You laddeen, you're underage - get the f**k out, and stay out.
This thread is for the purpose solely of those folk who like a quiet pint, to discuss matters of life-and-death. It will remain the preserve of those who have sex often enough for it not to be a matter of life-and-death.
The thread will be equipped with a wooden bar (if you like marble, go somewhere else). The thread will only have small windows - on no account will they be south-facing. The thread will have wooden floors, without veneer. Lighting will be provided by a 40W bulb, located 50 yards away. For the thirsty among us, refreshments will consist of stout (kegged or bottled), whiskey (but no whisky) and tap-water. During Lent, there will be warm bottles of Calrsberg for those who have given up alcohol. Tea will be provided, only if absolutely necessary, in the case of medical emergencies.
If ye don't like it, make sure the door doesn't kick your arse on the way out.
Good man Billy, I'll have a bottle of stout, off the shelf mind.
can we have saw dust?
(http://www.finddisney.com/images/Stamps/Stamp%20Collecting.jpg)
Bottle of McArdle's, I'm sitting on the Maine Minerals crate by the fire. Will you light that fecking thing ye mean hoor??? Aye and can I have 20 Major, the Spanish ones ;)
Get more turf for the fire while you're at it I'm foundered. Smoking allowed??? Its only a pipe.
Packet of Tayto with my third pint please?
Pint a porter and a packet of Players for me.
Where is the condom machine?
Is this a forum within a forum? Like the Snug of Nancy Blakes in Limerick :D Anyway, pint of plain for me please.
Now, where was I? Oh yeah, young lads, for feck's sake.
Gimme a blue WKD and 4 jaegarbombs.
snakebite please.
I saw a woman turning her head around the door there, what is she at here, is Mass over?
turn that tv off and f**ck it out the door,hate that banging match when i am trying to have a conversation,now where was i ?
Can i get change for the Jukebox
No crisps, it disturbs the natural order of things. Smokers, blow it up the chimney.
Attendance officer will be along shortly gossuns, they may be able to help you understand how to use the condoms - yes, I know you know how to blow them up. Run along now, or I call yer mammies.
No McArdles - we're not anti-Smithwick.
was the old gaa pub closed down sure twas only a matter of time they had turned it into a polish bar and all those lads have gone back home now, anyway give us a pint of plain and a packet of smokey bacon any one got the racing post
Quote from: cavan4ever on February 10, 2009, 10:54:42 AM
Can i get change for the Jukebox
a way tae f**k,gone down too that sh*t hole on the corner if ye want to listen to that banging match,young wans ::)
Turn that wireless up in the corner, I want to hear this race
I'll not say it again - there's no feckin crisps. If ye want the like of that Deel Rover, go on up to the Dolphin. ;)
The only music here is that emanating from the arse of crossbar, over there at the fire.
Hard to beat having to go to the weemens toilet to do a shite cos there's no cubicle in the mens.
No bog roll eh? You lads finished with that Racing Post? :-\
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 11:04:12 AM
I'll not say it again - there's no feckin crisps. If ye want the like of that Deel Rover, go on up to the Dolphin. ;)
The only music here is that emanating from the arse of crossbar, over there at the fire.
I dont want music FFS, I want to hear this race
Jumped up f**king landlords >:(
take it easy billy i can live with out the smokey bacon , anyway the Dolphin is closed, horse on another pint and hang sadwich i'm fecking starving sure i haven't had a bite to eat since i entered these premises yesterday evening . Are the Guards gone yet ;)
McArdles from the shelf squire. i'll dust it meself.
ah jesus billy look at the cut of that glass,would you give me a clean glass
No women then - even half sensible ones who would drink a whiskey and water?
No McArdles??????? And then you add insult to injury making fun of my irritable bowel??? I can't help it if I have a dodgy hole :'( Have ye any Ale or am I going to have to have stout and really stink yiz out :P
BTW, I won't be lighting any farts with thon excuse for a fire, I have a dose of the cauld, a large Powers will warm me up.
No women, not even to clean the toilets!!!
if your a ms come on in
Ah go on Rois, I'm getting soft - go on up to the sitting room. There'll be no Babycham, or any of that oul shite though.
Anyhow lads, what do ye make of them feckin Langer upstarts, heh?
A small one and a pint there Billy. Not one of them could ones you'd need a pair of gloves to handle, now.
You don't mind the dog? He's a bit wet but I got him to give himself a good shake before we came in.
Let him try to dry himself beside me at the "fire" hardy! It might improve the smell over here!!
Fecking right you did hardy jesus the dog has me drowned ,were you at the hurling the weekend to watch the langers ?
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 11:33:01 AM
Fecking right you did hardy jesus the dog has me drowned ,were you at the hurling the weekend to watch the langers ?
More likely that Hardy was one of the 12,00(ahem) who turned out in solidarity with their hurling brothers in the march up Patrick Street to hear Brian Corcoran stick his oar where it wasn't needed!
hey bCB1 whos's the Lad with the Funny accent at the end of the bar wearing a Derry Shirt
No need to be insulting Hardy, there hasn't been a refrigerant in this premises since the day it was built. Milk for the tae is it missus?
Used to be grand in here till ye let the Crossmolina crowd in the door.
Ah would ya feck off stephenite just because ye won 12 or 13 championships in a row ye city clickers haven't got over the fact that we were the 1st shower to bring Andy into mayo, now cut out that shite and buy us a drink
Sit down Spot! I know, yeh, but I've smelt worse.
I was in me arse at the "march". If I hadda been in Cork for the weekend I probably would have gone to the hurlin alright, just to show a bit of support for lads that are willing to play.
Anyone see the weather?
See Billy, new money-no class. :D
Now give him a Cidona
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 11:38:04 AM
hey bCB1 whos's the Lad with the Funny accent at the end of the bar wearing a Derry Shirt
I'm not sure, is that the baldy one from Dungiven, Lynchie?
Never mind the Ballina man. They never got over their "shit the togs" performance in 1999, don't worry about their 13 in a row, we'll take it off them completely this year. Us Cross boys stick together ;D
You're a bit young Stephenite, so have a bit a manners and ye'll be let stay. Bring Hardy's mutt out the back will ye?
(whisper) Don't know who the lad in the Derry jersey is - might be one of the O'Neills.
A Cidona you must be joking i haven't see stephenite since he went to oz give us a double brandy and coke Billy anyway stephenite how will mayo do this year ?
Could you stick another whiskey in there, top her up with hot water though, it's a bit cold. I know it's early but I've had bad morning at work, plus the car's been written off. I'll just head upstairs and sit there on my own for a while. And thank God I'm from Tyrone and not Cork.
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 11:50:32 AM
You're a bit young Stephenite, so have a bit a manners and ye'll be let stay. Bring Hardy's mutt out the back will ye?
(whisper) Don't know who the lad in the Derry jersey is - might be one of the O'Neills.
good man Billy that will put the young cub in his place . you know these young lads these , i'll tell you one thing when the have harrowed as much as we have ploughed let them talk to us
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 11:50:32 AM
You're a bit young Stephenite, so have a bit a manners and ye'll be let stay. Bring Hardy's mutt out the back will ye?
Long time since I've heard that 'auld stock, the dog is grand where he is.
BC - there'll be manners put on ye yet, just hope the Lord spares us so I can watch ya squirm
Billy - load up the lad from out the road, that's one way to keep him off the pitch. He's ploughed less than he's saying.
poitin €7 a litre, viagra 3 for €5, see me in the snug if you need anything else.
Jasyus Christ, don't give that dog any of those horn pills - he was humping that shite out of BC's leg the last time you were in here
well if he hadnt trained the fecking thing to steal tobacco from a mans coat it would never have happened.
stephenite, shure you know I am only winding :P and shure my days of squirming went with my playing days. Here Billy stick a pint on for me, let me see what I have here to pay
"BC rumbles in his pocket for change and throws it on the bar"
How much is there, 20, 30, 40 feck what's that, what am I at taking my Andy Merrigan medals out for quiet drink :P
Quote from: An Fear Rua on February 10, 2009, 12:00:01 PM
viagra 3 for €5
You'd need a few MS in here to get the use of that ;)
Put the medals away there - got the headage through, that pints on me
Quote from: full back on February 10, 2009, 12:05:17 PM
Quote from: An Fear Rua on February 10, 2009, 12:00:01 PM
viagra 3 for €5
You'd need a few MS in here to get the use of that ;)
sure arent they all watching that loose weemin thing on the gogglebox after morning mass, the father would have to bless the lounge with some of the stuff they come out with. Jesus, Mary nearly had me broken the other day when she lept at me , spuds everywhere. What is a clioris? do Renault make those yokes?
Quote from: stephenite on February 10, 2009, 12:06:00 PM
Put the medals away there - got the headage through, that pints on me
Good man, buy one for the Mullaghbawn man as well when you're at it ;)
i'm after getting me grant through for the shed Stephenite expecting one next week for an auld sptic tank i built as well . I don't know what i'll do with the shed might turn it into a gym or something sure what else would i use it for . Any way throw on a round for the Bar billy. Araahh Ros hows it going pull up a seat stepenite was just talking about ya
Any bar with no kids, no crisps, no music, no TV,
a bar that allows only sensible wimmin like Rois and her whiskey,
a bar that serves poitín and viagra in the snug,
but mostly a bar in which a Ballina man is called a city slicker,
is a bar where I wanna be.
Billy...er nice coat hooks......pint please.
Hardy that better not be you rubbing my leg..........
I tell ya did you see the cut of young Murphy last night - Feckin Shockin and training only after starting last week - Will they ever learn you can't mix the drink and football - young fellas I tell ya think they know it all - I tell ya if I was training them I'd have them puking in ditches till they never wanted to touch a drop again
Your fecking right dec run the shite out ot them till they are all puking now thats real training, none of those fecking Drills or ballwork or Gymwork . Didn't have Gyms in our day used to foot turf in the bog all day cycle 30 fecking miles back to Belmullet to play the match cylce back to cross after stopping in Bangor for few and home again but sure if you told the young lads that they would laugh in your face.
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 12:15:03 PM
Hardy that better not be you rubbing my leg..........
Sit down Spot! Don't mind him Muppet.
has that shagging mongrel been in my coat again!!??
What's this drills thing now, is it some new-fangled training lark?
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 11:38:04 AM
hey bCB1 whos's the Lad with the Funny accent at the end of the bar wearing a Derry Shirt
feck , is this where I ended up last night
cant rem a thing,
did I get kicked out for singing rebel songs again?
pint of guinness please chief, heads lifting off me , its ok I'll behave and wont sing.
Wheres that fecking smell coming from ?
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 12:23:39 PM
What's this drills thing now, is it some new-fangled training lark?
Nono, they use them for putting holes in walls
young Murphy gets his attitude from his dad Frank, now his mother is a lovely women.....
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 12:22:23 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 12:15:03 PM
Hardy that better not be you rubbing my leg..........
Sit down Spot! Don't mind him Muppet.
meant to ask you hardy why do you call your dog spot when he is all black
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 12:22:23 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 12:15:03 PM
Hardy that better not be you rubbing my leg..........
Sit down Spot! Don't mind him Muppet.
So Hardy how's the Articifial Insemination business treating you?.......eh sorry I can't shake hands at the moment... ???
sorry billy just emtied the tank there in the ladies bog,you'll need a bottle of bleach :P
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 12:25:39 PM
meant to ask you hardy why do you call your dog spot when he is all black
Well, to be honest, his real name is Rover. When I saw yourself here I thought you might take it the wrong way, so I let on his name was Spot. That's why he's not taking a blind bit of notice of me tellin him to sit down.
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 12:30:01 PM
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 12:25:39 PM
meant to ask you hardy why do you call your dog spot when he is all black
Well, to be honest, his real name is Rover. When I saw yourself here I thought you might take it the wrong way, so I let on his name was Spot. That's why he's not taking a blind bit of notice of me tellin him to sit down.
Yesterday you kicked him and called him Whelan!
You're sadly mistaken if you think there's a women's toilet here - Rois uses the family toilet upstairs. Keep out of them corners man. Run in for a mop there, Stephenite, there's a good lad.
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 12:27:21 PM
So Hardy how's the Articifial Insemination business treating you?.......eh sorry I can't shake hands at the moment... ???
Ah it's grand. I do be a bit tired in the evenings though.
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 12:37:46 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 12:27:21 PM
So Hardy how's the Articifial Insemination business treating you?.......eh sorry I can't shake hands at the moment... ???
Ah it's grand. I do be a bit tired in the evenings though.
Shurely, you could get big John Mc down from the homeland to give you a pull out when it's getting hard? I'm sure he'd love to de-langerise the langer cattle?
