Things that make you go What the F**k?

[StGallsGAA]

http://www.teamtalk.com/news/england-to-consider-rodgers-as-hodgson-replacement

Perfect man for the job.  A media bullshitter with no playing pedigree and a failed club manager.  England manager material  all the way!!

[Hereiam]

Spending £4.82 in a shop and been told that it has to be over a fiver to use your bank card. WTF Why why why why why

[AZOffaly]

With the latest technology available should cash machines not be getting quicker?!  They all seem desperately slow with umpteen requests to balance views, receipts etc.

The one that gets me is  when they only have €50s and you ask for €80 or €120 and it comes back and tells you to choose something else. If it knew it only had €50s why the **** didn't it tell you that at the beginning?

It depends on the software installed on the device. Some ATM software 'pre counts' the cash drawers and will have a message about no 10s, 20s ,whatever. Others will have versions which calculate the permutations it can service, and only display those options. That software shows gaps where the 20, 40, 60 or whatever should be, and only leaves, 50, 100, 200 whatever. Other versions don't pre-count at all, and only when it tries to service the request does it come back with an error.

Again, some of that software will tell you 'multiples of 50' or whatever, but other versions will just tell you 'try another amount' and go off and check again.

This software is normally controlled by the ATM Vendors, rather than the banks. The Bank tells them what they want to appear, but the ATM software is written by the vendors. (NCR or Wincor primarily in ROI).

[Puckoon]

Spending £4.82 in a shop and been told that it has to be over a fiver to use your bank card. WTF Why why why why why

Each transaction costs the vendor money. Not unusual to have a card minimum. I'd argue it is a cost of doing business, but they are getting away with it

[armaghniac]

With the latest technology available should cash machines not be getting quicker?!  They all seem desperately slow with umpteen requests to balance views, receipts etc.

The one that gets me is  when they only have €50s and you ask for €80 or €120 and it comes back and tells you to choose something else. If it knew it only had €50s why the **** didn't it tell you that at the beginning?

It depends on the software installed on the device. Some ATM software 'pre counts' the cash drawers and will have a message about no 10s, 20s ,whatever. Others will have versions which calculate the permutations it can service, and only display those options. That software shows gaps where the 20, 40, 60 or whatever should be, and only leaves, 50, 100, 200 whatever. Other versions don't pre-count at all, and only when it tries to service the request does it come back with an error.

Again, some of that software will tell you 'multiples of 50' or whatever, but other versions will just tell you 'try another amount' and go off and check again.

This software is normally controlled by the ATM Vendors, rather than the banks. The Bank tells them what they want to appear, but the ATM software is written by the vendors. (NCR or Wincor primarily in ROI).

Clearly it is the software and clearly it is the like of NCR that write the  software. But at present we have a separation of powers  approach, AIB machines which I often use, have a $90 option on the menu but display this regardless of the machines ability to dispense it. Giving the customer an accurate choice makes such sense that it seems a no brainer that banks would have insisted on this from day 1. People often rant, rightly, about public services that subject their customers to pointless bollix, but private organisations do this also. It is 35 years since ATMs appeared in Ireland, they have had plenty of time to get it right. And going back to Tony Baloney's original point, if the machine tells most people to choose a different amount then this contributes to a completely unnecessary queue at the machine.

Spending £4.82 in a shop and been told that it has to be over a fiver to use your bank card. WTF Why why why why why

Each transaction costs the vendor money. Not unusual to have a card minimum. I'd argue it is a cost of doing business, but they are getting away with it

It is a cost of business, but one that people paying with cash do not impose, so these would be subsidising the card micro payers.

[AZOffaly]

With the latest technology available should cash machines not be getting quicker?!  They all seem desperately slow with umpteen requests to balance views, receipts etc.

The one that gets me is  when they only have €50s and you ask for €80 or €120 and it comes back and tells you to choose something else. If it knew it only had €50s why the **** didn't it tell you that at the beginning?

It depends on the software installed on the device. Some ATM software 'pre counts' the cash drawers and will have a message about no 10s, 20s ,whatever. Others will have versions which calculate the permutations it can service, and only display those options. That software shows gaps where the 20, 40, 60 or whatever should be, and only leaves, 50, 100, 200 whatever. Other versions don't pre-count at all, and only when it tries to service the request does it come back with an error.

