What's your relationship with alcohol?

Started by Boycey, October 12, 2018, 11:27:30 PM

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Boycey

I always loved a beer from my teenage years, actually think it might have been the craic I craved rather than the actual beer but I partied hard through those years right up to my mid 30s. I never missed a day off work though or 'had' to have a drink, it never had control of me. As time went on though I found that I resented drink and felt down/anxious after taking it especially on the now less frequent occasions I overindulged but still felt socially awkward when not having a drink...

A couple of years back we had a few setbacks in our lives and during this I was diagnosed by my doctor with depression. I stopped drinking completely, wasn't hard I had nearly stopped by that stage anyways!! I'm working my way through it and doing fairly well but it has set me thinking about the role of alcohol in our lives!!

Everything we do revolves around it, I sometimes feel like a pariah for not drinking within my peer group and I know I'd be (unintentionally) left out of some gatherings because of it. Recently a close friend got married and I was invited to the stag and after having no drink for 20 months I felt I couldnt go without taking a drink, so I went and had a good drink and had a blast in fairness, I also had a drink at the wedding but now I'm happy to give it a miss again but already the cracks have started, well meaning I know, ' so youre back to being a dry shite' etc..

Is drinking too important in this country?

PS I apologise if this makes no sense I just typed it off the top of my head while trying to avoid the Late Late. 

under the bar

Good thread Boycey.  I love drinking but can go for a couple of weeks without one if not in company.  During Tyrone's glory years I def thought I was taking too much in summer through the autumn.  10-15 pints match days and half a dozen just reminiscing after match  days.  You're 100% right that you feel a bit down a couple of days after a binge tho.

magpie seanie

A lot of that resonates Boycey including trying to avoid the Late Late show!!!! Thanks for starting the discussion....will get into it at another time but just a little tired to do it justice tonight.

gallsman

#3
Great topic Boycey.

Before I moved to Spain my drinking had vastly decreased as my then girlfriend lived in Belfast and I was in Dublin. We were up and down to each other pretty much every weekend so the nights out with the lads disappeared and, with them, a lot of my drinking. I also wanted to get fit again as I'd done virtually nothing between finishing up football and hurling at minor and turning 26 or so. I discovered what Saturday and Sunday looked like before noon for the first time since leaving the parents' house! If we were out for dinner we might share a bottle of wine, of which I'd maybe end up having 3/4 and her 1/4.

Over here I might have the odd shandy with the lads after training on a Sunday evening, or a cocktail or glass of wine if out and about the place with the wife. Much more natural over here to be out and about and just decide to have one or two rather than all the planning that goes into it back home. I do keep a drinks cabinet with plenty of good whiskey and gin in it though. I might have a glass of whiskey or max two 2/3 times a month.

I'll very rarely go on a complete bender - big GAA club nights out or fundraisers, stags and weddings the likely sources. Maybe 5 or 6 a year at most. Occasionally if I'm home for a weekend I'll sit up drinking with the aul fella and have a few whiskeys too many.

I would never, and I mean never, decide to have a few beers sitting at home, e.g. whilst watching football or a movie. A few of my friends would have this attitude and they'd be the same ones who can't wait to race out after work on a Friday to have pints, because it's the done thing. One guy I know thinks nothing of going home and drinking six 500ml cans maybe three times every two weeks, along with a big night out at a pub on at a least one of the weekends. Most friends would be similar to my habits though, albeit with a few more binges thrown in. Any friends with kids would probably drink even less than I do. Once we have kids, I'll have no problem giving up the few nights out that I do go on.

Anyone coming out with "dry shite" comments and the like would want to have a long, hard look at themselves. Beyond immature.

tonto1888

Good thread. My relationship with alcohol is that I no longer have one and haven't had for over three years now. When I first quit I didn't even go to a pub for about 6 months. I never had a problem with the booze unless I had a drink. Then all bets were off. One was too many ten not enough. Anyway, I managed to quit. Went on my brothers stag do shortly after and was worried as my mates enjoy the booze. I messaged a few of them before going to let them know the score and they were all grand. The only place I've ever encountered the 'dry shite' malarkey was on tinder. Anyway, if anyone is struggling feel free to drop me a pm.

laoislad

#5
Quote from: gallsman on October 13, 2018, 12:02:55 AM
Great topic Boycey.

Before I moved to Spain my drinking had vastly decreased as my then girlfriend lived in Belfast and I was in Dublin. We were up and down to each other pretty much every weekend so the nights out with the lads disappeared and, with them, a lot of my drinking. I also wanted to get fit again as I'd done virtually nothing between finishing up football and hurling at minor and turning 26 or so. I discovered what Saturday and Sunday looked like before noon for the first time since leaving the parents' house! If we were out for dinner we might share a bottle of wine, of which I'd maybe end up having 3/4 and her 1/4.