I never got the hang of those imageshack yokes but this bar should these lads on the wall
1971 P.J.Smyth (Galway)
Johnny Carey (Mayo)
Jack Cosgrove (Galway)
Donie O'Sullivan (Kerry)
Eugene Mulligan (Offaly)
Nicholas Clavin (Offaly)
Pat Reynolds (Meath)
Liam Sammon (Galway) Willie Bryan (Offaly)
Tony McTague (Offaly)
Ray Cummins (Cork)
Mickey Kearns (Sligo)
Andy McCallin(Antrim)
Sean O'Neill (Down)
Seamus Leydon (Galway)
1972 Martin Furlong (Offaly)
Mick Ryan (Offaly)
Paddy McCormack (Offaly)
Donie O'Sullivan (Kerry)
Brian McEniff (Donegal)
Tommy Joe Gilmore (Galway)
Kevin Jer O'Sullivan (Cork)
Willie Bryan (Offaly) Mick O'Connoll (Kerry)
Johnny Cooney (Offaly)
Kevin Kilmurray (Offaly)
Tony McTague (Offaly)
Mickey Freyne (Roscommon)
Sean O'Neill (Down)
Paddy Moriarty (Armagh)
1973 Billy Morgan (Cork)
Frank Cogan (Cork)
Mick Ryan (Offaly)
Brian Murphy (Cork)
Liam O'Neill (Galway)
Tommy Joe Gilmore (Galway)
Kevin Jer O'Sullivan (Cork)
John O'Keeffe (Kerry) Dinny Long (Cork)
Johnny Cooney (Offaly)
Kevin Kilmurray (Offaly)
Liam Sammon (Galway)
Jimmy Barry Murphy (Cork)
Ray Cummins (Cork)
Anthony McGurk (Derry)
1974 Paddy Cullen (Dublin)
Donal Monaghan (Donegal)
Sean Doherty (Dublin)
Robbie Kelleher (Dublin)
Paddy Reilly (Dublin)
Barnes Murphy (Sligo)
Johnny Hughes (Galway)
Dermot Earley (Roscommon) Paudie Lynch (Kerry)
Tom Naughton (Galway)
Declan Barron (Cork)
David Hickey (Dublin)
Jimmy Barry Murphy (Cork)
Jimmy Keaveney (Dublin)
Johnny Tobin (Galway)
1975 Paud O'Mahony (Kerry)
Gay O'Driscoll (Dublin)
John O'Keeffe (Kerry)
Robbie Kelleher (Dublin)
Peter Stevenson (Derry)
Anthony McGurk (Derry)
Ger Power (Kerry)
Dinny Long (Cork) Colm McAlarney (Down)
Gerry McElhinney (Derry)
Ken Rennicks (Meath)
Mickey O'Sullivan (Kerry)
John Egan (Kerry)
Matt Kerrigan (Meath)
Anton O'Toole(Dublin)
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 12:40:51 PM
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 12:37:46 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 12:27:21 PM
So Hardy how's the Articifial Insemination business treating you?.......eh sorry I can't shake hands at the moment... ???
Ah it's grand. I do be a bit tired in the evenings though.
Shurely, you could get big John Mc down from the homeland to give you a pull out when it's getting hard? I'm sure he'd love to de-langerise the langer cattle?
I'd be afraid I'd get done for cruelty to animals.
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 12:32:31 PM
You're sadly mistaken if you think there's a women's toilet here - Rois uses the family toilet upstairs. Keep out of them corners man. Run in for a mop there, Stephenite, there's a good lad.
He's had run ins with worse that fella.
Deel Rover so are ye all wearing pony tails for a reason or is the electricity gone again behind in Cross?
Don't start about the electricity. Fecking thing went last night >:(. The whole area. Just cause they've been told to take pay cuts doesn't mean they can turn it off to save money. Did you lose it in East Langerland at all hardy?
No we were grand here. It was off during the storm a couple of Saturdays ago alright. I had to go out to the car to get the racing results.
Billy I heard a terrible rumour,
According to a man from Bohola the pub has been sold to a consortium of super pubs and will be renovated with lights and TVs and music and other even worse stuff.
Apparently there will be staff that will say 'can I help you' and 'thank you' and other such non-indigeneous sh*te.
Please tell me it isn't true.
QuoteDeel Rover so are ye all wearing pony tails for a reason or is the electricity gone again behind in Cross?
No pony tails allowed, under any circumstances, except behind the bar, on occasion. :P
Consortium? - is that like with the racehorses?
Never worry muppet, when they come into look at the place they realise that because of the build up of stuff in the pipes under the ladies toilet that it will cost them too much to make it worth their while! It is not me ye can smell ye feckers >:(
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 01:06:38 PM
Never worry muppet, when they come into look at the place they realise that because of the build up of stuff in the pipes under the ladies toilet that it will cost them too much to make it worth their while! It is not me ye can smell ye feckers >:(
Yea, I told them there is a bottomless pit in the basement.
(I didn't tell them it was Fearon!)
I see you didn't pick a player from each county yet bc - get a move on there, good man.
I was looking at the Longford 'picks' - there seems to have been a light-hearted approach to Longford, with (what looks like) a majority going for Gravity's Greatest Friend. No mention of Rocky Tierney yet either.
billy can i sell a couple of club lotto's?
I'm going to collate the responses in a few days, but I think some of the lads are copying and pasting mine. It's interesting though.
Billy can you ban mobile phones? Stupid ring tones do my head in.
Who got pasted ? I bet ya the Knockmore lads were involved :o
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 12:30:01 PM
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 12:25:39 PM
meant to ask you hardy why do you call your dog spot when he is all black
Well, to be honest, his real name is Rover. When I saw yourself here I thought you might take it the wrong way, so I let on his name was Spot. That's why he's not taking a blind bit of notice of me tellin him to sit down.
Ah thats fair enough it would look silly me lying down and rolling over thanks for that
QuoteI'm going to collate the responses in a few days, but I think some of the lads are copying and pasting mine. It's interesting though.
I's say it's because you're a genius Az. Run out there and fill the turf creel, good man.
Jaysus Billy will we ever get dem pipes cleaned this pint is wodious
How's it goin here lads...just passing through the village was wondering could I use your bogs?
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 01:25:39 PM
I see you didn't pick a player from each county yet bc - get a move on there, good man.
I was looking at the Longford 'picks' - there seems to have been a light-hearted approach to Longford, with (what looks like) a majority going for Gravity's Greatest Friend. No mention of Rocky Tierney yet either.
I had him in first, but changed hi to the player with the coolest name, well coolest first name anyway ;)
Quote from: Declan on February 10, 2009, 01:49:14 PM
Jaysus Billy will we ever get dem pipes cleaned this pint is wodious
They're all fermentation products in your glass Declan - do you want another one or not?
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 01:54:51 PM
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 01:25:39 PM
I see you didn't pick a player from each county yet bc - get a move on there, good man.
I was looking at the Longford 'picks' - there seems to have been a light-hearted approach to Longford, with (what looks like) a majority going for Gravity's Greatest Friend. No mention of Rocky Tierney yet either.
I had him in first, but changed hi to the player with the coolest name, well coolest first name anyway ;)
Just did mine there and honestly wasn't copying. Only one contender for Longford for me as well! Hope ya don't throw me out the slops for the BB's. Just changed back from wearing the pampers after the last time.
Quotedo you want another one or not?
are sure go on - Might as well stay for another one as the mammy is out this evening and there's no spuds on
Any more disrespect for Longford and you'll be needing more effective measures than pampers.
WTF :o
Here - get out of my office ye shower of c
Quote from: Shamrock Shore on February 10, 2009, 02:14:31 PM
WTF :o
Here - get out of my office ye shower of c
Hey Barney!!
(http://www.xtreme-simpsons.de/pics/grabpics/big/barney01.gif)
Any room for a blow-in from the other side of the big pond?
I'll have one of those black and tans please
Quote from: Gabriel_Hurl on February 10, 2009, 02:22:02 PM
Any room for a blow-in from the other side of the big pond?
I'll have one of those black and tans please
Make yourself at home its a pity you mentioned the black and tans you will have hardy singing rebel songs all night long. Lie down spot or rover or whatever your name is . Where's Hardy ?
Just took delivery of a box of Tayto crisps (nice surprise after a horrible morning). I know there's no crisps, but does that apply to a box of free ones direct from Tayto Castle? Pickled onion prob don't go so well with stout but sure I'll leave them on top of the bar and you can help yourselves. Still don't want to to talk to anyone so I'll be staying upstairs.
Do I qualify under the "sensible women" category?
Excuse me for dropping ion, lads, but just to let you know the peelers are at the top of the street and I think they're keeping an eye for drink-drivers.
Anyway, I'll have a pint of the one we call our own.
Share out the crisps outside there girls - it's holy hour anyway, and I have to see a man about something.
It's a good likeness (to Shamrock Shore) Muppet.
Quote from: D4S on February 10, 2009, 01:53:59 PM
How's it goin here lads...just passing through the village was wondering could I use your bogs?
no pissers allowed, ya may buy a pint of black & white stout!!!!
Quote from: kumquat on February 10, 2009, 03:16:11 PM
Quote from: D4S on February 10, 2009, 01:53:59 PM
How's it goin here lads...just passing through the village was wondering could I use your bogs?
no pissers allowed, ya may buy a pint of black & white stout!!!!
Ah rite....Jesus that's mighty stout I might stay for another, the wife will be alright out in the car I left the windows up!
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 02:43:10 PM
Do I qualify under the "sensible women" category?
We'll find out, Billy a bottle of Paddy and 2 empty glasses please?!
been here all day,better head home,hi billy stick your head out the door there and see if the chipper is open and put a half bottle and 6 tins in a blue bag like a good man.
How many times do I have to kick the door after hours to get in??? Nothing like a late pint...
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 10, 2009, 02:26:50 PM
Quote from: Gabriel_Hurl on February 10, 2009, 02:22:02 PM
Any room for a blow-in from the other side of the big pond?
I'll have one of those black and tans please
Make yourself at home its a pity you mentioned the black and tans you will have hardy singing rebel songs all night long. Lie down spot or rover or whatever your name is . Where's Hardy ?
It's 'Whelan' he jut doesn't want to say it with Declan here.
QuoteIt's 'Whelan' he jut doesn't want to say it with Declan here.
Right that's enough I'm away home to the mammy. Up the Dubs :D
Might see ye tomorrow night if I'm allowed out
Quote from: Tonto on February 10, 2009, 02:48:14 PM
Excuse me for dropping ion, lads, but just to let you know the peelers are at the top of the street and I think they're keeping an eye for drink-drivers.
Anyway, I'll have a pint of the one we call our own.
We're grand, 'tis only Pillar. He always comes only half way up the street and then goes home.
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 04:17:00 PM
Quote from: Tonto on February 10, 2009, 02:48:14 PM
Excuse me for dropping ion, lads, but just to let you know the peelers are at the top of the street and I think they're keeping an eye for drink-drivers.
Anyway, I'll have a pint of the one we call our own.
We're grand, 'tis only Pillar. He always comes only half way up the street and then goes home.
He'll make sure he's seen somewhere in the background though. He's better though than Garda O'Mahony, he'll come in and "lie down the law"
right i'm away this time,now where did i leave the feckin bike ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jkow1WlDx7E
Quotebeen here all day,better head home,hi billy stick your head out the door there and see if the chipper is open and put a half bottle and 6 tins in a blue bag like a good man.
What do you think this is, a service industry? It's toilets duty for you, bucko.
QuoteHow many times do I have to kick the door after hours to get in??? Nothing like a late pint...
You need to say the password, it's "c'mon the Larries". Speak up there Croí, they can't hear you in Drumlish.
QuoteDo I qualify under the "sensible women" category?
Sorry Treas, never heard of one of them before. Hoover the sitting room there with Ros before ye go home.
QuoteAnyway, I'll have a pint of the one we call our own.
Ye will when ye grow up.
Right now, I'm locking the doors for the night, if ye want to go home, gather yis'r belongings.
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 03:28:31 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 02:43:10 PM
Do I qualify under the "sensible women" category?
We'll find out, Billy a bottle of Paddy and 2 empty glasses please?!
Are you trying to get me drunk?!! :o
Lock in?
(http://right%20now,%20i'm%20locking%20the%20doors%20for%20the%20night,%20if%20ye%20want%20to%20go%20home,%20gather%20yis'r%20belongings.)
Hic...er.......my belongings are upstairs hovererererin' de sittin' room......
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 04:24:48 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 03:28:31 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 02:43:10 PM
Do I qualify under the "sensible women" category?
We'll find out, Billy a bottle of Paddy and 2 empty glasses please?!
Are you trying to get me drunk?!! :o
No I want you to keep one glass full while I drink the other, here's the bottle.
jesus thats some dog hardy has look at him hailing him a taxi is that a purse around the dogs neck he probably pay the fare as well ,sure hardy can't put two words together never seen him as drunk in fairness he talks more sense when hes drunk
knock knock
There's no one here, go home.
but some bastard stole me bicycle clips
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 04:27:28 PM
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 04:25:08 PM
Lock in?
Lock you out more like with your "no women" notions!
Listen woman, know your place is what I say. The landlord gave you and Rois a small bit of grace by allowing ye into the place, don't go jumping yer station now. Would you feel comfortable here every second Saturday when the smell of cow shite from men's boots is worse than the smell of the toilets(and that is some smell), auld lads discussing the price of calves and the like, while waiting for the 3.30 at Fairy House to run. Bailer twine and dealer boots the staple requirement for this place. Tis a man's pub and let that be known. If you want something there is a nice wee place down the street, I think it is called Maggie's Golden Cup, there are many Mrs Doyle lookalikes in it and the requirement is that you have a nice cardigan, furry suede boots and a hirsute upper lip. Do you qualify?
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 04:39:39 PM
auld lads discussing the price of calves and the like
Oh I could join in that one alright - sure I've the farming news on every morning on the wireless and can tell you the best price for charolais at Dunamanagh mart on a Saturday.
Quote from: Rois on February 10, 2009, 04:42:26 PM
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 04:39:39 PM
auld lads discussing the price of calves and the like
Oh I could join in that one alright - sure I've the farming news on every morning on the wireless and can tell you the best price for charolais at Dunamanagh mart on a Saturday.
