Depression

Started by Eamonnca1, October 25, 2013, 09:11:55 PM

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heffo

Quote from: laoislad on November 30, 2015, 01:33:30 PM
Quote from: magpie seanie on November 30, 2015, 01:20:13 PM
Quote from: laoislad on November 22, 2015, 09:37:22 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.

Stepping up the running this week.....
Good man. I signed up for the  Spar Great Ireland Run 10k there are few minutes ago. Something to aim for with training over the winter. Its not until April but I believe it sells out fast.

The second part of that programme was on last night. Once again it was excellent.
One of the best things RTE have done in a long time. 4 very likeable people and yer man Bressie also came across as a very genuine bloke. If anyone hasn't seen it I would highly recommend watching it on the rte player.
It was difficult to watch at times but also very emotional.
I thought the part where the fella from Mullingar spoke to his parents was great.

Thought both episodes were excellent - like the points above, the four people featured were all very 'normal' - anyone could relate to them.

They were all very brave and inspirational - it's great to see the issue of mental well being getting so much coverage over the last couple of years, hopefully it leads to more people feeling they can talk about things that are bothering them.

I thought Bressie came across very well and a likeable person.

ballinaman

Quote from: heffo on November 30, 2015, 02:04:10 PM
Quote from: laoislad on November 30, 2015, 01:33:30 PM
Quote from: magpie seanie on November 30, 2015, 01:20:13 PM
Quote from: laoislad on November 22, 2015, 09:37:22 PM
Good programme on Rte 2 now about depression and using exercise to combat it.

Stepping up the running this week.....
Good man. I signed up for the  Spar Great Ireland Run 10k there are few minutes ago. Something to aim for with training over the winter. Its not until April but I believe it sells out fast.

The second part of that programme was on last night. Once again it was excellent.
One of the best things RTE have done in a long time. 4 very likeable people and yer man Bressie also came across as a very genuine bloke. If anyone hasn't seen it I would highly recommend watching it on the rte player.
It was difficult to watch at times but also very emotional.
I thought the part where the fella from Mullingar spoke to his parents was great.

Thought both episodes were excellent - like the points above, the four people featured were all very 'normal' - anyone could relate to them.

They were all very brave and inspirational - it's great to see the issue of mental well being getting so much coverage over the last couple of years, hopefully it leads to more people feeling they can talk about things that are bothering them.

I thought Bressie came across very well and a likeable person.
Thought it one of the best shows RTE have produced in a long time.
The tri in blacksod which was on the start of last nights show was no joke, did the run section that day as part of the relay.
Read Bressies book there too...good insight for a person like myself who wouldn't know a whole pile about mental health issues. He seems like a decent chap....which is irritating as the woman is mad about him...the handsome bollox. ;D

AZOffaly

Jesus I had no idea about Maurice Shanahan and his struggle with depression. This is a fairly candid interview. Imagine his sister receiving this text. Luckily he seems to be feeling a lot better these days, and it's great his friends and family have been so strong for him. Best wishes to him.

http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html

seafoid

Quote from: AZOffaly on November 30, 2015, 02:45:12 PM
Jesus I had no idea about Maurice Shanahan and his struggle with depression. This is a fairly candid interview. Imagine his sister receiving this text. Luckily he seems to be feeling a lot better these days, and it's great his friends and family have been so strong for him. Best wishes to him.

http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html
A hard thing to reveal but massively important. And the fact he won an Allstar after everything is inspirational.
"f**k it, just score"- Donaghy   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbxG2WwVRjU

The Iceman

We lost a young man in our parish this weekend. A quiet fella I barely knew who went through Confirmation with us in 2013 before I really got involved with the group. He took his life at 19. A troubled young man who left many lessons to learn from his final note.  I ask you to take the time to read this - he suffered from depression and your sibling, your best friend, your cousin you neighbour could be in the very same miindframe and you haven't checked in, or said hello. RIP

