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Messages - paddyjohn

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1
Antrim / Re: ANTRIM HURLING
« on: June 15, 2018, 10:16:35 AM »
i think too many people are concentrating on the negatives rather than taking the positives and building on them.

a few years ago we would of been tanked by Galway, Dublin etc in the league. Now we are moaning about narrow defeats to teams like this? to be honest i think we have made good progress in the league and the Joe McDonagh Cup. yes we had 3 disappointing defeats but the teams we lost to would of been disappointed to lose to us as well!

thats the flip side to this. we are not in a position to be assuming that losing to teams the same level as ourselves is a low or a failure of some sort.

off the pitch SV has now got antrim into a good financial state and they are bringing in money and investment to the background, on the pitch it will take the same time to get it right as well. its time to show a bit of faith in people who want the job and have a passion for the county rather than just look for a scapegoat each time it doesn't work.

I've said it before and I'l say it again, you're never far off the mark at all.

2
Antrim / Re: Antrim Football Thread
« on: June 14, 2018, 11:25:27 AM »
It's a thankless task. Some clubs have only 1 pitch and take into consideration that clubs offer Football, Hurling, Camogie & Ladies Football from Un8 right up to senior, only so many hours in the day and days of the week.

3
General discussion / Re: Weather
« on: June 14, 2018, 09:47:22 AM »
Any sign of Hector?

Poor enough up the north coast here. V Windy and rainy

Rain will keep the dust down😜

Yip! Least the turf is home dry lol ;)

4
General discussion / Re: Weather
« on: June 13, 2018, 09:24:23 PM »
Any sign of Hector?

Poor enough up the north coast here. V Windy and rainy

5
General discussion / Re: Depression
« on: June 13, 2018, 09:23:34 PM »
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(

Admitting it is the hardest thing to do, the lad needs a decent support from family members to help him instead of talking about doctors controlling him. There is very little you can as he might think you are sticking your nose in.

Exactly. Genuinely a bit worried about the fella.

Rois he wouldn't really. To be honest i said to our manager that i could see bad signs and we talked about it. Won't accept help at all and is now thinking about leaving when that manager always gave him leeway whereas somewhere else may not. He has just bought a house so has a mortgage too and i am not convinced that extra responsibility will be good for him.

The financial side of life is a complete bastid for people. Iíd say 75% of the rows with the wife are money related, sometimes the pressure is serious. We are lucky we have a decent group of mates who donít care what kinda money we have or the holidays that we go on.

Sounds like youíve done all you can and more. Itís hard to watch a work colleague going through a hard time.

This is a good thread folks, restores my faith in life. 👍

6
Antrim / Re: Antrim Football Thread
« on: June 13, 2018, 09:17:14 PM »
I asked a member of the county fixtures about it last season and he told me that it was they could fit them in, taking both codes into account, availability of refs and other commitments. Itís not an easy task Iíd say, one that I wouldnít want to be honest.

7
General discussion / Re: Depression
« on: June 13, 2018, 09:55:23 AM »
That wonít last forever. Theyíll be holding daddyís hand intermittently between now and 9/10.

Itís a lovely physical connection and it can lift your spirits with the slightest of touch.

I share custody of my daughter with her Mum and to be honest I donít know where I fit on the mental health scale but I know Iím pass remarkably happier when sheís under my roof and when weíre engaging with each other. Sheís 10 now and starting to assert herself and push the boundaries. There have hands down been times when sheís my sole reason for everything. A great comfort.

Best of luck and keep talking and enjoy those moments of connection with your kids when you get them.

The last few weeks have been good as I've almost felt guilty for blaming them, when it turn it was my own shortcomings that didn't get me the job so I've been spoiling them. The comfort I get from them is second to none.

I remember a wise man saying to me years ago that when you have kids your life is like a large jar of marbles and that each opportunity to do something with them meant taking a marble out that you could never put back. When I look back now I feel that I was selfish with my time, and feel very guilty. However when I talk to my kids they don't feel that I was selfish .....I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy every minute with them. I would love to have that time again.

I've never heard that before but its very true. Yeah I've alot to be thankful for.

8
General discussion / Re: Depression
« on: June 13, 2018, 08:59:17 AM »
There's a boy i now work with who i've known years and would now be very concerned about his mental health.

I think he is depressed but also thinks everyone is out to get him so he won't actually admit anything or get any help as he thinks doctors will put him on medication and his dad , who struggles too, has told him if he goes to a doctor they will "try and control him".

At the very least this thread is good because people are talking about it or admitting they have an issue but this fella won't at all :(

Admitting it is the hardest thing to do, the lad needs a decent support from family members to help him instead of talking about doctors controlling him. There is very little you can as he might think you are sticking your nose in.

9
General discussion / Re: Depression
« on: June 13, 2018, 08:54:37 AM »
That wonít last forever. Theyíll be holding daddyís hand intermittently between now and 9/10.