I suppose you've a bit of black conduit cut as well sitting at the back door?
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 04:39:39 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 04:27:28 PM
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 10, 2009, 04:25:08 PM
Lock in?
Lock you out more like with your "no women" notions!
Listen woman, know your place is what I say. The landlord gave you and Rois a small bit of grace by allowing ye into the place, don't go jumping yer station now. Would you feel comfortable here every second Saturday when the smell of cow shite from men's boots is worse than the smell of the toilets(and that is some smell), auld lads discussing the price of calves and the like, while waiting for the 3.30 at Fairy House to run. Bailer twine and dealer boots the staple requirement for this place. Tis a man's pub and let that be known. If you want something there is a nice wee place down the street, I think it is called Maggie's Golden Cup, there are many Mrs Doyle lookalikes in it and the requirement is that you have a nice cardigan, furry suede boots and a hirsute upper lip. Do you qualify?
Listen here you mysogonistic chauvinist, the Landlord won't stand for you talking to me like that so watch your step!
And there's nothign wrong with my cardigan!!!
Now, will Binocular make it up the hill or not?
QuoteListen here you mysogonistic chauvinist, the Landlord won't stand for you talking to me like that so watch your step!
Now, now BC, be nice, if that's possible.
QuoteOh I could join in that one alright - sure I've the farming news on every morning on the wireless and can tell you the best price for charolais at Dunamanagh mart on a Saturday.
Don't encourage him.
Quotebut some b**tard stole me bicycle clips
You decided they'd be best employed as ear-rings a few hours ago.
can we lose the quotes please, this place is supposed to be a relevant sanctuary to the mess ........ya doorty fcukers
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 10, 2009, 04:21:34 PM
QuoteHow many times do I have to kick the door after hours to get in??? Nothing like a late pint...
You need to say the password, it's "c'mon the Larries". Speak up there Croí, they can't hear you in Drumlish.
See u later so Billy ;)
(http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o312/CroinahEireann/slashers.jpg)
if the wife phones here, yez havent seen me,
another round there barkeep please
wats the age limit?
I dont know who has the biggest imagination the posters from the mucksavage thread or you people.
Lynchbhoy that's my seat, get out of it.
Pint of stout billy when you're ready, make sure it's my glass.
[/quote]
Now, will Binocular make it up the hill or not?
[/quote]
He will get up it alright but there will be one in front. Do they take bets behind the bar ?
Hardstation must be underage.
Have yiz any peppermint cordial - Ive rotten heartburn from being down in the other place last night.
Any Bulmers going BB? Wouldn't mind a pint too much, but they're better in that spot at the bottom of the street. Pity I'm barred there though.
Quote from: Owenmoresider on February 10, 2009, 08:18:27 PM
Any Bulmers going BB? Wouldn't mind a pint too much, but they're better in that spot at the bottom of the street. Pity I'm barred there though.
That's in Sligo, you're welcome here in a Mayo bar. ;D
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 08:24:05 PM
That's in Sligo, you're welcome here in a Mayo bar. ;D
Cheers. I got in a bit of a row one night there with this fella, he just kept going on about this Parsons lad the whole time. Presumably he's not welcome? :D
Quote from: Owenmoresider on February 10, 2009, 08:32:36 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 08:24:05 PM
That's in Sligo, you're welcome here in a Mayo bar. ;D
Cheers. I got in a bit of a row one night there with this fella, he just kept going on about this Parsons lad the whole time. Presumably he's not welcome? :D
Nah, he'd be underage
Ah forget about that lad oms your safe for a few months . Through out a pack of cards there billy and we will have a game of 25 partners mind . And a pint of cider jesus ya fairly horsed the salt on them nugget s
Quote from: RedandGreenSniper on February 10, 2009, 08:34:04 PM
Quote from: Owenmoresider on February 10, 2009, 08:32:36 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 08:24:05 PM
That's in Sligo, you're welcome here in a Mayo bar. ;D
Cheers. I got in a bit of a row one night there with this fella, he just kept going on about this Parsons lad the whole time. Presumably he's not welcome? :D
Nah, he'd be underage
Not even if we put him in the Snug, gave him a packet of Tayto and a copy of 'House of Pain' to keep him company?
Derry lads - don't mention Bellaghy though, might get nasty then. And that's not even amongst yerselves. ;)
Would you ever put the Kettle on and make a Pot of Tay, whilst i call the Mods to find out if you are properly licenced to sell Spirits. Everything being equal and all in order, i might be looking to book the back room for the Club meetings, on the strict understanding that no alcoholic beverages be served during the course of the meeting, and Tea and Sandwiches be made available. In return for this honour ,you might like sponsor a set of jersies for the young fellas
The band here. Playing Barabara Streisand tonight. Where'll I set up?
Get out! Get out or I'll set the dog on ya. You and yer Barbara Shitesound.
Quote from: ONeill on February 10, 2009, 09:11:55 PM
The band here. Playing Barabara Streisand tonight. Where'll I set up?
Band!! Band!!! Gowayouhathatyafeckers!!
The only music we need in here is sweet symphony of the hum of conversation, the crackle of the turf and log fire, and the sssshhhhh of a pint being poured.
And the odd fart of course.
Quote from: Owenmoresider on February 10, 2009, 08:38:33 PM
Quote from: RedandGreenSniper on February 10, 2009, 08:34:04 PM
Quote from: Owenmoresider on February 10, 2009, 08:32:36 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 10, 2009, 08:24:05 PM
That's in Sligo, you're welcome here in a Mayo bar. ;D
Cheers. I got in a bit of a row one night there with this fella, he just kept going on about this Parsons lad the whole time. Presumably he's not welcome? :D
Nah, he'd be underage
Not even if we put him in the Snug, gave him a packet of Tayto and a copy of 'House of Pain' to keep him company?
Derry lads - don't mention Bellaghy though, might get nasty then. And that's not even amongst yerselves. ;)
Fair enough but keep an eye on him. And under no circumstances give him a bottle of coke. It winds him up something unreal. And House of Pain is an 18 rated horror book as well, wouldn't be right for the lad
There's a boy at the door in a green parker looking in, he says he's here to meet some lad from Dungiven, has an arm full of An Phoblacht he wants to sell. I know you're not keen on crisps, but have you any scampi fries?
A pint of black when you have a chance as well bar keep.
Quote from: Hardy on February 10, 2009, 09:22:11 PM
Get out! Get out or I'll set the dog on ya. You and yer Barbara Shitesound.
Listen I'm paid up already. A Mr Evil Genius phoned up this morning and booked me from 9pm-12pm, asking for the following set:
We're Not Makin' Love Anymore
Woman In Love
All I Ask Of You (From "The Phantom of The Opera")
Comin' In And Out Of Your Life
What Kind Of Fool
The Main Event/Fight
Someone That I Used To Love
By The Way
Guilty (Duet with Barry Gibb)
Memory
with an encore of:
We're Not Brazil We're NI
Away in a Manger
Auld Orange Flute
Green Grassy Slopes Of The Boyne
Lily O
Dolly's Brae
Protestant Boys
Sash
I'd like to hear Johnny B Goode
Any other requests before we start?
Cheeky baxtard Lynchbhoy. No I wonder play 'From a Distance', 20 miles away.
<muppet lifts head off bar for 1st time in an hour>
<drunktalk>
Bolly Blue gimma anoher guinness and a bottle of crips......
Whah r youuuuuuuuu lookin' at O'Neill?.......Where's that Parshons lover Owenbigsh*te?...
You never belonged yah blow-in ...up doll......where are the bushes gone......I told yis Hillary would get elected.....
you would'n know yer arse from a.....where's tha' guinness Bolly?......yah can't find a good barman anymore....Where's Owenbigsh*te...
Hardy wha' the flute are ye at?....did I tell you I got my arse pierced?..........Rois gave me the idea.....wooops I wasn't supposed
to tell ye that...... I'm in trouble now.....Ziiggy get me outa here......leave me keys in the boat.....I'll call ye sunday....dopey f......
</drunktalk>
</muppet drops head onto bar>
And you were trying to get ME drunk ::)
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 10:42:48 PM
And you were trying to get ME drunk ::)
<lifts head>
I told ye you was sensible
</drops head hard on bar>
Pass out the dominoes for a wee while, 20p a spot if anyone wants in.
Quote from: Doogie Browser on February 10, 2009, 10:50:58 PM
Pass out the dominoes for a wee while, 20p a spot if anyone wants in.
<lifts forehead an inch>
great idea.....two mejium Pepperoni Passions.....'n some wedges......garlic sauce....cab....job....Tres come back....hic...
</lifts forehead an inch>
Evening men,throw on a Pint there Billy and while its filling give us a small drop of Powers for the cold.
Good man Jackeen you got a bad knock out with the dose, The weather is fierce outside tonight men, but you have a nice fire going there Billy, if you could only see it with that mangy hoor from Armagh warming his hole to it, t'would remind you of the black winter of '37, what that Patsy, thats right 37 I said, your poor mother remembers it well, the year she lost all the chickens.
Well Tommy, are you on about Dev is it, jaysus it too early in the night for Dev talk Tommy, whats that Billy , 4 Shillings and six pence, is it gone up again, thats Dev for you Tommy. Good health to all.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, a grand dropeen Billy
Another pint there Billy good man yourself, jaysus who's your man singing, from Tyrone you say Billy, feck it will anything good ever come out of that county.
I'm a stranger here meself. However, I could be quite at home all the same. Jesus! is that a coal fire at the top end - with a couple of old boys sitting round it - bottles of stout and chewin the cud. Christ, I can hear the logs crackling. "Come on over for the and give us a while of yer crack" says one. So we're sittin there talkin GAA, old times, mild politics, a bit of wisdom and a quare yarn. I did smoke and gave them up, but now by God I'm having a drag - a Park Drive if you please - with the lads and a bottle of stout. All is calm as the darkess outside is warmed by the embers of the fire. Relaxation is total and I tell the two old boys that I am just off to the bogs to 'drain the spuds'. When I come out - didn't even wash my hands - a fresh pint is sitting by the fire as a fresh log blazes and then the older one turns to me and says that he'd love to 'ride the howl off me' ... ......................................... ?????
There was snow in Ardee today.....
So, would anyone have any views on the role of the United States in the Geo-politicial development of the entire Middle East region over the last 25 years?
Quote from: stephenite on February 10, 2009, 11:17:00 PM
So, would anyone have any views on the role of the United States in the Geo-politicial development of the entire Middle East region over the last 25 years?
Ya wha?
the wine bar is down the street.
Anyone up for a recitation?
When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A pint of plain is your only man.
When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A pint of plain is your only man.
When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A pint of plain is your only man.
When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A pint of plain is your only man.
In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A pint of plain is your only man.
Is it too late for a half 'un before bed-time?
Quote from: Kerry Mike on February 10, 2009, 11:02:56 PM
Evening men,throw on a Pint there Billy and while its filling give us a small drop of Powers for the cold.
Good man Jackeen you got a bad knock out with the dose, The weather is fierce outside tonight men, but you have a nice fire going there Billy, if you could only see it with that mangy hoor from Armagh warming his hole to it, t'would remind you of the black winter of '37, what that Patsy, thats right 37 I said, your poor mother remembers it well, the year she lost all the chickens.
Well Tommy, are you on about Dev is it, jaysus it too early in the night for Dev talk Tommy, whats that Billy , 4 Shillings and six pence, is it gone up again, thats Dev for you Tommy. Good health to all.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, a grand dropeen Billy
Another pint there Billy good man yourself, jaysus who's your man singing, from Tyrone you say Billy, feck it will anything good ever come out of that county.
*Looks at muppet stretched out on the bar. Smiles contemptously and returns to task in hand..*
Billy - where's those bacon fries? I asked for them ages ago. Lord knows I wouldn't have to even ask in the other spot, they know what their punters want I tell ya.
Mike - what are you sayin about Dev? Ara sure youse are all Feen Gaelers out that way anyway, don't be talking about shillings when yer crowd cut it off the pension in the 20's, the neck of some people.
Ballina lad - I tell you what blessed Barack himself can do, send out those Cork hurling boys out there, that'll unite the Arabs and Israelis in no time. Second term will be in the bag for the holy one too.
Ah, will you look at the young fella in the snug, out for the count so he is. Reading a McStay interview does that to you I suppose. Would love a good western slagging match now, pity those sheep farmers had to go and set up their own bar up past the Barracks...pool table and all.
Hoi, HOI, HOI! Which one of yez puked in next door's doorway?
Quote from: ONeill on February 10, 2009, 11:20:46 PM
Anyone up for a recitation?
When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night -
A pint of plain is your only man.
When money's tight and hard to get
And your horse has also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt -
A pint of plain is your only man.
When health is bad and your heart feels strange,
And your face is pale and wan,
When doctors say you need a change,
A pint of plain is your only man.
When food is scarce and your larder bare
And no rashers grease your pan,
When hunger grows as your meals are rare -
A pint of plain is your only man.
In time of trouble and lousey strife,
You have still got a darlint plan
You still can turn to a brighter life -
A pint of plain is your only man.
I'm thinking evil Myles na G is your only man for this.
Quote from: Treasurer on February 10, 2009, 10:42:48 PM
And you were trying to get ME drunk ::)
What are you doing here? Have you no ironing to do?
In my day you wouldn't see women in pubs?
This pub doesn't have a next door.
