A. Hardy & Sons - Licensed Vintners, No underage gobshites please!

[Treasurer]

I'd like to hear Johnny B Goode

[ONeill]

Any other requests before we start?

Cheeky baxtard Lynchbhoy. No I wonder play 'From a Distance', 20 miles away.

[muppet]

<muppet lifts head off bar for 1st time in an hour>
<drunktalk>

Bolly Blue gimma anoher guinness and a bottle of crips......
Whah r youuuuuuuuu lookin' at O'Neill?.......Where's that Parshons lover Owenbigsh*te?...
You never belonged yah blow-in ...up doll......where are the bushes gone......I told yis Hillary would get elected.....
you would'n know yer arse from a.....where's tha' guinness Bolly?......yah can't find a good barman anymore....Where's Owenbigsh*te...
Hardy wha' the flute are ye at?....did I tell you I got my arse pierced?..........Rois gave me the idea.....wooops I wasn't supposed
to tell ye that...... I'm in trouble now.....Ziiggy get me outa here......leave me keys in the boat.....I'll call ye sunday....dopey f......

</drunktalk>
</muppet drops head onto bar>

[Treasurer]

And you were trying to get ME drunk 

[muppet]

And you were trying to get ME drunk 

<lifts head>

I told ye you was sensible

</drops head hard on bar>

[Doogie Browser]

Pass out the dominoes for a wee while,  20p a spot if anyone wants in.

[muppet]

Pass out the dominoes for a wee while,  20p a spot if anyone wants in.

<lifts forehead an inch>

great idea.....two mejium Pepperoni Passions.....'n some wedges......garlic sauce....cab....job....Tres come back....hic...

</lifts forehead an inch>

[Kerry Mike]

Evening men,throw on a Pint there Billy and while its filling give us a small drop of Powers for the cold.

Good man Jackeen you got a bad knock out with the dose, The weather is fierce outside tonight men, but you have a nice fire going there Billy, if you could only see it with that mangy hoor from Armagh warming his hole to it, t'would remind you of the black winter of '37, what that Patsy, thats right 37 I said, your poor mother remembers it well, the year she lost all the chickens.

Well Tommy, are you on about Dev is it, jaysus it too early in the night for Dev talk Tommy, whats that Billy , 4 Shillings and six pence, is it gone up again, thats Dev for you Tommy. Good health to all.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, a grand dropeen Billy

Another pint there Billy good man yourself, jaysus who's your man singing, from Tyrone you say Billy, feck it will anything good ever come out of that county.

[cville]

I'm a stranger here meself. However, I could be quite at home all the same. Jesus! is that a coal fire at the top end - with a couple of old boys sitting round it - bottles of stout and chewin the cud. Christ, I can hear the logs crackling. "Come on over for the and give us a while of yer crack" says one. So we're sittin there talkin GAA, old times, mild politics, a bit of wisdom and a quare yarn. I did smoke and gave them up, but now by God I'm having a drag - a Park Drive if you please - with the lads and a bottle of stout. All is calm as the darkess outside is warmed by the embers of the fire. Relaxation is total and I tell the two old boys that I am just off to the bogs to 'drain the spuds'. When I come out - didn't even wash my hands - a fresh pint is sitting by the fire as a fresh log blazes and then the older one turns to me and says that he'd love to 'ride the howl off me' ... ......................................... ??

[Kerry Mike]

There was snow in Ardee today.....

[stephenite]

So, would anyone have any views on the role of the United States in the Geo-politicial development of the entire Middle East region over the last 25 years?

[pintsofguinness]

So, would anyone have any views on the role of the United States in the Geo-politicial development of the entire Middle East region over the last 25 years?

Ya wha?
the wine bar is down the street.

[ONeill]

Anyone up for a recitation?

When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A pint of plain is your only man.

When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A pint of plain is your only man.

When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A pint of plain is your only man.

When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A pint of plain is your only man.

In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A pint of plain is your only man.

[maggie]

Is it too late for a half 'un before bed-time?

[Owenmoresider]

Evening men,throw on a Pint there Billy and while its filling give us a small drop of Powers for the cold.

Good man Jackeen you got a bad knock out with the dose, The weather is fierce outside tonight men, but you have a nice fire going there Billy, if you could only see it with that mangy hoor from Armagh warming his hole to it, t'would remind you of the black winter of '37, what that Patsy, thats right 37 I said, your poor mother remembers it well, the year she lost all the chickens.

Well Tommy, are you on about Dev is it, jaysus it too early in the night for Dev talk Tommy, whats that Billy , 4 Shillings and six pence, is it gone up again, thats Dev for you Tommy. Good health to all.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, a grand dropeen Billy

Another pint there Billy good man yourself, jaysus who's your man singing, from Tyrone you say Billy, feck it will anything good ever come out of that county.

*Looks at muppet stretched out on the bar. Smiles contemptously and returns to task in hand..*

Billy - where's those bacon fries? I asked for them ages ago. Lord knows I wouldn't have to even ask in the other spot, they know what their punters want I tell ya.

Mike - what are you sayin about Dev?  Ara sure youse are all Feen Gaelers out that way anyway, don't be talking about shillings when yer crowd cut it off the pension in the 20's, the neck of some people.

Ballina lad - I tell you what blessed Barack himself can do, send out those Cork hurling boys out there, that'll unite the Arabs and Israelis in no time. Second term will be in the bag for the holy one too.

Ah, will you look at the young fella in the snug, out for the count so he is. Reading a McStay interview does that to you I suppose. Would love a good western slagging match now, pity those sheep farmers had to go and set up their own bar up past the Barracks...pool table and all.