Dogs

[Puckoon]

Nah, I don't mind greyhounds now. That was the only time that I have seen one out on it's own. It broke out of a neighbour's garden. It's those bull something or other. They are owned by fat, tatooed skin heads.
About a year ago this fecker came running at me barking like fcuk and was about to ate the shite out of me. It's woman owner shouted, "He'll not touch you". Like fcuk missus and I hit it a kick. "Don't kick him" she shouts. The fecker came back for more and received another boot in the mouth. She was disgusted and started giving off to me. I told her politely that if her dog has another go at me I am going to kick her. Stupid aul bitch!

Theres feck all eating in you hardstation!

Yeah, the pit bulls are generally owned by arseholes, and they never get them fixed, so the shelters over here are coming down with pitbull mix and pitbull dogs. They still need a home though. Maybe down the line Ill consider one. I just dont think they are that great a dog. But I could be convinced. The sister in law has a pit mixed with a lab, its like the biggest lab in the world with a head like this:



Still though, wee feckers like this being put down is a real killer for me:

[gaagaa]

"He'll not touch you". Like fcuk missus

the most commonly told lie by dog owners
that and "the child must have provoked my dog"

[Puckoon]

"He'll not touch you". Like fcuk missus

the most commonly told lie by dog owners
that and "the child must have provoked my dog"

Well you see that line can be true to an extent, but it shouldnt ever be used as an excuse. I was having breakfast about a month ago with Mrs Puckoon and the two boys outside a resturaunt at the tables on the patio (some places let you take animals to eat if you are sitting outside - reno is pretty dog friendly). Anyways, this woman with 2 kids came down, maybe 5-6 years old. The dogs were sleeping at my feet, and I dont know if it was being startled, or if it was the size of the toddler, but my smallest retriver gave a couple of good barks at the woman and her two kids. Then to top it all off, as I was trying to make him be quiet, the other pup (who just wants to say hello to everyone), got loose on me and ran over to say hello to one of the girls. She started screaming her head off. The dogs hadnt done anything wrong, the children hadnt done anything wrong, and Im pretty sure Mrs Puckoon or I hadnt done anything wrong. Never the less I felt so guilty about startling the children that I paid for their breakfast. I still get red thinking about it. I couldnt look at the pups the rest of the day, and they knew they'd done something wrong (even though they hadnt).

[Puckoon]

what do those words mean tram? chavvy/skangy

[Puckoon]

Synonyms of w*nk*rs Puckoon.

This is the right idea.



I bet ya the dog's owner is out of the picture shouting, "He'll not touch ya".

No no, that dogs particular owner is inside entertaining and eating and drinking the bit out! One thing is right, they have the irish weather down in that picture!

[ziggysego]

what do those words mean tram? chavvy/skangy

Think along the lines of the Belfast Spides and you'll not go far wrong.

[Puckoon]

Synonyms of w*nk*rs Puckoon.

This is the right idea.



I bet ya the dog's owner is out of the picture shouting, "He'll not touch ya".

This thread is about renshaws, thats me outside it, beating the armagh beauties off with a big stick!

[pintsofguinness]

About a year ago this fecker came running at me barking like fcuk and was about to ate the shite out of me. It's woman owner shouted, "He'll not touch you". Like fcuk missus and I hit it a kick. "Don't kick him" she shouts. The fecker came back for more and received another boot in the mouth. She was disgusted and started giving off to me. I told her politely that if her dog has another go at me I am going to kick her. Stupid aul bitch!

He probably wasn't going to touch you.  Dogs can sense fear and a lot of them will have great sport with you if they think you're scared.
If you lifted your boot to my dog I'd kick you round the place myself.

This boy I know was bragging a some time ago about catching the neighbours dog in his garden and stoning him back to his own house, a few days later he'd to go to the neighbours and the dog took a lump out of him - a couple of weeks after that he'd to go back and the dog took another lump out of him - how I laughed! 

Well you see that line can be true to an extent, but it shouldnt ever be used as an excuse. I was having breakfast about a month ago with Mrs Puckoon and the two boys outside a resturaunt at the tables on the patio (some places let you take animals to eat if you are sitting outside - reno is pretty dog friendly). Anyways, this woman with 2 kids came down, maybe 5-6 years old. The dogs were sleeping at my feet, and I dont know if it was being startled, or if it was the size of the toddler, but my smallest retriver gave a couple of good barks at the woman and her two kids. Then to top it all off, as I was trying to make him be quiet, the other pup (who just wants to say hello to everyone), got loose on me and ran over to say hello to one of the girls. She started screaming her head off. The dogs hadnt done anything wrong, the children hadnt done anything wrong, and Im pretty sure Mrs Puckoon or I hadnt done anything wrong. Never the less I felt so guilty about startling the children that I paid for their breakfast. I still get red thinking about it. I couldnt look at the pups the rest of the day, and they knew they'd done something wrong (even though they hadnt).

Who started screaming, the child or the mother?
I think children should be arounds animals from when they're babies.

[Gaoth Dobhair Abu]

We have two Springers at home - Kila and Fionn, absolutely fantastic dogs, real family dogs and totally child friendly, also have the "cute" factor.
Used to have Irish Red Setters, again fantastic dogs, Really intellegent, except when it came to cars! 
Always remember when I was younger, the dogs used to leave dead animals (birds, mice, rabbits,etc) at the back door step!
Remember having to get rid of about half a dozen chickens remains when I was about 12 when we were down at my Grannies, was scared that if anyone seen the chickens the dog would get put down!
Ah the good old days.