(http://www.vacationkillarney.com/Hotels%20in%20Killarney%20-%20Hotels%20Killarney%20Ireland%20-%20Kerry_Hotels_files/osheas_pub.jpg)
Can the Pioneers have their Christmas party here next year?
You'll have to ask Rois and Treas if they'll share the sitting room.
Will the soccer be on the telly in the bar tonight Barkeep?
There is a telly, isn't there?
I may swing by after I collect the eldest from Scouts.
No telly.
No telly.
No children, except when the chimney needs sweeping (I could do a deal on glass-washing too, if you're interested).
Television are you mad! If you are lucky they might put the wireless on for you boys o' dear.
COME ON QUICK!!!
Mc GRATHS BULL IS OUT AND HAS THE LIPSTICK POINTED AT THE WIDOW PAISLEY!
EVERY MAN OUT!
We need to get that Oneill marching band outta hear, I cant pontificate about football with all that noise
Brokencrossbar , move that chair you took off a poor defenceless cripple over beside where he's 'playing' and I'm sure a few of those
gargantuan farts will get rid of him - they's got rid of half the bar so far. Luckily I have my SF issue gas mask.
Denn, you can have the sitting room surely. There can't be too many of you anyway. Not the best spot for pioneers though, no car parking so you'll have to taxi it down the one-car-wide lane.
Anyone see that thing about The Riordans last night - great stuff. The day they stopped The Riordans was the day the rot started.
Shut that f**king door behind ye, ye haverill; there's enough draft for the fire coming down the chimney. Jaysus.
No Billy. Surely The Riordans lost credibility when Benjy downed tools and went off to "The Missions".
Another pint please and close dem blinds. I hate to see outside light when I'm on the tare.
Jaysus wasn't Maggie a fine young wan altogether though
The windows exist solely for chronometric purposes. I refer you to post #2.
Declan, it is permissible to pass pictures of Maggie along the bar, especially for the younger members to reflect on fine Irish womanhood. This shouldn't be taken as carte-blanche for this type of activity, and there will be no pictures of foreign women of the opposite sex being purveyed on this premises.
The hurl will be taken out, if needed. Ye've had yer warning.
Good man Billy, I'll have a pint of stout and a wee Powers while she's settling.
Any chance of you firing a batch of soda on that skillet over the fire? I'm feckin' starvin
(he said in reference to no shebeen in particular...)
Billy
Have you heard of 4F Pub Grub? I 'd love an aul bowl of Oxtail soup.
And why did you get rid of Double Diamond - the best beer in the bar.
(http://www.retrowow.co.uk/retro_britain/keg_bitter/Double_Diamond_Works_Wonders.gif)
Quoteit is permissible to pass pictures of Maggie along the bar
Doesnt' she look gorgeous - At least she could wear her white dress with pride unlike the young slappers of today
(http://tvsales.rte.ie/autumn/images/stills/factual_riordans.jpg)
Quote from: Declan on February 11, 2009, 11:44:51 AM
Quoteit is permissible to pass Maggie along the bar
Doesnt' she look gorgeous
If you want that sort of carry on go into the city.
*Muppet wakes up*
Mornin' alll. Grand day.
Pint Billy please.
Can I use your bathroom please? I brought me own toothbrush so I won't use yours this time I swear.
Go on then Gonzo, I think Granny has finished up by now.
Afternoon all, fine fresh day out. I would have been in earlier but the bitch is in heat and some humpy hoor's dog from the next loanan was sniffing around like a mucksavage around the Tyrone team!!!
Still no McArdle's? Pint of stout then Billy, and hopefully it won't give me the skutters the way it did last night :o Poor Mrs BC had to sleep on the couch again.
Ill take a dram of the black bush n some water please. heres the money and have one for yourself. will you be getting in a dart board?
What don't ye understand about it - I have Jameson and Stout, wake up.
Run out there for some turf youngfella, and less of the dart-board now - no noisy games to interfere with gentlemanly contemplation.
Jaysus Billy. Horse me on a pint there, I'm dying for a pint of plain.
Jeysus I nearly thought of sometthing ta say there....but I didn't....
Carry on.....
Thon auld trendy bar down the way said they'll get me in bottles of McArdles, and they said they might even be in date(unlike some places). Tis the competition that dictates where I bring my service. Now if you had a few hang salad sandwiches I could be persuaded, mind you they better be proper hang salad sandwiches, non of them auld droopy ones!
Hows it going lads , Billy throw on a pint there good man any of ye lads want one . Did ye hear from Hardy hope he made it home last night.
5 minutes later
Ah the pint is setlled now Billy horse her out here good man , Jesus tis great to see the stretch in the evening
Still got the pony tail Deel?
When will ya ever move into the 1980s like the rest of us?
You'll be missed BC, by someone, somewhere, I'm sure, maybe.
Any sign of them feckin langers to be shot yet? Sodomy's too good for them.
Arahhhh i'm getting sick of it muppett would billy have a set of shears and i'll get rois to cut if off .
Quote from: the Deel Rover on February 11, 2009, 02:20:52 PM
Arahhhh i'm getting sick of it muppett would billy have a set of shears and i'll get rois to cut if off .
Eh....the hair right......
Billy call Father Mulligan, fasht........
I'll step up and do the needful - sure if there's no shears I'd manage with the wooden handled electric carving knife.
One short sharp blow of a hatchet would work either.....
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 11, 2009, 02:19:06 PM
You'll be missed BC, by someone, somewhere, I'm sure, maybe.
Any sign of them feckin langers to be shot yet? Sodomy's too good for them.
I couldn't leave yiz Billy, shure where will I get sean nos singing like ye get here on a Thursday night.
As for the Langers, I keep trying, but you know I was never very accurate with a ball, can you imagine the damage I'm doing with a gun!!! Leave it to me though, I will get them eventually(and one or two more!).
Here by the way Deel, send those shears to the boots house when you're finished like a good man!
Billy, Billy, not only are there wimmin in the bar but they are running amok with shears and hatchets.
Where's Father Mulligan?
Deel get your hands off your belt there good ladeen.
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 02:34:57 PM
Billy, Billy, not only are there wimmin in the bar but they are running amok with shears and hatchets.
Where's Father Mulligan?
Deel get your hands off your belt there good ladeen.
Reminds me of being in a certain establishment one night when a disgruntled customer started up a chainsaw and went about attacking the counter! (I kid ye not)
Door opens and pin stripe suited banker walks in -
All right Rois I'm all ready hope ya haven't been drinking to much , you might give me a mugysy style cut don't want to end up looking like god or anything . Have ya any experience ?
(hic cup) in cutting hair rois ?
Quote from: Declan on February 11, 2009, 02:53:39 PM
Door opens and pin stripe suited banker walks in -
<muppets lip trembling>
Wwwwill yah look at what the cat dragged in.......
You can take my wellies...
You can take my trousers...
But you'll never take my dignity!
</muppets lip trembling>
banker exits stage left wearing half of a dead pint of heavy round his slicked back hair and bent over double with something looking suspiciously like a credit crunch shoved up his arse.
Ah I've been taking it easy today. I once shaved a lad's head with a blunt razor blade but it was a long time ago and he grew enough hair back to cover the scars. Don't worry, ye'll be grand. Short back and sides is it?
sure go for it rois , give us a whiskey to Kill the pain there billy , Lovely Day outside isn't it Rois , sit down there good girl i won't be long cutting your locks off, where are you going on your holidays this year
Watch your back Deel, Treasurer was carrying a hatchet earlier and I heard her say something about startin' up a chainsaw.
She didn't like seeing you talking to Rois.
You've obviously got that ponytail looked after in a women's hairdressers before Deel, with that chat.
You're not touching my blonde locks let me tell ye.
i did indeed Rois its a long story myself and muppett were on the tear one thursday we had just collected the Dole and i had just finished a nixer, anyway Muppett says come with me and he brings me to this "salon" he was having a sack crack and back done now i'm from the country so i didn't know what the fcuk he was on about so while i was waiting i got the auld gruaig cut . That colour suits ya anyways Rois another pint there Billy
jaysus willie she's got quiet, see thon place up the road isnt doing a big trade either....throw me on a pint im sure they'll be back.
hows yerself anyroads, much work on?what about this oul recession...
I suppose it will be standing room only on Sunday at communion time?
Ah Puckoon, I remember you from the BallyKnockballsmore Junior D team. Water carrier wasn't it?
Did you get the leg sewn back on? You'd hardly notice.
First assistant to the water carrier now that you mention it.
Yer as sober as the last day I saw ye.
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 06:25:39 PM
First assistant to the water carrier now that you mention it.
Yer as sober as the last day I saw ye.
Not to bad thanks, early night for me tonight. Help me pull out that auld matress, there a good lad.
"Boys, the cops are up the road."
Just in from the pictures there, it's a brave distance from the picture house to here. Jameson and water le do thoill.
kids in bed, thought i'd nip in for the final part of the irish game and watch the rest of the Spanish game. on me holidays. pint of Carslberg and a wee hot whiskey to take away the cold
You've no chance of either soccer or Carlsberg in here Milltown. Just warning you before Billy shouts at you. I'd change that lager to a Guinness pretty quick.
Quote from: milltown row on February 11, 2009, 09:35:11 PM
kids in bed, thought i'd nip in for the final part of the irish game and watch the rest of the Spanish game. on me holidays. pint of Carslberg and a wee hot whiskey to take away the cold
We don't have a telly and you're standing on my bed.
Quote from: milltown row on February 11, 2009, 09:35:11 PM
kids in bed, thought i'd nip in for the final part of the irish game and watch the rest of the Spanish game. on me holidays. pint of Carslberg and a wee hot whiskey to take away the cold
A hot whiskey, there's an idea for real when I get home
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 09:38:37 PM
Quote from: milltown row on February 11, 2009, 09:35:11 PM
kids in bed, thought i'd nip in for the final part of the irish game and watch the rest of the Spanish game. on me holidays. pint of Carslberg and a wee hot whiskey to take away the cold
We don't have a telly and you're standing on my bed.
i'll watch it on my phone, no Carslberg ??? more Whiskey then
Jaysus Milltown's in. Bombscare.
its ok i went before i came in
clicky wee pub, i'm a sociable fellow ;)
Quote from: milltown row on February 11, 2009, 09:49:20 PM
clicky wee pub, i'm a sociable fellow ;)
That click you heard.........not a sociable one.........now one more time....please get of my bed.
Is this a cross community pub? Or is it in the south? What kind of money do we need? How much is a pint?
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 10:28:57 PM
Is this a cross community pub? Or is it in the south? What kind of money do we need? How much is a pint?
Let me have your wallet for a second till I see if anything is of use?
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Its almost going on 11 boys - isnt it time for the anthem?
Hello folks.
I've been a pioneer all my life, but I hear you have a pool table out the back?
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a
whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
Quote from: Fear ón Srath Bán on February 11, 2009, 10:37:57 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
I don't believe in Rules. Just ask Muppet, he saw the axe.
Quote from: hardstation on February 11, 2009, 10:36:55 PM
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 10:35:58 PM
Its almost going on 11 boys - isnt it time for the anthem?
We played that earlier to get it out of the road and have a good run of the pints.
Thats like that line from D'unbelieveables, ill dig it out here.
"She said we'd have a clear run of the day - so we'd the dinner this morning at half 8."
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:40:22 PM
Quote from: Fear ón Srath Bán on February 11, 2009, 10:37:57 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
I don't believe in Rules. Just ask Muppet, he saw the axe.
I did, that's why I'm afraid to leave. Another pint there Billy.
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:43:08 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:40:22 PM
Quote from: Fear ón Srath Bán on February 11, 2009, 10:37:57 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
I don't believe in Rules. Just ask Muppet, he saw the axe.
I did, that's why I'm afraid to leave. Another pint there Billy.
You think I wouldn't let you leave? After you tryign to get me drunk? Don't flatter yourself.
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:47:16 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:43:08 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:40:22 PM
Quote from: Fear ón Srath Bán on February 11, 2009, 10:37:57 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
I don't believe in Rules. Just ask Muppet, he saw the axe.
I did, that's why I'm afraid to leave. Another pint there Billy.
You think I wouldn't let you leave? After you tryign to get me drunk? Don't flatter yourself.
You keep asking me that. I'm afraid to leave the building, ever.
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:48:46 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:47:16 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:43:08 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:40:22 PM
Quote from: Fear ón Srath Bán on February 11, 2009, 10:37:57 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
I don't believe in Rules. Just ask Muppet, he saw the axe.
I did, that's why I'm afraid to leave. Another pint there Billy.
You think I wouldn't let you leave? After you tryign to get me drunk? Don't flatter yourself.
You keep asking me that. I'm afraid to leave the building, ever.
I'm harmless really.
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:53:23 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:48:46 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:47:16 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:43:08 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:40:22 PM
Quote from: Fear ón Srath Bán on February 11, 2009, 10:37:57 PM
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 10:34:01 PM
I'm having a hot whisky here for real - mmmm. Thanks for the suggestion Milltown!
Hope that's a whiskey and not a whisky, don't you know the rules? ;)
I don't believe in Rules. Just ask Muppet, he saw the axe.
I did, that's why I'm afraid to leave. Another pint there Billy.
You think I wouldn't let you leave? After you tryign to get me drunk? Don't flatter yourself.
You keep asking me that. I'm afraid to leave the building, ever.
I'm harmless really.
Ggggood. But why do you carry an axe instead of a handbag?
Treas are you here to give us a lift, or are you drinkin?
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 10:57:27 PM
Treas are you here to give us a lift, or are you drinkin?
