Forgiveness

[IolarCoisCuain]

I'm very impressed by the tolerance shown over on the Mickey Harte RTÉ boycott thread. A lot of people seem to think it's time for Mickey to move on and do interviews with RTÉ. Indignation has a sell-by date, as Syferus pithily put it.

One of the reasons I'm so impressed by this is that I personally am a bitter man, from a line of bitter men. If my family were of noble rather than peasant stock, a lemon would feature prominently on our coat of arms. This ability to forgive and move on has really got home to me how shallow my life is, and my own lack of emotional maturity.

It's got home to me so much that I encourage all those who have been healed by time, whose indignation has passed its sell-by date, who are now mellow and useful members of society again, to share their experience. What was the biggest thing that happened to you and you got over? Your wife having an affair, perhaps? You were annoyed but look, time heals and maybe it was partly due your own selfish neglect of that good woman. Or maybe you lost a packet in the property market at the time of the crash ten years ago but looking back now you think: it's only money. Don't we have our health? Isn't that the most important thing?

Or maybe your daughter was murdered on her honeymoon and someone took the piss out of her on the national airwaves isn't very remorseful at all. You know, whatevs.

Away you go, friends.

[Syferus]

Did you really have to make another thread just to post the text equivlent of a lip quivering sermon? That's some ego ya got there, buddy.

[trileacman]

Most people hold onto their bitterness like its gold. Take Syferus for example, he called the Roscommon tanking by Tyrone the "grudge match of the year" due to some menial defeat Ros u-21s suffered years ago. Someone forgot to tell the Rossie players unfortunately.

[Owen Brannigan]

I posted on the Harte RTE thread that I am like Harte in that I haven't forgiven those who have wronged me and I don't forget what was done to me and/or mine, however, I have been able to set it aside and get on with my life.

I have been wronged in the past and it has resulted in a severe affect on my health which led to me having to leave my work.  I don't forgive any of those responsible in any way for this situation, I don't forget what they have done but I have set it aside and moved on with the rest of my life.

This may be unchristian by me and potentially damaging to my mental health but I have no difficulties with this. I feel I am now mentally stronger than before having emerged from extremely difficult and challenging times in a toxic environment where I probably stayed too long and allowed my health to be permanently damaged.

[Dougal Maguire]

Most people hold onto their bitterness like its gold. Take Syferus for example, he called the Roscommon tanking by Tyrone the "grudge match of the year" due to some menial defeat Ros u-21s suffered years ago. Someone forgot to tell the Rossie players unfortunately.

Excellent.

[Itchy]

I posted on the Harte RTE thread that I am like Harte in that I haven't forgiven those who have wronged me and I don't forget what was done to me and/or mine, however, I have been able to set it aside and get on with my life.

I have been wronged in the past and it has resulted in a severe affect on my health which led to me having to leave my work.  I don't forgive any of those responsible in any way for this situation, I don't forget what they have done but I have set it aside and moved on with the rest of my life.

This may be unchristian by me and potentially damaging to my mental health but I have no difficulties with this. I feel I am now mentally stronger than before having emerged from extremely difficult and challenging times in a toxic environment where I probably stayed too long and allowed my health to be permanently damaged.

I'm bit like that but I do have room for a sincere and heartfelt apology from someone who wronged me. But let's be honest that is rare. Ive had so called friends wrong me and my attitude is duck them, I no longer bother with them. I believe in karma and people generally get what's coming to them.

I don't particularly like Harte but he was wronged and in his position I wouldn't be accepting an apology easily. We are taking about a murdered daughter in her honeymoon.

[Puckoon]

I pity those who don't have the ability to forgive. I'd rather have hemorrhoids than not be able to forgive.

Everyone gets fucked over somewhere along the line. Deal with it.

Obviously I've no context in the face of the murder of a child, but in general usual lifenterms related to love/marriage/employment/betrayal - Get. Over. it.

[Owen Brannigan]

I posted on the Harte RTE thread that I am like Harte in that I haven't forgiven those who have wronged me and I don't forget what was done to me and/or mine, however, I have been able to set it aside and get on with my life.