Again, some of that software will tell you 'multiples of 50' or whatever, but other versions will just tell you 'try another amount' and go off and check again.

This software is normally controlled by the ATM Vendors, rather than the banks. The Bank tells them what they want to appear, but the ATM software is written by the vendors. (NCR or Wincor primarily in ROI).

Clearly it is the software and clearly it is the like of NCR that write the  software. But at present we have a separation of powers  approach, AIB machines which I often use, have a $90 option on the menu but display this regardless of the machines ability to dispense it. Giving the customer an accurate choice makes such sense that it seems a no brainer that banks would have insisted on this from day 1. People often rant, rightly, about public services that subject their customers to pointless bollix, but private organisations do this also. It is 35 years since ATMs appeared in Ireland, they have had plenty of time to get it right. And going back to Tony Baloney's original point, if the machine tells most people to choose a different amount then this contributes to a completely unnecessary queue at the machine.

Spending £4.82 in a shop and been told that it has to be over a fiver to use your bank card. WTF Why why why why why

Each transaction costs the vendor money. Not unusual to have a card minimum. I'd argue it is a cost of doing business, but they are getting away with it

It is a cost of business, but one that people paying with cash do not impose, so these would be subsidising the card micro payers.

I agree with you, but the new ATMs are more 'intelligent' in stuff like this. And believe me when I tell you the Banks are not in love with large queues at devices, they prefer quicker transaction times and more customers served.

Some of the old ATMs are very clunky, but at the moment there is a rejuve going on around the country with ATMs, which will allow remote update of the screens users see, which should lead to more efficient user sessions as the better ATMs are tailored.

You wouldn't believe the MI that's generated in this area, so it's definitely something they are looking to improve, albeit way later than they should have.

[StGallsGAA]

Spending £4.82 in a shop and been told that it has to be over a fiver to use your bank card. WTF Why why why why why

In such cases I tell them to put it through as a fiver and give me the 18p as change. Most are happy enough to do so but the odd one says "sorry, we're not allowed to give cash-back" and I say "I'm not asking you for cash back,  I'm asking for the 18p change you owe me out of my fiver!".

[armaghniac]

You wouldn't believe the MI that's generated in this area, so it's definitely something they are looking to improve, albeit way later than they should have.

Interfaces of all sorts remain crap for years, few organisations are customer friendly in this respect.

Spending £4.82 in a shop and been told that it has to be over a fiver to use your bank card. WTF Why why why why why

In such cases I tell them to put it through as a fiver and give me the 18p as change. Most are happy enough to do so but the odd one says "sorry, we're not allowed to give cash-back" and I say "I'm not asking you for cash back,  I'm asking for the 18p change you owe me out of my fiver!".

Why should they facilitate you? The minimum charge is there to give the shop the possibility of profit that exceeds what they have to pay to process your card, why don't you just give them a fiver?

[Hereiam]

Didn't have a fiver. Had no money on me
How come all shops dont have this policy. Its a joke.

[imtommygunn]

Andrey kanchelskis applying for derry city job...

[Pub Bore]

http://sluggerotoole.com/2015/10/12/money-to-burn-rates-spent-on-bonfire-pallets-scandal/

The Irish News ran a front page story on Saturday in which it was revealed that Antrim Borough Council had breached its own guidelines for successive years in order to fund the purchase of pallets for loyalist bonfires to the tune of more than £6,300 across the borough in 2013 and 2014.

The story featured on today's BBC Radio Ulster Nolan Show, when UUP Councillor Drew Ritchie defended the expenditure as "money well spent" on "a traditional part of any bonfire"- even though the Council had stated it was "made in error."

The full list of items funded is quite revealing, and includes thousands of pounds given to loyalist flute bands to apparently play music at the bonfires, as well as a remarkable £650 spent on a facepainter in Monkstown in 2014- in spite of every other bonfire, including Monkstown the previous year, paying out in between £100 and £300 on facepainting.......

Of the 14 Newtownabbey bonfires receiving funding over the two years, only Rathfern appears to have secured insurance- in both years.

The final caller to the Nolan Show this morning asked the right question: Do the bonfire builders have any receipts for the pallets bought?

