Depression

Started by Eamonnca1, October 25, 2013, 09:11:55 PM

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illdecide

Guys its unreal just how bad it is, in a changing room it's all you hear and phones out gambling on anything that moves with livescore going flat out. Young men who can't even have a conversation with you or look you in the face as all they care about is the bet they've done and if it's winning or not. The changing rooms have changed so much these days, I stopped gambling altogether just so as my son didn't see me go in there as i would hate it if he ended up there. Gambling really is one of the worst habits out there, it breaks my heart looking at them students on the Ormeau Rd in Belfast all rigged out in their GAA gear drinking and gambling like money is no object...Sad.
I can swim a little but i can't fly an inch

toby47

#526
Common conversation in changing rooms now after training

Player 1 - 'jeez Athletico are 1-0 up against Liverpool'

Player 2 - Frig, they were 4/1 too'

The amount of times I hear someone mention the score of the game, followed by the price of a team in the bookies is unreal.

TwoUpTwoDown

Quote from: toby47 on March 18, 2020, 10:12:17 AM
Common conversation in changing rooms now after training

Player 1 - 'jeez Athletico are 1-0 against Liverpool'

Player 2 - Frig, they were 4/1 too'

The amount of times I hear someone mention the score of the game, followed by the price of a team in the bookies is unreal.

I can definitely relate to this. It's completely the norm in our changing room. It's everywhere and it needs to be stamped out. You don't have to dig too much to hear some horrible stories.

pbat

Today i've hit a wall. Just took the wind out of my sails. Went to be bed at Four O Clock but have had to get back up as I was just lying there going to some dark and strange places. Im not a house drinker which is a good thing cause I know if a pub was open today Id been in it all day.

Off work now six weeks generally bored on Sundays but kept a form of structure to my week days as best as possible.  But today looked at a few wee jobs then just locked the shed and said no. Didn't even go for my walk. Suppose I will try again tomorrow.

Smurfy123

Keep the head up pbat. Maybe keep interacting on here for the night
Tomorrow is a new day. Restart again then
Put the kettle on and grab yourself a coffee

paddyjohn

Quote from: pbat on May 04, 2020, 08:43:29 PM
Today i've hit a wall. Just took the wind out of my sails. Went to be bed at Four O Clock but have had to get back up as I was just lying there going to some dark and strange places. Im not a house drinker which is a good thing cause I know if a pub was open today Id been in it all day.

Off work now six weeks generally bored on Sundays but kept a form of structure to my week days as best as possible.  But today looked at a few wee jobs then just locked the shed and said no. Didn't even go for my walk. Suppose I will try again tomorrow.

Keep the head up pal. I hit the wall a few days into lockdown and it was hellish. Keep at it, brighter days will come. Drop me a message if you need a chat. 👍

Substandard

Look after yourself pbat, there are days like that, but they come and go, just as surely as better ones do.  Give yourself a break- music, films, reading, chat a friend or relative on the phone- whatever is a distraction for you.
I've had days exactly like you describe. You keep dwelling on the negatives, or sometimes it's nothing you can pinpoint,  just an absence of happiness.  It's a sticky mess, hard to shake off, and it feels like it's pulling you down, and it feels like your thought processes are all over the shop. 
What works for me, now it did take a while,  is to try and train your mind to sectors.  You can't just block it all out, and trying that, or trying to pretend it's not there, takes a hell of a lot of energy.  Give yourself 20 minutes every so often where you think about it: analyse it, jot down lists, what you think is wrong,  what you think are problems,  what you think are weaknesses: whatever is on your mind for that 20 minutes,  then put the brakes on, and take time to clear your mind.  Listen to music: your favourites, old memories- it doesn't have to be happy-clappy, or eye of the tiger stuff.  Chat someone- a friend,  relative, whoever.  Watch a film or a documentary.  Read something.  This is 'you' time.  Later on, go back in your mind and how you feel.  It's like a boxing match: you train,  you spar, you fight a round, you take a break.  Or you can use a football league analogy and prepare for a match.
What's important is that, over time, you are calling the shots, and you are dictating the terms of when you are engaging.  That feeling you described today, I know that.  It feels overwhelming,  stifling,  it's wearing you down in a war of attrition in your mind, and that is hugely energy-sapping.  But it doesn't have to be played under those terms.  I'm 3 years on from my last bad bout of depression.  It's not a bed of roses since, and it's not going to make a rags to riches film anytime soon, but I have only lost a very few rounds since.  And I am getting to the stage that I'm pretty confident it will never have the same hold on me again.  And that's a good feeling.  It's there for you, too, and you'll get there.
One of the most significant lines I picked up on my journey was 'How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time'.
You take care, and the very best of luck to you. 
There will be better days ahead.