I usually end up donig the driving, but tonight I'm actually sitting by the fire drinking a scatter of hot whiskys :) So ye're walking me home
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:56:11 PM
Ggggood. But why do you carry an axe instead of a handbag?
i never said i had an axe, you got carried away when I mentioned one.
Quote from: Treasurer on February 11, 2009, 11:00:47 PM
Quote from: muppet on February 11, 2009, 10:56:11 PM
Ggggood. But why do you carry an axe instead of a handbag?
i never said i had an axe, you got carried away when I mentioned one.
Jeysus if I though I'd be talking to a wummun I'd have put me teeth in and cleaned up the wellies.
Quote from: hardstation on February 11, 2009, 11:04:40 PM
S&M Offaly style:
"I don't know about all that, mister, but I've an axe in the shed".
:D
Milltown FFS, YOU'RE SNOTTERED AGAIN!
What nite is the karaoke on?
Myself and Treas could do a duet.
Quote from: maggie on February 11, 2009, 11:46:30 PM
What nite is the karaoke on?
Myself and Treas could do a duet.
Only if I can mime Maggie, I wouldn't inflict anything else on the punters.
Where's the jaxs?
Quote from: hardstation on February 11, 2009, 11:49:08 PM
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 11:41:24 PM
Milltown FFS, YOU'RE SNOTTERED AGAIN!
I know he is but there is no need for him to act the ****.
i don't get out much
Fógra: Shut the f**k up over there, I can hardly hear myself think.
Anyways, the local Sadomasochistic Club and St. Eunuchs GAA club are running a joint fundraiser here later tonight - they found it difficult to find common ground, but have decided to run a quiz competition called 'Name that Arse'.
The competition will be confined to regulars - the usual exclusions apply to underagers, gobshites and hawkers. More anon.
my heads as rough as a badger's arse,
any chance of a pint bottle of magners and a glass with ice?
I may stay away from this thread. Drinking hot whiskys last night and now I'm longing for an ice cold Bulmers...... *sigh*
OK, no pushing at the back there.
Here we go - there are 8 pictures, put a name to each arse. There are also 8 clues, but they're not 'attached' to the relevant picture. No guessing, one entry for each customer.
Clues:
In the environment that made this person famous.
Would usually be wearing less clothes, professionally.
Not as successful as their spouse.
Magic.
Flake, but not Cadbury's.
Has adopted half of Africa, apparently.
Check the sitting room.
Sligo's finest.
Pic. 1
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass1.jpg)
Pic. 2
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_11vhavc.jpg)
Pic. 3
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass8a.jpg)
Pic. 4
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass4a.jpg)
Pic. 5
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass20a.jpg)
Pic. 6
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_039_1560a-1.jpg)
Pic. 7
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_2457361787_1d1d76a6bd-2.jpg)
Pic. 8
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_tn_11.jpg)
Jaysus, ye're feckin hopeless - this is real contemplative stuff. C'mon now.
I am having difficulty concentrating on the others after seeing the wonderful Aine's arse in picture 5 :-*
3. Is it Billary?
1. Branjolina?
5. Debbie?
2. Is it Brian Lenihan running out of the Dáil?
Sorry I ceased being able to count properly after Billy's Smirnoff promotion of 2005. :-[
2. Boris?
8. Palm Eile?
6. If that is an axe in the hand it can only be.........Treas
I dont know, but Ill categorically state a desire to sit beside #4.
Good man muppet, at least you're making an effort. 1/7, if that's your last attempt. ;)
I forgot to mention the prizes:
1st prize - a year's subscription to the local S&M club
2nd prize - a 'season' ticket to St. Eunuch's GAA club championship matches
3rd prize - two 'season' tickets to St. Eunuch's GAA club championship matches
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 10:42:18 PM
Quote from: hardstation on February 11, 2009, 10:36:55 PM
Quote from: Puckoon on February 11, 2009, 10:35:58 PM
Its almost going on 11 boys - isnt it time for the anthem?
We played that earlier to get it out of the road and have a good run of the pints.
Thats like that line from D'unbelieveables, ill dig it out here.
"She said we'd have a clear run of the day - so we'd the dinner this morning at half 8."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC6kcDYOPls&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC6kcDYOPls&feature=related)
hardy night out there again men, yerra will it ever end. pint of stout there Billy.
Is Muppet asleep agin this evening, jaysus he's an awful man for the sup and the 14 childer at home be his poor wife and the clothes falling off the creaturs.
I see you've the auld photos out again Billy. I forgot me specs at home this evening but will give it a lash.
Grand pint Billy,
No 1 looks the spit of school teacher Maire Treasa O'Reilly , she was an extra in the filum Ryans Daughter , twas taken back in Inch beach during a casting session, The man is Robert Mitchum, jaysus lads but he was a great actor..
Another pint there Billy , tis yourself Tommy, Billy throw on one there for Tommy too.
Uibhir a Dó , Billy would that be the bould O'Neill being ran out of the convent when he used to hop in over the wall at lunch time to catch a glimpse of Maire Treasa.
Good man Tommy tis the way you tell them.
3 would that be our local Chairman Timmy Pat and his good wife Betty, I'm not sure but think it was taken during their honnymoon in Rosslare in 1933.
Ah go on so Tommy yerra twist my arm, shure one more wont do any harm.
Where are we now Billy, 4 is it. Ah now for f**ks sake lads would you look at the arse on that and the price of turnips............ Hould on I think I have it sussed, is it Sister Agnes before she got the calling, god forbid me but she can fill out a habit well, Isn't that right lads.
Good man Tommy , good health.
Number 5 I think we're at, no Tommy that not Beatrice Maloney, ah jaysus you should know she has that birthmark above the knee, never seen her in shorts or a skirt , but you've seen it Tommy havent you. Go on you good thing Tommy ;) No I think and i might be wrong here, is it her younger sister Nora, you know the one who used to work in the drapery before she went off to England.
6 - It it himself, the hairdresser, Christopher Murphy? Tommy what do you think ? Jaysus you'd be walking with your arse to the wall with him around and he'd put talk into a bottle for you.
Good Man Timmy Pat you'll have a pint, you're keeping well since the hip gave out on you, Tommy you too ? Billy three of you finest. We were looking at your good self here Tim in the photos, the years have been good to herself, pity we cant say the same about you Timmy, I hear the plastic hip is a great job , they say you'll knock 20 years out of it. What time are the Juniors out on Sunday ?
Give us a hand here with number 7, Timmy Pat, I'd say thats Martin Murphy, you knew his father Paddy, or Pat the baker as he is known abouts, that was the year the young buck jumped up on the stage down at Feile and him full of Smithwicks and brought shame on his familty and the whole parish. Look at him now at the end of the bar dreaming into his pint about his 10 seconds of fame.
And finally will you look at Siobhan O'Connell the lovely chef from the Hotel in number 8, she is cleaning up after the f**king dog again, he would shit 24 hours a day if he could her heart is broken by him. She has a lonely auld life though except for that dog Tommy, tis many a man has tried but as you say yourself Tommy she might be one of those lesbonons or what ever you call them.
Good man Billy here you go, will you throw a few sods on the fire, the cold if fierce i hope there is none of that fecking music tonight.
jaysus , how drunk am I now
am seeing bare arses all round the place
is it a fr jack moment, have I turned into him :o
feck, another pint there chief
How's it going lads, sorry about shouting at ye all the other night, but when I said next door I meant half a mile down the road, just beyond the corner there, just beyond Mad Johnny the Farmer's Daughter's place.
That was a quare feed of the Trappist Rochefort I had the last time I was in, any chance of another there barkeep... think I'm turning all holy, but sure I'll take another chance, can only be a bad thing.
Anyways, the young lads down below were saying there's nothing but arseholes in here betimes, but jeez did I read them the act!...
5 - Sligos Finest (the lovely Aine)
Aer a chance of any snuff in this establishment
Quote from: ludermor on February 12, 2009, 11:38:42 PM
5 - Sligos Finest (the lovely Aine)
Aer a chance of any snuff in this establishment
Not hard to be Sligos finest i'd say,hardly much competition :D
Quote from: ludermor on February 12, 2009, 11:38:42 PM
5 - Sligos Finest (the lovely Aine)
Aer a chance of any snuff in this establishment
Btw how many people use the word "Aer" i use it a fair bit myself but always get slagged by Dublin jackeens for saying it..
Quote from: muppet on February 12, 2009, 04:06:50 PM
5. Debbie?
Debbie is too classy for that sort of pose
Quote from: The Real Laoislad on February 12, 2009, 11:43:24 PM
Quote from: ludermor on February 12, 2009, 11:38:42 PM
5 - Sligos Finest (the lovely Aine)
Aer a chance of any snuff in this establishment
Btw how many people use the word "Aer" i use it a fair bit myself but always get slagged by Dublin jackeens for saying it..
As opposed to culchie jackeens?
Quote from: ludermor on February 12, 2009, 11:47:13 PM
Quote from: The Real Laoislad on February 12, 2009, 11:43:24 PM
Quote from: ludermor on February 12, 2009, 11:38:42 PM
5 - Sligos Finest (the lovely Aine)
Aer a chance of any snuff in this establishment
Btw how many people use the word "Aer" i use it a fair bit myself but always get slagged by Dublin jackeens for saying it..
As opposed to culchie jackeens?
What ya mean?
Dublin jackeens?? oh im just been cheeky, must be the hot powers.
Quote from: ludermor on February 12, 2009, 11:50:14 PM
Dublin jackeens?? oh im just been cheeky, must be the hot powers.
Ah I get ya..sorry must be the bottle of wine I necked
They erved you wine....in here :o
How are you men, is the boss about, ah there ye are Billy, i was looking a word., if i could have a minute, in the Snug thats grand, an Orange Juice, thanks all the same but im in a rush to a meeting. Tell ye what it is Billy, his Reverence asked me to have a word with ye in my capacity as Head of the Mens Sodality,and the Legion of Mary Praesidium about certain rumours that have come to his Ears implying the presence of unaccompanied females in your Bar, and lewd licentious talk in their presence. He is concerned that this could lead to bad company keeping and moral danger. Now,now ,dont get angry, hear me out, sure i told him myself, you are a good christian man, first forward to the rails of a Sunday and a free hand when the plate comes round, but ye know what hes like what hes like when the Hares ris and he has a scent. Sure im only passing on in a friendly way whats afoot.Now theres no need to be getting airy, and blackguarding people that have your best interests at heart. Thats true for you, i said it myself, respectable men like Hardy and Fear On Strath Ban would not be drinking every night in an establishment that had such goings on. Now,now sit down Man and calm yourself, sure if the hard word im giving ye, its from a good heart. There is some young gurriers sitting in there and its not the mysteries of the Rosary they be talking about, would you want own fine daughters to be seen in their company, clear them out like a good man and dont be filling the neighbours mouths with talk, if the Guards hev to be called.. Howl by my sowl, im late for my meeting. Will ye be coming to the Whist on Sunday night, the Canon thought ye might donate a Turkey
Pangurban you're a bad 'un, sure myself and Treasurer are only up makin the sangwiches and keep ourselves upstairs in the living room. And I'm on the ginger ale and Treasurer's drinking a cidona. Nothing to see here.
Is there anyone there that can translate Pangurban for me? - though I'm not sure I want to know.
Looks like the quiz is too hard for our resident brainiacs - maybe I'll have a look at the clues again later. Feckin' hopeless the lot of ye.
Fógra: The temperature has risen to 6oC - there'll be no fire today.
Is #7 Cian Egan from Westlife?
Clues have now been attached to relevant pictures - no more hand-holding ye lamps.
Pic. 1
Flake, but not Cadbury's.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass1.jpg)
Pic. 2
Has adopted half of Africa, apparently.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_11vhavc.jpg)
Pic. 3
Not as successful as their spouse.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass8a.jpg)
Pic. 4
Check the sitting room.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass4a.jpg)
Pic. 5
Sligo's finest.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass20a.jpg)
Pic. 6
Sportsperson - would usually be wearing less clothes, professionally.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_039_1560a-1.jpg)
Pic. 7
Magic.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_2457361787_1d1d76a6bd-2.jpg)
Pic. 8
In the environment that made this person famous.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_tn_11.jpg)
8 is Pamela Anderson
I'm ignoring all entries that don't make a stab at each one - this thread has form, beauty and substance, not some stupid youngster, airhead, shouty-mouth thread.
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 13, 2009, 10:16:55 AM
Clues have now been attached to relevant pictures - no more hand-holding ye lamps.
Pic. 1
Flake, but not Cadbury's. Joss Stone
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass1.jpg)
Pic. 2
Has adopted half of Africa, apparently. Brad & Angelina
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_11vhavc.jpg)
Stumpt on a few
Pic. 3
Not as successful as their spouse.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass8a.jpg)
Pic. 4
Check the sitting room. Abi Clancy
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass4a.jpg)
Pic. 5
Sligo's finest. Aine Chambers
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass20a.jpg)
Pic. 6
Sportsperson - would usually be wearing less clothes, professionally.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_039_1560a-1.jpg)
Pic. 7
Magic. Bruce Springsteen
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_2457361787_1d1d76a6bd-2.jpg)
Pic. 8
In the environment that made this person famous. Pamela Anderson
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_tn_11.jpg)
4/8 - Ludermor.
Added another one Abi Clancy?
Still 4/8. ;)
Jaysus, if I put on the fire will ye make an effort?
Howya lads - just a swift pint there please. Runoff me feet these last few days.
