Author Topic: Corny One for Friday  (Read 508428 times)

Donagh

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Only...
« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2006, 05:59:57 PM »
Saddam is a Sunni

Orior

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2006, 07:21:30 PM »
Yeap, his Sunni is a Shi'ite too.
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Hardy

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Senility again
« Reply #17 on: November 13, 2006, 07:31:27 PM »
Old man goes to the doctor for his test results. "Bad news, I'm afraid,", says the doctor. "You've got cancer and you've got Alzheimers".

"Ah well", says the old man, "thank God it's not cancer".

Cuchullainns Bhoy

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #18 on: November 13, 2006, 07:53:25 PM »
Now, Hardy, as well as it may sound i think thats a tad bit wrong. :'(
Theres shite, and theres the above.^^^^^

Orior

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Puzzling one
« Reply #19 on: November 13, 2006, 08:49:47 PM »
Man goes up to house, knocks on the door and a woman answers. The man says "Is big Joe in?"

The woman replies sorrowfully "no, big Joe died last night"

The man thinks for a second and then says "Well, did he say anything about a paint brush?"
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Fiodoir Ard Mhacha

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #20 on: November 14, 2006, 08:13:00 AM »
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.

Response:

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will slow down before you are 65.
9. You find it difficult to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
11. And, if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management
"Something wrong with your eyes?....
Yes, they're sensitive to questions!"

Hardy

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #21 on: November 14, 2006, 08:18:02 AM »
Now, Hardy, as well as it may sound i think thats a tad bit wrong. :'(

??

Orior

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #22 on: November 14, 2006, 07:44:07 PM »
Has anyone ever successfullly taught themselves to do without lunch?

I know a farmer who said he once taught a horse to do without food alltogether. He said it took a couple of years to teach it.

Unfortunately as soon as he'd taught it successfully to do without food, the horse died. Pity.   :(
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Fionntamhnach

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #23 on: November 14, 2006, 07:53:01 PM »
Man walks into a bar...

...ouch!

johnneycool

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #24 on: November 15, 2006, 03:48:04 PM »
A Young man called Ron wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new
girlfriend. As they hadn't been seeing other for very long, he decided
after careful consideration, that a pair of gloves would strike the right
note, not too romantic and not too personal.
He went with his girlfriends sister to Harrods and bought a dainty
pair of white fur lined gloves, The sister bought a pair of Knickers for
herself at the same time.
During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items, the
sister got the gloves and Ron got the knickers. Without checking Ron
sealed the package and sent it to his new girlfriend with the following
letter:-
Dear Sasha,
I chose these because i've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go
out in the evenings. If it had not been for your sister I would
have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones which are
easier to remove.
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady i bought them from
showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they
were hardly soiled at all, I had her try yours on for me and she looked really
smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her.
She also said that the pair rubs her ring which helps keep it
clean and shiny, In fact she she has'nt needed to wash it since she began
wearing them. I wish i was there to put them on for you the first time, as
no doubt many other hands will touch them before i have a chance to see you
again.
When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit
because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing, Just think how many
times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.
All my love
Ron.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little
bit of fur showing.

thewobbler

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Apologies if you find this offensive
« Reply #25 on: November 16, 2006, 03:33:38 PM »
But I nearly wet myself when I saw this...




Poor jesus

guy crouchback

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #26 on: November 16, 2006, 03:36:08 PM »

Cuchullainns Bhoy

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #27 on: November 16, 2006, 08:14:01 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbP4YAsd374

If you dont laugh, consider yourself dead inside
Theres shite, and theres the above.^^^^^

ITOB

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St Arma's New Avatar
« Reply #28 on: November 17, 2006, 12:34:30 AM »

Sky Blue

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Re: Corny One for Friday
« Reply #29 on: November 17, 2006, 08:17:56 AM »
Admin can you remove this pornographic image? The above link IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!! Using a childs photograph like that is a disgrace. What if someone from her family or friends at nursery were to see that?

ITOB - can you report yourself to Admin again? You made an inappropriate post last night when you were drunk.