going to play some part or another in their lives. When I was at college, we'd all been drinking for a few years and while occasionally making a show of ourselves, were used to it and able to handle it to an extent. However I found American students over here, because alcohol is harder to get and there seems to be more of an issue if they're caught drinking underage, would go absolutely buck daft on drink. They'd had little, if any, experience of it and consequently would start getting a little bit messy after even one of two bottles of beer. If they touched spirits it was goodnight for a lot of them.

The Iceman

Quote from: gallsman on October 15, 2018, 12:52:12 PM
Iceman, living in the States, what are your views on 18 Vs 21 as the legal drinking age? I firmly believe that parents and society have a responsibility to teach responsible attitudes to alcohol to their kids, especially when alcohol is likely to or inevitably going to play some part or another in their lives. When I was at college, we'd all been drinking for a few years and while occasionally making a show of ourselves, were used to it and able to handle it to an extent. However I found American students over here, because alcohol is harder to get and there seems to be more of an issue if they're caught drinking underage, would go absolutely buck daft on drink. They'd had little, if any, experience of it and consequently would start getting a little bit messy after even one of two bottles of beer. If they touched spirits it was goodnight for a lot of them.
I don't know if it's as relevant today gallsman. I have teenage nieces and a nephew over here and they all drink. Openly drink at 16, 17 and 18 at family events. I think most kids their age do because it's not a big deal anymore for parents. My nephew would chat away to us about parties where everyone is drunk and smoking weed and all of this is very normal (at least out in WA). Down in FL my nieces are at one house party or another most weekends and there's always alcohol involved on some level. So I think the 18 vrs 21 thing, although still a law, isn't as much of a difference as it would have been in my day at university when american students went clean nuts...
My kids are 10 and younger so haven't go to the alcohol question yet. I'll likely let them try beer and wine and hope that their own experimentations don't go too far...
I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

ziggysego

Great thread topic.

I have a fairly relaxed relationship with alcohol. No real dependancy or need for it. Have a few when I am out at the weekends, which isn't that often anymore. Sometimes go a few months without a drink. Two weeks since my last.

However, there have been periods, when things have been stressed in my life, where I will turn to drink and have a mad session. The last time was September '17. I had a lot going on in my head and couldn't deal with it. Made a real cod of myself. Since then, I've decided it was happening too often, so made a decision to not drink when under stress. So I now read anxiety books, when things get on top of me.

From January 2019, I am going to cut out drink completely. The last time I did that, I was off drink for 2 and 1/2 years. Hopefully match that and longer.
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Farrandeelin

Quote from: ziggysego on October 15, 2018, 06:14:05 PM
Great thread topic.

I have a fairly relaxed relationship with alcohol. No real dependancy or need for it. Have a few when I am out at the weekends, which isn't that often anymore. Sometimes go a few months without a drink. Two weeks since my last.

However, there have been periods, when things have been stressed in my life, where I will turn to drink and have a mad session. The last time was September '17. I had a lot going on in my head and couldn't deal with it. Made a real cod of myself. Since then, I've decided it was happening too often, so made a decision to not drink when under stress. So I now read anxiety books, when things get on top of me.

From January 2019, I am going to cut out drink completely. The last time I did that, I was off drink for 2 and 1/2 years. Hopefully match that and longer.

What anxiety books would they be? As already stated, stress is the cause of my seizures.
Inaugural Football Championship Prediction Winner.

BennyCake

Iceman, read many a time. Someone interviewed answering saying they'd like to have a nights drinking with Georgie best. Ffs the man was an alcoholic! Kind of sums up the Irish attitude to drink.

Tony Baloney

Quote from: BennyCake on October 15, 2018, 08:42:38 PM
Iceman, read many a time. Someone interviewed answering saying they'd like to have a nights drinking with Georgie best. Ffs the man was an alcoholic! Kind of sums up the Irish attitude to drink.
I have a relative who is a recovering alcoholic and when he was full blown on it, at his absolute lowest point, other relatives were saying he wasn't an alcoholic as he only drank pints. You couldn't make this shit up.

The Iceman

I have a good mate who took his mum away to dry her out a bit - recognizing she had a bit of a problem. Did great for the weeks away with him in another country. Flew home and her sister and brother in law lifted her at airport got a carry out on way home and sat at house drinking....

The whole not doing anyone any harm crap is enabling the disease and we're losing people unnecessarily.
I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

Jell 0 Biafra

Quote from: Farrandeelin on October 15, 2018, 08:35:05 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on October 15, 2018, 06:14:05 PM
Great thread topic.

I have a fairly relaxed relationship with alcohol. No real dependancy or need for it. Have a few when I am out at the weekends, which isn't that often anymore. Sometimes go a few months without a drink. Two weeks since my last.

However, there have been periods, when things have been stressed in my life, where I will turn to drink and have a mad session. The last time was September '17. I had a lot going on in my head and couldn't deal with it. Made a real cod of myself. Since then, I've decided it was happening too often, so made a decision to not drink when under stress. So I now read anxiety books, when things get on top of me.

From January 2019, I am going to cut out drink completely. The last time I did that, I was off drink for 2 and 1/2 years. Hopefully match that and longer.

What anxiety books would they be? As already stated, stress is the cause of my seizures.
There's a book called An End to Panic that I found very helpful.  Don't remember the author, but worth a splurge if you see it on Amazon.

Eamonnca1

I was about 16 when I had my first drink. My peer group was all about getting drunk, so I followed along with that, but when I get drunk I have a tendency to come out with stuff that makes perfect sense to me but to nobody else - also known as "talking shite." The result is I become the world's most annoying person when I'm drunk. It took me longer to figure this out than it should have, but I suppose it's better late than never.

