Dumb People

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Was watching an Australian quiz show.

Question: Name 15 of the top 20 countries of origin of immigrants to Australia. These should only include full nation states as recognised by the U.N.

The girl starts of well enough
Italy, Greece, Cyprus, Lebanon, Malta, China, India, New Zealand then really struggles.

She then proceeds to say the U.K., Scotland, England. and was not sure if Ireland is in Northern Ireland or the U.K. She also was also unsure if Tasmania was part of Australia or New Zealand, FFS she was from Gippsland, bloody hell woman Tasmania is just across the bloody straits.

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real!  I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!

Which Carrick btw? Leitrim, Tipperary!

[mayogodhelpus@gmail.com]

Earlier this week I came across this comment re the Worlds friendliest nations from an American 

http://opentravel.com/blogs/5-friendliest-nations-on-planet-earth/

Posters namer: You are all stoopid

Dec 12, 2009 12:29 PM

"LOL Im from Georgia and we arent freindly. IN fact, yud better be careful if your an outsider, but epsecially if yur a damn yankee. I am a few hours outside of Atlanta, so its not like im a real redneck but id rather be a redneck then a stoopid new york city bignose who cant handle himself in a fite.

Also- I cant believe no one knew that georgia isnt a nation but a state in the usa..lol idoits."

[Maguire01]

Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real!  I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!

Which Carrick btw? Leitrim, Tipperary!

Monaghan? Antrim?

[Minder]

Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............

[ardmhachaabu]

Went to College with a lad from Carrick a real dumbass (for some context) and he was going to Dublin for an interview with Aer Lingus and he asked me 'do I need a passport to go to Dublin' - I shit you not, he was for real!  I nearly choked and then replied ' I'm not sure, you will need to check it out'!!

Which Carrick btw? Leitrim, Tipperary!

Monaghan? Antrim?

Donegal?

[ONeill]

I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........

Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............

Sick of listening to the same shite.

[Tony Baloney]

I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........

Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............

Sick of listening to the same shite.

Looking forward to Minder's memoirs.

[Minder]

I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........

Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............

Sick of listening to the same shite.

You have some bastardin' memory

[Tony Baloney]

I was at a table quiz a few years ago and a teacher from a very successful North Antrim sporting school was on our team. The question was name all the Channel Islands if i remember right, her contribution was "The Falklands"..........

Was at a quiz with my mates one night and a question was name the channel islands, my mates wife, who is a teacher offered the Falkland Islands as her answer............

Sick of listening to the same shite.

You have some bastardin' memory

Or he read the previous 4 pages.

[Hurler on the Bitch]

Recall this classic from my time in Atlantic City in the 1990s. Mate of mine is a diabetic and had lost his medicine so one night we ate at a Christian hobo place - free of course - and I asked the Pastor if he could help me find a doctor as my friend had no insulin for his Diabetes. He immediately told me that he could not help as Diabetes was God's way of punishing homosexuals .............. ? When I pointed out that he may be thinking of AIDS - not my view - he accused me of probably being HIV also as I was staying with a Diabetic! 

[longrunsthefox]

Many yaers ago I went to the pictures (as it was once called) to see 'Escape from Alkatras' ... I says to this boy after, 'That is a true story,' and he replied, 'Aye- but it wasn't Clint Eastwood who escaped.'  f** oh!   

[stew]

There is a show over her called the newlywed game. anyhow the premise is that they stick say the wife in a booth and then put headphones on and yer man Bob the compere asks him questions about their relationship. he then switches them around and they compare answers, the more right answers, the better the prizes.

One fine day the smug git asked the husband were the strangest place they had ever made love, he told them the kitchen table, no big deal there, next the hubby heads off to the booth and they aske the questions off of the wife and when it gets to the strangest place they have ever made love she thinks for a minute and says.....................................

that'd be in the butt Bob.   

It wasnt the husband that did her up the aul durt road either, it was hysterical, the look on his face.

[longrunsthefox]

Seen another one Stew from the USA, and they were asked the others most embarrasing thing the other has done. Man says something daft like her going out with odd shoes on or something and audience laughed.
Her turn... "Bill  likes to dress up in women's clothing." Yer man goes bright red and the presenter says, 'Wait till the boys at the yard hear this!'... then he goes white as a sheet.   

[AbbeySider]

I was at a charity table quiz last week in aid of two teachers going to Africa building houses.

The quiz tables were full of teachers bar my table; four software engineers.
Long story short, we came second by a point. The questions we got wrong were not naming the seven dwarfs (couldnt think of Doc) and naming the RGB colours instead of the primary colours (we are totally institutionalised  ).

Anyway the quiz master was a teacher; an older man who spoke every sentence like he was in the classroom. He must have been the dumbest ass in the room and couldnt pronounce anything properly. He struggled with:
"Ro, Rou, Rouald Daaaale, never heard of him" (Roald Dahl)
When answering the questions he remarked:
"Well nobody will have gotten the next one anyway, what is the Japanese art of paper folding? Or-Or-ig-am-i? I dont know..."
When asking the questions he asked
"Who was ar-ar-ar-isss-totals most famous student" (couldnt pronounce aristotle)
Which was followed by
"who was So-cra-tees S-O-C-R-A-T-E-S most famous student? Socrates?... well I dont know who wrote these questions"
(He obviously never heard of either)