My Last Note
Oh shit does "Final" sound better?
Jared Haman

Dear reader,

    How you came upon this letter doesn't matter much to me. If you're interested in reading it then I certainly can't stop you. However, I ask that you proceed with the understanding that this will be lengthy and poorly written. As it is my final work I am sure you can understand that I am putting a lot of what I have on my mind onto the page and I have no intention of peer review or rough draft iterations. I cannot promise anything at this stage, but I do hope that whatever you end up reading is interesting to you.
    I'm tired. Looking at the world I've built around me I find myself recognizing its shoddy foundations; the only things worth looking at in my world are gifts given to me by those who believed in me, cared for me, loved me in whatever way they did. Currently my life looks nice. It's filled with the good will of family and friends and every day it seems to be built higher and higher on their love. But the foundations: they will not hold. This lovingly crafted existence that I call my life and my home is entirely undeserved. None of it is mine and none of it has been won by my own hand. I may be dense and dumb at times but I am not an idiot. I know what happens to people whose lives are built on the love of others and not their own. That life is something I do not want, and I can see it before me. I can feel the foundations shaking.
    Anyone who has spent more than a passing conversation with me knows I am an intensely stubborn, pompous, and proud person. At times I try to hide it behind a meek exterior, but I know who I am on the inside and I relish it. Those around me have often debated whether these are virtues or vices, and honestly I have seen both sides. In the right hands pride and tenacity are tools without equal. They can lead to great things and great people, changing reality around their masters with sheer force of will. But that is where I fall short. I have no will left in me. No desire or drive to change my life or do anything really. To be honest, writing this and what comes after are the first things I've had any will to do in weeks. It would be unfair to say this is a new problem though. I've been this way as long as I can remember. Time after time I have rejected every opportunity for success presented to me by those who cared for me. I was too proud. Too stubborn. I would make my own path. Time passed and nothing changed until the very last second before my shaky foundation would fall apart. At the eleventh hour I would fight with all my energy, lie, cheat, bombard closed doors around me until I stole into an opportunity that by all rights should not have existed. It was unsustainable, reckless, and put strain on all those around me. I barely scraped by not because it was hard, not because the world was against me, but because I was against myself.
    Perhaps it was this recognition of my own shortcomings that changed me. Maybe it was as far back as middle school. Truthfully I cannot recall much of my life anymore. I only know who I am now and the things I, the me of now, have done. Throughout this repeated cycle of  mistakes and trusting in my own strength rather than anything else around me, I found that there were still those around me who cared about me even knowing how much I had fucked up. On a certain level I suppose this was comforting, and perhaps if I had treated it that way I might have turned out more well adapted, but I didn't. I grew to resent those who stuck with me through the hard times. I hated being cared for unconditionally by those around me because it reminded me of what a shitty person I was. I didn't deserve this and, at the time, I thought I didn't want it either. I isolated myself: alienated everyone who loved me in any way whatsoever. Time after time I would leave those I cared about behind. I would myself from friend after friend, always finding ways to avoid spending time with them or going out with them or even just texting back. Communities too I would leave behind trying to avoid what beginning to feel too much like home: any place that accepted me too well and I grew too fond of was left behind to spare me the trouble. I continued to do this for years, even after graduation, to anyone who got too friendly: to anyone I grew to care for myself. All but once.
    The saying goes something like "recognizing your problems is the first step to solving them" or something like that. I don't know. This isn't being graded on MLA citations. The thing is, I don't want to change. I'm not happy, sure, but I'm not depressed either. I'm just empty. I'm content and it drives me nuts. Even after throwing away a private education, all my friends, and my college education, I just don't f**king care. This is an odd thing to put here and an odd thing to say in general, but I feel like I never cry. Sure, my eyes well up every once in awhile when something traumatic happens or I get emotionally attached, but I never break down and cry like I feel I should. Like the people I care about do. I never wept a single tear for my uncle or grandfather. I don't think I even missed a minute of sleep. I was sad, but it never broke me. I'm so detached that I don't really understand it anymore. I'm content with my life right now even after throwing away or losing everything I thought was important to me. And that drives me insane because I know the only thing holding me up is the love others have given to me. I know I would need to change to be happy. I even know the changes I would need to make to be happy. I just have no will to change.
    I could make some stupid ass paragraph about how I'm doing this because I don't want to hurt people or I don't want to be a burden, but that's not true. I know I'm being selfish and I know that this is because I can't deal with myself. But that doesn't mean I don't care. I really do, I just want to be happy too. And I know what I would have to do to make that work but I don't want to make those choices. It's not even hard. I'm just lazy. And I'm okay with that. So I guess this is just my way of alienating myself from the guilt and the love and the happiness permanently. Honestly nobody in my life has ever done me any wrong or harm. I can think of negative memories, sure, but nobody has ever done anything to make me dislike them. Not in any deserved way anyhow. Anyone who ever even smiled for me did more than enough to make a difference for everyone around them. But this isn't about anyone else. This is about me and I have to face that.
    Mom, Dad, Justin. I love you. I feel like I should apologize but I hate apologizing for things I know I am going to do anyways. You are the best family anyone can ask for and I want you to know that you raised me right. Don't let anyone take that away from you just because of a decision your son made. I want you to know I've been thinking about you a lot the time I've been seriously contemplating this and I understand the pain I am inflicting on you by doing this. You have every right to be upset with me, and I have no right to ask this of you, but please don't hate me for this. You know how stubborn I am so I hope you understand why I never brought this up.
    I know pompous suicide speeches like these classically end with curses on enemies, but I don't really have any of those so I'll end with a blessing instead. I wish you all the very best in your lives: happiness, ambition, success, belonging. Don't make the choices that led me here. It's not a very fun place even if you're a coward like I am. Don't rely on the love of others. We all have hearts to give. To love is to be vulnerable. It hurts but hey, the only person that can hurt you is yourself. Anyways you're probably tired of reading a reflection by a hypocrite, and honestly I'm sort of hating how this thing reads. It's really hard to express feeling sometimes, y'know? I wish you all the best.