I partied hard through my 20s and well into my 30s, but started to wind down the drinking after a few humdingers of hangovers and some episodes of somehow getting home through a dangerous part of the city but not remembering how I did it.

In my early 20s I took up Latin dancing, and that requires that you keep your drinking to a minimum, otherwise your lead can be too rough for the girls and you can mess a lot of things up. I eventually stopped going to ordinary clubs and spent more time in salsa clubs. As the dancing became more important to me the drink became less important, so it gradually disappeared out of my diet.

These days I'll have a glass of wine with my dinner some evenings, and maybe one bottle of cider while visiting the in-laws, but that's about it. I don't feel socially awkward without it at all, that's something that just comes with practice. Now that I'm not a drunken shite-talker I feel like the quality of my conversation has gone up, so I don't feel the need to have a drink to loosen up my tongue. There are ways of being good at the art of conversation, and I think it's better if you can do it without the booze.

Orior

I know two alcoholics very well.

One didn't stop until he was at death's door. It has taken a few years to recover, but it left scars.

The other is still on that downward spiral and won't admit there is a problem. It is tearing their family apart. 

Like any other drug, alcohol can be a positive thing. But it can be hard to realise when it has become an addiction.
Cover me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians

MoChara

#86
Fair play to the fellas sharing their struggles

I think I was 13 the first time I got drunk but didn't really go at regularly till I was about 15 and like a load of young fellas I went at it any time I got the chance, looking back it was clearly a crutch for a nervous disposition but I'd a mate that was similar to me so we'd both get trolleyed regularly, it was the freeing aspect of you could make an eejit of yourself and if anything happened you'd the excuse you were drunk, it's little wonder drinking is dropping off in youth these days though where make any mistake and its recorded forever, this has to be part of the rise in suicides in young people, they don't get to make their mistakes in private anymore.

We both used to work in bars so we'd be out mid week drinking during school term, to be fair we had some serious craic and I don't think I'd change much even if I was to go back but the perspective of looking back at it now is interesting for me. I remember looking at older people wondering why the f**k you'd stay in on a Saturday night, but then again the craic in the bars isn't the same anymore with more people electing to drink with friends at home.

This continued through uni and into the late twenties, I've settled down now lost near 3 stone and  going drinking is nearly a chore now and the thought of wasting my Sunday lying dying on the sofa annoys me when I could be at something a bit more useful and fulfilling. But there's still something in the back of my head wanting to go out with the boys and drink the head of myself for 3 days but I think its as much nostalgia as anything.

TabClear

Quote from: MoChara on October 16, 2018, 08:48:26 AM
Fair play to the fellas sharing their struggles

I think I was 13 the first time I got drunk but didn't really go at regularly till I was about 15 and like a load of young fellas I went at it any time I got the chance, looking back it was clearly a crutch for a nervous disposition but I'd a mate that was similar to me so we'd both get trolleyed regularly, it was the freeing aspect of you could make an eejit of yourself and if anything happened you'd the excuse you were drunk, it's little wonder drinking is dropping off in youth these days though where make any mistake and its recorded forever, this has to be part of the rise in suicides in young people, they don't get to make their mistakes in private anymore.

We both used to work in bars so we'd be out mid week drinking during school term, to be fair we had some serious craic and I don't think I'd change much even if I was to go back but the perspective of looking back at it now is interesting for me. I remember looking at older people wondering why the f**k you'd stay in on a Saturday night, but then again the craic in the bars isn't the same anymore with more people electing to drink with friends at home.

This continued through uni and into the late twenties, I've settled down now lost near 3 stone and  going drinking is nearly a chore now and the thought of wasting my Sunday lying dying on the sofa annoys me when I could be at something a bit more useful and fulfilling. But there's still something in the back of my head wanting to go out with the boys and drink the head of myself for 3 days but I think its as much nostalgia as anything.

I despise these people who are constantly videoing people in bars/house/street who have had a few too many. Its one thing taking a picture of a mate who is loaded but videoing strangers and posting it on social media is a low action. MOst of us have probably done things we are not proud of when you have had a few but in todays society if the wrong person is there it ends up all over social media.  As you say, if a tenth of the stuff I got up to in my Uni days had been videoed I'm reasonably confident I would not have ended up in the same place in my life I am now i terms of jobs, location and relationship.

ziggysego

Quote from: Farrandeelin on October 15, 2018, 08:35:05 PM
Quote from: ziggysego on October 15, 2018, 06:14:05 PM
Great thread topic.

I have a fairly relaxed relationship with alcohol. No real dependancy or need for it. Have a few when I am out at the weekends, which isn't that often anymore. Sometimes go a few months without a drink. Two weeks since my last.

However, there have been periods, when things have been stressed in my life, where I will turn to drink and have a mad session. The last time was September '17. I had a lot going on in my head and couldn't deal with it. Made a real cod of myself. Since then, I've decided it was happening too often, so made a decision to not drink when under stress. So I now read anxiety books, when things get on top of me.

From January 2019, I am going to cut out drink completely. The last time I did that, I was off drink for 2 and 1/2 years. Hopefully match that and longer.

What anxiety books would they be? As already stated, stress is the cause of my seizures.

Currently reading "How to survive the end of the world" by Aaron Gillies. Currently back at college part-time, doing a Level 4 Counselling course.
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Square Ball

very open and honest thread and has made me think a lot.

my father, god rest him, was an alcoholic at 16 and gave it up when he was 18 when he met a good woman, but he always said he was an alcoholic. he hated me drinking but it never stopped me, over drank when a youngster and as people have said thank god there was no such thing as mobiles.

would drink on a Friday and Saturday night, not usually to excess but what is too much? As a youngster I had those never again moments, which were consigned to the bin when I recovered.
Hospitals are not equipped to treat stupid