Jaysus scary when the only arse I recognise is the Boss!!!
Sportsperson a swimmer - Sharon Davies?? - again showing the old age
No cigar Declan, Sharon Davies had a far nicer asset than that one. You'll be very surprised at the answer to that one.
Billy,
Just popped in to see is it true the Whipping Boys are playing here next week?
Dinny
A bit contrary to quiet contemplation, Dinny; we might have some pan-pipes on Wednesday night.
What makes the guys posting on this thread any less of a gobshite than the fella's who posted on the threads that some on here who have a holier than thou attitude too. If anything grown men pretending to be in a pub and ordering drinks and talking about putting sticks on a fire have far more of a immaturity problem than a few youngfella's boasting about their sexual conquests. At least the youngfella's have a chance to grow out of it, the same can't be said for a few of the guys on here who seem to have such a high opinion of themselves.
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 13, 2009, 10:55:49 AM
4/8 - Ludermor.
*Lid rises slowly on turf bunker.........Muppet climbs out*
Morning all. Pint please Billy.
WTF did I not have Branjolina and Palm Eile in addition to Billary and you only gave me one (pardon the pun in case Father Panguban hears).
Quote from: WeAreBlueWeAreWhite on February 13, 2009, 03:39:11 PM
What makes the guys posting on this thread any less of a gobshite than the fella's who posted on the threads that some on here who have a holier than thou attitude too. If anything grown men pretending to be in a pub and ordering drinks and talking about putting sticks on a fire have far more of a immaturity problem than a few youngfella's boasting about their sexual conquests. At least the youngfella's have a chance to grow out of it, the same can't be said for a few of the guys on here who seem to have such a high opinion of themselves.
Very well put. Lads I'm afraid to tell ye but its actually cringe-worthy reading some of the things on this. Perhaps you should delete the thread and pick up whatever dignity you all have left ;)
Quote from: SidelineKick on February 13, 2009, 06:02:57 PM
Quote from: WeAreBlueWeAreWhite on February 13, 2009, 03:39:11 PM
What makes the guys posting on this thread any less of a gobshite than the fella's who posted on the threads that some on here who have a holier than thou attitude too. If anything grown men pretending to be in a pub and ordering drinks and talking about putting sticks on a fire have far more of a immaturity problem than a few youngfella's boasting about their sexual conquests. At least the youngfella's have a chance to grow out of it, the same can't be said for a few of the guys on here who seem to have such a high opinion of themselves.
Very well put. Lads I'm afraid to tell ye but its actually cringe-worthy reading some of the things on this. Perhaps you should delete the thread and pick up whatever dignity you all have left ;)
Billy! Can you get the lads 2 big bottles of shut the f*ck up....please?
Right Billy, it's Friday night and I've had to put my bottle of Pouilly Fume in a hip flask and smuggle in. Could you turn a blind eye and give me a wine glass with that whiskey please.
Knock knock Knock
Billy 'tis me , yerra am I too late for a pint, going to Croke Park tomorrow and the throat is dry from the nerves and the excitement.
Here Billy let us in - just wanna pickup them club lottos I left behind the bar last night... hic...
Surprised that a pub that doesn't do weekend openings!
Unless it was doors closed so the Leitrim wans could drown their sorrows in peace maybe. :D
'Mad dog' is my new shot of choice, don't suppose I'll be getting one here
Nobody's getting served until there are serious competition entries - barman's sulking.
Useless, I say, useless the lot of ye ... ::)
Pic. 1
Flake, but not Cadbury's. Answer: Britney Spears
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_britney_spears_ass_oops.jpg)
Pic. 2
Has adopted half of Africa, apparently. Answer: Brad Pitt
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_11vhavc.jpg)
Pic. 3
Not as successful as their spouse. Answer: Hilary Clinton
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_clinton2Xart280.jpg)
Pic. 4
Check the sitting room. Answer: It's either Rois or Treasurer, I took thie picture while they were taking out the ashes last week, but I couldn't work out who it was.
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_ass4a.jpg)
Pic. 5
Sligo's finest. Answer: Áine Chambers
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_aine.jpg)
Pic. 6
Sportsperson - would usually be wearing less clothes, professionally. Answer: Oscar de la Hoya
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_039_1560a.jpg)
Pic. 7
Magic. Answer: Bruce Springsteen
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_2457361787_1d1d76a6bd-1.jpg)
Pic. 8
In the environment that made this person famous. Answer: Pamela Anderson
(http://s702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/billys-boots/th_tn_11.jpg)
No. 4 must be Rois, I wear a nylon housecoat when I'm putting out the ashes.
I dunno T, it was you came down with the bucket of ashes that day.
Nope, it's Treasurer, I wouldn't put a soccer top on me if I was paid.
Are ya sure Rois? My body dysmorphia must be worse than I thought!
I dunno Rois, I've seen Azzurri gaelic jersies like that before.
I thought No. 5 was Spot. Or Rover I mean. Which reminds me - any of yiz see any sign of him?
sorry for asking a stupid question but can someone explain No 1 to me.
Quote from: Hardy on February 20, 2009, 03:11:54 PM
I thought No. 5 was Spot. Or Rover I mean. Which reminds me - any of yiz see any sign of him?
He got too friendly and I gave him a bowl of super hot beef korma with a laxative mixed in it. I wouldn't let him sleep in the bed tonight, you never know, it could be your lucky night ;)
Can I have a coke please?
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 20, 2009, 03:20:31 PM
Quote from: Hardy on February 20, 2009, 03:11:54 PM
I thought No. 5 was Spot. Or Rover I mean. Which reminds me - any of yiz see any sign of him?
He got too friendly and I gave him a bowl of super hot beef korma with a laxative mixed in it. I wouldn't let him sleep in the bed tonight, you never know, it could be your lucky night ;)
That's grand so BC. I thought he might have run away after I showed him the get-up we were going to tog out in if you were going to be at your usual carry-on over there at the fire.
(http://s648.photobucket.com/albums/uu206/Hardyarse/Soldier-French.jpg)
Are you keeping the prices low Billy? With all that's gone on, its been quiet around here recently.
Tis Friday though after all and there's a couple quid in the pay check. I'll have a pint please - but no half un this time.
Give me a pint a stout.
Take wan yourself.
Shussssh the Six one news is on. Another medjum of the blackstuff for me.
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on February 04, 2011, 07:46:13 PM
Shussssh the Six one news is on. Another medjum of the blackstuff for me.
Put your money away lad.
I'll get it.
With the auld tightening of the belts I haven't been able to make it here, good to see the auld place hasn't fallen foul of hard times and the threat of a FG Government. Time to get a re-session going! Pint and a Powers when you're ready Billy!
Stick me on another pint.
Jesus the missus will kill me.
Pint of porter please sir. Do you have a phone in here?
Quote from: King Kenny on February 04, 2011, 08:24:57 PM
Pint of porter please sir. Do you have a phone in here?
You're some craic!!!!!! There isn't even a bog ;D
Ach, it wasn't important anyway. Just wanted to tell the brother the dippers are at the crossroads. Cowl the night.
Some Red wine please, leave the bottle.
Come on Wales!!
Stick the kettle on.
Hot powers, 1 sugar, no lemon & no cloves.
Hardy, any chance of sticking more coal on the fire for FFS??
Doya member your man who used to own the wee shop down the road round the corner? Wasnit him that said "you shouln't if ya couln't but feck it anyways", and ye hows my pint coming along?
Right i'm away on here.
Early rise in the morning.
Best a luck te ye all.
I say Fcuk twice, stuttering with the drink and cold
Tis cowl alright.
Thon winds a bitch too, nearly knocked me off the bike on the way down. Any side of the Semi langer or is he walking Spot/Rover?
He's away to get turf. I'll believe it when I see it.
NAMA's been good to me, I only do midweek shifts behind the bar now and can get Hardy to buy in a bottle or two of Chablis for a Fri night. Another for my sister and I pls...
Evening lads. Pint of stout please. Anyone for a game of darts?
Quote from: Orior on February 04, 2011, 09:46:35 PM
Evening lads. Pint of stout please. Anyone for a game of darts?
thats not a game, what about a game og dominos
I have a deck of cards if anyone wants a game of 45?
Quote from: STREET FIGHTER on February 04, 2011, 07:50:28 PM
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on February 04, 2011, 07:46:13 PM
Shussssh the Six one news is on. Another medjum of the blackstuff for me.
Put your money away lad.
I'll get it.
Cheers SF, what ya having yourself? Was just next door watching the rugby the English lads won. Have ye got a Nokia charger behind the bar, ya do, cheers.
Quote from: Square Ball on February 04, 2011, 09:50:09 PM
Quote from: Orior on February 04, 2011, 09:46:35 PM
Evening lads. Pint of stout please. Anyone for a game of darts?
thats not a game, what about a game og dominos
Anyone got a chess board?
Can anyone else play backgammon?
Quote from: Orior on February 04, 2011, 10:07:46 PM
Can anyone else play backgammon?
No thats all Greek to me!
Anyone for a few shots of abseinthe?
No?
I'll get my coat.
Quote from: Orior on February 04, 2011, 10:07:46 PM
Can anyone else play backgammon?
I can play backgammon sir, spent over a year living in Greece where I picked it up.
'knock knock' open up Hardy, just got my transfer results. Looks like i-m heading to CBS Sec. I'll have some Buckfast please.
Any chance of a cure?
People seem to have me confused with the proprietor. The firm bears the family name as it was founded by my great-grandfather but he was swindled out of it in a game of poker by a smooth-talking, shifty-handed card sharp from Longford. Mr William Boots is your host and I should warn you not to be asking for wine or fancy ladies' drinks.
Sid down Spot!
Has anyone seen my coat!!
Quote from: STREET FIGHTER on February 05, 2011, 10:36:24 AM
Has anyone seen my coat!!
Cheers Bar man.
Freezing without it.
I'll be back for the football round-up.
jesus great to see this place open again and packed to the rafters and it only 12o'clock. why did they change the name from hardy's to hooters ? Ah i see now and in the meath colours as well hardy's some boyo
Lock in anyone????
Quote from: maggie on February 06, 2011, 03:42:39 AM
Lock in anyone????
Sorry Maggie you will have to be served in the Lounge.
Lock in for the superbowl surely?
Quote from: lurganblue on February 06, 2011, 08:20:59 PM
Lock in for the superbowl surely?
Whats a superbowl? Is that an automatic toilet?
Why do I have to go to the lounge?
Throw me on a pint please.
Quote from: maggie on February 06, 2011, 10:00:38 PM
Why do I have to go to the lounge?
Don't you want to go?
The ladies from Hooters are waiting to watch the suprbowl with you.
Feck it, stay in the bar so
I'll finsih the weekend off with a Jameson with a drop of water.
Go aisy on the water.
Quote from: TacadoirArdMhacha on February 07, 2011, 12:06:25 AM
I'll finsih the weekend off with a Jameson with a drop of water.
Go aisy on the water.
"would you like some water with that?"
"nope. No point in both us putting water in it"
Get the f*ck out the lot of ye - what do ye think this is, a business?
Quote from: Billys Boots on February 07, 2011, 10:08:11 AM
Get the f*ck out the lot of ye - what do ye think this is, a business?
Is the Monday Club open, I'm fecking gasping! :P I need something to ease my wobbly guts!
i,ll take a coke please and a glass of fizzy water please, you dont mind if the missus uses the toilet?
So long as she doesn't mind using the walk around urinal (wall) out the back.
G'day all.
I see you've done some decorating with the stuffed Cowen in the corner an' all.
Oh......eh....mmmmm didn't see you there..........sorry Brian.
No I ******** won't buy you a drink.
Here I'll have a Smithwicks there please.
Pint a harp.
Powers and a drop a water.
Sure I'll have whatever your havin...
Sure I'll get this round lads.
if your buying i'll have a double brandy ya miserable hoor :)
Quote from: lawnseed on February 18, 2011, 09:33:16 PM
if your buying i'll have a double brandy ya miserable hoor :)
Sound, throw that on for the young lad..
Quote from: mayogodhelpus@gmail.com on February 18, 2011, 09:35:06 PM
Quote from: lawnseed on February 18, 2011, 09:33:16 PM
if your buying i'll have a double brandy ya miserable hoor :)
Sound, throw that on for the young lad..
your softening me up with that 'young' craic :D keep it up
Too many boys in here tonight after the elections. Yiz want to see the craic on the voting thread.
Only calling in for a quick pint of stout. Can't stay long as i might miss the row on the election tread
Just called in for one on my way home from the election tread. As usual i arrived when the whole craic was over
Lock in? the last bar shut early and don't feel like going home yet. Pint of magners if its there. draught if possible
Hey James ya hoor ya, that stouts red rotton. "I don't hear anyone else complaining"
Jeyes! there's an awful reek from them Jacks! Spud, have you been on the Red Heart along with that feed of bacon and cabbage? Feck sake, light another one of those Carrolls, will ye? You'd think that the Germans had launched some Mustard Gas over the top. Yer man has 'dropped the kids off at the swimmers' and begod they needed a dip. Anyway, d'ye think Lennon would take McCoist? .... Hold on, ah why not? Sure get me a Bush with a Baileys and ice, oh and a pint of Double if you're goin up.........................................
turn it round to BBC 2 quick Hardy, want to see england getting whacked??
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on March 02, 2011, 10:10:12 PM
turn it round to BBC 2 quick Hardy, want to see england getting whacked??