TL;DR - I'm an asshole who refuses to change, and it's killing me, so I'm isolating myself from myself.

"Into what dangers would you lead me, Cassius,
That you would have me seek into myself
For that which is not in me?"

"Caesar now be still: I kill'd not thee with half so good a will."

Goodnight,
Jared Daniel Haman
I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight

muppet

F*ck me that is a hard read. But well worth taking the time.

Thanks for posting it Iceman.
MWWSI 2017

blewuporstuffed

Quote from: seafoid on November 30, 2015, 02:52:26 PM
Quote from: AZOffaly on November 30, 2015, 02:45:12 PM
Jesus I had no idea about Maurice Shanahan and his struggle with depression. This is a fairly candid interview. Imagine his sister receiving this text. Luckily he seems to be feeling a lot better these days, and it's great his friends and family have been so strong for him. Best wishes to him.

http://www.independent.ie/sport/gaelic-games/hurling/i-went-out-for-a-walk-and-the-whole-of-lismore-were-out-looking-for-me-gaa-star-maurice-shanahan-on-suicidal-thoughts-34245617.html
A hard thing to reveal but massively important. And the fact he won an Allstar after everything is inspirational.

you can listen to his interview here

https://soundcloud.com/wlrfmwaterford/maurice-shanahan-on-wlr-fm
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either

seafoid

A book that is very good for changing depressive thinking patterns is "Overcoming Depression" by Paul Gilbert. It goes in depth into how depression works and how to fight it.
"f**k it, just score"- Donaghy   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbxG2WwVRjU

DennistheMenace

Bumping this thread.

Such a terrible silent illness.

seafoid

Very sad suicide at home 2 weeks ago. When you think it could have been treated.

A friend of mine lost her sister 16 years ago. Now her baby brother has 3 kids. They will never know their aunt .
Carlow had a mental health slogan on the jersey.  There is one in Dublin airport. "Suicide awareness. Living is winning".
"f**k it, just score"- Donaghy   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbxG2WwVRjU

DennistheMenace

I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.

seafoid

Quote from: DennistheMenace on February 08, 2016, 09:36:06 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time
"f**k it, just score"- Donaghy   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbxG2WwVRjU

johnneycool

Quote from: seafoid on February 08, 2016, 11:01:28 AM
Quote from: DennistheMenace on February 08, 2016, 09:36:06 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.

NAG1

Quote from: johnneycool on February 08, 2016, 11:05:02 AM
Quote from: seafoid on February 08, 2016, 11:01:28 AM
Quote from: DennistheMenace on February 08, 2016, 09:36:06 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.

In what context JC? To me its looks like apples and oranges.

johnneycool

Quote from: NAG1 on February 08, 2016, 11:11:45 AM
Quote from: johnneycool on February 08, 2016, 11:05:02 AM
Quote from: seafoid on February 08, 2016, 11:01:28 AM
Quote from: DennistheMenace on February 08, 2016, 09:36:06 AM
I read that since the Good Friday Agreement more people have died from suicide than the troubles.

More needs to be done.
saw that too. More dead in less time

Does put the issue in context, but there was plenty of suicides during the troubles as well.

In what context JC? To me its looks like apples and oranges.

The 2K odd deaths of the troubles are much lamented and rightly so, but the deaths from suicide are very much brushed under the carpet up until very recently.
There'll be nothing done on suicide and mental illness until its highlighted and put into black and white for people to comprehend.