Jell 0 Biafra

This is great advice.   

Lists are good.  They're recommended for dealing with anxiety/panic, as I know from personal experience. I would think they'd be good for depression too. 

One bite at a time.

Taylor

Quote from: pbat on May 04, 2020, 08:43:29 PM
Today i've hit a wall. Just took the wind out of my sails. Went to be bed at Four O Clock but have had to get back up as I was just lying there going to some dark and strange places. Im not a house drinker which is a good thing cause I know if a pub was open today Id been in it all day.

Off work now six weeks generally bored on Sundays but kept a form of structure to my week days as best as possible.  But today looked at a few wee jobs then just locked the shed and said no. Didn't even go for my walk. Suppose I will try again tomorrow.

Keep the head up pbat.

As others have said structure is key - get in a routine and you know what you are doing at different stages of the day.

Whatever you do try to push yourself to get your walk done - go a different route or through some woodland if possible - always find this is better than walking the road

TwoUpTwoDown

Quote from: pbat on May 04, 2020, 08:43:29 PM
Today i've hit a wall. Just took the wind out of my sails. Went to be bed at Four O Clock but have had to get back up as I was just lying there going to some dark and strange places. Im not a house drinker which is a good thing cause I know if a pub was open today Id been in it all day.

Off work now six weeks generally bored on Sundays but kept a form of structure to my week days as best as possible.  But today looked at a few wee jobs then just locked the shed and said no. Didn't even go for my walk. Suppose I will try again tomorrow.

Keep it going pbat. It's a horrible place to be in but you can get yourself out of it. As others have said, structure is key and what has worked for me in the past. I'm not a list person but I almost forced the positives to be in my life. I would revisit things that were real happy memories, rewatch all ireland wins etc etc all simple steps to a healthier and more positive thought process. Exercise is key, I tip about at a bit of running and that feeling you get when you land home is unrivalled. These are lonely and dark times and we all have to make an effort with our mental health, you're not alone in anything you face and while we can  certainly think our way deeper into these things - I also think we can force our thoughts to steer us out of them. Take care

paddyjohn

Giving this a bump lads & ladies.

Keep talking and keep the spirits up.

Helix.

Hope men are keeping well in these tough times in lockdown in COVID.

Dire Ear

This is a condensed list from somewhere,  hope someone gets something from it...
1-  Make tiny continuous changes to daily habits
2-  Exercise for 5 minutes every day
3-  How to get to your goal, you must do the thing you think you cannot do
4-  Avoid making a rush judgement about a fellow human
5- Take the leap you want to make right now
6-  You're not perfectstop trying to be--be yourself
7-  Treat others the way you want to be trated
8-  Accept and love the imperfection in all things
9-  Make room for simple pleasures
10-  Put down the smart phone for a while
11-  Make lists, going thru them and putting a line thru accomplishments will help
12-  Even the most self-reliant of us need help, talk to others, a wee bit at the start
  GOOD LUCK

paddyjohn

Lockdown has taken its toll. Thankfully I'm back to work after furlough! Some lads and ladies aren't so lucky.

dublin7

The weather definitely plays a part as well. During the long evenings in the summer it was easy to get out for a walk in the evenings. It's alot different this time of year trying to motivate yourself to go out on a cold dark evening.

I would say try and get some exercise. If you're work try and get out of the office/job for a 15 min stroll at work just to get some fresh air and a break.