Here! You know the rules! It's GAA in here and maybe soccer if Celtic or Jack's Lads or the 'Boys in Green' are playing. Rugby - but only under sufferance as they are only a shower of stuck-up hures that went to those boarding schools. Cricket? .. what's that? .. we won .. and beat the Brits? ........... feck me, turn it over for feck sake!!!!!!!!!
Ok last five minutes will do, I'm heading round for a kebab
Whats the thread actually about?
It's about listening to the mirror, a yawn in the shed, the splish of a wildebeest dropped from a height.
I'll try another pint of that stuff Billy, like a good man. Absinthe, did you say?
Need to see a man about a dog. Anyone got any leads for me?
Quote from: ziggysego on March 03, 2011, 10:12:20 AM
Need to see a man about a dog. Anyone got any leads for me?
You are barking up the wrong tree.
A rising pint please.
Would anyone like to buy a book of tickets for a draw? It's in support of the Coffin Project which buys coffins for people over the age of 50 from lower classes and lower middle classes (earning under £40'000 per annum) if they want them.
The prizes are:
1 bag of apples
30 Mars Bars
1 lamb
1 ash tray
Hair curlers
1 woman's swim suit
1 car
£1 each or a book of 6 for £5.75
QuoteAbsinthe, did you say?
Are ye raving?
Olly, like a good man, go back out and read the 'No Hawkers' sign. And don't let the door hit your arse.
4 reverse jegabombs and 20 regal filter please.
Quote from: Billys Boots on March 03, 2011, 02:38:33 PM
QuoteAbsinthe, did you say?
Are ye raving?
Olly, like a good man, go back out and read the 'No Hawkers' sign. And don't let the door hit your arse.
Boots, there's a Brazilian female mud wrestling team on the way into town, would you have any objection to them using the back yard for practice? I knew that day your lack of cleanliness in here would be of great benefit :P
Quote4 reverse jegabombs and 20 regal filter please.
Sorry sonny, no idea what you're on about. Follow Olly.
QuoteBoots, there's a Brazilian female mud wrestling team on the way into town, would you have any objection to them using the back yard for practice?
As long as they don't go cleaning the place up; and mind they don't move in.
Stout, dirty glass please.
Pint of special and a small one please Hardy!
"Here, fill her up again. ... A word in private there boss if you don't mind? ................... Listen, see that woman from the camp up the road? Well she was hanging about at the side last night when I came out. Well, you know what its like on the way home and ye have a few shillin in yer pockets - you know the score. I mean, whats the harm in it?
So anyway, she takes me round the back of Shane's butchers and ........ ................. .......................... ............................... No joke - Every Last Feckin Drop!!!!
So I goes on me way and sure enough I gets in and isnt me feckin wallet gone!!! Look, I ve no money on me tonight so if you could see your way to giving me tick until Sarday, I 'll see you right ....! Feckin dorty huare! Last time I go near that type etc etc ""
any live entertainment on at the weekend?
Quote from: Square Ball on March 03, 2011, 09:42:41 PM
any live entertainment on at the weekend?
Shhhhhhh! Feck sake, keep it down. Lookat, rap the side door at about one tomorrow morn - good stuff on the cards. Yer recall that fella Murphy - him that was in Thailand last year who tole the yarn about the wan firing a ping pong ball from her thing? Well, it seems that there's this wan from the Road who can do the same with a wet sliotar! Fecking seein is believing. Yer man is putting a basketball hoop under the TV and yer wans gonna go for five in a row from the back of the bar. Don't tell anyone ye hear? Two euro entrance fee - all goin to Trocaire apparently.
Billy!
Just stoppin fro a couple a bottles a stout as I have the Massey running outside.
Have ye done the place up? :-\
That looks like fresh masking tape on the stools.
Quote from: LeoMc on March 04, 2011, 12:06:32 PM
Just stoppin fro a couple a bottles a stout as I have the Massey running outside.
Have ye done the place up? :-\
That looks like fresh masking tape on the stools.
No! Just leave the stools in the Jacks!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Any chance of the cure round here??
Jeez that smell is making me ill
The urinal is overflowing again, ffs, its like Bangladesh after a Monsoon in there.
Would ya ever take a look in the snug there like a good man and see what me missus and the mother-in-law is wanting.
I'd say the boos will do nicely with a cup of Irel coffee and a handful of Marietta biscuits. The oul' battleaxe will take a large Sandemans port I'd be swearin'. Ah, shure I'll have a wee Paddy and a bottle of stout for the chaser as per usual.
great fire.. you cant beat the ash for the heat especially if its dry, i'll try a shandy still early, some fecker broke the mirror off the car last night.. dear night out..
jeez thats some mess in japan.. pint please mr.hardy
Sorry lads, already a bit loaded. 'Tis some walk to here down the quays, ne'er a bleedin' taxi in sight!
An oul pint there bartender, if it wouldn't be a mind to you!
Still, mustn't grumble, except that have you copped that egregious yoke with her fluorescent knickers hanging out from the telegraph pole down the road? Would put the sufferings of Sisyphus in the shade!
Quote from: lawnseed on March 06, 2011, 01:54:29 PM
great fire.. you cant beat the ash for the heat especially if its dry, i'll try a shandy still early, some fecker broke the mirror off the car last night.. dear night out..
Great fire indeed. You remember yer man who died last year? him with the glass eye? Jeyes, he had some spit on him! Nearly put that fire out with his 'pavement omlettes'. Still, another pint there Seamus. Nah, a fresh glass if you don't mind. When are you lockin the door for your woman who can fire the sliotars out of her f...y?
Aye set me up with another bottle of red please, had to leave my house, well i think it is. Was watching Memento and everything is in reverse!!!
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on March 11, 2011, 11:32:25 PM
Aye set me up with another bottle of red please, had to leave my house, well i think it is. Was watching Memento and everything is in reverse!!!
that show'd give you a pain in the head, tg4's showing arma beating kerry stick it on now thats a momento ;)
top drawer, thon match. i ended up in Cullyhanna first that night the finished up in Crossmaglen!!! what a night/day
another bottle of the French red please, no more after that, Hurling tomorrow against a team form MUFF!!!
Quote from: Milltown Row2 on March 12, 2011, 12:02:06 AM
top drawer, thon match. i ended up in Cullyhanna first that night the finished up in Crossmaglen!!! what a night/day
another bottle of the French red please, no more after that, Hurling tomorrow against a team form MUFF!!!
Youse at the Row tomorrow as there is heavy snow due and there is no way you'd get to Donegal according to the weatherman.
Home. is the snow that bad?? lock in required Hardy
stick on the kettle and get out the cloves and sugar hardy and make sure you warm the glass
Jeysus just asked the young lad what he wanted to be when he grew up?
He said I want to be a bondholder.
Pint of porter please.
Quote from: muppet on March 16, 2011, 01:33:20 PM
Jeysus just asked the young lad what he wanted to be when he grew up?
He said I want to be a bondholder.
Pint of porter please.
Good God but could have been worse, he could have said he wanted to move back to Mayo :P
Throw one on for me boss and make it a lucky one, I have a few heavy days ahead!
cutting the lawns thirsty work.. what about a smithwicks?
i'd say they'll drop kick him through the door of the fiddlers some evening after training.. and grimley will be lucky to get his coat..
Piss off, you're barred.
Soft seat required. One of them days.
I'll bring it over to ye when it's ready.
Quote from: maddog on October 25, 2011, 03:16:16 PM
Soft seat required. One of them days.
Have ye got any of these at all?
(http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/images/pr/preparation-h-suppositories-12x.jpg)
Or even one of these...
(http://hemorrhoidstales.com/wp-content/uploads/image/Why-Use-The-Hemorrhoid-Pillow.jpg)
I'm in the wrong pub!
Quote from: muppet on October 25, 2011, 03:32:28 PM
I'm in the wrong pub!
Are ye sure, its better than any race for the Aras :P
no politics or religion discussions allowed ;)
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on October 25, 2011, 03:23:35 PM
Quote from: maddog on October 25, 2011, 03:16:16 PM
Soft seat required. One of them days.
Have ye got any of these at all?
(http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/images/pr/preparation-h-suppositories-12x.jpg)
Or even one of these...
(http://hemorrhoidstales.com/wp-content/uploads/image/Why-Use-The-Hemorrhoid-Pillow.jpg)
If i needed them i wouldnt be wanting a high stool at all.
Top that pint off would ye.
Are there enough in here for a game of 25?
New shopfront. I blame Diarmuid Gavin .
(http://vintagebrighton.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/DSC01457.jpg)
Give us the cure there, will ya?
Did any of ye hear Liveline yesterday?
Pangurban had an I would just love it moment.
Pint of bitter please.
Do yiz have any Cabernet?
Does this establishment have an open fire. Throw on plenty of turf today. While weather. Day for the fire and a few bottles that.
Quote from: Puckoon on November 25, 2011, 06:05:21 AM
Do yiz have any Cabernet?
Yeah, I think that's where he keeps his Meath U12 runners up medal and the signed framed photos of Trevor Giles and Ollie Murphy :P
Still struggling about after a serious bit of shappin'.
Knocking off work shortly - is there any stout left at all?
Quote from: Puckoon on December 22, 2011, 11:47:06 PM
Knocking off work shortly - is there any stout left at all?
Hardy has gone all PC and he only has
Stout-lite.
Ill have two.
Sorry I have not been in for a while guys, The wife found out about me taking the quare one home one night. ;)
How often do I have to tell yiz this pub has nothing to do with me other than my grandfather's name over the door and my slate behind the bar? My grandaddy was swindled out of it by a fast-talking flim-flam merchant from Longord. Your host at the present time is Mister William Boots, also and not coincidentally from Longford.
Any chance for a pint of stout? First pint of the holidays
First time in thsi establishment.
What are the women like?
more importantly though, what are the jax like? Is there hot water in the taps?
Any Trappist yet? Thought not, I'm off again, peasants! :P
Cabernet? I thought you were trying to keep them fekin christmas parties out of here after thon quare one last year flashing at just retired and him takinthe wrong idea.
Leomac,It was`nt the wrong idea,but I had to attend the clinic for three months after it. Maybe it was the wrong idea. :D
Surprised with the week that's in it there aren't more in here. Do you have the Blarney Band booked for Saturday?
Head is lifting here, I need a Bloody Mary.
Quote from: Puckoon on March 15, 2012, 04:25:03 PM
Surprised with the week that's in it there aren't more in here. Do you have the Blarney Band booked for Saturday?
Head is lifting here, I need a Bloody Mary.
No Cocktails here.
Quote from: Puckoon on March 15, 2012, 04:25:03 PMI need a Bloody Mary.
Heads turn from the racing on TV. Heads turn to each other. Heads shake. Heads turn back to TV.
Here's a bottle of Macardles; let me not hear another word out of ye!
Well you finally got the TV in, that's progression.
The ould black and white is only brought in for Cheltenham.
The picture of Hardy's tv isn't very good but at least you can hear the commentary.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/92/RadioCapelinha.jpg)
What is the wifi password?
It's always the same - if the wifi calls, I'm not here.
(http://ris.fashion.telegraph.co.uk/RichImageService.svc/imagecontent/1/TMG9141476/m/nike-black-tan_2166738a.jpg)
Any chance for one of these? ;)
Gimmi a hot wan, cloves and lemon. Dosed with the cold.
*looks around* How ye men...
Quote from: AbbeySider on March 30, 2012, 03:19:10 PM
Gimmi a hot wan, cloves and lemon. Dosed with the cold.
*looks around* How ye men...
Chriest are ya trying to strangle me! Throw another drop of sugar in that, good lad.
Get out and stay out.
Will yeh be puttin on d'wirelsss for the match, Billy, a-Sunda? Only I'll stop atome an look at it on d'box if not.
Quote from: Hardy on September 17, 2012, 11:34:09 AM
Will yeh be puttin on d'wirelsss for the match, Billy, a-Sunda? Only I'll stop atome an look at it on d'box if not.
Can't bate the Monday club boys to get the weekend out of ye!!! Pint and a packet of cheese and onion like a good man. Fairly find the evenings drawing in, tis dark at half 7.
When did this place re-open? I see ye havnt changed it much.
Gimmi a pint of Arthur... You not travellin to the match Hardy?
Yeah the evenings really closing in fast. We dont feel it now till Christmas. It was 100 days or something during the week?
Match? Not at all. Sure ye'll see more on d'telly.
The nights are drawing in all right. We won't miss it now till Christmas.
True for ya
Quote from: Hardy on September 17, 2012, 11:34:09 AM
Will yeh be puttin on d'wirelsss for the match, Billy, a-Sunda? Only I'll stop atome an look at it on d'box if not.
There'll be a 25 Card Drive on Sunday. All Day. No wireless, no sunlight, no draught. That is all.
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 17, 2012, 11:45:17 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 17, 2012, 11:34:09 AM
Will yeh be puttin on d'wirelsss for the match, Billy, a-Sunda? Only I'll stop atome an look at it on d'box if not.
There'll be a 25 Card Drive on Sunday. All Day. No wireless, no sunlight, no draught. That is all.
Can we still play our weekly 9 on Sunday night? You need a good partner for a 25 drive but the 9 is a better game.
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 17, 2012, 11:45:17 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 17, 2012, 11:34:09 AM
Will yeh be puttin on d'wirelsss for the match, Billy, a-Sunda? Only I'll stop atome an look at it on d'box if not.
There'll be a 25 Card Drive on Sunday. All Day. No wireless, no sunlight, no draught. That is all.
