Forgiveness

Started by IolarCoisCuain, August 21, 2018, 09:48:02 PM

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ONeill

Never forgive or forget. You don't have to. Just learn.
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.

The Iceman

Mickey's case is a very rare one- I pray none of us have to deal with the particular circumstances. I think he is right to boycott the station.

In the broader context of forgiveness it's a tough one. We're all guilty at some time or other of wronging others and would love second chances and third chances and more chances and we've all been wronged at times and given up on the people who wronged us.  The question is should we forgive and be forgiven....

I would side with Puck on this, as hard as it is, forgiveness is the better path for our long term mental health. 
I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

Owen Brannigan

Quote from: ONeill on August 23, 2018, 08:58:01 PM
Never forgive or forget. You don't have to. Just learn.

+1

And you don't have to take it from the sanctimonious who tell you to 'deal with it' or be christian, they haven't walked in your shoes.

Quote from: Milltown Row2 on August 23, 2018, 11:46:25 AM
........... you can't expect to be a cnut and get away with it all the time

Unfortunately, there are a fair few of them walking around who would certainly appear to be getting away with it.

The Iceman

Quote from: Owen Brannigan on August 23, 2018, 09:24:19 PM
Quote from: ONeill on August 23, 2018, 08:58:01 PM
Never forgive or forget. You don't have to. Just learn.

+1

And you don't have to take it from the sanctimonious who tell you to 'deal with it' or be christian, they haven't walked in your shoes.

Quote from: Milltown Row2 on August 23, 2018, 11:46:25 AM
........... you can't expect to be a cnut and get away with it all the time

Unfortunately, there are a fair few of them walking around who would certainly appear to be getting away with it.
there's nothing sanctimonious about offering advice to someone. You don't know what shoes anyone has walked in don't pretend to be the only one on the receiving end of something. What would someone have to go through and come out the other side of before you would listen to their advice?
Bit of a narrow view if you ask me....but I forgive your ignorance :P
I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

ONeill

Quote from: The Iceman on August 23, 2018, 09:31:30 PM
Quote from: Owen Brannigan on August 23, 2018, 09:24:19 PM
Quote from: ONeill on August 23, 2018, 08:58:01 PM
Never forgive or forget. You don't have to. Just learn.

+1

And you don't have to take it from the sanctimonious who tell you to 'deal with it' or be christian, they haven't walked in your shoes.

Quote from: Milltown Row2 on August 23, 2018, 11:46:25 AM
........... you can't expect to be a cnut and get away with it all the time

Unfortunately, there are a fair few of them walking around who would certainly appear to be getting away with it.
there's nothing sanctimonious about offering advice to someone. You don't know what shoes anyone has walked in don't pretend to be the only one on the receiving end of something. What would someone have to go through and come out the other side of before you would listen to their advice?
Bit of a narrow view if you ask me....but I forgive your ignorance :P

That's an even narrower view surely on your part.

The wider view would be...ok...I trust your judgement on this. None of my business.
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.

Puckoon

Alright alright alright. Upon reflection, I regret the flippant nature of my comments. They're directed mostly at myself as an affirmation of what I believe but in today's day and age of mental health I should have been more cognizant of the potential to rub salt on wounds that may clearly still be open for people who read and post on this board. That wasn't my intention and while I'm somewhat connected with A previous posters former place of work, I'm ignorant of the details as to what actually happened and I certainly wasn't trying to offer advice or make my comments seem pointed in that regard.

I've no idea what anyone else has gone through but I do stand by my sentiment that I'd be disappointed at myself if I was unable to forgive. Without going into detail I've had plenty of wrongs fired my way and the last thing I want on my deathbed is the face or memory of someone who wronged me. I feel better moving on and particularly moving above those instances and those people. Part of that is in my opinion the ability to forgive. But I don't forget.

I dealt with it. I under stand that's a huge simplification and I think it's fair to say that everyone probably has a scale on which they can forgive and a scale on which they couldn't.

Sanctimony is not my intention or goal so I've no problem apologizing for the perception of being such. Genuinely wasn't what I wanted to add to the conversation. I find the forgiveness thing a really interesting window into personality and psychology. I know people who can't forgive the smallest of things and I really do pity that as a default setting. It's often wielded as a mis placed badge of honor and it never fails to bemuse me when I see that trait in people. Clearly for more serious issues there's a scale of what people are prepared to forgive and what they aren't. I guess I'm happy enough in my ability so far, or maybe I've just not been unfortunate enough to have the worst things happen to me yet. I'm not convinced on the latter yet.

Milltown Row2

Quote from: Puckoon on August 24, 2018, 01:00:57 AM
Alright alright alright. Upon reflection, I regret the flippant nature of my comments. They're directed mostly at myself as an affirmation of what I believe but in today's day and age of mental health I should have been more cognizant of the potential to rub salt on wounds that may clearly still be open for people who read and post on this board. That wasn't my intention and while I'm somewhat connected with A previous posters former place of work, I'm ignorant of the details as to what actually happened and I certainly wasn't trying to offer advice or make my comments seem pointed in that regard.

I've no idea what anyone else has gone through but I do stand by my sentiment that I'd be disappointed at myself if I was unable to forgive. Without going into detail I've had plenty of wrongs fired my way and the last thing I want on my deathbed is the face or memory of someone who wronged me. I feel better moving on and particularly moving above those instances and those people. Part of that is in my opinion the ability to forgive. But I don't forget.

I dealt with it. I under stand that's a huge simplification and I think it's fair to say that everyone probably has a scale on which they can forgive and a scale on which they couldn't.

Sanctimony is not my intention or goal so I've no problem apologizing for the perception of being such. Genuinely wasn't what I wanted to add to the conversation. I find the forgiveness thing a really interesting window into personality and psychology. I know people who can't forgive the smallest of things and I really do pity that as a default setting. It's often wielded as a mis placed badge of honor and it never fails to bemuse me when I see that trait in people. Clearly for more serious issues there's a scale of what people are prepared to forgive and what they aren't. I guess I'm happy enough in my ability so far, or maybe I've just not been unfortunate enough to have the worst things happen to me yet. I'm not convinced on the latter yet.

It's ok, I forgive you.
:o
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Ea

Champion The Wonder Horse

Quote from: ONeill on August 23, 2018, 08:58:01 PM
Never forgive or forget. You don't have to. Just learn.

Would agree with this. To quote Springsteen "Nothing is forgotten or forgiven."

I don't think I've ever seen a sincere apology; just sorry about getting caught.

Not a big believer in karma either; bad things happen to good people.

Owen Brannigan

Quote from: Puckoon on August 24, 2018, 01:00:57 AM
I feel better moving on and particularly moving above those instances and those people. Part of that is in my opinion the ability to forgive. But I don't forget.

I dealt with it. I under stand that's a huge simplification and I think it's fair to say that everyone probably has a scale on which they can forgive and a scale on which they couldn't.

What I and others said.  Move on, don't forget, learn, don't waste energy holding or carrying a grudge as they are not worth it.  Basically, learn and move on. 

Forgiveness is a concept which makes the wrongdoer feel better but does nothing for the wronged. So, to me, forgiveness is not a necessary part of moving on.


ONeill

Will never forgive Armagh 02 or Derry winning Sam in 93. Both scarred me.
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.

grounded

Quote from: ONeill on August 26, 2018, 09:08:09 AM
Will never forgive Armagh 02 or Derry winning Sam in 93. Both scarred me.

Scarred, scared or scoured or all three?

ONeill

And unfortunately I can't forget them.
I wanna have my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.