Engagement ring for proposing abroad

[BrotherMore6592]

Hi all,

I am heading abroad next month with my girlfriend when we'll be 4 years together.

I went into our local jeweller today by myself (up north) and they were very helpful.

I had a picture of 2 rings she tried on at Xmas in a jewellers abroad, we went in messing around then but she genuinely liked the style of those two.

the jeweller matched something similar - I have a picture of 6 rings in the local shop now.

they range in price from £1500 pounds sterling to £5K sterling.

- honestly what do people generally spend? Neither of us are 30 yet, but we have our own home. So I can't afford the ring in the £3,000+ range. I earn well enough but I generally don't do big purchases or live an extravagant life. However I realise this is for life.


im a bit lost - I need to find out her ring size, whether she definitely wants gold banding or silver / platinum.


do people generally buy it outright or on credit?

I've also heard of people bringing "dress rings" or placeholder rings when the proposal is abroad.



im not sure what to do. I suppose the real question I'm most concerned about is what's the general budget? I don't want to spend too little but also not too much, after all I'll expect she'll be sending her friends and family pictures of it when we're abroad, as I'm doing it at the start of the holiday!



I have no idea about the whole carat thing, the jeweller explained some of it to me and the gradings etc. they were Hatton garden rings from London.



thank you in advance, all help appreciated!

[Turf]

You don't need a ring to propose imo. Ask her first(and if she says yes
) then bring her with you to pick out a ring she wants.
Then the sensible thing to do is obviously buy something you can afford.
Never understood this notion you have spend x times your monthly salary or whatever it is.
To me anyway 5k on a ring is ridiculous money. I doubt many could tell the difference between a €500 and a €5000 anyway.
Each to their own of course and some women are very high maintenance though I'd hate to be with someone who made me spend that much if I couldn't afford or want to spend that much on a ring.

[RedHand88]

I spent £1500 in 2018, but by that stage we were on the housing ladder and that. Style is more important than the price, unless she's unbelievably materialistic.

Not sure about prices in 2022 but spending 5k sounds ludicrous!
With regards size, bring some of her rings to the shop and they can size them. If it turns out its not an exact fit, that can be changed so don't panic.
Make sure it's insured! You can get it added to house insurance by telling them, this will be cheaper than the insurance they try to sell you in the ring shop.

State of this board these days. Lads talking about rings.....

Good luck!

[laoislad]

Can't remember what I spent on it, wasn't a fortune but was expensive enough, maybe €1500 which in itself is ridiculous money for something so small. Imagine the amount of running shoes I could have bought for that money like 
I agree you don't need a ring to propose, I didn't. Just asked her and she then went and picked out a ring she liked.

Off topic of engagement rings but I haven't a clue where my wedding ring is, took it off when we got back from honeymoon and never put it on since.

[brokencrossbar1]

Don't buy it without her. Get the dress ring if you need to but if you're still investing money of any level I would do it with her. She will have to wear it, hopefully all her life, so she will really need to like it. Spend what you are comfortable with and don't feel pressured

[gawa316]

I got the would-be brother-in-law to bring over a ring her Grandmother had left her in her will...everyone's a winner!

Although my wee shit of firstborn flushed it down the bog one day and it has never been seen again!

[David McKeown]

I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring.  She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her.  Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months

[RedHand88]

I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring.  She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her.  Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months

You won't make that mistake again.

[Turf]

I made the mistake of letting her pick the ring.  She ended up picking one that was double my budget and then nothing else would do for her.  Ended up delaying the engagement by about 8 months

More fool you for agreeing to that.

[An Watcher]

Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned

[Tony Baloney]

Spending x times your salary was a marketing campaign from de Beers about 100 years ago so forget about that shite. Spend what you can afford BUT it will need to be a reasonable size so spend wisely. She may not judge you but her mates will 

I bought a ring in advance for the proposal and carted it all round NYC waiting for the right moment and hoping I didn't get mugged. I was relieved to get it over with for more than one reason. I had enough info on style and size so it was low risk on my part but if you're not 100% sure of the size I'd do the deed with a placeholder ring and then let her pick one at home.

Budgets aren't very romantic but if she's the one for you she'll not want you overspending. If I were you I'd go into the jewellers and get their advice on some of the price options of the style she likes and then hunt about elsewhere to see if you can get similar for cheaper or a bigger stone for same money.

The brother in law is a farmer so he knows a thing about value for money and he went to one of the diamond wholesale places in Belfast and got a chunky enough ring for a lot less than the likes of Lunns. After the deed is done take her to the place you have chosen and say "what about this one". Easy! 

[TwoUpTwoDown]

Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned

Took the jump on the eternity ring there recently...just to confirm there'll be no more children being added to the crew! Went for a lab made diamond and they were a Godsend. All top quality and a fraction of the price.

I know for my next engagement ill be looking solely at lab made diamonds 

[laoislad]

Wait til ye hear eternity ring mentioned

What is that and when will I have her bothering me looking for one?

[Rudi]

Youse northern lads are as tight as a ducks arse. It's a wonder youse dont just buy the missus a brack at Halloween.

Anyway I went to the States many moons ago with the mrs purposed beside a waterfall on the JM trail. No ring, most women want to pick their own & finger size is a huge issue, even if your right your wrong.

[Aristo 60]

Don't buy the ring until after she says yes. Land her to the jewellers and tell her you've got £X to spend. If she picks one that is anything up to 80% of £x you will have a happy life. If she wants something at 90 - 110% of £x be cautious, she may not be the woman for you. If she wants something more than 120% of £X walk away (and I'm not talking about the shop) 

However if she wants something much more than £x and is prepared to contribute like Beyonce "I bought it" etc then let her tear away!