You're as miserable a hoor as your father and his shifty-fingered father before him.
Cops up the road.
Quote from: ONeill on September 17, 2012, 11:56:32 AM
Cops up the road.
Fuk... Gimmi two packs of tayto so, and stick on another pint.
Did anyone round here get bagged lately? I heard they were around a lot lately.
Quote from: AbbeySider on September 17, 2012, 11:47:17 AM
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 17, 2012, 11:45:17 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 17, 2012, 11:34:09 AM
Will yeh be puttin on d'wirelsss for the match, Billy, a-Sunda? Only I'll stop atome an look at it on d'box if not.
There'll be a 25 Card Drive on Sunday. All Day. No wireless, no sunlight, no draught. That is all.
Can we still play our weekly 9 on Sunday night? You need a good partner for a 25 drive but the 9 is a better game.
If you'd like to play something, find somewhere that plays it. Mind the door doesn't hit your arse there now!
Any lotto tickets left behind the bar? Forgot to get mine last night
Stressful morning, give me something strong.
Couldn't get tickets for the game.
Quote from: Declan on September 17, 2012, 01:09:31 PM
Any lotto tickets left behind the bar? Forgot to get mine last night
Do you think this is some sort of service industry?
How ya Zig
Yed think a man wi your connections could get tickets. You must know some boys from that modding ye be doin.
*Mumbles* <This Guinness is like piss>
Throw me out a can there Billy.
Some ice too if their not cold.
birthday next week , can you put on a few trays of sandwiches in the botttom bar?
<Peers around the door jamb>
Is himself about? I was a bit cheeky there earlier - I hope I'm not in the bad books. It's a long walk to the Railway Arms.
Can any of ye get me a ticket for the All Ireland?
Another can there....
Tin cans are for vegetables - they're highly unsuitable for beer, or at least the kind of beer we have in this establishment. Let me tell you now, for once and for all, beer in tin cans and their like will never darken the doorstep of this public house. I'll not say it again.
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 17, 2012, 04:48:48 PM
Tin cans are for vegetables - they're highly unsuitable for beer, or at least the kind of beer we have in this establishment. Let me tell you now, for once and for all, beer in tin cans and their like will never darken the doorstep of this public house. I'll not say it again.
Sound, pour me a small wan so, and throw a dash of lemonade in it
Lemonade is for ladies; you'll find it in the sitting room upstairs - don't do anything you wouldn't do at home. On second thoughts, go home.
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 17, 2012, 04:53:07 PM
Lemonade is for ladies; you'll find it in the sitting room upstairs - don't do anything you wouldn't do at home. On second thoughts, go home.
F**k off and pour me a whiskey
Right sonny, you're barred. Igor, Igor!!
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 17, 2012, 04:56:35 PM
Right sonny, you're barred. Igor, Igor!!
F**k this, its time to go home anyway, I am here all day.
I need to ring the quare wan to bring me home, are the cops still at the crossroads? I might chance it....
I'm on a diet do you sell Coors Light?
Quote from: Dougal Maguire on September 17, 2012, 05:30:42 PM
I'm on a diet do you sell Coors Light?
Holy f**k, here she comes!
(http://www.indianchild.com/images/valcanoe2.jpg)
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on September 17, 2012, 05:36:05 PM
Quote from: Dougal Maguire on September 17, 2012, 05:30:42 PM
I'm on a diet do you sell Coors Light?
Holy f**k, here she comes!
(http://www.indianchild.com/images/valcanoe2.jpg)
Holly feck.Jacket on,short buried an out,and dont look back ,here it comes!
Quote from: cuconnacht on September 18, 2012, 07:00:56 AM
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on September 17, 2012, 05:36:05 PM
Quote from: Dougal Maguire on September 17, 2012, 05:30:42 PM
I'm on a diet do you sell Coors Light?
Holy f**k, here she comes!
(http://www.indianchild.com/images/valcanoe2.jpg)
Holly feck.Jacket on,short buried an out,and dont look back ,here it comes!
Ye know its a nice soft day to dander down to the Railway arms. Sure tis only down't road a bitteen.
Feckin piss-drinkers; now you've done it. If this goes on we'll be doing a looped showing of 'The Big Lebowski' and 'The Guard' all day, on alternate days, towards eternity. Shite, I'll have to buy one of them televisuamathingy yokes. Bollix.
Do you still keep a Babycham or two for sendin out to herself in the car while she's waitin?
Billy can you send someone in with some bog roll, or a locka sea shells?
Quote from: Hardy on September 18, 2012, 11:23:34 AM
Do you still keep a Babycham or two for sendin out to herself in the car while she's waitin?
Waitin; what does that mean?
Quote from: Puckoon on September 18, 2012, 11:24:30 AM
Billy can you send someone in with some bog roll, or a locka sea shells?
What's wrong with the sandpaper and Swarfega?
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 18, 2012, 11:38:59 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 18, 2012, 11:23:34 AM
Do you still keep a Babycham or two for sendin out to herself in the car while she's waitin?
Waitin; what does that mean?
We're all la-de-da now? Waiting, doun't you knouw, for me to finish my few pints.
Quote from: Hardy on September 18, 2012, 11:42:26 AM
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 18, 2012, 11:38:59 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 18, 2012, 11:23:34 AM
Do you still keep a Babycham or two for sendin out to herself in the car while she's waitin?
Waitin; what does that mean?
We're all la-de-da now? Waiting, doun't you knouw, for me to finish my few pints.
What's that got to do with me - am I to be entertaining people outside now. Where will it all end - comfortable chairs or cushions, I spose next.
The name's Thornton. Sean Thornton.
Quote from: southdown on September 18, 2012, 12:35:55 PM
The name's Thornton. Sean Thornton.
Welcome home Yank
Pint there Billy...
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 18, 2012, 11:51:05 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 18, 2012, 11:42:26 AM
Quote from: Billys Boots on September 18, 2012, 11:38:59 AM
Quote from: Hardy on September 18, 2012, 11:23:34 AM
Do you still keep a Babycham or two for sendin out to herself in the car while she's waitin?
Waitin; what does that mean?
We're all la-de-da now? Waiting, doun't you knouw, for me to finish my few pints.
What's that got to do with me - am I to be entertaining people outside now. Where will it all end - comfortable chairs or cushions, I spose next.
Nah, a pool table with a royal blue cloth, de duke box and a Sahara hot nuts machine is badly needed in here.
Hardy,
If you have the skillet on - I'll have a bacon soda farl with a pint and a wee powers while she's settling.
Cheers
(the amakane shebeen)
How man times do I have to tell yiz? It's my name over the door but Mr Boots here pockets the takings of the establishment, a fair proportion of them contributed by yours truly.
I don't care who makes it, but a bacon soda farl sounds mighty right now.
Had enough of this shite talk, and my arseeen is broken off this stool.
G'luck men
Mr Boots,what time are ya opnin at sunday mornin,and monday.The queer one in da railway reckons shes openin at dawn but i dont trust her,shes sellin boot loads a coors shite.Oh,an are ya bringn da T.V down to put the match on,i,ll settle da slate soon as i dock,left sharpish da last nite cos i thought ye were gonna explode,"coors whaaaaat!.Double paddy no ice/water and leave me alone.
I havent seen ya that mad since Hardy himself conned ya outta that" slight of hand fiver,"easy now"
would yous all wise up and go out to a real 3-D pub. bunch of big jessies
Will there be a telly for the match?
Quote from: Captain Black on September 21, 2012, 09:33:26 PM
would yous all wise up and go out to a real 3-D pub. bunch of big jessies
[/quoteNo.Read the latter part of the title of this thread.Would the venerable Mr Boots please stand up and take charge,this house is goin to rack and ruin.
Ye let the high man go, ye can play none ya hoor ya. (throws cards down)
Another stout there Billy, Im finished with thon.
180 staff sought for new Dublin hotel
Thursday, 21st February 2013 11.35am
The Marker, Dublin's newest luxury design hotel, today launched a recruitment drive to fill 180 jobs across a range of roles.
A variety of positions are available including food and beverage assistants, bartenders, mixologists, chefs, guest service agents, spa therapists and a doorman.
The Marker, which will open on 2nd April, expects to fill all roles before the end of March.
Billy,
The wife wants to know could you get one of them mixologists lads in? I don't know what they do but if it keeps her happy, I'm happy.
Quote from: gerrykeegan on February 21, 2013, 12:10:32 PM
180 staff sought for new Dublin hotel
Thursday, 21st February 2013 11.35am
The Marker, Dublin's newest luxury design hotel, today launched a recruitment drive to fill 180 jobs across a range of roles.
A variety of positions are available including food and beverage assistants, bartenders, mixologists, chefs, guest service agents, spa therapists and a doorman.
The Marker, which will open on 2nd April, expects to fill all roles before the end of March.
Billy,
The wife wants to know could you get one of them mixologists lads in? I don't know what they do but if it keeps her happy, I'm happy.
In my local the highly adept mixologist has mastered the lager dash.
What do you think Gerry? ::)
Billy
The wife says you have to up your game. A lager dash won't cut it. She said something about a maiquiri or a daiquiri. Fcuk knows what they are, its getting too much for me.
Billy it's time you barred that bollixoligist above there.
Here if anyone should be barred its the Yank! Can't understand a word he says. If he says have nice day one more time. Going on about how far he can hit a f**king golf ball, I ask you.
Can i just clarify it is not me on the lager dash. That cocktail belongs to a Cookstown native, and you would wonder how it could cause havoc in a round of 4 or 5 but it does. Time he wised up.
Dia dhuit Billy,
I haven't gone away you know.
A rising pint of stout go raibh maith agat, and er you wouldn't have a couple of nubile female teddies on you by any chance?
There is a bit of a stretch in the evening now, pint and Powers there William when you're finished brushing your hair please.
Mixologist, after what I mixed over the weekend what I need is a toxicologist!!!
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHv9WjIbytg/TYJEohVDjBI/AAAAAAAACjw/7HhRJD3fHlo/s1600/vomit-195.jpeg)
I hope you learned a lesson.......................
Pub owner fined after Irish 'nuns' are caught drinking illegally
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21534215
Piss off home the lot of ye - there's some revenue buck coming to see me tomorrow and me head is melted.
The horse burgers seem to be going well for ya Billy at least you don't have to call them beef burgers anymore like ya used to and while your at it would you throw on another pint of that horse piss that ya serve good man. What time is the Liverpool match on at ?
There's a trough for Crossmolina (and Crossmaglen) people in the yard; kindly use it.
There's a knock on the door Billy must be the revenue will I let them in for you? and by the way bc1 is asleep in the trough .
There's no-one at home ...
I wasssn't sssleeeping, jusss havin a wee rest! That's good grub William,I could horse that in to me neigh problem!!!
It's early so I need to take it easy, just a large Powers please and let the Revenue men in,I have a bit of an edge on me today and might take a cut off them!
Billy I would never look a gift burger in the mouth.
Another porter please.
F*ck off, I'm somewhere else.
Knock-knock.
Quote from: brokencrossbar1 on February 21, 2013, 04:05:49 PM
There is a bit of a stretch in the evening now, pint and Powers there William when you're finished brushing your hair please.
Mixologist, after what I mixed over the weekend what I need is a toxicologist!!!
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHv9WjIbytg/TYJEohVDjBI/AAAAAAAACjw/7HhRJD3fHlo/s1600/vomit-195.jpeg)
Quare tan on you for February. Fancy dan!
Knock knock?
Jeez is this place gone now too?
Between the smoking ban and the revenue there is nowhere a man can have a pint if a Monday night?
Boys a dear I thought this place closed down! Any of the other locals around. I'm just topping up from the early Monday Club celebrating out 127th Armagh championship in a row!! Fair turn in the temperature, time to put a coat on in bed!
Give us a pint a stout and and half 'un my good man......
Margarita with extra salt. Umbrella? Yes.
Quote from: ONeill on May 07, 2016, 10:00:01 PM
Margarita with extra salt. Umbrella? Yes.
Put yer wallet away.....
Banana caramel frappuccinno with an extra twist and a Mojito for the dog please!
I thought there was set dancing on tonight!
No, Whist night.
Whist? Would ye whihst, ya fukin gabshite. Thon D'Arcy might be two ends of a bolax but ye don't talk when thon show is on the picture box.
Some spiv came in earlier lookin food for his children. If Hardy goes down that route we're bucked. Luckily he threw him a lock of nuts.
Right.....way on here.....
Have to take a feed home......
Special A with curry.....
Lock in??
Don't even think about it!
Another round there laddy and be quick about it!!!!
good man yourself- I'll have a pint of stout, and a wee powers while she's settlin'.
No ice jaysus man don't be putting ice in me powers, a wee jug of uisce there good man good man.
Them soccer boys had a great days craic today didn't they?
But more to the point, the Armagh replay- that's to make up for the poor gate at the weekend- who do they think they're kidding with the substitutes melarkey?
I'm worried either Brolly or the Geezer will take a caniption fit at the weekend, be good viewin' that I'll tell ya, be worth watching' the rte player on da phone at half time at the game, if there's anyone there this time.
All the same- no line for the bogs, and the pubs'll be a bit quieter, deadly altogether!
Ah fer fecks sake man- you call that a head? pull me another ya bollocks, ya could have told me it was the first pint of the day, run her through the pipes a bit, aye a bit more, and sure I'll take a wee powers while she's settling, good man, good man.
Give us a pint a stout........and a jameson with a drop of water...