[Puckoon]

About a year ago this fecker came running at me barking like fcuk and was about to ate the shite out of me. It's woman owner shouted, "He'll not touch you". Like fcuk missus and I hit it a kick. "Don't kick him" she shouts. The fecker came back for more and received another boot in the mouth. She was disgusted and started giving off to me. I told her politely that if her dog has another go at me I am going to kick her. Stupid aul bitch!

He probably wasn't going to touch you.  Dogs can sense fear and a lot of them will have great sport with you if they think you're scared.
If you lifted your boot to my dog I'd kick you round the place myself.

This boy I know was bragging a some time ago about catching the neighbours dog in his garden and stoning him back to his own house, a few days later he'd to go to the neighbours and the dog took a lump out of him - a couple of weeks after that he'd to go back and the dog took another lump out of him - how I laughed! 

Well you see that line can be true to an extent, but it shouldnt ever be used as an excuse. I was having breakfast about a month ago with Mrs Puckoon and the two boys outside a resturaunt at the tables on the patio (some places let you take animals to eat if you are sitting outside - reno is pretty dog friendly). Anyways, this woman with 2 kids came down, maybe 5-6 years old. The dogs were sleeping at my feet, and I dont know if it was being startled, or if it was the size of the toddler, but my smallest retriver gave a couple of good barks at the woman and her two kids. Then to top it all off, as I was trying to make him be quiet, the other pup (who just wants to say hello to everyone), got loose on me and ran over to say hello to one of the girls. She started screaming her head off. The dogs hadnt done anything wrong, the children hadnt done anything wrong, and Im pretty sure Mrs Puckoon or I hadnt done anything wrong. Never the less I felt so guilty about startling the children that I paid for their breakfast. I still get red thinking about it. I couldnt look at the pups the rest of the day, and they knew they'd done something wrong (even though they hadnt).

Who started screaming, the child or the mother?
I think children should be arounds animals from when they're babies.

Pints the child started crying and trying to climb up the mother, who in turn started saying, oh shes so scared of dogs, you shouldnt have let yours go. I was mortified, it was a complete accident. The best of it was, poor Elvis was just sittin there at her feet waggin his tail.

[pintsofguinness]

That's why children should be around, not only dogs, but animals from when they're babies.

[gaagaa]

puckoon that's the post of the month

[5 Sams]

Grew up with dogs all my life. Mostly "Jack Russells"...wicked wee cnuts but very loyal. Nasty to strangers.
The most intelligent animals I have ever come across are "sheepdogs"...usually border collie mixes.

I have a choc lab now. VV smart..easily trained..fantastic with children. Need loads of exercise though. Barks like fcuk at someone coming to the door and when they come in will lick them to death!! Best looking dog in the world IMHO.

[Aerlik]

Ah Jayzus lads the bit about Renshaws and the follow up gags have left me with tears streaming down my face in fits of laughter.  Very, very funny.  

The one and only time I have been bitten by a dog was by a Border Collie belonging to the neighbours...  I was 13 at the time and 'twas a cold November day in the hoors owner's pratie field and I had just managed to fill my box (one a day) for the grand sum of £1.50, only for the tight-arsed auld git to come along and deny me 25p as it wasn't full enough for the spuds to be falling off the top.  On the way out of the field I made the mistake of going over to Ringo to say my farewells and assure him I'll never lift another spud for his owner when the hoor made a drive for me and nipped me on the knee.  The deal was sealed.

Main Street one of our Jack Russells was just as you suggested a dog should be, ie. able to distinguish between friend and foe.  He knew the sound of all the friendly cars and God help you if you tried to get into the house if he didn't recognise either your voice or your car.  They have arguably the worst eyesight in any dog breed.  (Mind you when your bred for the purpose of going down a dark hole after some smelly hoor call Rennard you don't need good eyesight.)  For a few years we would graze a few dozen sheep over the winter and to get over the lack of a Lassie or Laddie my brother decided to train the Jack Russell.  He would take the dog's favourite limegreen tennis ball with him, go to the gate, tease the dog for about a minute, get the attention of the sheep, then launch the ball with my hurl into the field towards the sheep.  The dog would tear after the ball hell for leather into the middle of the field, and unbeknownst to him the sheep would see this wee white thing bobbing over the grass towards them and they'd get curious and race towards him.  Well, Jayzus the dog nearly shat himself.  Grabbed the ball and back to the gate like blue fcuk he raced with the sheep in hot pursuit.  The brother would open the gate, the dog didn't stop and raced on towards the yard and the sheep followed.  Problem solved.  Worked everytime.

Whatever you do, stay well clear of those wee feckin Spitz dogs if you have wanes.  Vicious bastards and one of them turned on my wee lad when he was about two.  Luckily for both the dog didn't bite but I drove my boot as hard as I could into the hoor's belly it never came near either of us again.  Feckin cottonwool with fangs.  Fecker.

When it comes to intelligence Border Collies are the pick of the bunch.  I met a lad over here who had a Dingo-Collie cross.  Not only a great looking animal but by far the smartest dog I have ever seen.  I said two from two and it said nothing.

[stephenite]

That's why children should be around, not only dogs, but animals from when they're babies.

All well and good, but completely impractical for a lot of people who grow up in disadvantaged urban sprawls