Gary Speed RIP

[Tyrones own]

Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language.  Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.

I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.

Yes Myles and while chastising here for the use of the word selfish, a view widely held due to lack of
understanding imo ... explain how you would know that they feel they are doing the world and their families a favour 

[pintsofguinness]

Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language.  Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.

I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.

Yes Myles and while chastising here for the use of the word selfish, a view widely held due to lack of
understanding imo ... explain how you would know that they feel they are doing the world and their families a favour 

Well I know someone who suffered (and still does) quite badly with depression and when first admitting to his thoughts about committing suicide that's exactly what he use to say.  In fact, he use to say he was selfish by carrying on with life because he was such a burden on the family.  They would be better without him, he'd be doing them a favour etc
It was then I stopped thinking suicide was selfish.

[BennyHarp]

Slightly off topic, I wouldnt for one minute call the actions of anyone commnitting suicide as being selfish but I have to say that it is very unfortuate when their actions cause severe repercussions for a third party. There is a bridge called Scammondon Bridge which crosses the M62 between Leeds and Manchester (nicknamed suicide bridge) and a colleague i used to work with was driving along when a body of a man fell to the ground in front of her and she ran over him in her car. The man died and the impact this had on that poor woman was immense. She was a very friendly, outgoing individual but became very reclusive and took a few weeks off work, which became a few more until eventually we found out that she wasnt coping very well and wouldnt be returning. Her marriage has since broken down and I would really fear for her long term well being. Like i said, i would never say the actions of a suicide victim are selfish but in this case it may have claimed another victim.

[tbrick18]

Selfish is a very offensive term to use with regard to suicide. Many of these people figure they are doing the world and their families a favour by killing themselves. I would refrain from using such language.  Proper research and funding needs to be put in place for this scourge in society which seems to me to be getting worse.

I know of a case in sligo last yr which was the most horrendous I ever came across. A woman whose husband died of a heart attack a few months previous, leaving 3 kids all under 15, went out and hung herself. Her youngest found her, the kids now live with a relative. There is no explaining this in normal logic, the mind is just badly damaged and can't function as it should. How else can you look at such a thing.

Yes Myles and while chastising here for the use of the word selfish, a view widely held due to lack of
understanding imo ... explain how you would know that they feel they are doing the world and their families a favour 

Well I know someone who suffered (and still does) quite badly with depression and when first admitting to his thoughts about committing suicide that's exactly what he use to say.  In fact, he use to say he was selfish by carrying on with life because he was such a burden on the family.  They would be better without him, he'd be doing them a favour etc
It was then I stopped thinking suicide was selfish.

100% correct there POG. A very close family member of mine has struggled for quite a few years now and this is exactly what they say. In their mind they are a burden to everyone around them, they are worthless, they are causing everyone else undue heartache and everyone would be happier if this person was dead. They don't want to die, but they don't want to continue the way they are and they cant see another option. This is what their mind tells them and they believe it as strongly as you or I would believe that the sky is blue. No amount of re-assurance will change their mind in the same way that you couldnt convince me that the sky is green. Only professional treatment can make a difference, which may be medication, CBT, ECT or all of these techniques. I've unfortunately been in the position of having first hand experience of this but luckily have come out the right side of it for now, but it's an ongoing challenge for the person who is suffering and one day to the next is unpredictable.
It's not a selfish act, it's a medical problem that requires a very specialised understanding and treatment in much the same way as Cancer or any other life threatening illness. What I am told is that although no-one can definitively say what causes mental health problem, that people who suffer from depression have certain chemical imbalances in their brain. The medication attempts to re-align those chemical balances. But every person reacts differently to different medications and the dosage is not determined by age/weight or any other physical feature so getting the right treatment is very difficult.
There is a lack of understanding in general on mental health problems - I dont know how that can be addressed though.
What happened to Gary Speed and his family is tragic and sad. His wife and kids will struggle to cope in the aftermath but unfortunately this is an all too common daily event. Perhaps his high profile will raise awareness of this disease and maybe some good can come off it if it helps prevent further suicides.

RIP Gary Speed.

[thejuice]

"My experience of talking to people in distress is that they tell others – even their closest – only a proportion of what bothers them while being simultaneously unaware of all that bothers them."

"We should recall that it's difficult to know a mind that does not know itself."


Phillip Hodson, Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

[Clown]

there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.

very strange

[Doogie Browser]

RIP Gary Speed, a tragic loss, very few players are respected by the fans of every club they had played for, that speaks volumes about him.

[SLIGONIAN]

"My experience of talking to people in distress is that they tell others – even their closest – only a proportion of what bothers them while being simultaneously unaware of all that bothers them."

"We should recall that it's difficult to know a mind that does not know itself."


Phillip Hodson, Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

Totally agree with that, how many people are actually aware of how there mind works?

[seafoid]

there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.

very strange

What would his agent know? Maybe he hid it well. 

[Two Hands FFS]

there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.

very strange

What would his agent know? Maybe he hid it well.

A bit harsh...his agent was also his best man at his wedding

[haranguerer]

there was never one hint or sign of one single bout of depression from Speed his agent has said.

very strange

What would his agent know? Maybe he hid it well.

I know some lads who say you could see it in his eyes in photos taken the day before 

Great player, and great person by all accounts. The good that it will do is lessen the stigma of depression - his death shows it can affect anyone.

I always thought the NI ad about depression is a great one -  the lad joking and being the centre of the craic with his mates then taking off his 'happy' mask when they left- seems very accurate to me-noone can know what anyone is going through

[sammymaguire]

See the rumours now that big Duncan Ferguson is the father to Gary Speed's 2nd child...

just google duncan ferguson / gary speed and you'll see for yourselves... shocker!

[Hashtag]

See the rumours now that big Duncan Ferguson is the father to Gary Speed's 2nd child...

just google duncan ferguson / gary speed and you'll see for yourselves... shocker!

Seen that on Twitter this morning. Shocking if true. A terrible rumour if not.