Itís a lovely physical connection and it can lift your spirits with the slightest of touch.

I share custody of my daughter with her Mum and to be honest I donít know where I fit on the mental health scale but I know Iím pass remarkably happier when sheís under my roof and when weíre engaging with each other. Sheís 10 now and starting to assert herself and push the boundaries. There have hands down been times when sheís my sole reason for everything. A great comfort.

Best of luck and keep talking and enjoy those moments of connection with your kids when you get them.

The last few weeks have been good as I've almost felt guilty for blaming them, when it turn it was my own shortcomings that didn't get me the job so I've been spoiling them. The comfort I get from them is second to none.

10
General discussion / Re: Depression
« on: June 12, 2018, 10:36:35 PM »
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.

I can absolutely relate.

About eight years ago friend once organized a singles meetup dinner thing in a nearby city, mainly for my benefit because she knew I wasn't well and needed a bit of company in my life. I was nervous but drove there anyway. When I got to the restaurant there were about ten other fellas and eleven women, all single and ready to mingle. I felt the anxiety building. They were making the seating arrangements at a big long table and I just felt a wave of terror wash over me. I went to the restroom and hid for a while, then came back out and made my apologies to my friend, saying "I see you're a bit short of seats, I don't mind leaving." I got back in my car and cried on my way home, then texted my friend saying "I'm really sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I felt awful because she'd gone to a lot of trouble, but she was very understanding. It's always okay to talk about it.

And because in your own head you feel youíve let her down so everything becomes really bad again. Iíve have that feeling before to. The process of thinking logically doesnít exsist. Iím sure your friend didnít mind but you couldnít see that.

I had a bit of downer 3 weeks ago, went for a promotion at work and didnít get it. World fell apart for 2 days. I couldnít see anyway how I could continue to work with these people, paranoia set in and instead of being thankful that I have a wife & 2 beautiful kids, I was cursing them up and down for being part of the reason I didnít get the job. Thankfully I started to think straight and things settled quite quickly for me. I had a chat with the local parish priest and although itís not everybodyís cup of tea, Iíve found myself praying a lot more now than I ever did. I suppose it is a form of release aswell.

It's very important to talk....doesn't matter who to just so long as you talk....it is a form of release, and as for prayer....never knew it to harm anyone. Enjoy your kids....blink of an eye until they fly the nest. Best of luck👍

Yip, talking is the key to it all. They are already to big to hold Daddies hand in their way to nursery and P1 lol

Cheers pal.. 👍👍

11
General discussion / Re: Depression
« on: June 12, 2018, 08:06:18 PM »
I lost my best friend to suicide on the 19th March 2001 and buried my father on New Years Day 2002. Inside 9 months I went from a young cocky 20 year old to being complete mess. Depression was something that never entered my head, in my head I was mourning, it was normal. Then bang on Paddys day 2002, I didn't know but a few of my friends had arranged to come lift me and we were for the local to watch the club finals, they wanted to suprise me so I couldn't back out, as I took my first step out of the house, I froze, I couldn't do it. I made an excuse and went back to bed, cold sweats started and I cried into my pillow, again I told myself that I was mourning. One of my mates had rung a girl who I had been seeing before my fathers passing, he told her what had happened and she sent me a text out of the blue a few days later about having a chat, she was a trainee nurse who had spotted the signs after my best mate died the previous year. I met her for a chat a few days later, she told me what she had thought and how my behaviour had changed throughout 2001 and thats why our relationship had ended in her opinion. She accompanied me to see a doctor who diagnosed me with depression. I was scared and to be honest I was embarrassed but at the same time I felt like my world had changed, I could think clear again, I could look people in the eye without fear of bursting into tears when they asked about me or my family. I spoke to my family and told them what had happened and how I had been feeling, they knew what was happening and only then did it strike me that I was never alone, everywhere I went there was one of them with me, they were scared that I was going to do the same as my best mate but didn't want to say it straight out. Thankfully after a few months of spilling my thoughts out to the doctor, I had got myself sorted and could live again. There has been dark days since but I'm a better place to deal with them.   

Sorry for the long post but even though its been 16 years I still feel like pressure is being released with every letter I type in this post. I told my story to a youth team within my club recently and one of the young lads came to me after and asked if he could speak to me, he was going through the same as he buried his Dad last September. The manager is good friend of mine and asked if I'd speak to them group about mental health and how its ok not to be ok. The lads mother rung me a few weeks ago to thank me for the effort I've put in with him. I'm not saying that I'm an expert or looking praise but if I can help one person then I've achieved something.

Have a word with somebody folks, no matter how trivial you think it is, you need to talk.

I can absolutely relate.