Over here I might have the odd shandy with the lads after training on a Sunday evening, or a cocktail or glass of wine if out and about the place with the wife. Much more natural over here to be out and about and just decide to have one or two rather than all the planning that goes into it back home. I do keep a drinks cabinet with plenty of good whiskey and gin in it though. I might have a glass of whiskey or max two 2/3 times a month.

I'll very rarely go on a complete bender - big GAA club nights out or fundraisers, stags and weddings the likely sources. Maybe 5 or 6 a year at most. Occasionally if I'm home for a weekend I'll sit up drinking with the aul fella and have a few whiskeys too many.

I would never, and I mean never, decide to have a few beers sitting at home, e.g. whilst watching football or a movie. A few of my friends would have this attitude and they'd be the same ones who can't wait to race out after work on a Friday to have pints, because it's the done thing. One guy I know thinks nothing of going home and drinking six 500ml cans maybe three times every two weeks, along with a big night out at a pub on at a least one of the weekends. Most friends would be similar to my habits though, albeit with a few more binges thrown in. Any friends with kids would probably drink even less than I do. Once we have kids, I'll have no problem giving up the few nights out that I do go on.

Anyone coming out with "dry shite" comments and the like would want to have a long, hard look at themselves. Beyond immature.
I like having a can or two at home watching a game, especially a mid week Liverpool Champions League game, I certainly wouldn't be the type to go straight to a pub after work on a Friday though. I'd say I've been in a pub maybe 3 or 4 times this whole year.
Saying that I could buy a 8 can fridge pack of beer and I still wouldn't have got through it a month later,but I don't see anything wrong with having an odd drink at home. Myself and the wife might have a couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday night every now and then when the kids are asleep.

One of my greatest pleasures in life though is going for a pint or two with my aul fella. Doesn't happen as often as I like as it's a bit of a juggle now with me having 3 kids. It's not even the drinking part of it, we would have had a stormy enough relationship in my teenage years (all my own fault now that I'm old enough to realise,and have kids of my own) but the past 10-15 years he and me have been great friends. I'll really miss going for a drink with him when the days comes he is no longer here.

Apart from going with my Dad it really wouldn't bother me if I didn't drink for a few months. Unlike when I lived at home and I would have been out in Kilkenny usually every Friday and Saturday
Living in Dublin I wouldn't have many if any friends here that I can just ring to go for a pint. Sometimes I think it be nice to have someone like that to just to go for a pint with and have a chat or whatever but it's not something that I worry about.
I still have friends,former classmates etc down home who spend every Sunday all day in the pub, not something I'd be bothered with and it's something I can't understand as these guys have kids, so maybe I'm better to be away from it.
When you think you're fucked you're only about 40% fucked.

Insane Bolt

We've been going steady for nearly 40 years.

pbat

Personally it has a grip on me, has now for 10 years. I was like most in my early 20's lived for the weekends died on a Monday and that was me until Friday then away again. As the boom years developed and I had more income the Monday club came into play, then midweek till practically it was every night. I used to fool myself with sure I never drink in the house. Had a few personal and financial sets backs in  the late 20's early 30's and things went down hill for me.

That's when the benders started maybe for 2-3 weeks at a time till the body could take no more. Then a week of hell in bed with sickness, paranoia, guilty. Theses benders used to be about twice a year then gradually every couple of months. I would know every early house between Belfast and Dublin This last 10 years has been a train wreck. At least 4 great jobs lost,either let go or quit in a drunken blur, kicked out of places to live, losing friends, broken relationships and treating my family like shit and a month in jail all through drink. I would estimate I have lost the price of at least 2 houses through drink or drink related crap such as missed flights, fines etc.

There is a fog descends on me and nothing will stop me drinking when it does there is nothing more important than drink in my eyes, no money, family on my back, important work events - nothing will stop me when I feel like that.

If I get to Wednesday I will be 100 days off this time, longest in 3 years. Working hard at the moment and have just bought my first new car in 10 years. The thing I have done different this time is I have joined a gym to try and lose weight and get fit which I do feel is helping. But I live in fear, fear of when that cloud will come over me again and I will blow this. I have attended AA meetings and I recognize the brilliant work they do but I feel that is not for me.

Yesterday like every Friday the lads at work where going for a pint and again I had an excuse not to attend but I did not feel I could come out and say look lads I would love to but I cant because i am an alcoholic. I would love to be able to go for one but I know that will end up with me knocking an early house door at 8am Monday morning and not caring about the job. There is a bit in the show the West Wing where they discuss alcoholism and Leo is asked can he not have a drink and he says the problem is he doesn't want 1 drink he wants 10 and he can never understand someone who goes for one drink. I totally get that sentiment. 

