Things that make you go What the F**k?

Started by The Real Laoislad, November 19, 2007, 05:54:25 PM

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Declan

#2131
August 24, 2012, 01:47:12 PM
A FATHER of three who had sex with his ex-wife's bull mastiff dog was spared a prison sentence today.

Nicholas Saunders, 46, was caught in bed with Sasha by Kelly Thacker, mother of two of his children.

Saunders, of Lechlade, Gloucestershire, was convicted by a jury at Gloucester Crown Court in June of having intercourse with an animal.

Today the court heard that Saunders continues to deny his guilt.

Recorder Stewart Patterson sentenced Saunders to a two-year community order, placed him on the sex offenders register for five years and ordered him to attend a sex offenders' treatment programme.

He told Saunders: "On January 15 2011 you had a row with your partner and as a result of that you went to visit your ex-partner of some considerable years.

"Having visited her, you took to her bed while she was downstairs.

"Ms Thacker was not asleep and she heard you summoning the dog, a bull mastiff, to the bedroom.

"She then went to see what was happening and she saw what you were doing.

"You were performing an act of penetration of the dog's vagina with your penis."

The judge added: "It is quite clear your behaviour that night demonstrates a distorted sexualised thinking which needs to be addressed by you.

"Although you continue to deny the incident, I am heartened to see you are fully prepared to work with the Probation Service to address these issues."

Saunders was also made the subject of a restraining order for four years, which bans him from any property where Ms Thacker and her children live unless he gets a court order or written permission from his ex-wife.

Ms Thacker told the court of her shock at discovering her ex-husband having intercourse with the family pet.

During the two-day trial in June, Ms Thacker, who has teenage twin girls with Saunders, told the court she rejected her ex-husband's advances towards her after he had a fight with his bipolar girlfriend and sought comfort at her home.

It was soon afterwards that she found him having sex with Sasha.

The jury was told Saunders, a fencing contractor, and his ex-wife remained on good terms following their separation 13 years ago. Saunders went to her house at around 1.45am.

The prosecution said he was looking for more than just comfort that night and when Ms Thacker made clear to him that he did not have a chance with her, he turned to the large female dog.

Giving evidence, Ms Thacker, who owns a male boxer as well as the bull mastiff, said Saunders told the dog "You've just ruined my chances" when it jumped on to the bed between herself and her ex-husband.

She told the court she took this to mean he had wanted to have sex with her.

After going downstairs, she heard her ex-husband whistle to the dogs, calling them to come upstairs.

A little while later she went to check on Saunders, who she said had been "a little bit drunk".

But when she got halfway up the stairs she looked through the banisters and saw something that left her in shock.

"It was just too quiet, whereas he'd been mumbling before, so I thought I would just go and check," she said.

"I didn't go all the way up, just halfway to the top banister. The bull mastiff was leant on her side and he (Saunders) was trying to guide his penis into her.

"I think I must have hit some kind of shock and I hid back a bit. I then looked round again.

"He was on all fours holding her thighs. He was having intercourse with her. She wasn't even moving."

Ms Thacker added: "It was just utter shock, you don't think anything like this could happen."

Saunders denied the charge and claimed his ex-wife had seen him merely "climbing over the dog" to get out of bed to use the toilet.

He told the court it was he who spurned Ms Thacker's advances that night and claimed he merely "tolerated" his ex-wife for the sake of their children.

He claimed it was because he had not wanted to sleep with her that she made up the allegation against him.

"The allegation is a total lie," he told jurors.

But the jury did not believe him and unanimously convicted him of the charge.

Following his arrest, Saunders was asked to provide an "intimate sample" from his penis which, following forensic examinations, showed a 100pc match to the DNA of a domestic dog.

Frank Abbott, prosecuting, said it would have been an "incredible coincidence" that DNA was found on a "fairly inaccessible" part of Saunders, backing up what Ms Thacker told the court she had seen.

Mr Abbott told the court the case had caused "a considerable degree of distress" to Saunders' ex-wife and their daughters.

- Rod Minchin

Denn Forever

#2133
August 25, 2012, 11:27:24 AM
Loretta Lynn was married at 13.  Hard to imagine that now.  More what the f**k was that she had 4 children by the time she was 18.
I have more respect for a man
that says what he means and
means what he says...

LeoMc

#2134
August 27, 2012, 10:44:18 PM
First Mrs Browns boys now Citizen Khan!

Can we expect Allo Allo and the Black and White Minstrel show back soon?
Has John Terry taken over as BBC scheduler?

maggie

#2135
August 28, 2012, 10:55:20 PM
People who would set fire to a dog. Can't put the link to the story using this not so smartphone but it was horrible to see how they left the poor wee dog.

here comes 6

#2136
August 28, 2012, 11:23:45 PM
Rooney out for at least a month due to a cut in his leg?  A USA runner ran 200mtrs with a broken leg and he F**king out?  Too much f**king money

Forever Green

#2137
August 28, 2012, 11:44:22 PM
Quote from: here comes 6 on August 28, 2012, 11:23:45 PM
Rooney out for at least a month due to a cut in his leg?  A USA runner ran 200mtrs with a broken leg and he F**king out?  Too much f**king money

f**king awful, isn`t it? Some of these tubes need to come over and watch a good hurling game

Puckoon

#2138
August 29, 2012, 03:34:38 PM
I had an early start this morning so I thought I'd listen to a bit of the radio from home. Liveline etc..

Anyway, the show ended so I thought I'd give Tubridy a turn. Sweet mother of Jesus. He just said that play school was university for Dwarves.

Not to mention the poor caller who said she contracted gum disease from her ex, and now refused to kiss her current boyfriend because she didn't want to give him gum disease.

WTF.

Minder

#2139
August 31, 2012, 07:09:41 PM
The "Cheque Centre" in the Park Centre in West Belfast with a sign in the window - "Now cashing school uniform grants".
"When it's too tough for them, it's just right for us"

ONeill

#2140
September 04, 2012, 11:48:56 PM
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.

Hardy

#2143
September 11, 2012, 11:02:10 AM Last Edit: September 11, 2012, 11:03:46 AM by Hardy
Quote from: armaghniac on September 11, 2012, 10:50:20 AM
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/world-news/woman-kills-husband-by-mistake-16209389.html

I think I'm going to subscribe to the BT. I went in to have a look at this story and I've never seen so many great headlines in the one place:

•   Prince Harry 'naked for long time'
•   Killer footballer used two knives
•   A Mysterious Lady Wakes Up Dead
•   Irish speaking PSNI officer stuns bigot
and the most far-fetched of all:
•   Andy Murray beats Novak Djokovic to win US Open

I'm saving reading about "Irish speaking PSNI officer stuns bigot" as a little treat for myself later on.

Bingo

#2144
September 11, 2012, 02:37:12 PM
LMFM radio station do a "deal" section and email out details, got one with a good offer for the Fiddlers Elbow in Carrickmacross - of the Banty and Slasher fame. Great deal today - meal for 2 from their 4 course sel menu for €30, normally €50.

But the line in the promo about the restaurant near cracked me up. It was as follows:

"Famous with GAA fans, this Family owned business attracts 1000's during the football season in the hope that they might meet a member of the Mc Enaney Family."

;D  ;D
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