Hmmmmmm.......

These revelations once again illustrate why the SDLP Minister Mark H Durkan is entirely correct to pursue the option of licensing all bonfires in future years.

[brokencrossbar1]

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug-broke-wrist?CMP=fb_gu

The aunt, Jennifer Connell, claims her nephew acted unreasonably when his exuberant greeting caused her to fall and break her wrist in 2011, the Westport News reported from the courthouse on Monday.A Manhattan human resources manager is suing her 12-year-old nephew for leaping into her arms when he welcomed her to his eighth birthday party. She is seeking $127,000 in damages from the boy, whose mother died last year. Westport News also reported that the 12-year-old appeared confused as he sat in the courtroom with his father.
Connell reportedly testified that she loves her nephew, whom she described as always being "very loving, sensitive" toward her.
He had been riding his first two-wheeled bicycle – which was bright red, according to testimony – around his home when Connell arrived. When she did, he dropped it, saying: "Auntie Jen, Auntie Jen!"

"I remember him shouting, 'Auntie Jen, I love you,' and there he was flying at me," Connell reportedly testified.

Of the damage done, Connell testified that she did not complain at the time, but she said her life had been "very difficult" since the injury because of "how crowded it is in Manhattan".

"I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d'oeuvre plate," she reportedly said.

This article was amended on 13 October 2015 to correct the age of the boy from 11 to 12.

[muppet]

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug-broke-wrist?CMP=fb_gu

The aunt, Jennifer Connell, claims her nephew acted unreasonably when his exuberant greeting caused her to fall and break her wrist in 2011, the Westport News reported from the courthouse on Monday.A Manhattan human resources manager is suing her 12-year-old nephew for leaping into her arms when he welcomed her to his eighth birthday party. She is seeking $127,000 in damages from the boy, whose mother died last year. Westport News also reported that the 12-year-old appeared confused as he sat in the courtroom with his father.
Connell reportedly testified that she loves her nephew, whom she described as always being "very loving, sensitive" toward her.
He had been riding his first two-wheeled bicycle – which was bright red, according to testimony – around his home when Connell arrived. When she did, he dropped it, saying: "Auntie Jen, Auntie Jen!"

"I remember him shouting, 'Auntie Jen, I love you,' and there he was flying at me," Connell reportedly testified.

Of the damage done, Connell testified that she did not complain at the time, but she said her life had been "very difficult" since the injury because of "how crowded it is in Manhattan".

"I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d'oeuvre plate," she reportedly said.

This article was amended on 13 October 2015 to correct the age of the boy from 11 to 12.

That's hilarious.

'Terror wrist broken by 8 year old!'

[stew]

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug-broke-wrist?CMP=fb_gu

The aunt, Jennifer Connell, claims her nephew acted unreasonably when his exuberant greeting caused her to fall and break her wrist in 2011, the Westport News reported from the courthouse on Monday.A Manhattan human resources manager is suing her 12-year-old nephew for leaping into her arms when he welcomed her to his eighth birthday party. She is seeking $127,000 in damages from the boy, whose mother died last year. Westport News also reported that the 12-year-old appeared confused as he sat in the courtroom with his father.
Connell reportedly testified that she loves her nephew, whom she described as always being "very loving, sensitive" toward her.
He had been riding his first two-wheeled bicycle – which was bright red, according to testimony – around his home when Connell arrived. When she did, he dropped it, saying: "Auntie Jen, Auntie Jen!"

"I remember him shouting, 'Auntie Jen, I love you,' and there he was flying at me," Connell reportedly testified.

Of the damage done, Connell testified that she did not complain at the time, but she said her life had been "very difficult" since the injury because of "how crowded it is in Manhattan".

"I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d'oeuvre plate," she reportedly said.

This article was amended on 13 October 2015 to correct the age of the boy from 11 to 12.

That's hilarious.

'Terror wrist broken by 8 year old!'

Stupid bitch!

[bennydorano]

Of the damage done, Connell testified that she did not complain at the time, but she said her life had been "very difficult" since the injury because of "how crowded it is in Manhattan".

Translation:
'I only realised it hurt when i copped on he was inheriting money from his dead mother.'

I wonder how people justify shit like this to themselves. A good f**king booting required.