But I get what Boycey is saying about been overlooked for invites to things when I am off, and the snide comments such as grow a set of balls and get this sorted or your a pussy.( 2 former teammates use that one to me a lot). My parents nor my siblings never drank but through my wider family on both sides there is an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I am 40 now and my health does not reflect that of a 40 year old.

I hear the young lads (17-18) around the club on a Sunday morning telling about how drunk they were and done this or done that, and I smile and laugh along thinking I was there. But I would like that maybe through school or the club they could be shown where it can take you. We do need to address the attitude in the country as a whole on alcohol, win a cup drink for 4 days, weddings now 3 days sessions, funerals drink, school dances drink, going to watch the county play a day on the drink. I dont know if I had been told the dangers and horrors at 17 would it have been any different for me but I feel as a society when need to try.

It seems like a month a go my biggest worry was preparing for a minor county semi - final but as I survey the wreckage of the last 22 years I dont wish that on anyone.

manfromdelmonte

Had a nice craft ale from a bottle last night
I felt one was enough

Sometimes I'd have 3/4 pints of a night, nothing too mad.
I like the odd whiskey over ice and hot whiskeys

I did drink a good bit in college though

illdecide

I very rarely drink but then that's been the case for years, I drank plenty from i was 16 until about 20 until i bought a car and then the drinking sessions got less and less. I'm now 45 and couldn't care less if i never got another pint, I have to say I was a bit different to most guys as in when i got a pint i really enjoyed it but then the second pint wasn't as nice as the first and then the 3rd pint i'd had enough whereas other guys got 3 or 4 pints they couldn't be stopped and would be out for the night and i wanted to go home.
I would go to Glasgow to watch Celtic and most years they get into Europe i'd go to Spain or Germany to watch them and i'd be the only one not drinking, in fact when i see the state some of the supporters are in i feel like punching them and always ask myself if there was no alcohol available would you be still here.

I do believe our Irish culture of getting drunk on a regular basis is shocking and you do end up doing it because it's the in thing to do as everyone around you is doing it, I love when on Holiday in Spain or Italy and maybe a Saturday night you see the young ones driving on their scooters meeting up for a coffee and having a bit of craic then i'd say to the wife "if that was back home they'd be rowdy, drunk, fighting and probably breaking glass". Our culture may well change and it probably is changing slowly as the Irish drinking culture probably came from generations of having nothing and the only thing to do socially was to have a drink (dunno just an opinion) but hopefully our next generation and them beyond them take it less and less.
I can swim a little but i can't fly an inch

gallsman

Statistics show that younger generations are drinking less - it was even in the news this week. Confirmed for me what I'd have seen in likes of Erasmus students coming to Barcelona each year. They might have one or two beers, as they were attending all their money on coke and K.


bennydorano

As i've got older i'm pretty much a hermit, drink only really on occasions and I would resent having to go to these occasions most of the time tbh. I would have been a pretty typical bombscare by the sounds of it, but I always felt I'd a terrible relationship with drink. I was a typical Weekender, was never a social drinker,  2 or 3 pints was an anathema to me, I was after the result. I'd  say it started in teenage social awkwardness and drink giving me the confidence with the opposite sex. I  resent that i pretty much wasted my physical prime, fit as a butcher's dog now ffs in middle age. I'd enjoy a drink on holidays now but still be fit to get up and be active first thing next morning.

Fiodoir Ard Mhacha

The bravest and most honest post I've seen here in years, pbat.

Four weeks off it today. Did my serious sessions over the years. This year, my dad died and my life has been in some personal turmoil since. Alcohol didn't help. I'm playing this abstinence thing purely weekend by weekend.
"Something wrong with your eyes?....
Yes, they're sensitive to questions!"

screenexile

Fair play pbat you're doing well keep it going!!

I don't particularly like drink I mean I there was a pint of beer or a pint of coke or sprite out in front of me I wouldn't be picking the beer.

It's the social thing for me of going out with the lads and having the craic I could honestly take it or leave it. As I've the family now the new mantra is "out early home early" so I really enjoy that 5-8 on a Friday evening with 5:6 pints but having said they I haven't done it in a couple of months as the lads I normally do it with are trying to get healthy.

I will still take a right bit at weddings and certain functions etc but would rarely if ever get completely shitfaced and could handle 5:6 pints along with the same in gin/whisky if I had to but would be conscious that more would destroy me for a couple of days.

Drinking on my own has no appeal so I'd never read to the pub just on my wine and my back fridge is still full of beer I got last  Christmas and only gets used if we've visitors.

My wife would have a drink 3/4 nights a week and really enjoys it but it would never be more than 1 or 2 and maybe a bit more at the weekend.

Does anyone really enjoy the actual taste of it??