About eight years ago friend once organized a singles meetup dinner thing in a nearby city, mainly for my benefit because she knew I wasn't well and needed a bit of company in my life. I was nervous but drove there anyway. When I got to the restaurant there were about ten other fellas and eleven women, all single and ready to mingle. I felt the anxiety building. They were making the seating arrangements at a big long table and I just felt a wave of terror wash over me. I went to the restroom and hid for a while, then came back out and made my apologies to my friend, saying "I see you're a bit short of seats, I don't mind leaving." I got back in my car and cried on my way home, then texted my friend saying "I'm really sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I felt awful because she'd gone to a lot of trouble, but she was very understanding. It's always okay to talk about it.

And because in your own head you feel youíve let her down so everything becomes really bad again. Iíve have that feeling before to. The process of thinking logically doesnít exsist. Iím sure your friend didnít mind but you couldnít see that.

I had a bit of downer 3 weeks ago, went for a promotion at work and didnít get it. World fell apart for 2 days. I couldnít see anyway how I could continue to work with these people, paranoia set in and instead of being thankful that I have a wife & 2 beautiful kids, I was cursing them up and down for being part of the reason I didnít get the job. Thankfully I started to think straight and things settled quite quickly for me. I had a chat with the local parish priest and although itís not everybodyís cup of tea, Iíve found myself praying a lot more now than I ever did. I suppose it is a form of release aswell.

12
Antrim / Re: Antrim Football Thread
« on: June 12, 2018, 02:42:56 PM »
I think this is problem wider than just Antrim in general.

Look at the likes of say Cork/ Armagh/ Meath - massive football counties with decent tradition and they have no chance utterly no chance of winning the competition that they are entering year on year. How long is it before players realise this too and start to weigh it up and say feck it this isn't worth it.

Thats before you even get the length of the likes of Antrim.

The whole system is flawed completely flawed. We have in every county more players sitting idle because of this system. The whole thing is eating itself and unless it is addressed and sharpish the eliteism will have killed the whole organisation.

Best post on this board in months.

13
Antrim / Re: Antrim Football Thread
« on: June 12, 2018, 01:05:12 PM »
Pretty much every club has those issues to. I spoke to a Div3 manager here in Antrim at the weekend who said hes lost 5 lads to the States this season. He's working with a panel of 17 now.

14
General discussion / Re: Holidays
« on: June 12, 2018, 09:55:00 AM »
Lads & Ladies,

heading to Dublin in August for a few days.. Have a 2 & 4 year old, what do you recommend?

15
Antrim / Re: Antrim Football Thread
« on: June 12, 2018, 09:31:21 AM »
Brendan, I think you are missing the point of discussion boards i.e. to facilitate debate
We all know the guys on the county board and are working extremely hard to turn Antrim around and its also obvious that no improvements are yet visible on the pitch

IMO we need the following

- Program for Belfast primary schools - achieved
- Program for Belfast secondary schools
- Support program for clubs coaching
- Financial support for clubs who want do develop their facilities
- Casement open

With only one of these in place to start we have many more years in the doldrums I fear..........

All opinions welcome to be heard on this !

Everyone quite raw - completely understandable. That was a bad season by anyones reckoning but what are the positives? what are we going to do about it?

SV have been doing good work (in regards to finances so leave them to it) but the main selling points - your intercounty teams - have been dismal. Theres no short term fix but the mental attitude of antrim footballers needs to be targeted - Steve Peters & his chimp anyone??

Actual physique, decision making and mental strength just not good enough currently.

SV, for all their work off the pitch, seem to be forgetting that its whats on the pitch that really matters.  We've been exceedingly poor during their tenure.  That was the worst Antrim county footballing squad I saw in my lifetime. And ive seen some really really bad ones.

What would it take to get casement open in its current guise?  Has anyone been around it lately? is it a matter of temporary changing facilities on the Andersonstown Road side and cordon off the main stand plus a relaying of grass or is it totally fecked?  We need a suitable base and a place for county football. Theres a degree of pride that comes from your own home. We need a proper base and that's not Corrigan in its current format.  This nomad nonsense is an embarrassment.

All football and hurling training needs to be in Dunsilly - this place needs to be established.  No ifs or buts. Sell the place if this isn't going to happen and direct the money elsewhere. We need a stand there and we need one other club to get a stand.

Lenny isn't my choice but he is others so either hes not up to the job and needs more help,  or someone else is brought in with the correct team.  Regardless of money, in any walk of life, you put the best man you have in to do the job.  So, in relation to football matters, have SV got the right setup there - I don't believe so.

More primary school time needs to be linked with the clubs, whether extended lunchtimes or whatever. Sounds simple but usually depends on the attitude of the head teacher.

Target St Louis, one north Belfast, one west Belfast and one south Belfast secondary/grammar school for specialist input & coaching. Academies linked to Antrim.

Perhaps the biggest problem of all is lack of pride, or resignation that failure is just around the corner.   - Irish version of Steve Peters anywhere??

Not a rant - trying to be constructive.

Hard to disagree with any of that tbh. Lack of pride is the thing that really annoys me!

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