I have been wronged in the past and it has resulted in a severe affect on my health which led to me having to leave my work.  I don't forgive any of those responsible in any way for this situation, I don't forget what they have done but I have set it aside and moved on with the rest of my life.

This may be unchristian by me and potentially damaging to my mental health but I have no difficulties with this. I feel I am now mentally stronger than before having emerged from extremely difficult and challenging times in a toxic environment where I probably stayed too long and allowed my health to be permanently damaged.

I'm bit like that but I do have room for a sincere and heartfelt apology from someone who wronged me. But let's be honest that is rare. Ive had so called friends wrong me and my attitude is duck them, I no longer bother with them. I believe in karma and people generally get what's coming to them.

I don't particularly like Harte but he was wronged and in his position I wouldn't be accepting an apology easily. We are taking about a murdered daughter in her honeymoon.

+1

[Farrandeelin]

Also agree with you Itchy and Owen. Particularly your first paragraph where you state not being able to forgive or forget. Even thinking back on past events gives me ire. But I also can get on with my life too.

[TheClubman]

Forgiving is one thing. And I'd guess as a man of faith Harte has forgiven those who have wronged him. However - it doesn't mean he has to forget about it and partake in and assist their business. Forgiveness doesn't imply you have to befriend the person you forgive.

Personally - I'd always be more wary of people who have done me wrong in the past. A few in particular, while I'd wish them no ill will, I'd be quite happy if I never laid eyes on them or had to speak to them again. I think that's a quite reasonable position no matter what you believe.

[spuds]

Personally - I'd always be more wary of people who have done me wrong in the past. A few in particular, while I'd wish them no ill will, I'd be quite happy if I never laid eyes on them or had to speak to them again. I think that's a quite reasonable position no matter what you believe.

Agreed. Forgiven not forgotten.

[Owen Brannigan]

I pity those who don't have the ability to forgive. I'd rather have hemorrhoids than not be able to forgive.

Everyone gets fucked over somewhere along the line. Deal with it.

Obviously I've no context in the face of the murder of a child, but in general usual lifenterms related to love/marriage/employment/betrayal - Get. Over. it.

Yes deal with it.  For me and I believe others, 'dealing with it' is not forgiving the offenders or forgetting what they have done but setting it aside and getting on with life, not allowing the matter to become a barrier to my life.

"Getting over it" as you suggest does not have to mean providing forgiveness or just forgetting about any offence.

The idea of forgiving those who have wronged you is a concept based in Christian teaching but like many aspects of this teaching we can take it or leave it, it is not an indisputable construct.

Just like Itchy, I believe in Karma, that those who have offended/hurt/damaged me will at some stage get their comeuppance to some extent. My experience in life to date has been that this is normally the case.

[Puckoon]

I guess I feel that the weight of being wronged will bring me down before it will hanging around the neck of those who wronged me. Plus I may be oblivious to those who have perceived that I have wronged them. Forgiveness seems to me, to be the best path.

Like Don Henley - I'm trying to get down, to the heart of the matter.

[armaghniac]

As noted on the other thread, the media boycott isn't doing Tyrone much harm, they are under no obligation to facilitate RTÉ's business. You just have to be careful to keep your own interests in mind, and suit yourself in this situation.

[Milltown Row2]

You don't have to forgive someone for bringing you pain, but if you hold a grudge then you are holding on to something that will fester, that couldnt be good for you. If someone were to bring pain or suffering to me or my family I'd probably have to deal with it at the time and move on, circumstances may be different depending on who has done it and why they did it?

Has the person fallen on hard times and felt that this was their only way of getting out of a hole (if someone stole from you or conned you) or has the relationship broke down and for whatever reasons and that person has left you for someone else, I'd asked the question, did I try and make it work or did I just not bother? 

As for anyone fostering hate over a discussion board, they need to take a good long look at themselves and wise the fcuk up 

You are on this planet for a very small time, work to live and enjoy each day, as for someone doing you wrong well they generally get whats coming to them as they don't change to often and it catches up with them at some point.. call it Karma if you like but its just the law of averages, you can't expect to be a cnut and get away with it all the time